well this weekend was potentally the most amazing weekend ever.. but wasnt.. still amazing..
friday: unintentionally got drunk @ erins
Saturday: late for work b/c the of the previous night, then toris birthday in the city.. LIPS was histerical, Pacha was ehh kinda crappy until i ment some marines b.c it was fleet week. they were great..he was amazing
Sunday: bullet for my valentine show but didnt get to see them b/c my friend got punched in the nose broke it during walls of jerico and so i had to spend the rest of the night in a hospital. i hate hospitals.
Monday: went back tothe city with emily and tori to visit our boys.. yeah hes still amazing..[unforunately] awesome time too bad we couldnt stay at the cute russian bar longer
Overall: i ment someone who i really thouhgt we hit it off but i guess i was led on but its okay b/c i probably wont see him again no matter how much i want to. still hurts though. i didnt get to see bullet play but its okay b/c i got to hang out with a good friend who i normally dont get too and noses heal. a positive is that i did a lot of thinking and re-evaluating things.. the things i finally admited hurt and i stil have this unexplained hurt or emptyness but i know its gonna be ok.. it has to be.
i have done things i never thouhgt id do and thats all that matters
IT MY 18th BIRTHDAY TODAY WOOOOOOTTTTTTTT
too bad i visited pratt and didnt like it :(
Everyone whose anyone needs to come to my fashion show tomorrow 7pm @ MHS for $5 .. if you come i will love you forever
a few things..
senior year is supposed to be fuin and so far im hating every second of it.. school , friends, stress all just sucks but whatever
one thing that is contributing to my stress is the fashion show @ MHS soo who ever is interested in fashion can be apart.. either make ur own line, do designs or can even halp me with the program and stuff.. please contact me the show is in november.. i need all the help i can get
i suck as assassins.. i didnt know the rules and i fail at the oppurtunity to get the team i had out and i tonight after a long car chase in my dads truck i got out but at least i avioded an accident im really pissed though b/c i just feel jipped and guilty.. i let my team down and i let myself down i tried to be strong it so hard for me to try and be mean for no reason idk im stupid and am making excuses for my stupidity. hopefully my team will makeit to the next round so i have another chance
well me and cass went to empress to see wakefeild it was ok ... almost not worth it. but on the way hoe we got stuck in soo much taffiv on 84.. there was this devistating accident. there was body bags and everything. then finally i got off and stopped to get gas, and the gas station attendent was like they are investigating b/c now its a crime scene and all this stuff and it makes a person think.. why? it makes me think about the pointlessness of speeding, reckless driving, racing and all that b/c look what could happen, as corny as it may seem but you only have one life, live it well with no regrets and dont worry about the past, it will only bring saddness, then cass called kel and she had just gotten into an accident with a deer on her way home from the Yankee game, and its also the 2 year anniversary of Steven P's death. lets just say that ride home was sad and silent. my mind keeps on wondering and thinking what if? or imagine if? but in reality at least 2 people in that accident tonight lost their lives due to carelessness.. its scary, imagine the families, the friends. its horrible.. almost a nightmare.. actually its a nightmare become reality for those families. well my prayers are with them and now my mind is on living my life to the fullest and goign to try to make ood choices. unfortunatly somethoing like this turns into a wake up call .. i sound selfish turning those people's devistation and tragedy about me so im goin to stop.. but to everone else.. think b4 you act you never know what could happen. never leave somewhere mad or anything. being mad is only a waste of time and a waste of energy..
love you all
New years was fun.. i missed my friends but i got to spend it with cait and boys i rarly talk to but it was fun in penn. i didnt go snowboarding b/c there wasnt good snow but i shopped, bowled, and got drunk. so it wasnt half bad
1. What did you do in 2004 that you'd never done before?
picke up smoking
2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
nope.. i always have soemtyhing in the back of my head but they never mean anything
3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
4. Did anyone close to you die?
2 people in the past month but they werent really close to me. they were a father or a husband of someone close
5. What countries did you visit?
france italy and good ol' USofA
6. What would you like to have in 2005 that you lacked in 2004?
a real genuine boyfriend
7. What dates from 2004 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
italy with cel, dana, katie and sarah just b/c its italy and france wiht my best friends and then going to NC with cait and katie b/c i love them dearly .. also everynight at starbucks. no matter how lame or anyting you always hada friend there. AHh just summer in general was amazing
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
making amazing new friends who i will love forever and ever and of course keeping my old ones close to my heart b/c my friends are all i have :) they mean everything to me
9. What was your biggest failure?
10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
pnemonia last january b/c of newyears and snowboarding with a hangover
11. What was the best thing you bought?
my orange stillettos
12. Whose behaviour merited celebration?
my friends in general
13. Whose behaviour made you appalled and depressed?
14. Where did most of your money go?
gas food and ciggerettes
15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
vacations and my licence
16. What song will always remind you of 2004?
matches-jack slap cheer.. snoop dog- drop it like its hot.. jesse mcartney- beautiful soul.. ASHLEE SIMPSON-lala
17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
a) happier or sadder? happier in some sadder in others
b) thinner or fatter? fatter definately
c) richer or poorer? poorer with out a doubt
18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
working.. school and work wise
19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
20. How will you be spending Christmas?
with the family
22. Did you fall in love in 2004?
23. How many one-night stands?
24. What was your favorite TV program?
yes dear, will and grace, life as we know it, king of queens, laguna beach
25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
i dont really hate anyone
26. What was the best book you read?
well i dont really read but i love perks of being a wallflower even thought i didnt read that this year
27. What was your greatest musical discovery?
28. What did you want and get?
i want nermous things and i got one which was a cd player in my car
29. What did you want and not get?
30. What was your favorite film of this year?
napoleon dynomite, the incredables.. i cant really think of this year
31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
i turned 17 and it was fucking awesome. igot to shared it with joe and the weekend b4 got really drunk which is something i usually dont get to do, im always am driving, and then on the day of i had people over it was fun
32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
"if i could tell people what i was thinkig more often, instead of always worrying what could happen"<-- becca said that and i agreee.. also a boyfriend i just really want one and frankly i started not to care who by the end of the year and it was rediculous.. i just wanted something special
33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2004?
everything from being a bum to crazy accessories. i did it all
34. What kept you sane?
i dont think anything i really am not sane at all
35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
chad michael murry i never was fond of him until i saw a cinderella story
36. What political issue stirred you the most?
i dont really pay attention to politics buti guesss the whole war thing
37. Who did you miss?
eric.. i never see him anymore and its my fault.. and other old ghuy friends but not as much as eric
38. Who was the best new person you met?
i cant just pick just one
39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2004:
"When you are young not much matters, when you find something you like that's all you got. " the movie kids.. i never saw it but cait had it on her profile and its just soo true
40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:
"I smile when I think about it
Know I can't live without it
laugh and go on about this all the time
never have i felt this way
always will it be the same
here i am infatuated" - unsung zeros
i finally realized it. it finally hit me. im sick of this but i finally understand.. im just horrible.. in every aspect
and it kills me.