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Who am I this time?   
06:27pm 22/09/2006

Currently in the process of making this journal friends only. Could take a while.
I just realized I have less than 100 songs on my Itunes right now. Lame.   
11:58pm 09/09/2006
mood: bored
Step 1: Put your iTunes/Winamp/music-playing device on random.
Step 2: Post a line from the first 20 songs that play, no matter how embarrassing the song.
Step 3: Post and let people guess what song and artist the lines come from.

1. My nights are too lonely to dream, you are never coming back, so it seems

2. Changing my life with the wave of her hand, nobody can deny that there's something there

3. There must be some word today, from my boyfriend who's so far away.

4.  And when we meet again, introduced as friends, please don't let on that you knew me well.

5. She knew him better, better, better.

6. And oh by the way, when the landlord came today, he measured everything.

7. Waits at the window, wearing a face that she keeps in a jar by the door, who is it for?

8. He looked kind of nice and so I said I might take a chance..

9. Close all the windows, but signs on the handles.

10.  She starts to speak, but he walks away as the storm clouds rise.

11. Nothing to kill or die for, and no religion too.

12. Everybody seems to think I'm lazy, I don't mind, I think they're crazy.

13. Our hearts have felt better years.

14. And what do we do with ten baby shoes?

15. Your life's a dime store novel, this town is full of guys like you.

16.  The last time I saw you we had just split in two, You was looking at me, I was looking at you.

17.  How his guts were all suspended in his fingers and how he held them, held them in.

18.  Then I can make sure you wont take advantage of me, capture my heart and set me free.

19. To mark the anniversary of someone I used to be.

20. You buy me the dress I'll be more woman than a man like you can stand.
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So is it just me, or has TCM gotten "hipper"?   
08:32am 09/09/2006
mood: confused
I started to notice it a few months ago, but it may have started much sooner then that. Obviously I'm a nerd and have always thought that TCM was way cool, but now I am pretty sure they are intentionally catering to a more youthful group. For example.. the "Playing this Month" montage looks way more like a rock music video than any of their previous displays. Also, I know it was a long time ago that Ben Mankiewicz joined the network (I used to just refer to him as "annoying goatee man", now I actually know his name) but they are just now giving him his own commericals and segments, and he is definitely much younger and hipper than the alternative (good ole' Robert Osbourne).

Oh, not only that.. But this month, they are having a whole friday (next friday by the way) dedicated to super hip film shorts. And, if I i'm not mistaken, I do believe they are having a foreign film celebration as well.

Am I just super paranoid, or is TCM actually starting to advertise to a younger audience? and if so, is that really a bad thing?
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11:59pm 07/09/2006
  Did you ever hear of a wish sandwich? It's the kind of sandwich were you have two pieces of bread, and wish you had some meat inbetween.

I don't know why that song amuses me so much, but it does.
Always on the outside, of whatever side there was.   
12:22am 02/09/2006
mood: accomplished
I rented movies today for the first time in months. While I was standing in line to check them out this annoying couple around my age were behind me. They were having this discussion about "scary movies" and which was more frightening, The Ring or The Grudge. They ended up picking The Grudge because "The Rings plot was totally stupid and made no sense". It was around that moment that I realized I had finally become everything I ever wanted to be in life. A snide, sarcastic, cynical film snob who thinks they are better than the general population. I know it was never exactly a noble goal, but it was a goal nonetheless, and I have reached it with flying colors. Accomplishment is a fantastic feeling afterall.
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11:00 o' clock I watch the network news.   
12:56am 01/09/2006
mood: amused
So does anyone have the new Bob Dylan album yet? If I ever get a job or have money for any other unexpected reason, I plan on purchasing it.

If it turns out to be really great, I will then be able to anser "Modern Times" if anyone ever asked me in a string of questions "What's your favorite movie, how about album?" Of course I doubt this would ever happen, as people don't usually ask for "favorites" in that order..
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It's gonna be cold, it's gonna be grey, and it's gonna last you for the rest of your life.   
04:13am 29/08/2006
  -Rise and shine, campers, and don't forget your booties 'cause it's cold out there today.
-It's cold out there every day. What is this, Miami Beach?
-Not hardly. So the big question on everybody's lips.
-On their chapped lips
-is, does Phil feel lucky? Punksatawney Phil, thats right wood chuck chuckers its GROUND HOG DAY

-Rise and shine, campers, and don't forget your booties 'cause it's cold out there today.
-It's cold out there every day. What is this, Miami Beach?
-Not hardly. So the big question on everybody's lips.
-On their chapped lips
-is, does Phil feel lucky? Punksatawney Phil, thats right wood chuck chuckers its GROUND HOG DAY

-Rise and shine, campers, and don't forget your booties 'cause it's cold out there today.
-It's cold out there every day. What is this, Miami Beach?
-Not hardly. So the big question on everybody's lips.
-On their chapped lips
-is, does Phil feel lucky? Punksatawney Phil, thats right wood chuck chuckers its GROUND HOG DAY
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I.A.L Diamond   
03:17am 12/08/2006
  I.A.L stood for Interscholastic Algebra Leauge because Diamond was a member when he was in school.

After I read that, all I could do was smile. I am still smiling, three minutes later. I knew there was a reason why I loved that man other than his amazing screen writing and being friends with Billy Wilder. He almost inspires me to one day be good at math, not to just strive for efficiency.

Jesus, the world is a wonderful place when you think about these kinds of things.
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Principia Discordia   
11:17pm 06/08/2006
Best religion ever.


One day Mal-2 asked the messenger spirit Saint Gulik to approach the Goddess and request Her presence for some desperate advice. Shortly afterwards the radio came on by itself, and an ethereal female Voice said YES?

"O! Eris! Blessed Mother of Man! Queen of Chaos! Daughter of Discord! Concubine of Confusion! O! Exquisite Lady, I beseech You to lift a heavy burden from my heart!"


"I am filled with fear and tormented with terrible visions of pain. Everywhere people are hurting one another, the planet is rampant with injustices, whole societies plunder groups of their own people, mothers imprison sons, children perish while brothers war. O, woe."


"But nobody wants it! Everybody hates it."


At which moment She turned herself into an aspirin commercial and left The Polyfather stranded alone with his species.
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Oh god, I could do better than that!   
01:18am 05/08/2006
  Why does every movie ever made about dancing concern people who are really fantastic at dancing? It seems a little unfair and downright biased. I want to make a movie about someone who is terrible at dancing, and despite hours of hard work and montage after montage, never improves. Which will really make it a movie about following your dreams only to find bitter dissapointment, but we will market it as a dance movie anyway!  
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Almost forgot about this..   
12:11am 13/07/2006
  On one of the plane rides back home I sat next to this woman reading celebrity gossip magazines who asked if I wanted one, bored out of my mine after riding planes for around 9 consecutive hours, I did.

One of the stories was about "Lindsay Lohans fabulous Great Gatsby themed birthday party!" does no one see the irony in that? Has Lindsay Lohan read The Great Gatsby? Does she understand it is a tragedy based on the careless, stupid, vain lifestyle she is currently living? Maybe the Olsen Twins can have even more delightful Citizen Kane themed parties.

Oy to the vey.
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I am so smart. s-m-r-t!   
01:08am 09/07/2006
  My AP scores came today, they read as follows:

United States History: 5 (that's right - the highest score possible biotches)

English Language: 4 (that's right - the second highest score possible.. Not quite as cool, but who cares, I knew I did bad on that one and most universities accept 4's and 5's.

Be proud random lj friends, be proud. Or don't. It's your prerogative really.
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Best last day in town EVER!   
01:54am 04/07/2006
  Today we ate at the happiest place on Eart - Sushi Boat. Seriously, everyone there was hilarious. I wish I lived there. After that we went to a psychic shop and had our auras read. I was a pale yellow. I don't see how people who don't believe in god or organized religion can be silly enough to believe in psychics (this means you Laura and Robyn). From there we headed back to downtown Reno, were we lazed about by the river and had mocha at some coffee joint. It was all very idyllic really.

The bus station was interesting and involved us begging change off strangers who somehow thought we were Dickens-style orphans. Some boy also tried bumming cigarettes off of us with the promise of a tune on his flute. Unfortunately for us, we don't smoke. We never learned wether or not his flute playing skills were up to par.

On the walk back from the bus stop we stopped at Kate Smith Elementary (where I went from grades K-2) to swing. After this I felt pretty certain that I had fulfilled any possible nostalgia trips I could possibly hanker for.

We came home to write in the joy journal and make cookies (that came out as pretty hideous brownies to be honest). It is 2:01 now and tommorow I have to be at the airport by 1:00. Ze end.
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Scratch my name on your arm with a fountain pen, this means you really love me.   
09:16pm 02/07/2006
mood: complacent
Went out to Pyramid, set up tent. Ended up spending the night at a "Holiday Inn" in Fallon. Worst nights sleep of my fucking life. You can't feel nothing looking at Pyramid Lake, I tried to, but you just cant. Half an hour of sagebrush and then the whole world is blue. I just don't know what I feel yet. Or what I felt. This was yesterday. Now I'm back in town. Walked over to Shopko to buy some new pens and hair ties. None of this makes any sense.
I planned on stopping after my first million.   
01:58am 26/06/2006
mood: good
I'm in the kind of mood where I just want to sit around watching screwball comedies for days. I personally think they are the best genre of movie ever created. Everyone is witty, charming, and handsome. What more could you ask for in a movie, or in life for that matter? I think I will stop with this rant before I start sounding like Mia Farrow in "The Purple Rose of Cairo".

I hate to say this, I really do.. (but) The Beatles version of "Please, Mr. Postman" SUCKS! Yes, I said it. The Marvelettes make that song amazing. The Beatles, not so much.

Went to Lahontan today. The ride was the best part. The actual lake is too dirty and crowded. I don't think it's nature I hate, it's just the west coast. Sand, heat and sagebrush just aren't my idea of a good time. I feel like I am part of some sick biblical allusion just walking through the desert.

I do realize that these are all random thoughts that don't have much to do with each other. I'm not trying to be too coherent.

My question of the week: Does the Reno/Sparks area have more casinos, or pawn shops? I am leaning towards pawn shops. One day I will actually look through the phone book and find out.

Speaking of pawnshops in Reno, anyone hear about the Darren Mack thing? Pretty nutty.
Love yourself like a cannibal!   
02:44am 25/06/2006
  So for a very late Christmas/Birthday gift my dad gave me The Stranger by Albert Camus. What kind of a gift is that? What does it say? "I don't know you very well, but for some reason I assume you dig French philosophers now." Or "Your world view seems stark and depressing, enjoy!"

I figure I should probably reread it. Maybe I will like it more this time around.

I'm having trouble sleeping at night, so instead I stay up listening to Tom Waits.

I love Sparks, I really do. It is a scuzzy little city in the middle of nowhere, but it is my scuzzy little city in the middle of nowhere, and that makes all the difference.
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05:32pm 24/06/2006
  Forgot to complain about this..

I found the Journals of Virgina Woolf at Dharma books.. 35 dollars. I don't get how every other book in the place can be between 2-14 dollars, but the one I really want is so pricy. It must be limited edition or something. I bought To The Lighthouse instead.

Also, I finally saw "The African Queen" this week. It was one of the only Katharine Herpburn movies I hadn't seen, because it simply wasn't available in Richland. Turns out, Laura owns it. Bliss.
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A figurine hutch, the place wasn't much.   
11:39pm 23/06/2006
  Keeping busy is the ultimate secret to happiness. I always used to wonder how anyone can truly consider themselves an optimist in a world as horrible as this. Now I know why - they aren't really happy, they are just too busy to notice otherwise.

I'm not knocking it either, it's a great way to live. This past week has flown by. I have not once been unhappy. Until tonight. The first night of nothingness.

Maybe it's not keeping busy, maybe it's about not being lonely. No matter how much I hate to admit it, I do enjoy being around other people and need them in some abstract way.

I watched the first half of "No Direction Home" today. Jesus, I want to travel back in time and live in Greenwich village in the 50-60's. (this is one of those egomanical alone kind of thoughts).

I don't want to describe this week in vivid detail or anything.. I just want to say it was fantastic, possibly the best single week I have ever had. Soon enough I will return to my reality, possibly for the better, possibly for the worst.

Remember to keep shinning on, all you crazy diamonds!
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Is there a letter, a letter for me?   
06:42pm 14/06/2006
  I have officially had my first anti-social neurotic episode of the summer. I was supposed to go over to someone's house tonight; watch some bad movies, tell ridiculous jokes and all in all have a good time. A few minutes before I am going to leave I have one of my crazy flashes of misantrhopy and decide it would probably be better if I spent the night alone. I call and give the lamest excuse ever thought up (I have to pack for my trip, sorry.. I completely forgot about it). Jesus. To think, I could probably be having a pretty good time right now. Instead I am home alone, contemplating returning movies to the local Hollywood video.

That reminds me.. What ever happened to the curtained off porno sections of video-rental stores? Remember when you were a little kid and you always wondered what was behind those curtains? I guess all of these large franchise stores (Hollywood, Blockbuster, ETC.) all have policies against selling pornography. Or maybe people don't even have to rent porn anymore with all of the internet porn available.

I guess I kind of miss the prospect of open profanity. One thing about Sparks I never thought I would miss.. Cheesy commericals for sex shops. It's weird living in a town that has some standards of "decency".
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It's a dirty story of a dirty man.   
01:50am 14/06/2006
mood: okay
At night I go for a little walk into the apartment building next to this one. There is a small, apartment building playground. The kind devoid of any real fun, intended purely to lure unsuspected children into being okay with moving into such a dump of an apartment complex to begin with.

I swing innocently enough and make minute connections between things that don't really matter to begin with. I think up plots and strings of dialog for short stories and scripts I will never actually write and I laugh as familiar gags and punchlines fill my head.

I go home and watch hours of TV. People think TV is terrible, but it's really the final answer to the equation of free time in an affluent society. We don't have to go out everyday and hunt our food, tend our gardens, ensure our safety. We perform; five days a week, eight hours a day as wheels in a cog. We aren't meant to be individuals, we are meant to be preprogrammed. So is TV.

Besides, Conan is hilarious.
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