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Jan. 31st, 2007


The end?

So I haven't updated this thing in god knows how long. And I will continue to not update it in such a manner. I dont feel its right that I have to share my feelings with people I dont even know. I also dont like the fact that it seems like its a chore to do so.

About a week ago, I came to the conclusion that should I ever need to share my feelings, emotions, etc. It wasn't going to be here anymore. I'm going to have a different outlet. This is merely because I dont feel comfortable about it anymore. I dont like the idea of having to censor myself because some of my friends might be offended by the real person I am.

I will leave you with a final message. In two weeks I start my new life. One where within the next two years I'll be a wife, a mother, a friend.. but most of all myself.


Nov. 3rd, 2006

hampster dance

Rest In Peace, My Invincible Puppy.

I recieved a call at 10:08 at work from my mom. She told me I needed to come home immediately. I asked why and she told me that my dog, Dylan wouldn't be making it through the night.

I rushed home and I could see it. At 13 years old, he'd lived a full life. He was struggling. It was time.

We took him to the vet and had him euthanized. He went very peacefully at 11:09.

If you believe in God, please keep my family in your prayers. We've had him since he was a puppy and so its hitting everyone hard.

Rest In Peace

Dylanger Damien Chew
September 20, 1993 - November 3, 2006

Aug. 21st, 2006

hampster dance

The Joy of Life.

I hope everyone here leaves each of their days to the fullest. I really do. I hope you dont take a moment for granted and that you dont waste your time meddling over little things.

I say this because I just found out my best friends dad passed away. He passed away yesterday of lung and liver cancer.

I find this all to be a little hard, but I know he wouldn't want me to sit around and not do anything. I know he wants me to be able to live my life. As the tattoo I just recently got says, "The worst of all fears is the fear of living." He was never afraid to live, so I wont be afraid either.

God bless his family and god bless him.

RIP, Gordy.

Jul. 8th, 2006

dont tease

Too lazy to put it behind a cut.

Yes, this was stolen. Perhaps you'll see a real post later.

(Click here to post your own answers for this meme.)

I miss somebody right now. I don't watch much TV these days.  (I watch more. Because I dont have a job.) I own lots of books.  (Had to buy a bookcase.)
I wear glasses or contact lenses.  (My super cool glasses.) I love to play video games.  (Even though I suck) I've tried marijuana.
I've watched porn movies. × I have been the psycho-ex in a past relationship. I believe honesty is usually the best policy.  (Not always true. I'd rather not know something that would hurt me.)
I curse sometimes.  (Sometimes? Haha.. all the time.) I have changed a lot mentally over the last year.  (I'd like to think so. I definitely think I'm more mature.) × I carry my knife/razor everywhere with me.
it goes on...Collapse )

May. 16th, 2006

hampster dance


From now on, most of my posts are going to be friends only or private. I dont feel its your right to know whats going on in my personal life if I dont want you to. If I want to friend you, I will. If not, dont get broken hearted over it.

May. 8th, 2006

pengiuns dig


I think I'm either coming down with a cold or having a sinus infection. Eitherway it blows. I've felt like I've got pressure on my brain and then I've got a sore throat. I'm sneezing and coughing but this has come on almost too fast for a cold. Besides, yesterday was horrible with my allergies. I was sneezing and had runny everything. Dustin was worried about me. He kept asking if I was okay or not. Even after taking my Allegra it still didnt work. I picked up some Benadryl but I'm afraid to take it. I'm allergic to Sudafed but Benadryl doesn't have Suphedrine. Still.. its kinda freaky because I get really bad with sudafed. I break out into hives and my throat swells up and when I was a kid, I went into anaphalayctic shock. Too risky to try to feel better till I talk to my mom about it.

Wednesday is Jill's last day at the credit union. I'm sad. She's my hombre. I wish my last day wasn't so far away (and yet, I'm glad it is).

May. 4th, 2006

polariod pengiuns

(no subject)

Many of my posts are private right now as I just need some place to vent and get my mind off of things. I promise that sometime (hopefully soon) I'll be back. And I'll post as good as I can. Thanks for hanging in with me.

Apr. 18th, 2006

hampster dance

(no subject)

I'm in so ... crushed. All I'm able to tell you at this point is in June, I'm moving out with my parents for a couple of months and will probably never see Dustin again (though I will talk to him). I'm breaking apart inside and its gonna be awhile before I post. I might be online. I might not be.

Apr. 12th, 2006

hampster dance

Voice Post

245K 1:11
(no transcription available)

Apr. 10th, 2006


Forget Wacko Jacko.

I’m a nut job. I must be.

Contreltophobia: Fear of being sexually assualted
Autophobia or Monophobia: Fear of being alone
Scelerophobia: Fear of burglars, or being harmed by wicked persons
Ophidiophobia or Snakephobia: Fear of Snakes
Climacophobia: Fear of falling down stairs
Acrophobia: Fear of Heights (Not really heights, but falling from them)

And on top of that, a phobia without a name—I have a fear of spilling liquid. I mean, some of these are understandable and very common… but fear of spilling? I’ve been getting panic attacks because of this. I need to grasp onto the can or whatever it is and hold it tightly. I told you I was a nut job.

Moving on… I’m going to add to my tattoo. I’m gonna get another daisy on the other side and some… words of wisdom in between them. I’m thinking of these:

· The worst of all fears is the fear of living.

· It is hard to fail, but it is worse never to have tried to succeed.

· Keep your eyes on the stars, and your feet on the ground.

The first one is obviously where I started thinking of the fears. I honestly love that one but I like the others. They’re all from Teddy Roosevelt. What do you guys think? {Other than I’m a complete pyscho that needs to get some therapy} What do you think about the quotes?? Which would you choose?

So Cara called me the other day… her wedding is in 12 days and she has asked me to be the maid of honor. I am stoked. She’s getting married in a little chapel with a picnic being the ‘reception’. Wee! :)

I’m so glad today is almost over. I suppose I shall run away now. Do something… productive?

{Edit!! I totally spaced this. So when I was a wee little tyke, my father and I enjoyed what I like to call "WWF" time. I was a big fan of the Undertaker. The original. Anyway, the FRIGGIN UNDERTAKER will be here May 6. I'm totally getting floor seats even though I'm not a big wrestling fan anymore.}

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