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03 November 2006 @ 11:43 pm
There are moments when I wish the world would just stop for me. Just stop, so when I came home, things would be as I remembered. Then there are other days when I know that people will have changed in different ways, or maybe it will feel as if they haven't changed a bit. No matter what, I think of it now, and I know that when I come home I am bound to be frustrated. I am destined to have my heart broken, but that is the choice I have made. Europe has changed us all so much, whether we see it or not, and that is the scariest thing of all, that we simply go on with our lives and never see the difference in us from two and a half months ago until now. I don't always know who I am anymore, but I have faith that God will give me guidance in my last weeks in Rome and upon my return. These last five are goign to fly, and there is so much to do, but this is what I have chosen, this is what I shall do, and I only intend to succeed.

I am praying for you ... and if you choose, please pray for me to have faith. I am confident that the rest will follow in time.
02 November 2006 @ 12:14 am
Hey everyone! I am currently in Budapest, Hungary right now, with a silly Hungarian keyboard (the z and the y are switched, and the numbers go 0123456789öüó, I cannot find the apostrophe and thus cannot make contractions, and the punctuation is wonky). Anyway, I just wanted to check in, to inform all that Budapest is lovely (but cold!). Barcelona was gorgeous as well, and I got to visit a good friend from school who I may not see until next September when school starts up again. I am almost entertaining making another trip out to Barcelona, but I just do not know if I have the time. If not, it was fun. I leave tomorrow for Berlin, and that completes my trip. I am excited but nervous, because that is the first time this trip when I will actually be alone. In Budapest, I got to hang out with my amazing friend Sophia. So far ... this week has been awesome.

Also, please pray for me to find a church in Rome. I know I only have 6 weeks left, but I realized how much I miss the fellowship. If there is anything you would like me to pray for you for, please let me know. Anyway, I must now go to pack, because I depart the hostel at 10 AM for the airport, and it is about a quarter past midnight. Did I mention that the wine here is good?
24 October 2006 @ 11:43 am
All right, so I've been a slack at posting. We still don't have internet at the residence, so I'm using the internet at the study center. Talk about a pain in the butt. To that end, if you call me on Skype, I'll get it on my cell phone? So call away people, but let's keep it short, because my phone credits always run out fast.

Okay, so life has been crazy. Not too much drama, I suppose, but I have found that I tend toward one roommate more than the other. It's natural, I know, and this situation pales in comparison to freshman year at UCSD, so really, I feel like I'm doing well. I haven't been sleeping well, though, and everything that makes me stress out gives me a nervous stomach and I can't eat. Gah, I just need to get over these nerves. Right in the middle of my stay. Honestly!

That brings me to another thing. We have passed the halfway point. It's hard to believe that we have less than two months left, and it's equally hard to believe that over two months have passed. It's more surreal than anything else, and I'll miss Rome when I come home, but I don't think it's the love of my life. It's just not quite me, but hey, I'm working on it. There are days when I wish the world around me would stop ... but that's not going to happen anytime soon.

Anyway, midterms were this week. I had two yesterday, and there's one more tomorrow night. Then it's off to the soup kitchen. Thursday morning, I have a group oral exam in Italian, and then I'm done.

So ... the exciting part! Thursday evening, I depart for Barcelona! I'm staying for three nights with Irene, then on Sunday evening I depart for Budapest. In Budapest, I'm staying through until November 2, then it's off to Berlin for the last leg, then back home to Rome on the 5th. At ... oooh ... 7 in the morning. That will suck. Other than that, I'm relieved to have a break from Rome, as lovely as it is. I'm just so stressed right now, and I feel like I'm doing all right, but I just want to push myself harder, and I feel like I'm at the point of breaking. I know I can't break, and I know I just have to hold on and breathe, but there are those moments when I feel like I'm suffocating. Those moments pass, though, and I'm just back to being me.

Life is crazy. End of story.
06 October 2006 @ 11:03 am
As I've been in Rome and all about Italy, I've started drawing again. I've been having a lot of fun, and I realized I had some outstanding fandom commitments that I still haven't fulfilled. That didn't stop me from signing up for hp_tarot, which is bringing together artists and writers to put together a full tarot deck in time for the end of March (it's close enough to Vernal Equinox ...). Anyway, that's not to downplay my relationship with God, but this comm looked like too much fun to turn down. I'm doing the Queen of Wands, and guess where I went for references? The Vatican Museum! Anyway ... this is a reminder to ask my roomie to get me the puzzle of the entire Sistine Chapel Ceiling. They seems to have them readily availible before you enter. But after, not so much luck. And of course, you can't go back through the Sistin Chapel, because they're just anal like that. It was fun, and now I have a lot of strong female figure references. Now if only I could come up with her faces. And her costume. Oh ... my Queen of Wands is Ginny Weasley. It was the interpretation in the table, but it fits. All right ... I really should read. I have been saying that all week. Oy.
21 September 2006 @ 09:13 pm
I am sitting at the computer at my hostel in Florence, wondering what the hell happened. I am here early, and I am meeting my parents tomorrow, hopefully at the train station. If not, I will track them down. Or, I will sit in the bloody lobby of their hotel for God knows how long. Let us pray I find them at the train station. Got lost in Venice. Slept in a tunnel in the rain. Got soaked. I think my socks are still wet. Got to Milan on one piece, but someone's money got stolen, so she had to head home, with my other buddy. So I headed alone to Florence. It is a beautiful city, but I am worried that being here too long is making me jaded. Luckily, I will meet up with my parents, and that will make it all better, because I am certain they are excited about Italy. I miss Rome already. Alas. I am now working on my last two minutes of internet time, so I will not be able to get back to anybody until Sunday evening. I start classes on Monday morning. 9 AM sharp. Wish me luck? Anyway, I love you all and promise to update more. My handwritten journal is getting fuller by the day, but this LJ is as empty as ever. Love ya.
01 September 2006 @ 04:34 pm
Every day I walk through the heart of Rome, past the Vatican, past Saint Peter's. I'm really here. There's no denying it. I am in Rome, and I love it, yet at times, I feel incredibly lost. Like I'm missing out on something, like there's is not and will never be enough time. At the moment, I'm attempting to plan a side trip for my weeklong break, and I think I have decided on Barcelona (where my beautiful friend Irene is studying). My other trip will probably take me to Germany (where I have wanted to travel since I studied German in 7th grade -- I'm a 3rd year in college now!), and on the weekends, I want to go to Florence, Venice, Turin, and the other beautiful cities Italy has to offer. I am just so confused as to what I want to do. I want to go to so many places, see so many things, and have a wonderful, amazing time, yet I know that if I travel too much I'll miss out on the little stuff that this big city has to offer. All the time spend traveling is time lost, and I'm afraid that I will still feel lost here at the end of my trip, and that is the last thing I want. There are two walking tours this weekend, plus a cooking class, and I can't wait. I am also hoping to make reservations for the Borghese Gallery to see the Raffaello exhibit. Who's excited now? XD
29 August 2006 @ 01:37 pm
Ciao tutti! I got into Fiumicino Airport on Wednesday evening. I was supposed to get there in the afternoon. It was dramatic, but I'm here, in Rome, and I'm loving it. :)

I want to make a big post about all that I've done so far, but I would never be able to remember it all. I actually wanted to know, did anybody wanted a postcard from Vatican City/Rome/Italy/Europe? I want to send some, so I figured I'd open it up to my lovely and beautiful LJ friends. It doesn't matter if I've never met you. I think I can spare the postage. :)

So, if you'll take me up on the offer, here's what I need from you:
1. Your Name
2. Your Current Mailing Address
3. Your Preferred Postcard Image (Optional)

Just so you know, all comments on this entry will be screened, so I promise I'm not just handing out your personal information to the masses. However, if you're really uncomfortable, just email me at "FIRE AND RAIN [at] GMAIL [dot] COM". Anyway ... you know what to do. Just remove the spaces (even in the username) and replace the bracketed words. Bene!

I love you all, I miss you, and I promise to take more pictures so I can put them all up. I've been a bad picture-taker. :( Alas. I must soon go to practice my Italian. We'll see how that goes. :)
Current Location: Rome, Italy
Current Mood: ecstaticthrilled
20 August 2006 @ 10:48 pm
I am one day closer to leaving. My flight is on Tuesday. I need to finalize the reservation. I must make photocopies. I'm not packed. This is all going by far too fast, and I'm scared out of my mind. I don't feel like I can move, yet I know I must. My parents are treating me as if this is just another one of my procrastinating schemes, and that bugs the heck out of me, because I feel as if they don't care much. In my heart, I know they do, and that they want me to be prepared, so I won't be panicking on the last day, and I won't be crying. I love them so much. I just wish we were on the same wavelength. Anyway, I need to find a shirt and a sweater and keep on packing. This computer is horribly distracting. Gah!!!
Current Mood: scaredfreaked out
Current Music: "O Come, O Come Emmanuel" - Belle & Sebastian
15 August 2006 @ 02:21 am
Happy Birthday, Olivia! ... aka iliveforthis.

I hope that 19 far exceeds your expectations.
10 August 2006 @ 12:36 pm
Less than two weeks. I am scared shitless. Well ... maybe not, but it feels as if things are just changing far too fast. Saw The Light In The Piazza yesterday afternoon. It was adorable. I went with my cousin Becky. And now I have to go to work. Ciao!