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Biggest dork in the world...? [22 Dec 2008|12:51am]
Yea that would be me as a kid.

I have changed soo much. I still consider myself inherently the same, but it would be impossible for me to be so open or careless now. I've just read a bunch of my old writing, and I can't help but notice how different I've become. I have spent so much of my energy on being trained, on learning, and on being transformed into a successful individual. Maybe some of my individuality has been slightly eroded. I can't help but wonder what I have lost in my desire to achieve. How much is simply maturing, and how much is of a more conscience decision? I believe in the old sentiment "How many cares one loses when one decides not to be something but to be someone", but how far does that go? Do we lose pieces of ourself when we try to become someone as well?

Sorry for this philosophical crap. I have had nothing to do today but think, and it has started me thinking intently.

On a different note: I forgot to mention that I will be attending President Obama's inauguration in D.C. on January 20th! I raised $2600, and will be going with my AP Government group for a week to learn about politics from Jan 17th-23rd. Juiced? You bet.

Twinkle, twinkle... 6 little bats.

Last updated 143 weeks ago... [21 Dec 2008|10:32pm]
[ mood | nostalgic ]

Well, I guess that whole keeping people updated thing didn't last very long. lol And re-reading my past entries, I seriously don't know how you people put up with me. Seriously.  If even my writing is annoying, how  bad could I have been in person? How come no one told me about that? Jeeze, as Rodion Romanovitch Raskolnikov would say, "loving, over-partial hearts!".

Speaking of which, I am reading Crime and Punishment by Fyodor Dostoevsky, and what a pychological mind-trip! I have to analyze this main character, Rodya, who is going mentally insane. He murdered some people, and now he is going mad. I feel like I need some sunshine, a puppy, and a therapy session after every reading.

Soo...life has changed a lot for me. Some of you know, some of you don't (does anyone even read this crap???), haha but I guess I can summarize some of it. Mi familia moved to Indiana, but I've stayed in California because I couldn't be parted from all you lovely people. Well actually, I couldn't be parted from my music program, but you were all a factor! In my heart at least. I've had the fortune to become friends with my number one idol, Frederica Von Stade, and she set me up to live with her best friend, Jackie Cloren, in Alameda. Which brings me to now! See, I told you it would be summarized. Oh ye of little faith. (yea, I also just got done reading The Bible. damn you, AP English!)

College stuff: I've applied to pretty much all music conservatories (in case you didn't know, that's my thing right now lol), and I'm hoping for a full scholarship! Although I do know that is a lot to hope for. My list so far in no particular order: Oberlin, San Francisco Conservatory, Manhattan School of Music, Juilliard, Curtis Institute of Music, College-Conservatory of Cincinnati, University of Michigan, Northwestern University, and SF State (safe school). There may be more, but I can't remember off the top of my head. So far, my prescreening audition tape has been accepted at SF Conservatory, Manhattan School of Music, and College-Conservatory of Cincinnati, so I've been invited for live auditions.

What other news is there? SAT score=2100 (yea I know, I could have done better. But fuck it, I'm going to a music school haha) ACT score=30, SAT subject (English)= 690, SAT subject (US History)= 700, AP Exam (English)= 5, AP Exam (US History)= 5, GPA= (academic) 4.01, (total) 3.84...

uh yea. Oh, and if anyone is interested in seeing me perform:
YMP Student Recital: January 25th, 2pm sharp, (I'll only be singing like, one or two songs, but it's FREE. lol sorry, no punch or cookies)
YMP Senior Recital: Sometime in May. The 17th maybe? I'll get back to you on that one (again: FREE)
Pocket Opera Company (San Francisco): La Belle Helene: Feb 21st 2pm (Julia Morgan Theatre), March 1st 2pm (Legion of Honor [wherever the hell that is...?]), March 8th 2pm (Legion of Honor), March 15th 2pm (Napa Valley Opera House)---WARNING: it costs money!

Ticket Prices:

$34 (in advance), $37 (at the door) General Admission
$31 (in advance), $34 (at the door) Seniors
$20 (under 18) Youth
$20 Student Rush (30 minutes prior to curtain time)

Ok, I'm being called downstairs to watch the Nutcracker, and this is already absurdly long, so...

Twinkle, twinkle... 3 little bats.

[26 Mar 2006|12:44am]
[ mood | cheerful ]

So I feel MUCH better now! YAY! Back to my chipper self. Thanks everyone for the help! It really...helped? Umm. yeah! ^^ I looked at all my old livejournal entries and was like "Wow, I was really annoying!" Heh. And I haven't changed a bit! Thankfully, my writing has calmed down some. Not so hyper.


Ugh. I have a YMP recital April 8th. Suck! Oh well. Well, I don't really have anything else to say, soo...I'm gonna go eat some ice-cream. Who screams for ice-cream? I SCREAM FOR ICE-CREAM! ^_______^"

Twinkle, twinkle... 3 little bats.

Warning: High Levels of Stress and Anxiety [16 Mar 2006|10:49pm]
[ mood | distressed ]

Life really sucks right now. It seems impossible for me to do anything right. I can't even remember the last time I felt good about something. I'm failing at school, YMP, and Seussical. Wow, and now I sound emo. Too bad, I feel shitty. UUUUGGGHHHHH! Anyone have a suggestion to help me cheer up? Right now I want to curl up into a ball and disappear.

I just wish I was proud of something, but everything I do lately is one failure after another. And the worst part are all the disappointed looks I get. I feel every one like a stab at my heart. I know I'm screwing up! Believe me! I probably beat myself up more than you ever could. The guilt is killing me. Please! I need help getting back on track. It's mainly the attendance problem. My well of motivation and energy has dried up.

I'm sorry. This will probably come across as emo. But really, I just need help. Any suggestions would be GREATLY appreciated. Thanks.

Twinkle, twinkle... 5 little bats.

Whoa [12 Mar 2006|11:05pm]
[ mood | lethargic ]

Wow, crazy! This is actually Kendra. So I decided to maybe start this up again. No promises, but it might happen every now and then.

Hmm...lets see. Life is pretty good. Seussical rehearsals are pure death though. OPENING NIGHT IS APRIL 21ST! Ask me for other performance times cause I'm too lazy to list them all right now.

Yep yep. Not really much to say. I have a project that I should be doing right now, so I think I'll get to that.

Twinkle, twinkle... 4 little bats.

[16 Jul 2005|12:32pm]
[ mood | tired ]

First post as Sandra filling in for Kendra. Here goes...

So last night, Sandra, Rob, Mecha (Rob's girlfriend), Erin, and I went to Fremont to see Kelsey and go to a Potter party. I wasn't going to get a copy because I didn't think I would have enough, and then when we got there I saw that they were only $18 and I realized that I would've had enough if I hadn't spent any money at 7-11 earlier. But Sandra gave me $7 and John gave me $2 to cover tax, and I got my wristband and then waited. I was number 266 of the unreserved, so we had to wait till around 1:30 AM. We finally got it, and then spent a little more time hanging out with Kelsey before we went home. Sandra made me let her read the first chapter in exchange for the money she gave me.

Other than that, it's been school, school, school. Every morning, I get up for school at around 6:30 AM, and most days I don't get home till after 7:00 PM.

Oh, but I had a recital yesterday, and I performed Memory and (Some Italian song which Sandra can't possibly remember the title to, much less know how to spell it). It went really well. I'm too humble to brag, so Sandra has been going around telling everyone how I got a standing ovation AND a second bow.

I'm glad there's been some good stuff these past couple days, because there's been some family trouble and it's been hard. I don't know how much I want to go into here, but there's been lots of tears, and my friends are feeling pretty helpless (or worthless?) because they can't do anything to make it better.

That's pretty much everything for now! Yay for more frequent updates! Even if they aren't written by me...

Twinkle, twinkle... 1 little bat.

[05 Apr 2005|03:59am]
[ mood | bouncy ]


It's also 4:00am right now and I've only slept 6 hours in the past 3 days. BUT THAT'S OKAY!

In case anyone wanted to get me a gift, NOT THAT YOU HAVE TO!!!, I have a list of awesome things.

Kendra's List:::::

1. Neat green stuff

5. Celtic jewelery/stuff. Anything celtic you think I might like.

3. Gift cards to clothes spots. (Urban Outfitters, Forever 21, WHATEVER!!)

8. Really good books.

1. The usual stuff: LOTR!!, HP, more whatever.

4. Gift cards for spots with good Thai/Vietnamese/Japanese food/drink.

YEAH!!! Let's hear it one more time for being 14!!!
And again for going to school on no sleep!!! W00T!!

Twinkle, twinkle... 6 little bats.

Oh Romeo, Romeo...where art thou for Romeo? [08 Nov 2004|05:04pm]
[ mood | bored ]

First Romeo and Juliet play was today. We totally botched it. (I'm Juliet by the way. YAY!!) Romeo forgot two of his lines so I had cover it up. Plus he forgot his sword for the fight scene, and forgot the poison and dagger for the death scene, (I had to compensate by killing myself with his sword). Then I missed my cue to go on stage, and there was a 10sec pause.

Oh well. Almost all first performances are awful. Hopefully the next one will be better.

Thanks to all those who comforted me in my time of need.(Bush winning presidency) You made me feel that the world was not totally lost. And thanks for all the hugs. I really appreciate it.

Not much else to say...I'm enjoying a nice cup of strawberry soda...Err. Right, on that note, I'll leave you to your other journals.

Twinkle, twinkle... 2 little bats.

Doomsday [02 Nov 2004|10:11pm]
[ mood | nervous ]

Bush is winning...

I need some comfort food...

Chocolate would be nice...

I need a hug too...


Twinkle, twinkle... 6 little bats.

[16 Oct 2004|10:58am]
[ mood | indifferent ]

Hehe, I think it's been a long enough wait. Anyway, I woke up at about 4:50am this morning, so don't expect this to be overly intelligent. Or even legible for that matter. ^.^ I MISS YOU GUYS! Well, school's started. YMP's over. -tear- Life will go on. Oh, Jake brought over a friend named Daniel (But everyone calls him Oz). This is old news, but I still haven't posted it yet. Anyway, he's very awesome. Really funny and sweet. You guys will like him. Well, those of you who haven't met him.

Next topic. School: My humanities teacher is way too hard. He gives us easy work, and I do it all perfectly, but I still have a 'B'! What's up with that?! Advanced Drama is the best, like always. We're doing a totally butchered version of Romeo and Juliet. I got Juliet, so I bought the 1960's DVD and sobbed over it. Honor Band's great. We were going to play the theme song from West Wing, but most of the class couldn't handle the high notes. Oh, AND I'M FIRST CLARINET CHAIR. I say clarinet chair because the bassoon player sits before me. But that doesn't count, does it?

Anyway, currently at Kat's house. She's not here. -sob- But I'll live. Tigger is going to take me to Mary Anne's B-day party. I love Westfield parties. They're always so much fun. I'm hoping on going swimming but it really matters what temperature the water is. I don't feel in the mood for freazing my ass off. ^_^' Well, that's about it. I'll hopefully update again soon. ^.^


Twinkle, twinkle... 1 little bat.

My Life [27 Jul 2004|06:37pm]
[ mood | restless ]

I'm now into Modes of the Major Scale, and inversions. Painful stuff for the brain. Piano's coming along well, but I'm getting sores on the sides of my pinkies and thumbs. Whenever I press a key with those fingers, They're always slanted, so it presses in wierd places. Oh well. School starts August 30th. Totally not ready for it. I don't want YMP to end. There's this really cute grunge-rock boy who plays trumpet in the Oakland Symphony, at YMP. VERY cute. But, he's 14, so I'm too shy to interact with him. Yeah, yeah, I know. I'm a dork.

Anyway, don't worry about me being lonely at YMP. In fact, I have too many friends. They continully interupt me during practice. Oh well, the best friend I have there doesn't do stuff like that. We clicked within the first 5 mins of YMP. She's awesome. But not as awesome as you guys. We're close when we're together, but I don't think we'll keep in touch during school.

Anyway, enough of this stuff you guys have no idea about. Can't wait till the bash. I want to start getting ready right now, but that would be foolish. MISS YOU ALL!

Twinkle, twinkle... 3 little bats.

Hello There [17 Jul 2004|10:41pm]
[ mood | accomplished ]

Well hello friends. I feel so bad about not being on LJ for the longest time. I haven't even been able to read my friend's list. YMP has been killing me. I hate the piano. Horrible instrument. ((Sorry to all the piano players out there)) And I've gone from time signatures, to Relative Minor Natural, Harmonic, and Melodic scales. I've been way overwhelmed this week, but somehow I keep getting the work done just in time.

Monday we're having a test on distinguishing diminished, augmented, major, or minor chords when played on the piano. And every kind of interval. We're expected to idnetify an interval just from being played on the piano. WHAT?! You're asking this of the girl who didn't even know about key signatures! Gah, I don't even want to guess at what they're learning in Theory 12! I'm only in Fundamentals B!

Anyway, had my first recital yesterday. Terrible. I was so nervous, I couldn't see straight. I forgot the words to one of my songs. A duet mind you, so there was no covering it up. And I screwed up the tempo on my first song, WHICH I WASN'T SUPPOSED TO SING. -still bitter about that- Oh well, it was my first time. Hopefully the next one will be better.

Well, not much else. Other than meeting more new awesome people. The Gay Will, and Kat's friend, Mel. I was very happy to see Kat last night. We were very crazy. Sandra's bf Brian is awesome, I hope to get to know him better. Yep, that's about it!

Twinkle, twinkle... 5 little bats.

[ mood | ecstatic ]

The HAWT!!1!!1! Everyone, come oogle at my sexah Draco journal. Yes, that's right. It's MINE!


Even through all the hardships(^.^), you still made it for me. You are truly awesome.


Back to my drooling. =D

Twinkle, twinkle... 1 little bat.

[01 Jul 2004|06:54pm]
[ mood | full ]

Wow, I haven't been able to post on this in a long time. My relationship with YMP is bittersweet. I love the education I'm getting. I mean, I've already memorized every key signature, major scale, and the cicle of fifths. But I also don't get to hang out with the coolest people in the world. I really miss being able to lounge in the computer chair and chat with Sandra. The few minutes I get to spend with her, is what I look forward to all day. I also miss Kat everytime she comes down here. It's really irritating me. Between Regionals, practice, homework, more practice, and YMP, I never get to have fun at home. I nearly collapsed from straining myself to get home quickly today. I ran all the way to bart, then all the way home. Anyway, enough of regrets. I started playing a game called Pristontale, but I don't think I'll be playing anymore. Unless a group of people get on. It's just no fun played alone, and it saps the time I get on the computer. So, no more Pristontale for me. BTW: JOIN THE IVORY QUILL! I know you've already gotten this, but there's a reminder. It's really truly wicked. Huge congrats and thank yous to Sandra for making it. Anyway, time for me to catch up on Questionable Content and reply to e-mails. SO LONG!

Twinkle, twinkle...

Sorry [26 May 2004|02:32pm]
[ mood | tired ]

Sorry it's been quite some time since I updated. Well, the hair cut's okay. It made my hair REALLY shiny and silky, but other than that, it doesn't look any different. God, I LOVE the haircut Kat got. She stole my hair stylest(sp?). Plus, Sandra looks stunning with her hair cut. Really, it's gorgeous.

Other than that, Baycon coming up. YAY! I hope I can sleep on the floor in Sandra's room. If not, I'll have to sleep in the car or come home every night. Both of those suck. I'm hoping that I can get a bathing suit today. I really need a new one. I swear my other bathing suit SHRANK! It's tiny, and I know I didn't grow that much.

Soo, I stayed home from school today, WAY too tired. It's unexcusable, so I'm gonna get a B in choir, and have to serve detention. Eh, oh well. I was just too tired to move. Yesterday, I ran three miles. First=6'45, Second=7'16, Third=7'20. I was nearly dead. After school I got my new boots in San Francisco. SO PRETTY! Then I went to Berkeley for my singing lesson. It turns out I have a recital on June 6th. Fun. After THAT, I went to San Jose for skating.

Phewie. I was sooo tired. I think I deserve a restful day. Not that it's gonna be restful with all the HW I have. Not to mention the cleaning I'm gonna do for money for Baycon. GAH!

...someone save me...

Twinkle, twinkle... 1 little bat.

My Life [21 May 2004|05:17pm]
[ mood | excited ]

Went to visit Kat a long time ago. Didn't write about it. Sorry! It was a bunch of fun. Can't really remember anything specific. Music lessons have been going well. I'm learning to play triads so I can warm up at home. More fun. My mum's acting psycho about it. Seriously. She wants me to practice during lunch at school. Erm, that's usually when people EAT!

Anyway, on the bus a while ago, this guy started acting weird. He was talking, then punching the emtpy seat next to him. The bus driver stopped the bus and restrained the man. Someone called the cops, and I just got off the bus since I was close enough to my stop. Creepy! Ugh, I thought he was gonna start after me. Also today, some high kid from my school ran into the street after a basketball. Right in the middle of a huge intersection! Luckily, I pulled him outa the way of a passing car. He just grinned at me and laughed. GOD! Stoopid people!

OH YEAH! Getting hair cut tonight. W00T!

Twinkle, twinkle...

BTW: [06 May 2004|07:14pm]
Does anyone know what an idiom is? It was part of a question on my Cat6. I just guessed, but I'd like to know what it was.
Twinkle, twinkle... 5 little bats.

We are the Music Makers... [06 May 2004|06:25pm]
We are the dreamers of dreams...Sorry, song I have stuck in my head. Okay, lets see if I'll remember to write all the stuff I wanted to write about.

Mon: Nothing much. I think that's when I finally got to see Jay and Silent Bob strike back. Not sure.

Tues: REALLY should have gone skating, but I had my first music lesson. I thought it was going to be horrible, but it actually turned out quite well. Corwin managed to get his cellphone stolen from right in front of him. -glare- We're currently tracking down the kid.

Wed: FINALLY got my birthday sushi lunch. WONDERFUL! God, just thinking about it is making my mouth water. At the end of the meal, I ordered a Tempura Ice-cream. One of the best deserts EVER! So good. I thought "Deep fried ice-cream?", but it was actually very good. And NOT melted. Oh, and I got "Assassin's Quest", the book I've been wanting forever!

Thur: Today! I just finished watching Unusual Suspect with Sandra. God, I love that movie so much. The end just gives me chills. Much homework to do(Project on the Catholic Church. We're supposed to state our oppinions on it[whoo boy]. Also, a project on the Brain. Dull.), but I'm going to reply to Kat's e-mail!

Another competition on Sunday. ARG! I haven't gotten nearly enough practice! Anyway, off to my e-mails and then to finish my current book, "Dalamar the Dark". -sigh- How I love Dragonlance.

OH, before I forget. To clear up any questions on the whole Me/Kat singing thing, I was thinking of doing the concert on Monday. It's a holiday and I'm guessing there won't be any church. -crosses fingers- That would be May 31st for all you lose-o's out there. ^.^
Twinkle, twinkle... 1 little bat.

Not Much [03 May 2004|09:27pm]
MemeCollapse )
Wow, that meme makes me sound kinda ditsy. Oh well. Anyway, I went to Jess' musical on Saturday with Sandra. That was cooler than I thought it was going to be. I have ANOTHER competition coming up on Sunday. OH, and tomorrow is my first music lesson. I'm really nervous about that. Not much else to say.

Quick note to Kat:

At Baycon, my mom was thinking about a concert. You could do a silly song, then I'd do "Momma look sharp"(1776) and then we'd both do Cranes over Heroshima. It'd be like 'Oh I'm happy about this exciting thing that's happening, then you realize what the war's really about. Finally, Cranes over Heroshima acts as a conclusion. It shows the devastation war can bring. I dunno, I think my mom got kinda wild. What do you think?
Twinkle, twinkle... 2 little bats.

It's too hot [26 Apr 2004|04:29pm]
[ mood | happy ]

It's way too hot here. I think I'm going to wilt. GAH!

Well, today was pretty good. Other than the whole heat thing. The only clean shirt I had was a tanktop. Grr. So I had to wear a sweater over it. HOT! Note: Never do that again.

There's this really cute guy at my school who's been eye-candy for a while. He has the coolest hair ever, it's always different colors. He also has hazel eyes. Anyway, he's an 8th grader and I don't have any friends who know him. That's why I just thought of him as eye-candy.

Then today at lunch, he just comes and sits next to me. WHOAH! At first, I thought it was my friend so I was about to say hi when I see "the hair". I blushed so much. Oh god, I look back on that and think of how stupid I must have looked. Then he scooted closer to me to make room for his friend. He just sat there grinning at me. A moment later he got up to go sit with his friends again. Still, that was exciting.

^_^ Heh, I'm done gushing.

OH! And once again, Sandra makes an awesome icon for me. LOOKIE AND MY ICON COOLNESS!

Twinkle, twinkle... 3 little bats.

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