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Alright, so I've been sitting on this episode for a few days, not sure whether to throw up my feelings all over everyone's Tumblr dashboard, but I can't contain myself anymore so on LiveJournal it goes. The episode won't leave me alone, in much the same way Humancentipad gave me nightmares for a solid two weeks. And it won't leave me alone for basically the same reason: Kyle is the show's butt monkey and he continues to get no retribution for going through the traumatic situations he keeps getting put in for no discernible reason. I'm prone to secondhand embarrassment to begin with, but the extent to which I relate to and identify with Kyle really brings that to another level where I laugh nervously while wanting to puke.

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That all being said, I'm considering attempting an AU set in the Vietnam War, but I need to read some things first and brush up on my history. I promised Julads I wouldn't kill Stan in this one, and as an extension of that I promise I won't kill Kyle either (but that shouldn't be surprising coming right after this whole rant).
Current Mood: bitter
Why are people all of a sudden assuming Kyle would be super tall as an adult when like all signs point to NO? Here's the deal: Kyle is not Matt Stone. Kyle is not Matt Stone. Kyle is Kyle. Yes Kyle was Matt's mouth piece at first but the character has grown his own personality and life outside of how he relates to Matt. "Matt is tall" is not a reason to ignore actual canon (not to mention genetic) evidence that Kyle isn't or wouldn't be tall and lanky. "Kyle likes basketball" also makes absolutely no sense, because he was kicked off the team in that one episode where he decided he liked basketball because HE'S SHORT. He literally gets kicked off for being a short Jewish kid. I hate that episode with a burning passion but I like the confirmation that he's a short dude, so whatever.

I talked a lot about genetics in a post about Kyle's height one time, but that was a long time ago and I'm too lazy to find it. What it really came down to is that Kyle's mom is really fucking short. And there's been no indication in the show that Gerald is tall - he's not drawn tall like some of the other men are, like Craig's dad, so one can only assume he's average at best. With those genetics, it's really, really unlikely that Kyle will end up really tall. 5'10"? Sure. I personally like 5'8" but I'll take anything under 6' as believable for him. Towering over everyone to the point of having bad posture in an attempt to seem shorter and less gangly? Sorry, no. Like. Really... no.

Additionally: Height in relation to the other boys.

Even as children, Cartman is consistently animated as the tallest despite being younger than everyone else by at least a month. You can see it clearly in screencaps like:
In this cap, Cartman is clearly taller than Kyle at the shoulders and the eyes. The only reason Kyle ever gives off the impression of tallness is because of his hat's shape and the size of his hair. I get that could be misleading but come on.

And then there's:

The Style sunset pic that everyone loves! I especially love this because it is a close up on how Stan is animated wider than Kyle and somewhat taller (also seen here, where if you look closely you can see that Stan is slightly taller at the shoulders). The only person Kyle is consistently drawn taller than is Kenny (except in Good Times With Weapons, but more on that in a sec). I mean, obviously kids can grow at different rates and some boys shoot up like weeds, but this chart shows that it's usually pretty consistent - if a boy is short as a kid, then he's probably going to be short as an adult too.

And finally:

In Good Times With Weapons, Kyle's anime self is drawn significantly shorter and smaller/less bulky than the other boys. Whether that is supposed to be a reflection of their current selves, Matt and Trey's vision of them older, or simply how they like to imagine themselves... it's still pretty clear evidence whatever way you look at it. Not that any of them will be THAT buff when they're older, but since the anime characters are adult, it's pretty safe to stand by that animation as a height reference, I think (in which case it would be Cartman > Kenny > Stan > Kyle). And we also get that Kyle has awesome cheekbones, which he's also shown to have in the realistic sketch from Free Willzyx. So there's continuity for you.

This post is dumb, but I've wanted to rant about this for a while.

I'm just reeeeally fucking tired of seeing snarky complaints about "short, nerdy Kyle" or "short, girly Kyle" and people whining that Kyle can't be short because he plays sports and can beat up Cartman. Or whatever. Protesting "girly Kyle" is problematic in its own way (because Kyle does have feminine traits and there's nothing wrong with that and in fact it's normal for boys to have them but society tries to kill those traits as early as possible in boys because they're associated with weakness and complaining about Kyle bottoming or being too girly by citing that he's also aggressive is NOT HELPING AT ALL because he can be both!!!!! To throw a Fingerbang reference in, he can be, and IS, both the sweet one and the tough one!)... but that's a whole different discussion. But short does not equal girly, anyway. But people still whine about it ("But Matt Stone is tall! Stop making Kyle so girly!").

The fact of the matter is, ignoring canon evidence that Kyle is short and slight (including him even referring to HIMSELF as short) in favor of proving a point that he's a top or just in an attempt to be ~unique~ in fandom is... kind of annoying. I guess my issue with these interpretations is that they are simply being contrary for the sake of being contrary, which inevitably leads to a poor and/or one dimensional "version" of Kyle whose chief selling point to the fandom is that he's tall. So if y'all are gonna make a big deal about rebelling against short Kyle, I'mma make a big deal right back haha.

I mean, I find Tall!Kyle fundamentally unappealing on every level and people have the right to feel that way about short!Kyle, but every time I see tall!Kyle it seems to be a direct response to what's popular in fandom - in an attempt to be the cool outsider who does ~new and interesting~ things, people are creating a caricature of him. But... there's a lot more that could be said about that and this post was only supposed to be about height, not the personality (or lack thereof) that's often attached to tall!Kyle.
Current Mood: crankycranky