Maybe some of you already knew this but I've just found out..
Sylvester Graham, the guy who invented Graham crackers, was a total religious zealot who believed that to be healthy, one must follow his Graham diet and practice abstinence. He helped popularize the already-existing degeneracy theory, which said that loss of semen weakens a man's body. That's why back in the 19th and early 20th century men were told not to masturbate- because it made them "untrustworthy, unreliable, untruthful and probably even dishonest." (What a Boy Should Know, a handbook written in 1913 by two doctors). Ok, first of all that quote was really redundant. Secondly I'm pretty sure you can't say "probably" and expect people to take you seriously.. well I guess people are dumb but anyway, people back then blamed masturbation for everything, even insanity.
Oh, and then John Harvey Kellogg, the Cornflakes guy, wrote this book about the "hygiene of organic life" that talks about all the crazy diseases you can get from masturbation. Ugh.. stick to breakfast food, big guy.
So.. it's nearly 1:30am, I'm just about done with my paper on monogamy vs. non-monogamy, and I felt the need to write in here.
Sperm donation. Isn't it weird? Doesn't that entail having up to 3 parents? Does the donater have any rights regarding the child? No they waive those rights when they give up their sperm for someone else to benefit from it.. but isn't it interesting, expert commissions in New Zealand and Australia recommend allowing sperm and egg donors to opt in as third legal parents for children. And doesn't it make sense? If you're the child of this type of fertilization, aren't you curious as to whose genes you're carrying? Don't you feel more connected to your "biological" father? It certainly would be a sticky situation.. no pun intended HA.
So anyway, if this phenomenon ever catches on, it'll open the door to lots of interesting things.. *imagine the possibilities*
Found this article in the Journal of Contemporary Ethnography while researching for a paper.. God, I'm so frustrated by society. Why is sexuality taboo? Why can't we do things that don't affect other people in any way? Why do we let other people dictate mores when those people don't represent society as a whole? Why can't anyone see that everything is completely arbitrary and just because it's "not okay" according to one person or one culture doesn't mean it's WRONG? How am I supposed to live a fulfilling life with my right to pursue happiness if what I want (hypothetically) is deemed WRONG causing me to be seen as deviant by society?
"By rejecting conventional social mores, polyamorous women are forced to create their own social roles and examine their sexual relationships. Reflexive action necessitated greater sexual subjectivity and encouraged polyamorous women to shed the limited form of the relationship for one that allowed greater freedom and self-expression.
"Though numerous women in my sample reported feeling empowerment, they simultaneously discussed experiences that left them feeling disempowered in their own relationships or larger, monogamous society through the impact of stigma. Sexuality remains a congested region, and women who challenge it often do so at a cost. The promise of sexual freedom, which theoretically accompanied the sexual revolution beginning in the 1960's, translated into increased sexual freedom for men, but not for women.
"While polyamorous women offered new visions of expanded sexual subjectivity and alternate roles for women, many continued to struggle under the yoke of an androcentric society that demands women's sexuality function in the service of men. Even though they reported various degrees of success in their attempts to create new roles and power dynamics within their own relationships, they continue to live with the impact of stigma attributed by a monogamous society that views their actions as deviant. In both cases, they were unable to completely reform power dynamics in either their relationships or in society at large."
Polyamorous Women, Sexual Subjectivity and Power- Elizabeth Sheff.
Soo my right tonsil hasn't gotten any better. I've been taking antibiotics but they don't actually help the pain.. thankfully I have vicodin left over from my kidney stone.
I feel motivated to write a song. I just want to create something beautiful that I can be proud of. Just don't know where to start.
The other night at work, a 1st grade teacher came up to me and asked if we had any little hammers (stickers, die-cuts, whatever) for her class's father's day project.
"I took a picture of each of the kids holding a hammer, and we're making frames out of popsicle sticks. The frames are going to say 'Daddy's Little Helper' and I wanted some little hammers and tools to decorate the frame."
I tried to remain tactful, but I couldn't help laughing in her face. Then I got a little sad. And we wonder why sexism is so prevalent in society? It's drilled in our heads from the minute we are first brought home to our nursery. Ya know what? even before that. The moment we are discovered to be male or female, in the womb, we are described "so delicate" or "so strong".. And from then on we are subjected to pinks and blues and barbies and hot wheels and hammers and baking.
I was watching that show on MTV, "Cheyenne" about the 15 year old singer/songwriter girl.. and she mentioned the fact that her dad is "not your average briefcase-carrying dad".. he's got long hair and tattoos and a sense of humor. It was just kind of refreshing and inspiring, that there are people who don't fit the mold. Things like that make me really happy. I thought of that when the lady told me about her picture frame idea. Those kids in her class whose parents don't fit the mold.. isn't all she doing just confusing them and making them feel like outsiders? Because I doubt some little first grader is going to feel.. validated or empowered for being different. No.. that doesn't come til angsty teen years.
Anyway, I guess my point is that I salute those who don't fit into their traditional roles. I'm inspired by it and hope not to succomb to doing certain things just because it's expected of me, such as getting married or having kids. The more I think about it, the more I don't want either of those things. But I think I will save that for another journal entry on another day.