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Feb. 17th, 2011

Fishbowl didn't really budge after doing a soapcap with 20 volume developer and the bleach I usually use. Lightened my roots a lot, lightened the fishbowl a little but I was trying to remove it, at least from the top of my hair. I'm going to see if my mom might bleach it again for me, the roots don't need more lightening but maybe a straight bleach will take the rest of the blue out. I don't know.

was feeling on top of the world and what they must refer to as "invincible" when they get too old to remember what that energy is like
until I found out we are putting down the family dog today
I don't know how I feel now

Two things I hate: Instant messaging conversations initiated by someone else seemingly for a purpose but never go anywhere

group pictures that you aren't in but were there to witness the group taking the picture

Leigh cancelled on me. I'm left kind of scratching my head wondering if I will have another model or if I'll have to change things and do something like 3 images of each model instead of 2. I know the fact that I'm even shooting now is extremely last minute but I'm not sure what else to do. I had been stoked because I had booked everybody that I wanted. Now I'm kinda screwed =/
I could also do images of a dude. Ha.

I'm still doing that "I get extremely exhausted at night" thing. It's like being up with x amount of hours while it's dark makes me tired. I really would like a twix right now.

I took my final. positive that I passed, not sure which grade I Got. God I hope i'm not getting sick.

Aug. 7th, 2010

I'm so resentful.


Processed my first roll of film at home, which I am counting as a technical victory because the pictures did not come out well. But I don't give a FUCK, I saw images on the film so it counts.
I write Jeff and tell him that I couldn't understand what I'd done wrong except perhaps underexposing the film. I explained that I followed the directions for the developer right up to combining the two parts and he sends back a message saying DON'T DO THAT YOU SHOULD NEVER DO THAT. So I guess that was what went wrong and I am going to try again today.

The sink in the garage is completely stopped up with about 10 gallons of water and exhausted chemicals sitting in it. Yaaaay. Oh well. It was a nice effort on my father's part.

I'm really excited and I can't wait to start printing, as soon as I figure out how to hook up a power source or FIND the fucking power source to the enlargers, which I have cleverly misplaced somewhere appearantly outside my house.

That's all.
Oh please people, grow the fuck up.
If you're going to leave a tasteless joke on my facebook page, be prepared for me to point out that you're not funny. You're putting yourself out there on my fucking page, it's my page.

Don't pussy out and delete it when I say I don't think it's funny, and then leave a self-righteous post about how great you are by expressing yourself.

This is the second time I've really had a day interrupted because people think I take myself too seriously on social networking sites. I'm sorry, did I ask you to make a joke about Jews? No. You decided to go there, so you can't take it back when I reckon that it may as well be clever if you're going to go there.

I say leave it up there and allow people to decide. Or just DON'T LEAVE RETARDED COMMENTS ON MY STATUS.

I'm not offended that you think the holocaust is funny. I can just make it a lot funnier than you.
I'm feeling very optomistic about the future.
Oh for fucks sake, really
people who do not have what you are ISO in lushswaps they need to NOT FUCKING RESPOND

I don't fucking care that the chat party might still be going. I don't fucking care. I just need a fucking bottle of comforter shower gel.

A few honest thoughts

1: I could only snoop for about 5 minutes on Jen's page trying to figure out how long she'd been in a relationship before I realized I really don't give a shit and clicked away.

2: I don't really have the dedication to really drum up the views on my photos but I so badly want them to get massive exposure. It's easy to be on flickr for 2 hours a couple times a week, but I can't do it every day the way I would need to in order to.. I don't know, make people notice? If I have to get people to notice, is it bad photography?

3: I'm getting caught up in Flickr, wanting to call these people on the phone or see them in person to correct them on their posing and to tell them, "Oh you are so beautiful you can do sooo much more" than just giving that one fucking face. Over. And over. Mostly the 17 year olds who are barely old enough to be sexy. Or just straight up not old enough.
It kinda freaks me out that kids that young are plastering their faces everywhere.

4: I'm so fucking tired of the "professional" photographers in Albuquerque. You are not fucking professional. I might seriously vomit if I saw you exchange prints for paper money. I might freak out. The shit you put up could be replicated by my 3 year old nephew. You do not do art. You do not understand what it means to have a "finished" product. You do not know that harsh sunlight looks like ass. You do not know the rule of thirds. I'm so fucking furious that these people call themselves a "Fine art studio". I'm sorry, since when did an 18mm focal legnth in afternoon sun with no fill light become fine art?
Fuck you guys. Calling yourselves professional makes the learning community feel insulted, and like I should just buy a $2000 camera, call myself a fine art studio and start making money from my kit lens.