So, I've come to the conclusion that pro 'peace and love' folk, who although might not ALL put much thought into what that means for them, are at least pro peace and love. If more people at least advocated pro peace and lovery, the world would be a Considerably different place [though not completely, because advocating obviously doesn't mean practising]. But so that's something I could work with, because at a certain level -- peace and love are what I'm going for as well, and they're by nature, more open minded view points.
On a related note, I've already accumulated some 'sexist office remarks' stories, and thinking about them really aggravated me. I just think to myself 'do you realize how foolish what you're saying is? you could be so much better than that'. So the problem with me in relation to these societal issues is that they affect me on too much of an emotional level. And that's because I'm not understanding them the right way. And this makes me think, once again, of what Megan and I spoke about [I love you, btw, and hope you're doing well, and I'm stealing you when I get in town, ya hear? You must send me updates on life status and such :)]. And so I sat down, and made a list of what I think the problem is -- in this case, men being socialized to think a certain way, and feeling pressured to fit into roles that society prescribed to them -- why I think the problem exists, and what makes them say some of the closed minded, offensive/thoughtless things they do.
And so a large part is that from their end, it's more a matter of thoughtlessness stemming from habit than an intended offense towards women, in this case. And so realizing the pressure that a lot of men have to be this society-set notion of 'the man', and what activities/behaviours/remarks could make them seen as less of a man, plays a major role. And it's hard to live up to, and more importantly -- it's restricting. And it's not THEIRS.
So, if I intend on changing ANYONE [regardless as to whether that's with or without music] the sort of aggravated emotional responses I have, that I've always had, gotta go. Or at least be dealt with in a more intelligent way: because they're not condusive to clear thinking, at all. Or to anything else, for that matter.
And so the reason they come about is because of the standards I set on people that are my OWN. And not theirs. And so the trial here is bringing your perspective standards to a different level [not always lower, necessarily], in order to fully understand the 'world' of people who live that way. In this case, a way that I find restricting, and not solely for them. And this is a really weird thing for me to say/think, because it's contrary to many influences from my childhood that I've accrued, from many different sources. But that doesn't mean that they were right, and that doesn't mean that I was right. Bref, I wasn't.
In any case, all I know is that this really HAS to change. Otherwise, it sort of puts me at a halt. Not even as far as goals go, just as far as my personal growth goes. It is restricting me, actually.
Disclaimer: So, once again, the 'he said' parts of this entry are based on generalizations, that people are as free to fall into as they are to fall out of.
On another note. Holy shitmonger. I have so much to do. I have to prepare a track with vocals, soon. I'm just so... uncertain right now about so many things. I'm happy... but there's just many things that need to get done, and I'm not pushing enough, and I don't know what's holding me back. I don't have time to be held back. There are certain things that I've been trying to do, for many years, that I have not achieved yet. And while I'm capable of so much, these things have been particularly difficult, and I haven't succeeded yet. So, one of them is a more obvious link, but the other one... I feel as though if I don't fight this and do these things now, I never will. And time will just pass, as it has been. And my not having changed too much from an aesthetic point of view, as 1D as that seems, is a VERY large deception. I DON'T have time. It has to happen now. I can see a pool of regrets trailing these things, otherwise, because they represent a precedent of how I want life to go. And when I set goals, I sure as hell want to meet them. And so, before witnesses, I swear to myself, for myself, that I will do these things every day that goes by.
Lol, I didn't perhaps set too large an agenda? Nah... ;p