This journal is friends only. Yeah, my life may not be overly exciting, but I'd like to know who's reading about it.
Under the cut is just a few things that makes me...well, me.
( Collapse ) So, if you would like to read this journal (for reasons of your own), then just leave a comment to be added. If I find you to be interesting, or if we have some common interests...then more than likely I'll add you back.
If you don't like what I've written or have listed as an interest -
I just want to sleep for days and days. I worked a bit over 20 hours in the last two days. It's been a bit crazy at work. I put in an 8 hour shift today. So I'm a little happy about that. Not really looking forward to tomorrow. I'm not even looking forward to next week. I get to work 6 days straight next week, but the hours will be shorter(yeah, right). There's so much I want to bitch about right now, but I won't.
So for some reason I was going through my old journal and came across this:
I have so much to say. So many emotions to express. And yet no words flow through my lips. No feelings take residence in my face. What's a girl to do when she's caught up in the game? But what game is she caught up in? The game of love? The game of life? Or the game of just trying to survive in a ruthless world?
Running. Hiding. Lost. Scared. Weak. Useless.
The thick woods of your mind is no place to use a fortress to protect yourself from the uncaring world. You'll get so caught up in hiding and protecting yourself, that you'll forget those who actually care about you. You'll actually miss out on someone who might actually care about you. But you don't care. You just want to protect yourself from future hurt. But will suffer from future hurt? How can you be sure? You can't. And that's what makes it so scary.
Paper cut. Tiny incision. Broken bones. Twisted limbs.
The heart still pumps and beats. But the blood has ceased to flow from your coldless heart. What will you do when the blood is no longer there to keep you warm at night? Your heart turns to stone - can you feel it? Can you feel anything at all as you take the razor blade and drive it deeper in your skin?
Run and hide. Twist your ankle and fall down. Don't look now he's right behind.
Well I'm currently enjoying my day off. I go back to work tomorrow. Unfortunately I hate working in the kitchen. Correction I hate working in the Aqua Star kitchen. Maybe if I was working at the Club House Grille or Banquets, maybe I'd enjoy my job. All of last week I had to be at work at 4:30am. WTF?!? Never again.
On the upside, I get my first paycheck this friday.