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Life's Not a War [entries|friends|calendar]

[ website | So Automatic ]
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[02 Oct 2004|06:24pm]

If you still wanna be my friend, add it.
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[02 Oct 2004|01:27pm]
You know what?

I'm starting another new journal.

Because you know what?
I feel like starting over.
I dont know if it's just the state of mind I'm in today, but I think I'm starting a new chapter in my life.
I know I do this a lot.
This journal didnt last very long.
But whatever, if you love me, you can deal with this shit.

Starting highschool.
Not close to my old friends anymore.
I just feel different in a lot of ways.
And you guys havent heard about it because I havent really been updating.
Because I'm sick of this journal.
I just feel different.

I'll let you know when I have the new LJ up and running.
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[02 Oct 2004|01:24pm]
I dont update that much anymore.

But I'm gonna try to more often.

Dont someone wanna make me a cool layout?
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YES YES YES! [25 Sep 2004|01:24pm]
Casualties on Teusday! With OCS! Buying my tickets soon!
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[14 Sep 2004|05:38pm]
See all those people on the ground
Wasting time
I try to hold it all inside
But just for tonight
The top of the world
Sitting here wishing
The things I've become
That something is missing
Maybe I...
But what do I know

And now it seems that i have found
Nothing at all
I want to hear your voice out loud
Slow it down
Without it all
I'm choking on nothing
It's clear in my head
And I'm screaming for something
Knowing nothing is better than knowing at all

4 comments|post comment

[06 Sep 2004|10:04pm]
Okay, I'm better now.
Because you guys obviously care.

Aaaaaaaaand, we have a band. Me, Tyler, this dude Mike, and some guy named Fred. LMAO. We'll be hXc, yo.

I hate school.
I hate having no friends.
*Is feeling sorry for self*
6 comments|post comment

[06 Sep 2004|05:32pm]
Just got back from camping.

I'm feeling very alone right now.

And I'm just very confused about myself, and where I fit into...well, anything. I don't think I do. I don't think I even fit in with the kids who don't fit in. I dunno. I just feel like I don't really belong to anything or anyone.
I have no niche.

I guess I've always been kind of a drifter. I have friends, but I don't have...a place. I don't have a place where I'm needed, or even really wanted, either.


I feel like shit.
I don't even know why.

Maybe it's PMS. I don't know. But whatever is making me feel like this, I don't like it.

I'm not going to cry.
(I lie)
1 comment|post comment

[29 Jul 2004|10:34pm]
[ mood | discontent ]

*Le sigh*
I really don't wanna leave you guys.
And Tyler....God, I've never gone ten days without talking to him. The longest was for a week, I was in Mexico, and I STILL missed him. So ten days in the middle of the forest with my family...UGH. It's gonna suck so bad. I'm betting I'll be really emo.

But anyways, I'm leaving tomorrow morning, early I think.
I'll talk to you guys when I get back on the 8th, if I have time. If not, I'll talk to you when I get back from BC on the 14th.

Love all of you!

6 comments|post comment

[28 Jul 2004|05:37pm]
So...who wants to make me a layout?
'Cause this one's boring the shit outta me?

I'll love you forever, give you free sex and cookieeeeeees!

nevermind, I'm just gonna use something generic. Leopardprintxcore.
6 comments|post comment

[26 Jul 2004|10:41pm]
I've head three of their songs today, one in the movie theatre and twice at home on TV.

...And what's worse is that "Vindicated" is STILL stuck in my head from this morning.

7 comments|post comment

[14 Jul 2004|02:04pm]

It like, just hit me that I'M GOING TO SEE ANTI-FLAG TOMORROW!!!!


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[11 Jul 2004|07:26pm]
I fucking hate myself right now.

I'm not a good person. I think I used to be, when I was younger. I was always the nice one who ended up getting picked on.
But now I'm not so innocent. I'm not so nice.
I don't do anything to help anyone, it's not like I make anyone else's life easier or better, even in the least bit.
I'm selfish and I don't put other's first as much as I should.
I don't do anything to help out around the house, my parents give me so much and I don't give anything in return.
I'm ugly.
I always think I'm right.
I don't try my best in most things, and I slack off a lot.
I'm lucky, because even though I don't try, I excel in a lot of things.
I don't deserve most of the things I have. I don't deserve my friends, my parents, Tyler, my life.
Even though I try not to take things for granted, I do.

I know it. I'm completely aware of these things. That doesnt mean that it doesnt hurt when I'm told and reminded of all this. My dad's right about everything he says, though.

I guess this is why I've fucked up so many things in my life.
My friendships with numberous people, such as Jess, Nicole, Amber, Rachel, Courtney, Ashleigh, Lyndz.
My relationship with my parents and my brother.
My grades, which also effect my relationship with my parents.

I just cried on the phone to Tyler for about half an hour, and I'll probably do it again after I eat dinner. That makes me feel selfish, too, becuase he has to listen to it and it must put a lot of weight on his shoulders.

I could say that I'm going to try and be better, but I'd probably fail to do so. I always promise myself and others that I'll improve, and I dont follow through.

I don't have anything else to say.
Sorry for rambling.
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[11 Jul 2004|06:29pm]
I haveta hurry and type this becauser I gotta take my dog for a walk before the 'rents get home. So if my grammar and spelling stink, deal with it, mmkay?

The Stampede was awesomecore. Like woah.

We got there and me and Tyler kinda just wondered...He went to go talk to Lyndz and I just kinda waited because I didn't wanna go over there 'cause she like...hates me and shit. And I'd probably get sad and start missing her again if I went and talked to her. Yeah.
Then we went on the Gravatron? or something like that. you spin round and round and you're stuck to the wall and the wall moves up and down and yeah. it's fun. i think we did that twice. Ummm... We wondered some more.

OH OH! I went on this ride, I can't remember what it was called, but it was a special one not included in your credits. it was $35 to go on this ride but my daddy took me on because everyone else was to fucking chicken shit. It was SOOOOO much fun. It's like two thingies for two people to sit on at the end of a big stick, and spins vertically from the center and OMFG. SO fun.

Then we went and got my little borther so I could take him to Sum41. Tyler and I lost eachother so I was stuck with my brother the whole time and didnt get to go stir shiat up in the pit. I found a tree for my brother to sand in 'cause it was REALLY fucking crowded and he couldnt see. And I kinda stood there wanting it to be over because I was bored outta my mind.

Found Tyler, ate cotton candy and itty bitty donoughts. Yumm. Me and Tyler went on the swings.

And them we went on the ferris wheel. How romantical. Only not really because we had to go in a gondola with four other people. But Tyler's really afraid of hights, and even though I told him a million times that we didnt go on, he went on it for me and tried to be brave. It was cute.

Yeeeeah. Then we went home. At like...12:30-ish AM. And then Tyler called me at like 1:30 'cause we're cool like that.

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Friends only, motha fuckas. [08 May 2004|06:41pm]
[ mood | bouncy ]

Friends only
I don't need the whole world to be reading my shit.

If you want to be added, comment and add me first.
I'll probably add you back.

If you're not going to comment on my entries, don't bother asking to be added, because there's no point.

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