_consume_ (_consume_) wrote,

Yamanashi War Porn Avalanche

This is going to be a chore just to cut and paste all the image links, so commentary may be sparse. Suffice to say I went to another WWII re-enactment called 'Winter Front' in the shadow of Fuji, and learned first hand that 7-11 Vodka and machine gun fire blend in to a fine cocktail of PURE HELLISH TORMENT.

This is probably the only country in the First World where you could sport this trunk adornment and not be keyed.

This is the dividend of sixty years of peace. That actually applies on more than one level, this entire absurd reenactment phenomenon could not exist in any other than this island of security amidst the roiling storm of madness that is the rest of the damn world. The notion of making a childish game of war must seem so crass to those who have actually experienced it. While this may not be exactly the freedom our grandfathers had in mind, I think they would want us to live happily and carefree, and so here we are.

Note festive holiday decorations for that period feel.

These feldgendarmerie were all ready to jack my shit up because I was in a non-regulation modern Bundeswehr overcoat. It was cold and I was still too sober not to feel it. I made some dismissive comments about REMFs in a sinister tone of voice and fingered my MP until they went away:P

Ha, that reminds me of an amusing incident. When I asked why a man in a Luftwaffe fliegerbluse was wearing an SS camo smock over it, he replied that he was a member of the Hermann Goering Fallschirmpanzer Division, which employed that strange uniform combination [the notion of a parachute panzer division is funny enough on it's own]. He employed the common abbreviation of "HG Division". "HG" also happens to be a common abbreviation for one of Japan's more notorious "entertainers". I quickly replied with a vigorous "Fooooooooo!" to general amusement.

OK, in case there was any doubt that Japan is the nerdiest country on Earth, here we have some Italian Bersaglieri mountain infantry. These same guys were Blackshirt Fascist militia at the last event. Simply incredible. Here are nerds so dedicated they form a fixation on the crappiest major power of the war. But such style!

Not pictured: the kubelwagen's CD player and GPS navigation system. It was all very period, 1940's stuff though, in order to uplink with the satellite you had to wind a hand crank for a few minutes.

FUCKING CARDBOARD SDKFZ 251/1 HALFTRACK OMGWTF. Built on top of a kitbuilt kubelwagen, no less. I wouldn't be surprised if that SS license plate is lifted from period documents straight from the Hanomag plant. Compare and contrast with the genuine article:

Perhaps a little short on shrapnel protection...but it is stylish.

That cardboard box absent-mindedly left in the background doesn't break kayfabe because it is an uh, Luftwaffe cardboard box adorned with the little known Jagdgeschwader 88 "Japanese Green Tea 12x300mL bottles" insignia. Yeah, thats it.

Officer's meeting the night before.

Here is my view of the world after a mickey of cheap vodka and having approximately 500 beers and cups of wine pushed in my hand by everyone. I am the first foreigner ever to take part in these events and I'm still something of a celebrity. Certainly not on account of my marksmanship or ability to hold my alcohol.

THE AFTERMATH. I think I'm under there somewhere. I woke up to a radiant universe of frozen stabbing pain, covered in my own blood from where I fell and cut myself somehow, while the guy on the right here shouted 'Antretten!' at me with an Osaka accent.

Running American M3 Halftrack. Minus .50 cal, but otherwise still kicking your ass 60 years after the fact. To this day I regret we did not go for a beer run in it.

We promptly captured it and put it to good use compensating for the inherent tactical immobility of parachute troops once deployed.

But here's the real champion:

10.5 cm leFH 18(Sf) auf Geschützwagen Hotchkiss H39 (f)

[105mm light field howitzer type 18 {self-propelled} on French Hotchkiss H39 Weapon Carrier]

And the real steel:

The only difference?

Yeah, it is about half the size of the real thing. But just as ferocious! Chibi Self-propelled assault gun! Complete with pyro-shooting main armament and coaxial machine gun!

This converted agricultural tractor will swallow your ass whole. I can only imagine the looks the proud owners must get driving around with that thing on a trailer, not even covered with a tarp. Oh, wait, this is Japan, old grannies and three year old kids probably wouldn't even bat an eye. Hell, if that's the strangest thing they saw all day, they'd probably be disappointed.

It attracted a lot of fire so using it for cover was probably not the wisest choice, but fighting in it's considerable shadow was psychologically reassuring, and it's a fool who looks for logic in the chambers of the human heart.


Please to be noticing homemade Vickers MG and Dutch Partisans. This was an Operation Market Garden themed event so we had the 9th and 10th SS, a whole platoon of FJ, British XXX Corps, and some random Yanks. A few smartasses showed up in Soviet uniform too but who were we to refuse them, clearly history has no place in an event as goofy as this.

Go Go Fallschirmjager!

We had just been dropped off and were preparing to go in to position. Apparently I was quite skilled at taking pictures of people's backs that weekend.

Some Tommies. The officer in the front was awesome, all shouting 'chaaaaaaarge' with that Eton accent. They charged, singing in to the fire.

I was gripped in a vice of a hangover like the forges of Vulcan himself at this point and all I wanted to do was crawl down that barrel and die. Sadly, my head didn't fit. If it was a Sturmtiger with the 38cm naval depth charge launcher I could have done it easily.

Some of the terrain we would be fighting over. Can't match the soaring mountain spires of craggy Holland, alas.

We had a virtual understrength Fallschirmjager platoon there complete with MG42s and panzershreks, it was awesome. Of course, we promptly got scattered all over the terrain in twos and threes because we lack all discipline, but at least we looked smart on parade.

The organizer of the event. He runs Sam's Militaria in Ikebukuro and is King Nerd Von Der Sceeeeeeen.

On the road again. Is that SS dot camo perfect for this terrain or what?

Hauptsturmfuhrer Nakama conducts his O-group. Those uniforms make me show my O-face.

Be vewwy vewwy quiet. I'm hunting Amis.

I don't think thats a regulation Waffen-SS haircut. Whatever, as if we would complain if chicks showed up to a sausage party event like this in any sort of attire at all. All in all there was a good ten women or so, which is a feat.

Now, a story in pictures:

Generally not a good idea to execute prisoners when the war correspondent is around.

And to the victor go the spoils.

Must be disconcerting when your enemy has small arms 20 years in advance of yours. I guess when you have more artillery and CAS than god like Americans do, such petty distinctions fade to insignificance.

At the end they had this insane staged combat replicating scenes from 'A Bridge Too Far', complete with a little steel tubing 'bridge' to charge back and forth over while people threw smoke bombs and firecrackers at you.

The All-Americans from Saitama go in to action against the Nijmegen bridge.

While the SS-Hohenstauffen and elements of 1.Fallschirm-Armee stand to arms to meet them. There was a moment of perfection at the end when the allies finally pushed us off the bridge and ran up to this tent set up nearby, with a pudgy guy in a Colonel's uniform sitting by a radio. He shouted some Japanese equivalent of 'you'll never take me alive' and shot himself with his luger. Fucking brilliant.

Somehow yanks manage to exude this aura of arrogance even when they aren't American:P

I still can't tell if the one on the left is in drag or not. Regardless, pictures with these two were in high demand.

My head is just visible there behind the two guys in blue fliegerbluse.

Recruiting standards in the Home Guard have slipped a bit in recent years.

And that was that.
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