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I am the night

it's cold when you're alone




December 30th, 2016



I had a dream about you last night. You strangely grew to be taller than me. You had a child. You were happy. Your hair was pulled back. So many things about you were different than I remember. But your glasses were the same.

When I think of what a best friend should be, I think of you.

September 6th, 2015

Fuck dream dictionaries

I keep dreaming about the person who hurt me most. About how we are friends and hang out and laugh. Everything is as it is now with the exception that we are the best of friends like we were before he ripped my heart out and then said he wanted this only to rip my heart out again. The human brain is bullshit.

September 9th, 2014

trying to grow up is hard


Hatred is a real feeling. A really hard feeling to deal with. I hate him. I am genuinely upset that he's happy. He doesn't deserve this after what he put me through. I am angry that karma has not bitten him in the ass for what he did. It's not fair. Maybe karma is on her way, but taking her sweet ass time. I don't know. I'm just bitter.

April 15th, 2014

And I never forgive myself for any mistakes I've made. I try to learn from them 100%. Not to say that always happens, but I TRY.

I will always wonder "what if?"

January 4th, 2013

(no subject)


Just let me do what I want. Let me be who I want to be. Let me have my own time. Let me ridicule my own art. Let me be opinionated about myself and everything else. Let me have my own rule book, my own morals.

I am not you. I strive for imperfect perfection. I am joyful. I am lonely in a crowded room. But I am me, through and through. And I will not let you change me. I am wild. I am dangerous. I am spontaneously mischievous. I am goofy. I am self-sacrificing. I am a lover not a fighter, but I spit a mean game.

Let me be the person I am best at being, the girl everyone falls in love with, the one some love to hate. Let me learn from my own mistakes without your judgement. Let me open up at my own pace.

You wonder why I'm so introverted, but never ask why it's only around you. Perhaps, you should look inward. Maybe I don't need to change, maybe it's you.

Posted via LiveJournal app for iPhone.

November 11th, 2012

This one's a doozie


Who do you talk to when you lose your best friend? What do you do when you don't have your person anymore? Is it possible to find another one?

Posted via LiveJournal app for iPhone.

September 18th, 2012



Today I learned that the little kindergarten girl I mentored when I was a sixth grader has a very new baby boy. I feel like I let her down.

Posted via LiveJournal app for iPhone.

September 11th, 2012

Oh well


I get the feeling I'll never be able to stop talking to you, let alone stop loving you. We're not good for each other. Since when has that stopped either of us. I feel pretty bad about this.

Posted via LiveJournal app for iPhone.

August 15th, 2012

I feel like when you've messed up this much you don't leave things be; You fix them.

But that's just me.

And I'm not everyone.

July 24th, 2012

Growing up is really strange. I've been an adult in the law's eyes for a few years now, but I never really saw myself as an adult until today. I've been through a lot of turmoil the last few years. I've fallen out of love. I've fallen back in love. I've had my heart broken; and I've had it put back together. I guess the point I'm trying to make is that being an adult means knowing what makes you who you are. I'm the person I am because of what I've seen and been through; and I'm grateful for all of it. Every single bit of it.
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