_demonsblade_ (_demonsblade_) wrote,

296 Ways to Seduce a Teacher: Ch. 1

Title: 296 Ways to Seduce a Teacher
Author: _demonsblade_
Pairing: Sirius/Remus
Rating: R
Genre: AU, romance, drama, angst, fluff, humor
Warning: Slash, mild chanslash, boy/man snogging, boy/man sex
Spoilers: none
Disclaimer: All characters © J.K. Rowling

Summary: AU. Remus has been hired to tutor the Black heir, Sirius. But it seems Sirius has a few things to teach him, as well. Can this possibly the start of a friendship...or something more? And what will happen if the Blacks find out?

This was the tutor? Why, he couldn’t be more than twenty! What were his parents thinking? Sirius suddenly wondered whether his parents had finally gone off the deep end.

“I don’t know about this, Lily.” Remus looked up at the red-haired girl sitting across from him. Her hands were cupped around a steaming mug of coffee. Although it was barely September, there was already a cutting winter chill in the air.

“Remus, it’ll be fine. They won’t find out.”

He looked away from the hypnotic bottle-green eyes, choosing instead to stare unseeingly at the traffic beside the sidewalk café where they sat. A car honked loudly and pedestrians passed by without a glance. It was a Muggle café in London, where Remus was staying because of a job interview. Lily was here on Order business.

“I can’t lie to them, Lily. Not only is it illegal, but it’s detrimental to my self-imposed integrity.” He said the last part with an air of playful haughtiness that made his companion’s eyes sparkle with amusement.

“It won’t be lying,” she said firmly. “It’ll be…not quite telling them the entire truth. And besides, it’s not illegal. They’re not even allowed to ask if you’re a pureblood or not. You have every right to protect your privacy.”

“But they’re the Blacks, Lil! ‘The noble and most ancient house of Black.’ They’re the one of the most selective pureblood families in England.”

“They’re a bunch of pompous gits with sticks up their arses, you mean.”


“What? It’s true.” She smirked and took a gulp of her coffee. “And besides, it’s not like they’ll find out your mother’s a Muggle.”

“I wouldn’t be surprised if they ran extensive background checks on their gardener. I’m going to be tutoring their oldest son. They’ll find out.”

“The Lupins are one of the oldest pureblood families in England. Well, up until your father married your mother. But not many people know about that, do they?”

“No,” he consented with a sigh. “But what am I going to tell them about my being a werewolf? They’re the kind of people that think all Muggles and magical creatures should be shot, and they make their opinions widely known.”

“Of course. Don’t you see, Remus? It’s perfect. They make no secret of the fact that they detest anyone who’s not a pureblooded human wizard or witch. I’m sure they’re hoping their reputation will act as a sort of filtering device in and of itself.”

“So you’re saying that they’ll take it for granted that anyone who applies for the position will be human and pureblooded?” Remus asked skeptically. Despite himself, the hard lump in his throat lightened. “Everyone else will be scared away by the nefarious Black reputation?”

Lily nodded eagerly. “So they might not even fuss too much with questions unless they have a reason to doubt that you aren’t pureblooded or human.”

“I suppose you’re right, Lily,” Remus sighed, downing the contents from his cup. “And in any case, I don’t think I’ll be able to say no to Dumbledore.”

“Why did Dumbledore ask you to take this job, anyway?” Lily asked, cocking her head in a gesture of curiosity.

“Well, apparently this kid I’m supposed to be teaching, Sirius Black, shows a lot of potential. In fact he’s quite the genius according to Dumbledore. Very rebellious, a true prankster, but a good heart.”

Lily nodded sagely, leaning back in her chair. “I can see why he’d be the black sheep in the family.” She smirked, adding, “No pun intended.”

“Do you remember Sirius Black? He must have been—what? Five years below us?”

“Six,” she corrected. “Always ran around with James Potter and that Pettigrew boy.”

“Wasn’t Potter a year above Black?”

“Yes, but best friends like that I’d never seen. You’d think they were twins joined at the hip.”

“True. But now Black’s family have pulled him out of Hogwarts and want to home school him.”

“Dumbledore must be afraid that they’ll school him in the Dark Arts,” Lily mused aloud.

“Exactly. That’s why he asked me to apply for the position,” said Remus. “Plus I bet he’s hoping I’ll be able to spy on the Blacks, make sure they don’t get it in their heads to join Voldemort’s ranks.”

“I say it’s only a matter of time. The Blacks have always been chummy with the Malfoys, and they’re right in Voldemort’s inner circle.” Lily leaned closer and dropped her voice. “I heard their son has already taken the initiation.”

“Lucius? I’m not surprised.”

“He was always an arrogant prick in school. I can see him running to the biggest bully in the playground.”

“I just hope Dumbledore’s right about this Sirius Black,” said Remus thoughtfully.

“Why did they pull him out of school, anyway?”

“No one knows for sure. But Dumbledore suspects they had two reasons. Sirius was supposedly consorting with Muggle-borns and half-breeds. You can imagine how that went down with the Blacks. But Dumbledore also thinks that they may have plans of turning this kid into a Death Eater. They’ve sent their youngest, Regulus, to Durmstrang.”

Lily raised an eyebrow. “Then why not send Sirius, as well?”

Remus shrugged. “You and I can only guess.”

“When are you meeting them?”

Remus glanced at his watch. “In about two hours.”

“You’ve already met them once, right?”

“Yeah. This time they want to finalize the job offer. And I’m meeting Sirius for the first time.” He stood up reluctantly. “I better get going, Lily. I want to go back to my flat and get ready. Must make a good impression.”

Lily stood as well and weaved around the table to give him a quick hug.

“Good luck, Remus. I have a feeling you’ll need it.”


Sirius stood in front of the ornate full-length mirror in his room, smoothing out the microscopic creases in his starched white shirt and gray pants. He grabbed the green tie lying on his bed and tied it around his neck, cursing whatever house elf had picked out his outfit for tonight. His garb screamed ‘Slytherin,’ and saying that it made him uncomfortable would be quite the understatement.

A soft knock at his door interrupted him.

“Yes?” he called.

The knarled House Elf Kreacher entered and bowed low. “The young master’s presence is wanted in the sitting room,” said the elf, a hard edge to this otherwise polite statement. He muttered something incomprehensible before adding, “The new tutor is expected to arrive at four.”

“I’ll be right down.”

Kreacher bowed again and let himself out.

Sirius sighed and flopped down on his bed. The room was illuminated in the afternoon light filtering in from the bay window. The walls were covered in dark cherry wood paneling, making the room seem smaller and darker than it really was. The furniture was flamboyant and altogether stuffy, in Sirius’s opinion. Everything was spotlessly clean, courtesy of the House Elves. It was quite unnerving to Sirius, who reflected longingly of his dormitory back at Hogwarts.

The thought of his former school caused a lump to form in his throat. Spending the summer here had been difficult enough. At least he had had the promise of going back to his real home at the end of the ordeal. Now even that dream was crushed.

Fear pricked his skin. What would happen to him? Would he ever see his friends again? James and Peter had meant the world to him. Now he faced a year—and maybe a lifetime—without them. His parents had confiscated his owl and had warded the house against allowing unknown owls to deliver their mail. He was a prisoner in his own house, forbidden to leave without the company of his parents or their friends.

Stupid, narrow-minded bitch, he cursed his mother in his mind. I hope she burns in a thousand hells for what she’s done. Taking me away from the only real family I’ve ever had. Destroying the only relationship that offered me love and acceptance.

That train of thought only served to make his eyes burn with tears that he knew he would not shed.

It wasn’t fair. Why did it have to happen to him? Why not Regulus? Or Bellatrix? The gods knew they certainly deserved everything he was going through.

Sirius let out a sigh and stood up, giving himself one last look in the mirror before making his way downstairs to the sitting room.

He wasn’t giving up without a fight.

Sirius entered the sitting room to find his father sitting stiffly in an armchair by the fire and his mother lounging on the couch. They were both dressed in stuffy, professional robes. His entrance caused both to turn towards him, but otherwise they gave no other indication of his presence.

“Hello Father. Hello Mother,” he said in the polite monotone he had always adopted around them. If he was going to have to stay here until he turned seventeen, he didn’t want to upset them any further than he had. And besides, he knew his parents—especially his mother—could hear the contempt in his voice regardless of his tone.

“Sit,” his mother commanded coldly.

Sirius repressed the flare of anger in his stomach and schooled his face into a careful mask of neutrality. He chose the seat farthest away from his parents—on the black, leather loveseat—and perched on the edge.

“The tutor will be Apparating here in a few minutes,” his father said, not bothering to even look at him. “I expect you to behave. He will be teaching you for the next two years. I don’t want him getting any wind of your…abnormality.” He finally looked at Sirius, fixing him with a piercing glare. “Understand?”

“Yes, sir,” Sirius mumbled, keeping his eyes on his knees. That prick, he fumed. Abnormality, my ass! There’s nothing wrong with it. He wouldn’t have even cared had I not been the heir.

Sirius smiled to himself as he pictured his parents being tortured in all manner of different ways. Not that he’d act upon those ideas, of course. As insufferable as they might be, they were still his parents, and—to his horror—he still cared for them. No, it was just fun to construct their demise in his imagination. It relaxed him. He was currently working out an episode involving his mother and a medieval Catherine wheel when his thoughts were interrupted by the loud, clamoring doorbell.

A few seconds later, a young man followed Kreacher into the sitting room, smiling politely. His tawny hair was pulled back into a small ponytail. He was dressed in simple yet professional black robes. In the sunlight pouring in from the window, Sirius could see that his face was handsome, if somewhat tired.

This was the tutor? Why, he couldn’t be more than twenty! What were his parents thinking? Sirius suddenly wondered whether his parents had finally gone off the deep end. But then the realization struck him. If his mother had hired this man, it must mean that he was cruel, dull, or both. What if he was a Death Eater?

“Hello, Mr. Black,” said the man, moving toward his father with his hand outstretched. “Mrs. Black,” he turned to his mother. “It’s a pleasure to see you again.” He shook hands with both adults, finally turning toward Sirius.

“This is Sirius,” said his mother distastefully, waving her hand vaguely in his direction. Sirius finally looked up at the man, who caught his gaze and held it.

“Sirius, this is Professor Remus Lupin. He will be your tutor for the next two years.”

Lupin smiled. “It’s nice to meet you, Sirius.” He walked toward Sirius and held out a hand.

“The pleasure’s all mine,” said Sirius automatically. He stood and accepted Lupin’s hand, careful to keep his façade of haughty detachment. Lupin seemed genuine enough, but Sirius was not going to let his guard down. Knowing his mother, it was wise to not show too much trust toward anyone she liked. And she seemed to like this mysterious tutor. That in and of itself put Sirius on edge.

Lupin seated himself on the other end of the loveseat and began to discuss the finer details of his employment with his parents. Sirius tuned them out, reflecting on the irony of it all. Here were his parents, pulling him out of school because of his supposedly “abnormal” attraction toward other boys. And then they hire a tutor who was barely older than Sirius and who, presently, was seated on a loveseat with him. Sirius smirked. He doubted whether his parents would find it funny if they cottoned on to the subtle irony of the situation, and that made it all the more comical.

He jerked out of his musings at the sound of his name.

“Sirius, why don’t you show Professor Lupin the study where you’ll be taking your lessons?” his father said, a trace of warning in his voice.

“Yes, sir,” Sirius said dully, standing. He turned back toward the young man. “Follow me, Professor.”

They made their way up the stairs to the third floor and entered the mahogany-paneled room that was the study. A built-in bookcase ran all around the top half of the walls, full to bursting with fat, leather-bound volumes that Sirius had not been allowed to touch for most of his life. The furniture consisted mostly of a couch and coffee table by the fireplace, an armchair by the window, a desk, and four chairs.

Lupin was entranced by the walls of books and he lightly traced his hands over the spines.

“I’d be careful if I were you, Professor,” said Sirius. “Some of those books tend to bite.”

Lupin offered him a small smile, one that crinkled the corners of his eyes. He also had, Sirius noticed, a tiny dimple in his left cheek that was revealed only when he smiled. It was quite an endearing trait.

Wait—did I just think he was endearing? He’s a Death Eater, Sirius told himself firmly. He can’t be trusted, no matter how cute he may look.

Cute? Oh, gods. How am I going to get through this?

“Thanks for the warning, Sirius,” said Lupin. “Tell me, what subjects do you enjoy?”


Lupin turned to face him, looking into his eyes in a way that left Sirius feeling very unnerved. “I asked you what subjects you enjoy. Knowing that will help me set up a lesson plan.”

“Oh, right.” Sirius rubbed his neck, something he tended to do when he was nervous. “Well, my favorite class is Defense Against the Dark Arts. I’ve always liked Transfiguration. And Charms isn’t too bad, either.” Sirius thought for a moment. “I’m pretty good at Potions and Care of Magical Creatures. Divination’s a load of dragon dung, but Arithmancy is interesting. History of Magic might be interesting if it hadn’t been taught by old Binns. And I’ve never taken Ancient Runes, so I don’t know about that.” Sirius left out the fact that he had taken Muggle Studies. The subject had caused a huge row between him and his mother. He didn’t plan on repeating that particular incident.

Lupin nodded, looking thoughtful. “Your parents asked me to teach you all the subjects you took in your fifth year—N.E.W.T. level, of course. They also want me to teach you Ministry law and classical literature. But if there is something else you would like to learn, just tell me and I’ll see what I can do.”

The offer took Sirius off guard, and he simply stared at his new tutor, completely at a loss for words. His mind was suggesting all sorts of hidden meanings to that last statement.

Sirius shook himself fiercely. If he was going to learn from this man for the next year, he couldn’t start if off by thinking dirty thoughts about him.

“Are you all right, Sirius?” Lupin gave him a look of concern.

“Fine,” Sirius croaked, his mouth suddenly parched. “Shall we go back to the sitting room?”

Lupin nodded and followed him out. Sirius felt giddy, and he sternly scolded himself for it.

He’s a Death Eater, he repeated in his mind over and over like a mantra. He’s a bloody Death Eater who’s going to make your life hell. He’s Mother’s little puppet and he’s going to teach you the Dark Arts and try to convince you to join Voldemort.

Sirius felt a little better. He was just going to have to be careful, was all. Yes, that was it. He’d keep his distance and adopt his cold mask of indifference around his teacher. This silly little crush—or whatever it was—would go away soon enough, once this Lupin showed his true colors.


White sunlight bounded in from the window, announcing the dawn of morning. Remus stirred under the covers and pulled the sheets over his head to block out the offending sunlight. He shut his eyes tight in a vain attempt to fall back into the comforting arms of oblivion. Unfortunately for him, his mind was already racing through its paces of nervous anticipation as it prepared itself for the day ahead. His first day of work.

Remus had spent the better part of the last two days putting together lesson plans. He was never one to shirk off work. And besides, Dumbledore was counting on him. Though he had to admit, he couldn’t see why. Sirius Black seemed to be spoiled, conceited, arrogant, and proud—all traits the Blacks were infamous for. The expression of frigid apathy on the boy’s face had been unsettling to say the least.

Well, at least I’m getting paid handsomely for this.

Nevertheless, Remus resolved to work on getting Sirius to drop that mask—if the attitude was indeed a mask—around him. Perhaps the boy wouldn’t be so bad once they came to trust each other.

And with that encouraging thought, Remus went about preparing for his day.

Chapter 2

Tags: 296 ways to seduce a teacher, fanfiction, sirius/remus, slash
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