hate // pinkxtasy

(no subject)

Why can't I think of anything but him? I haven't talked to him in forever but its like when I see him all the old feelings come back again. He's never made me happy so why am I acting like this? I need security in my life more than anything. I need someone who is always there for me, someone who genuinely cares, and I don't have that from anyone in my life right now. I wish just one thing would go right once in awhile and good fortune would come my way. I'm not a bad person.
  • Current Music
    NIN - Fuck You Like An Animal
hate // pinkxtasy

(no subject)

I thought I saw your face today, in the sparkle of the morning sun. And then I heard the angel say, "Their work on earth is done." I thought I heard your voice today, then laugh your hearty laugh. And then I heard the angel say, "There's peace dear one at last." I thought I felt your touch today, in the breeze that rustled by. And then I heard the angel say, "The spirit never dies." I thought I saw my broken heart, in the crescent of the moon. And then I heard the angel say, "The Lord is coming soon." I thought that you had left me, for the stars so far above. And then I heard the angel say, "They left you with their love." I thought that I would miss you so, and never find my way. And then I heard the angel say, "They're with you every day." "The sun, the wind, the moon, the stars, will forever be around, reminding you of the love you shared, and the peace they've finally found."

I MISS YA'LL MORE THAN YOU KNOW!
hate // pinkxtasy

(no subject)

I'm Ludvig II, the Swan King of Bavaria!
Which Historical Lunatic Are You?
From the fecund loins of Rum and Monkey.

Born with the name of Otto, you became Ludwig at the request of your grandfather, King Ludwig I, because you were born on his birthday. You became Crown Prince at the tender age of 3, and soon after stole a purse from a shop on the basis that everything in Bavaria belonged to you. Tragedy struck when your pet tortoise was taken away; relatives thought the six-year-old prince was too attached to it. Your childhood was lonely and formal. Once, you were prevented from beheading your younger brother by the timeous arrival of a court official. From the age of 14 you suffered from hallucinations.

Despite striking an imposing figure with your great height and good looks, your speeches were pompous to the point of incomprehensibility. You became even more of a recluse, often spending hours reading poetry in a seashell-shaped boat in your electrically-illuminated underground grotto.

You are most famous for building three fairytale castles - Linderhof, Neuschwanstein and Herrenchiemsee - at tremendous public expense. Declared insane and confined to your bedroom by concerned (and embarrassed) subjects, you escaped on 13 June 1886, but were later found drowned with your physician in Lake Stamberg in mysterious circumstances.

lol I'm awesome!
hate // pinkxtasy

(no subject)

I want to go to sleep but I have a paper due in the morning and it is most definitley not finished. And look at me! I'm on livejournal. WHY? Because I'm Attention Deficit Disorder out the ass tonight. I can't concentrate for shit!

I made $30 today just for sitting at the concession stand, eating free food, and talking to hot baseball guys for three hours. I love that job! And then this weekend I'm gonna make $120, plus more at the ballpark. Excited.

Anyways.. foreign people suck. I hate me. and I hate him even more! shithead.

So yeah. I'm going to drink a cup of coffee and finish this fucking paper.
hate // pinkxtasy

(no subject)

Today was really fun.
I got out of bed because I had to throw up. I'm really sick. I mean REALLY sick.

I feel unusual because my antidepressants are making me hairy.

I'm so happy. I just found out that I have been accepted into Harvard. And Yale. I don't know which to choose... oh, why is life so hard sometimes?

Last night I had to go and pay Joshua's bail. He's such a jerk. He got arrested for punching the Walmart clerk in the face for refusing to sell him beer. He's only 16!

I went to the doctor yesterday, and he said I have a terrible skin disease which prevents me from coming into contact with other human beings. And bipolar disorder.

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Took it from yummyshaaynerz!
hate // pinkxtasy

(no subject)

So today was less than exciting. I'm grounded so not many options. I went to the ballpark and worked the NLR game for a few hours then got paid $$. Then went to the mall and spent it all. Imagine that. I'm happy with my purchases though.
I bought:
- enough makeup at Clinique to get the bonus.
- a white denim jacket from Dillards
- a Dooney and Burke purse for my mom's birthday.

Then I had lunch at U.S. Pizza. Favortie sandwhich!! Now, I'm bored and in desperate desire of a ciggarette. Sunday is Easter. Maybe I'll get a present.
  • Current Music
    Fixing Her Hair - Ani DiFranco
hate // pinkxtasy

(no subject)

If I knew it would be the last time that I'd see you fall asleep, I would tuck you in more tightly and pray the Lord, your soul to keep. If I knew it would be the last time that I would see you walk out the door, I would give you a hug and kiss and call you back for one more. If I knew it would be the last time that I'd hear your voice lifted up in praise, I would video tape each action and word, so I could play them back day after day. If I knew it would be the last time, I would spare an extra minute or two to stop and say "I LOVE YOU" instead of assuming you would KNOW I do. If I knew it would be the last time, I would be there to share your day, well I'm sure you'll have so many more, so I can let just this one slip away. For surely there's always tomorrow to make up for an oversight, and we always get a second chance to make everything right. There will always be another day to say our "I LOVE YOU's, and certainly there's another chance to say our "Anything I can do's? But just in case I might be wrong, and today is all I get, I'd like to say how much I love you and I hope we never forget, tomorrow is not promised to anyone, young or old alike. And today may be the last chance you get to hold your loved one tight..... So if you're waiting for tomorrow, why not do it today? For if tomorrow never comes, you'll surely regret the day that you didn't take that extra time for a smile, a hug, or a kiss, and you were too busy to grant someone, what turned out to be their one last wish. So hold your love ones close today, whisper in their ear, tell them how much you love them and that you'll always hold them dear. Take time to say "I'm sorry," please forgive me," Thank you, or it's okay. And if tomorrow never comes, you'll have no regrets about today...


I love yall so much and I miss you! Kyle, Sam, Alicia, Taylore', and Jae.
hate // pinkxtasy

(no subject)

Didn't go to school today. Took longest nap ever. Sour cream and onion potato chips and U.S. Pizza sandwiches are my best friends. <33 Watching Charmed. Too lazy to write complete sentences.