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[30 Dec 2005|09:57pm]
[ mood | cranky ]

i think the sky is falling! katy is actually updating her journal!

ok anyway i am so emo right now. but i hope i can make chages next year. not huge earth-shattering ones but small ones within myself. i wish not to be so moody and standoffish. i wish to be more comfortable with myself and my body. i wish to let people in and not be so afraid that they will leave or fade away. i wish that people with get to know the REAL me. i mean no body really knows the REAL me. except Allison really. i mean does anyone know that i absolutely LIVE off of books. last night i read a whole book while lying in my bed. thats two books in 3 days. no one knows that i am a pretty decent writer and i keep a journal. no one knows that i secretly like cold overcast weather over bright sunny days. but that depends on my mood. most people dont even know that i pull a 3.967. i feel sorta out of it this past month. and annother thing that buggs me is ya know everyones like "oh katy your so pretty!" "your soo funny" "la te dah blah blah" dont get me wrong compliments are fine. but it makes me wonder " then why isnt anyone intrested in me?" i'm talkin boys here. i mean the only ones who show intrist are weirdo people who want me to hug them all the time and poke me in my stomach thinking it turns me on or whatever. yeah thats one of my biggest pet peeves, that stomache poking thing isnt gettin you anywhere so cut it. but sometimes i wonder if its my red hair and freckles. i mean i know that sounds dumb but i am serious! i hear the phrases "you screw blondes and date brunetts" wheres the red-head in all that. i tell ya i am bein discriminated against! i dont know fuck that shit! lol i'm done. happy new year

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