Homecoming [season three, episode five.]
I understand Xander helping Cordelia with her campaign, because he's her boyfriend, or whatever, and I understand Oz helping because Willow is helping, but even with her guilt over kissing Xander, Willow should not be helping at all. Cordelia is the worst character in the whole series. Some people say it's Dawn, but I'll get into that in later seasons. Cordelia is an evil bitch whore who doesn't care in the slightest about anyone else. She treated Willow like shit for the entirety of their high school careers up until recently. Cordy is the most popular girl in school, so Willow's "she needs it so much more than Buffy" clause is absolutely false. Buffy, even though I dislike her, has so few "normal" things going on in her life, doesn't she deserve the one little bit of normalcy of being homecoming queen? Especially considering the fact that Buffy is constantly saving the lives of her classmates and Cordelia does nothing for them except treat them like second- and third-class citizens until she needs something [ie. their votes]. Granted, the fact that they're both running, and causing a rift between themselves and their friends means that Cordelia gets accidentally involved in Slayerfest '98. Good, she needs to have her life endangered, way more than it already is. However, that means that once again, Buffy is saddled with having to save Cordy's sorry ass. You'd think it would humble her a bit, showing her that not only does her money and social status NOT make her better than Buffy, it makes her a whiny, repulsive victim.
Cordelia is the most useless, awful character on the show. I guess I have to forgive her that fact, since she's the reason for the episodes Wish and Doppelgangland, which feature the wonderrrrrful evil vampire Willow, and the introduction of Anya. Either way, I think that Joss is awesome enough to have figured out a way to do it, without bitchface Cordy. I'm so glad I decided to start with season three, since it's her last season on the show. She's probably the reason I never started trying to watch Angel all the way through. That, and Angel. I don't really like him, either. He was the cause of a few amazing, heart-wrenching moments, and one of the most tragic love stories in the history of supernatural-teenage-soap-opera-dramas. But my god was he mopey and broody and awful. While I understand that he was Buffy's first love, I am a Buffy/Spike 'shipper, all the way. And there is nothing anyone can ever do to convince me otherwise. Spike > Angel, for so so so many reasons, and he even makes Buffy a bearable character.
Oh, let me just say that considering how beautiful of a character they set up Scott Hope to be with the few episodes before this one, I find it so disturbingly unlikely that he would just up and decide not to like her anymore. And just give her up like it was nothing. Granted, it is high school, and he is a high school boy, so we all know how fickle those creatures are, so I guess it's fairly reasonable. I just could have so easily seen him as being a good boyfriend, and much more tolerable than [ick] Riley. Same with Mr. Trick, I feel like he could've stuck around a little longer. He was an awesome villian, and a great right-hand man to the Mayor [another fantastic villain].
"As Willow goes, so goes my nation." -Oz
"Ladies.. Gentlemen.. Spiny-headed-lookin' creatures.." -Trick
Band Candy [s3, ep6]
One of my favorite episodes everrrrrr. Features creepy teenaged Snider, and badass Ripper bangin' immature Joyce. I honestly think that dosing the candies with magical kid drugs would be the only way to sell a buttload of fundraiser candy, without of course relying on the guilt of family members.
It's really awful that Joyce won't let Buffy drive. Joyce was kind of awful for like the whole year after she found out that Buffy was the Slayer. It may have had something to do with the fact that she ran off to LA after telling her, but I feel like everyone gave her a really hard time over that, considering A] having to kill her newly soul-ful boyfriend and B] having been told that if she left the house [to save the world, I might add], that she wasn't allowed to come back. Talk about unreasonable. Joyce should count her lucky stars that Giles didn't treat this situation the way the rest of the Watchers treat it, and make the Slayers leave their homes and schools to go train up. It's gotta be safer for the families/friends that way, not putting lots of people in danger and all that, but honestly Joyce is wayyyy more overprotective than she needs to be considering her daughter stops the apocalypse on like, a seasonal basis. Sometimes even multiple times a season. It's part of what makes her a good mom, I suppose, all that love and caring, but there's a line. Your kid kills things for her night-job. She can handle re-taking the drivers' test, and managing a car. I fully believe that Joyce not letting Buffy drive as a teenager is what kept Buffy from ever driving as an adult. Did you ever see her behind the wheel of a car after this episode? Nope. And she even mentions to Riley that her and cars are unmixy things.
Again with Joyce saying that Buffy's "running away" is a reason she shouldn't be trusted. Lemme tell you, if I was told that if I left, not to come back, I WOULDN'T come back. That's not very "unconditional love-y" of you, mom-of-the-year. And does Buffy hold it over Joyce's head for the rest of her life? Nope, didn't happen.
I guess it goes without saying, but I hatehatehate the shadiness of Willow/Xander. On one hand, I understand it from Willow's perspective, since she was in love with him for, like, ever. But it's such a dick move of Xander, to have let all that time go by without really thinking of her that way, and then the second she gets a boyfriend [the coolest, most awesome boyfriend, might I add], he starts seeing her in a whole new light. Talk about wanting what you can't have. I don't really care about Cordy's feelings at all, but no one should ever have to go through being cheated on. And this isn't just like, carnal one-time cheating with sex, but it's serious emotional cheating, which is somehow worse. Even my husband told me one time, "if you ever cheat on me, please please just let it be a physical thing, it would kill me if you were having feelings for someone else." It's terrible for X to do that to Cordy, but so much worse for Willow to do that to Oz. Cordelia is awful, and though she doesn't deserve that kind of heartache, Oz is.. Oz.
Am I the only person in the world that wanted Joyce and Giles to be together forever? Probably not, after this episode. Also, he's super sexy as the young deliquent chain-smoking Ripper. It never occurred to me before, but wikipedia says that the song that Giles listens to in the season five episode "Forever," after Joyce's funeral is "Tales of Brave Ulysses" by Cream, which is the one they listen to together in this episode. Dear lord, could you make my any sadder?
It's kind of a bummer that at some point, the Scoobies eventually stop hanging out at the Bronze, but after it got trampled on by crazy drunk old white people, can you blame them? Like, how quickly did the "cool" phrases of "da bomb" and "bling bling" fizzle out once the old white folk started using them?
I know Giles is a stuffy librarian now, but he could totally get in the mix with Buffy, since he clearly has retained his muscle and fighting ability. ..and his "doing it on the hoods of cop cars" ability. And being a petulant child.
Ethan Rayne-- I forgot about him. I know they have a "no killing humans" thing on this show, but they really should've broadened their horizons a bit, and maybe Giles wouldn't have been turned into a hungover demon in season four. It's sad that that big goofy smile of Giles' is only around for this episode. I wish he got that happy and excited about seeing Buffy beat people up all the time. And his accent is way sexier as a teen.
Giles and Joyce remember the chocolate bar high, but none of the other adults seem to. Or they're all pretending it didn't happen. This seems to be a recurring phenomenon in Sunnydale.
"Willow. Ha. That's a tree. You're a tree. Are there any nachos in here, little tree?" -Mrs Barton
"Whoa, Summers, you drive like a spaaaaz!" -Snyder
"Something's happening. Some place that's else." -Oz
"Something's gonna eat those babies?" -Joyce
"I think that is so wrong." -Snyder.
Revelations [s3, e7]
Xander/Willow are the guiltiest people in the history of guilty people.
Gwendolyn Post is pretty high and mighty, and all about telling the Slayers/Giles what they're doing wrong, considering she gets her ass pretty damn well kicked by them at the end of this episode. Still, I think I like her better than Wesley. He sucks all kinds of ass until he shows up on Angel. Then he's okay. Side note: Gwendolyn Post is played by Serena Scott Thomas, younger sister of Kristen Scott Thomas. Thanks, Wikipedia!
This is the episode where they mention that Sunnydale has 12 cemeteries in the city limits. Pretty serious. I'm not real sure how big Sunnydale is supposed to be, but the city I live in, which isn't very big, has about six, I think.
Also high and mighty, Xander needs to shut his big damned mouth about Buffy's love life, especially since his hands are all kind of dirty. It's entirely unfair, also especially since they all knew that Angel had his soul given back before he was killed, and Xander just.. I love him, he's funny, but he really always does the wrong things. It was not his business to get regularly-flying-off-the-handle-Faith involved in this shit. Maybe the reason she was going through all the trouble of keeping him secret because she was sure that this stupid intervention would happen. She's a goddamn Slayer, and she killed him last time he went evil. It's another one of those days where shit would be simpler if she didn't keep friends and family around. Or at least punched Xander in his stupid butting-in face until he promised to back the fuck out of her business forever. And stop saying "Angel did this, Angel killed people, Angel tortured me for hours," cus it wasn't Angel, it was Angelus. I mean, hello, Anya had a soul THE ENTIRE TIME she was killing people and exacting revenge on people. I just want to punch everyone in their vaginas right now. Come to think of it, Xander does the exact same thing with Spike. And as Buffy said herself before, he's a damn demon magnet.
And FAITH. ughh, in just a few short episodes, she'll be killing innocent people like they're bugs. But ANGEL must be stopped. ughhhhhhhh.
Also, I think that cell phones probably would have helped a lot in the earlier seasons of Buffy. Heads up calls, and all. It's amazing anyone survived without them to begin with. And Gwennie-- long pencil skirts are probably not the best for fighting in. Pick your wardrobe better next time you try to destroy the world and shit. Xander-- the fact that Faith threw you across a courtyard should probably give you a clue as to what kind of person she is. She didn't care if you landed on your head, or on your spine, etc.
"Hey, you're not the Watcher of me." -Xander
Lovers Walk [s3, e8]
The above spelling of the title is on purpose, as the script has it spelled without the apostrophe, making it a sad statement. :[ but yay, Spike is back!! and drunk!! and singing "My Way," probably the Sid Vicious version, not the Sinatra version. Must remember to enjoy this episode, since he won't be back until next season. And the appearance of the Pez Witch!! Willow/Oz is the sweetest couple. Second only to Willow/Tara.
In the magic shop, Spike is hanging out at a bookcase, next to an art piece of a topless female torso. It's weird how on tv, they can show nipples in the context of sculptures and "pieces of art," whereas the actual female body's nipples are considered vulgar. If you ask me, the human body is much more artful than sculpted boobs, since you don't know the artist's intent. Maybe it was their intention to sexualize the female form. However, there is no intention in boobs themselves. They're just there. Because of nature and shit. [/rant]
Willow and Xander getting kidnapped by Spike is 100% karma for their dirty-bad-wrong misdeeds. Think about it. Had they not been doing what they were doing, Willow wouldn't have walked into the magic shop, getting seen/heard by Spike, and he wouldn't have thought to take them to his lair. Hm. Just desserts. And the only person that actually got physically injured was Cordelia.
This is also the episode that Spike references in season four, when he says that Willow is totally biteable, wearing "that fuzzy pink number." Super cute. They're my favorite AU pairing. :)
It'd be pretty handy if Buffyverse worked like the TrueBloodverse, where you could rescind a vampire's invitation to your home simply by saying, "I rescind your invitation." Then this Spike thing wouldn't have happened. However, I love the Spike/Joyce BFFL deal. It's so cute. They're the only other people I know who watched Passions.
Spike's "Love's Bitch" speech. ♥ so lovely. Also, with the number of times everyone on this show gets hit in the head, the Scoobies should all have some form of brain damage by now. Let's call it brain damage that Willow and Xander hooked up to begin with. Idiots. Now Oz is heartbroken, Cordelia has been impaled, two relationships get destroyed [one, only temporarily, thank goodness], and I'm mad at Willow for the first of like four times throughout the entire series. And this brings about the only time I've ever felt anything for Cordelia other than blind hatred.
Let me also note that Willow/Alyson Hannigan is one of the only redheads in history to be able to pull off wearing red and orange at the same time. She's never looked bad. Even in yellow. And no one pulls off yellow.
"That was my sarcastic voice." -Oz
"You know, it sounds a lot like your regular voice." -Xander
"I've been told that." -Oz
"What's classier than bowling?" -Xander
"Apart from everything ever?" -Cordelia
"I gave her beautiful jewels, beautiful dresses.. with beautiful girls in them." -Spike
"You're a very bad man!" -Spike
"I'm just gonna do what I should've done in the first place. I'll tie her up, torture her.. til she loves me again." -Spike
The Wish [s3, e9]
Ahhh one of my favorite episodes of all time. While I do feel bad for Cordy, I think she's getting a little bit of what she handed out in the previous seasons by her so-called friends. One of the many reasons I'm so glad I was never involved in any of the "popular cliques." Evil bitches.
Anya's first episode. I'm so very happy to have gotten to this spot, and I'll be even happier when we get to season four, and she's mortal and confused about human life. It's pretty weird to me that Cordy's evil wish is about Buffy, and not about Willow. Or about Xander. It all comes back around to Buffy? You're saying that you only dated Xander because Buffy made him cooler by hanging out with him? Why wouldn't you just wish you weren't such a stupid, shallow cow? Buffy didn't do anything wrong here. And how many times did she save your life? She didn't make out with your boyfriend, or steal your popularity. She didn't even take your homecoming crown. Ridiculous. Absolutely ridiculous. Cordelia is an idiot. But again, if she had wished there was no Willow, then Wishverse would never have brought us evil Willow. It IS, however, good to know that because Buffy had never come to Sunnydale, Cordelia is promptly murdered. Too bad Buffy wasn't there to once again save your ass.
Why do bright colors mean that you are more likely to get bitten? Almost all the vampires in the entire Buffyverse tend to wear monochrome, and dull colors. If they like bright colors so much, why don't they ever wear them? It might even make them less pale-looking. And Cordelia is wearing a sweater over her bright blue dress. Harmony's super neck-revealing clothing seems more like a "come bite me" outfit than Cordy's. Whatever. Sometimes logic does not apply.
I am very interested to know how Larry and Oz came to be part of the White Hats. Maybe in this universe, Oz is still a werewolf. Which makes me wonder, who would win in a fight, vampire or werewolf? Cus that would be super handy, having three nights a month, a big furry weapon, since all the humans are under strict curfew.
When Buffy says, "You guys in Sunnydale talk like I'm the second coming," it's true. I know she's one of the best, but is she THE best Slayer? If we were to have a show about any of the other Slayers, would it be any less impressive? I know that Slayers all die young, and Buffy did outlast the tv show, but what makes her different is having friends and family around, right? Does that affect her skillset so much that she is the single best Slayer of all time? Clearly it has the biggest influence on her, since she didn't actually survive the Wishverse, and the only difference was that she didn't have her backup.
It's pretty telling that Xander kills Angel, Buffy kills Xander, and Oz kills Willow. And of course, the Master kills Buffy, because a prophecy is a prophecy, after all.
"Your logic does not resemble our earth logic." -Buffy
"Bored now." -Vampire Willow
Amends [s3, e10]
Another damn good episode. And the very first time we see The First, and the Bringers! Weird that it lies low for four whole years before coming back and trying to finish its job.
Buffy's got the worst hair of all time in this episode. Tiny bangs, ew-- not pulling them off. And I really wasn't a fan in general of her bleach-blonde color in the early seasons.
I guess I don't really have much to say about this episode.
Joyce. I hated you so much for the first three seasons, and I think this is the peak of it. Granted, you were like, haunted by the ghosts of Christmas protest or something, but not til later in the episode, so what the fuck ever. You can't just show up on your daughter's patrol! She already has to watch her own ass, and now she has to keep up with yours, too?! Unreal.
Awkward Xander-Oz interaction. Well, awkward for Xander, but not so much for Oz, he's always pretty chill. Amy's back. Can't say I'm glad to see her. Good that she's gonna be gone for three more seasons after this.
And nowwww Joyce is showing up at school. That's perfect for your seventeen-year-old daughter's already shady reputation. Awkward Joyce-Giles interaction. When they're awkward, it makes me think ick.
Hey, how did it take so long for the Gang to notice that no parents of the children had stepped forward? Like, there were tons of angry parents, but they were all everyone else's parents. Don't you think at this rally, it would be kind of weird that there wasn't anyone actually grieving?
Oh, I totally forgot about Blake Sennet being in this episode! He played guitar for Rilo Kiley before they split, and before that, he was Joey the Rat on the first few seasons of Boy Meets World, and Pinsky on Salute Your Shorts. I love him dearly. Even when he's a goth-y wiccan kid. Black lipstick is just never sexy.
I do, so wish that I had the intimidation factor of Buffy. She can just walk up to any group of bullies and they immediately back down, fear in their hearts. Also, some of the scariest episodes of Buffy take place in the high school. There used to be random locker searches all the time, all through middle school and high school. And while I understand the reasoning behind it [especially during my middle school years, which were during the Columbine years], it's terrifying for students-- including the ones who don't have anything to hide [and I should know]-- to have their personal belongings gone through by adults. Which is why, in high school, I used a locker for ninth grade, and then quit. Mostly because it was too much of a pain to get there in between classes, and then to the next class on time, but also because if you don't have a locker, it's kind of hard to search it.
I get that part of the point of Willow's mom getting so involved for this one single episode is because of the protest-ghosts and all, but it's pretty fucking shitty that it takes two anonymous children "dying" in a playground for her to actually speak to her daughter. Do you ever see her before this episode? How about after? And you know what's great? She never complains about her terrible childhood, and never talks about how shitty her mother is. Besides the later magic-addiction, she ended up being a perfectly well-adjusted, wonderful person.
Considering Giles is completely computer illiterate, he types way faster than my dad, who sits on the computer every day. Another scary one of the scariest things ever is the whole witch-hunt thing. Persecution is terrifying. Being hunted down by your own family and community for things that may not even be true, or relevant, is just disturbing.
Hey, considering that Willow is practicing magic with Amy, I feel like it really should not have taken three years for Amy to be turned back into a human. I mean, Willow heard the words of the spell Amy said, shouldn't that be like, three-quarters of figuring out how to change her back? All she did was envoke Hecate. I mean, who doesn't do that every Tuesday night?
Maybe it's part of the fact that she's so stupid and arrogant, but Cordelia really doesn't mind rushing into the fray. Considering she was recently impaled on rebar, I feel like that's the opposite of what should be happening. Also since she's so selfish, you'd think she'd value her life more than that. But I guess when there's always someone there to save you, you get real brave.
"Do you see any goats around? No, because I sacrificed them!" -Willow
Helpless [s3, ep 12]
I know she's just fighting, but she always sounds like she's in the middle of some rough sex when she's throwing punches and stuff. I hate this episode. I hate being mad at Giles. It happens so rarely. I guess I'm really mad at the Watchers' Council. They're so fucking useless. They do absolutely nothing-- I mean, NOTHING-- to help out in any way in the entire span of the series. In fact, they fire Giles and hire Wesley in his place. Wesley is about as useess as Cordelia until he goes rogue. Which isn't even until he shows up on Angel. How ridiculous. In fact, if I remember correctly, Wesley is the reason for their plans nearly failing a number of times. Ugh.
It's so cute that Buffy is wanting Giles to take the place of her father for her birthday tradition. And sad that Giles either doesn't notice, or brushes it off because he has to hypnotize her with pretty lighted crystals. Also, how does she not notice that she's just being brushed off when her powers are failing? Any other time, Giles would be absolutely out of his mind worried about what was going on with her. I know she's got a lot on her mind, but I would still notice that. And another thing-- why is the Watchers' Council testing Buffy and not Faith? Technically, Buffy's lifeline has already ended, why are they so invested in her?
Jeff Kober plays the big scary vampire guy that she has to battle-- he'll be back in season six as Willow's magic dealer, Rack. Interesting. He has a very distinctive voice. I know she's not super-strong anymore, but she still had training, she still had her kung-fu shit, that should still come in handy, right? She shouldn't be COMPLETELY helpless. And did she miss the part where Giles said that the vampire that she was going to have to fight had escaped? Especially if she's like, newborn-baby-weak now, that should have maybe made her think to have Cordelia drive her over to Angel's house to get him, first. He could have helped her out until her strength came back. Stupid Buffy.
Man, I miss Polaroids.
The Zeppo [s3, e13]
The only really memorable thing about this episode is that there is another almost-apocalypse that happens entirely offscreen. And the fact that Cordelia goes back to being her horrible evil bitch self. Oh ew, and Xander and Faith do gross things. This whole episode is like a bad dream. I feel like the Buffy-Angel drama scene is a parody of itself. If it's not, then sorry for laughing at you, guys. Melodramaculous. But like, at the end of the episode, Xander turns into Clint Eastwood, and Oz eats a zombie. Pretty awesome.
Bad Girls [s3, e14]
Cordelia like really goes out of her way to make fun of people. It's really fucking pathetic. And ew, Wesley is here. They hook up for a second at some point, and I couldn't think of a better match for either of them. Gross.
Oh yeah, Balthazar. Ew, also gross. Buffy pretty much worshipping Faith. Also also ew. Like for real, how rude do her friends have to get before she takes the hint that NO ONE GIVES A SHIT about your date with Faith? And her inability to draw a heart. Why is Buffy just okay with "Want, take, have"? I know she's got a bad influence right now, but she's not an impressionable thirteen-year-old, she's eighteen-goddamn-years-old, and used to have a pretty strict moral code. It says lots of awful things about her character that she so easily caved to peer pressure, without even a hint of worry or remorse. Also, suddenly things are too dangerous for even Willow to attend. I had a friendship like this, one time, in the sense that I was the Willow, and the safe-friend who never really got into trouble, and was always there and around to help out-- the second the Buffy-friend fell in with the Faith-friend who was always getting drugged at bars, and doing coke, and getting date-raped, and Buffy-friend into trouble, all of her decent, normal, rational friends went out the window. Only difference is that Buffy realized eventually that Faith was bad news [granted, it took Faith killing a man and not caring..] and my Buffy-friend never did. So I started hanging out with Dawn-friend instead. The worst thing Dawn ever did was steal shit.
Oh yeah, oops, now the Mayor is immortal. And Faith hid a body and don't give a shit. And kinda sucky that I think he was going TO the Slayers, to give them a heads up on crazy-Mayor immortality ritual. Nice going, Faith.
"I'm just expecting thin slips of paper with the words 'No way' written on them in crayon." -Xander
"They're typing those now." -Oz
"I didn't get this job because of my looks." -Wesley
"I really, really believe that." -Buffy
"You're not helping." -Wesley
"I know. I feel just sick about it." -Giles
Consequences [s3, e15]
Pervy Wesley likes high school girls. Hey, Buff, how's it feel to get blown off by your one-time BFF? Feeling like an idiot for your Faith-lovin' yet? "Nine times out of ten, the face they're showing you isn't the real one." Yeah, tell me about it, your mask of super-thick makeup never really fooled me, crazy bitch. I can totally see how being the Slayer, and saving the world multiple times, saving hundreds--maybe thousands of people-- might excuse an accidental killing of a human man, but it doesn't mean that you don't feel badly about it. A normal brain could rationalize this as being sort of okay in the balance of things, but they would still have guilt, or remorse, or at the least, not be a total cunt about it. At least enough to try and make things right. Faith's brain isn't exactly normal. She's been totally warped by this power she has. She even says it, that being the Slayer makes her better than everyone else. If you notice, in all the comics and stuff, when an innocent bystander gets accidentally killed in the line of fire, the hero is the one who cares. The villain is the one who rationalizes it into being totally fine in the grand scheme of things.
One of the things I love most about Giles is his intuition. Faith came to Giles to sell out Buffy, and once she leaves, he tells her he knows that there's no way that Buffy could've done that. You can see this as being that he knows Buffy too well to think she'd be capable of something like that, or capable of keeping something like that secret. Her moral fiber is too strong. The fact is, Giles has this sort of super-power to see through the bullshit [most of the time]. Even if he didn't know Buffy that well, I think that he still wouldn't have believed Faith. He says she's a bad liar, but she's a wayyy better liar than anyone else on the show.
Yeah, choking Xander is a really, really good way to try and prove to people that you're not evil, just misguided. Okay, I changed my mind-- Angel is the best liar on the show. I always forget about that time that Faith thinks she took his soul away again and he had to pretend to be evil to get her plans out of her. That's comin' up pretty soon, I think. Maybe it's because season three was the first season I ever watched [and watched it as it aired, even!], but this storyline always seemed so much longer than it is. From "Bad Girls" to "Graduation pt 2" is only nine episodes. It feels like the entire season.
Hey, Wesley, thanks for fucking up and releasing Faith. Idiot. It's like he, on Buffy, and he, on Angel, are two entirely different people. And nowwwww, she's in with the Mayor. Cool.
Doppelgangland [s3, e16]
Anya's baaaaack! This can only mean one thing-- Vampire Willow is coming back!! And human Willow is now levitating pencils with no incantations required! Faith is a decent enough liar that she's already working for the Mayor, and no one knows it yet. Oz's hair is dark brown/black now, so I think that might have something to do with the fact that he filmed both Idle Hands and Austin Powers 2 the same year he filmed this episode. Busy, busy guy.
I do definitely feel like poor Willow gets used a lot for her brains and abilities, without getting much in return. Even when Anya wants help with a spell, which Willow gets real excited about, she's just using Willow for her magicks. That's a little unfair. Which, I need to add, that for being an awesome wicca, even though she's just at the beginning stages of it, she dresses like a teenaged Strawberry Shortcake. Seriously, all that pink and white, and the tights? So 90's it hurts me to look at it.
Percy is such a douche-nozzle [which is the business end of the douche, I might add], that I kind of wish that Vamp!Willow could've killed him and I wouldn't have been sad. But then we would have missed out on simpering-wuss-Percy at the end of the episode. It's pretty awesome timing whenever the Mayor sends his vampire goons after Willow [punishment for her trying to break into his computer files], and they find vampire!Willow first. And I love seeing everyone mourning Willow's "death" and then she comes walking into the room. It's pretty awesome. She turns to Giles for an explanation, and then gets bear-hugged by him instead. It's super-cute. Not cute-- Oz's face when he sees vamp!Willow and thinks she's dead. Devastating. And then it gets cute again when Angel comes into the library all melodramatic and broody and upset about Willow being dead. "Willow's dead! Oh hey Willow."
Creepy, sexy goodness when the two Wills are in the same room together. It's weird how completely different they look when they're next to each other. Human Willow looks all soft and sensitive and sweet, like a total girl-next-door, high school nerd; Vampire Willow is like a confident, badass sexy lady. It's not just the makeup, it's like, her whole aura changed. Alyson Hannigan is truly one of the best actresses on the show. Way better than Sarah Michelle Gellar, if I'm being honest here.
Angel almost blew Willow's future cover, almost correcting Buffy on how vampires are nothing like their former selves. Even I caught the foreshadowing there, and I wasn't even twelve when this came on television. B-t-dubs, the cutest thing in the world is when Willow-dressed-as-Vamp!Willow gives Oz a little wave to let him know that it was her. She's such a sweetheart, and Oz looks so relieved. Also, sort of wishing that vamp!Willow had killed Cordelia in this reality, too. That would've totally kept Cordy from sleeping with Connor on Angel. And would have totally prevented that awful Jasmine storyline, and maybe even Cordy's sad real-death. ...That's a whole different review and a whole different show.
Wesley is kind of the worst Watcher of all time. Shouldn't Watchers.. not be such big pussies? I mean, maybe I got spoiled by the fact that Giles was an all-around bad motherfucker, but the only Watcher I've ever seen squeak like a woman is Wesley. I guess I haven't really seen all that many, but still. What's the count-- four, maybe? Giles, Wesley, Gwendolyn Post, and Quentin Travers. Hm, I'm probably forgetting at least one or two, but they're not important. The fact remains: Wesley has no real reason for having been hired as the Watcher of not one, but TWO Slayers-- and on a Hellmouth, no less. That just doesn't make any sense to me.
And sniveling Percy. Good ending to a fantastic [one of my favorite] episodes.
"You'll definitely beat her on the Psych test. Just don't check the box that says 'I sometimes like to kill people.'" -Willow
"Old reliable, you're like a geyser of fun that goes off at regular intervals." -Xander
"That's Old Faithful." -Willow
"Isn't that the dog that they had to shoot--" -Xander
"That's Old Yeller." -Willow
"Xander, I beg you not to help me." -Buffy
"And I'm eating this banana! Lunchtime be damned!" -Willow
"Yeah, that's me: reliable dog-geyser person." -Willow
"Look, I'm just trying to find my necklace." -Anya
"Did you try looking inside the sofa in Hell?" -Willow
"She was truly the best of all of us." -Giles
"Way better than me." -Xander
"Much, much better." -Giles
"Geez, who died? Aww, who died?" -Willow
"Say, you all didn't happen to do a bunch of drugs, didja?" -Willow
"...and nobody gets hurt!" -Vamp henchman #1
"Why don't I believe him?" -Angel
"Well, he lacks credibility." -Oz
"This is a dumb world. In my world, there are people in chains and we can ride them like ponies." -vamp!Willow
Enemies [s3, e17]
So, from what I gather, it would appear that the Sunnydale cinemaplex plays pornos? Them standing in the streets kissing is always a little misleading. I always think that it's the scene where Faith shoots Angel with the poison arrow from the rooftop. That's a couple episodes away, I guess. I really like the demon guy that B&F meet in the cemetery. He's such a charming, charismatic guy. He's like a quick-talkin', clever early version of Clem. With much less dangly skin.
I know it's taken me a lot of episodes to mention this, but the theme song for this show is just about the most rockin' one I can think of off the top of my head. Right up there with Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Faith seems to always be real put off by the Mayor's optimism and friendliness. That is one of my favorite things about him. I mean, yeah, he's one of the biggest [haha, pun later] bad guys that the Gang has ever fought, but my god, he's one of the best.
Poor friendly demon-guy. I know he was bribing them into giving them the books, but he was gonna use the money to get out of town in case they couldn't stop the ascension. Survival, man. That didn't work out for him so well, though, did it? :[ It's going to be really hard to find this demon. Wesley is always wrong about everything. Ugh. And Cordy being gross again. Creepy little schoolgirl flirting.
One thing I never understood, that people keep referencing-- if Buffy dies again that a new Slayer would be called. But the thing is, she dies again at the end of season five [sorry, but it doesn't count as a spoiler if it's been twelve years] and no new Slayer gets called. Now, this leads me to believe that since Buffy already died once, and had a Slayer called in her place, her line has already ended and can't be "restarted" or whatever. It's never actually explained, I guess.
lol Angel punching Xander. I feel so much better about things now.
Another thing that's never been explained is the fact that, okay, it's the nineties, and if you're a woman in the 90's that's supposed to be a badass of some kind, you have to own at least one pair of leather pants. Faith owns red leather pants. Okay, that's all well and good. But this episode, she's wearing a red leather SHIRT. Like, long-sleeved, collared, button-up shirt. That can't smell good at the end of a fight. Her wardrobe is something pretty atrocious to begin with.
"You had to tie me up to beat me. There's a word for people like you: Loser." -Buffy
That's totally true, one of the biggest, saddest things in the entire world. Faith always talks about Buffy thinking she's so much better than Faith. Well, hasn't she proven it time and time again? Having a conscience, not murdering people in cold blood, not needing to tie Faith up to beat her.
Hey, Wesley, maybe no one told you anything because the last time you were privy to any kind of knowledge, you fucked it up. You're an idiot, and you have no authority. And, hey, Buffy, Angel DID only do what you asked, what the two of you planned. So how about not punishing him like he did something wrong. If you ask me, he deserves some kind of gold star for being such an amazing actor, and a platinum star for taking one for the team and kissing Faith. Ew. Gross.
Earshot [s3, e18]
I love love love this episode. Wesley is a smarmy dick. I'm suprised Cordelia even knows how to spell well enough to be a cheerleader. lol Principal Snyder has "Walk Like An Egyptian" stuck in his head. Mind-reading, though it would have totally come in handy in high school, but I really don't think that's the kind of super-power I'd want. I don't want to know what people are thinking. I already hate people. I don't want to make it worse.
I do wish so much that Buffy could've gotten into Oz's mind a bit more. His thoughts are so complex and wonderful, and we only actually get to hear two separate thoughts. There is one good thing about Cordelia-- she literally says exactly what's on her mind. By the way, Jonathan has been in several episodes of Buffy thus far, but this is the first one where he plays a major role. I love him so, so much. Even when he's part of the Trio in season six, he's fantastic. And he makes me want to cry a lot, especially in this episode.
I remember that this episode was shown out of order from where it was supposed to actually be shown because around the same time it was supposed to come on, Columbine happened. I guess it would have been a bit tacky to show a kid in a high school with an assault rifle the week after a school shooting. Apparently the season finale was also preempted, according to wikipedia. Luckily, we didn't have internet and no real way of knowing exactly when each episode was supposed to come on tv back in the day. I'm pretty sure I was spending a LOT of time watching the WB anyway, so I'd wind up seeing it eventually. But with things like Supernatural, if I didn't have a DVR to record it for me, I'd never see it. I'm not even sure what day of the week it comes on anymore. Used to be Thursdays. Yeah, around the time this season was on tv, I was watching the WB every night of the week.
I think it's pretty cool that Larry, the jock-head, came out of the closet and started being nicer to people. And it's also pretty cool that Freddy Iverson looks way more likely to be gay than Larry, and they specifically state that he isn't. They don't do a lot of discriminating on this show, as far as looks go.
Hey, if you're only planning to kill yourself, why would you bring a giant fucking rifle? Just a question. Oh and I totally forgot that Xander ends up being the one to save the day, and an entire cafeteria full of students. Buffy didn't really completely get over her shallowness, as shown by the fact that she wouldn't consider going to prom with Jonathan because "he's like three feet tall." Buffy is like, my height, so she's not doing so great in the height area, either. Either way, Jonathan is adorable, and maybe, just maybe, had Buffy gone to prom with him, he'd never have ended up being an arch-rival. I wouldn't go so far as to say nemesis, because.. well, come on. If he didn't have Andrew and Warren on his side, he probably couldn't have done any of those things. I know he was a powerful witch-guy by mid-season four, but he should've learned his lesson. And maybe if Buffy had given him his "moment in the sun" at prom, he wouldn't have done the whole desperate-need-for-attention magic spell that got people killed. Ugh, whatever.
"You had sex with Giles? YOU HAD SEX WITH GILES? ...on the hood of a police car?! TWICE?!" -Buffy
"I'm so out, I got my grandma fixin' me up with guys." -Larry
Choices [s3, e19]
I know that Cordelia's family is having some financial issues right now, even though they haven't stated it yet, but to be honest, I could not care less. She didn't have any part in MAKING that money, she just spent and spent and spent her daddy's cash, and now that there isn't any left, she's all pissy and feels entitled to treating people like shit, even moreso than usual. Fucking asshole. She deserves to be broke.
Oz is super stoic, even in the face of the love of his life having been kidnapped by evil. I love love love that he destroys the potion so that they really only have the option of trading the box for Willow. Problem solved. I love you, Oz. Suck it, Wesley, you steel-hearted stinky robot man.
Levitating pencils, even if it's the only trick you got up your sleeve, really comes in handy when you're being held hostage and guarded by a vampire who is trying to suck your neck blood.
I know that he's her Watcher and everything, but why didn't Buffy ever just beat the shit out of Wesley one time? You know, just once, because he really, really deserves it. What's he gonna do? Call the cops on her? Probably just curl into a ball and cry his girly little face off. How many times has Willow helped save the world? Lots. And she'll continue to do so for the rest of the series [except for that one time]. How many times has Wesley? Not even the once. I guess that every show needs a few characters that are just completely wretched or.. I don't know, it would get boring or something. Whatever.
"You... All of you.. Why couldn't you be dealing drugs like normal people?" -Snyder
"Of the two people here, which is the boss of me?" -Willow
The Prom [s3, e20]
Buffy is super thoughtless when it comes to opening curtains in the home of her vampire boyfriend. But yay, Anya's back! Buffy writing Buffy&Angel4Ever on her notebooks is like the only sign of her being a real-life high school girl. Oh yeah I totally forgot that the kid that raises the hellhounds to attack the prom is supposed to be Andrew's older brother, Tucker. They really only mention that once and it's later on down the road, but hey.. connections.
Dear Angel- For future reference, do not tell a girl, "We need to talk, but not here." Because yes you will be talking about it RIGHT THERE. And when "right there" happens to be a sewer, that's where she's going to remember you breaking up with her, for the rest of her life.
While I don't actually care about Buffy/Angel in general, their breakup is really, really heart-wrenching. And even worse is the scene where she goes to talk to Willow about it, and there's this whole couple of sentences that she says that affects me more than almost anything else on the whole show. Sarah Michelle Gellar's acting is in rare form in this episode. I think horrible is still coming. Right now, it's worse. Right now, I'm just trying to keep from dying. ... I can't breathe, Will. I feel like I can't breathe. The first time I saw that after the worst breakup of my life, I must've watched that one little scene about twenty times, just crying my face off, and feeling like I was going to die.
Even when we're supposed to be feeling bad for Cordy, in the scene where she's telling Xander about her money woes, she still comes off as the most arrogant, idiotic, holier-than-thou-and-thou's-nametag. Even when she's at her lowest, where she should be humbled, she's ranting and raving about like, how she's doing things that are so beneath her. Like working part-time at a high-fashion store is so disgusting. What's sad is that besides this, she really never has to work in her entire life. I think she has some kind of catering job or something at the beginning of Angel: the Series, but then she starts "working" for Angel Investigations, and has pretty much the easiest job in the history of the world, right up until she dies. I just want to kick her corpse.
Looking at her from the beginning of the third season, to the end of the third season, Buffy almost looks like an entirely different person. Way, way more grown-up. Hey, Xander, it really does show that you're a bigger, better person than Cordelia when you bought her a dress that she really didn't fucking deserve. Most of the time, I really, really love you, X. And she does look spectacularly gorgeous in that dress. I never really noticed before, because I was a bit too distracted by Willow's rack. Hubba-hubba.
Aww, Jonathan did get a date to the prom. And she's a looker, too. I have to say, the hellhounds on Buffy are way less terrifying than the ones on Supernatural. Maybe that's because the ones on Supernatural are invisible. They could look like anything. But their growls are scarier, and they seem a whole lot bigger. In fact, the Buffy hellhounds look a lot like the Buffy werewolves.
The guy that played Tucker Wells looked real familiar, so I looked him up, and apparently he does the singing voice for Jonathan in the season four episode "Superstar." Weird. Doesn't explain why he looks so familiar, but whatever, cool trivia.
Jonathan giving Buffy her award is one of the absolute best things to happen in the entire high school storyline. Thank goodness she gets some sort of recognition for all of the shit she does for people. That scene, combined with the next scene, where she dances with Angel to one of the prettiest covers in the entire world [Rolling Stone's "Wild Horses" as done by The Sundays], gives Buff that one perfect high school moment she was looking for. And the line "let's do some living after we die" is one of the most fitting for the show.
Hey, not ever really been that attracted to David Boreanaz, but he does look pretty damn good in a suit. And I really wish Alyson Hannigan and Seth Green would've married each other. I mean, they both seem pretty happy with their current spouses, but still.
"For god's sake, man, she's eighteen, and you have the emotional maturity of a blueberry scone. Just have at it, would you, and stop fluttering about."
Graduation Day- Pt 1 [s3, e21]
And it's arrived! The first half of the third season finale. The opening scene makes me feel nothing if not blessed that I didn't have a yearbook, and didn't get asked to sign many yearbooks, because of all the fake niceties, and false well-wishes.
It really bums me out that Faith survived her battle royale with Buffy, now that I've remembered that she killed that really nice professor without a hint of regret. She's pure evil. I don't really remember how she atones for her sins and is accepted back amongst the group in the seventh season. I do remember her coming back in season four, and stealing Buffy's body, and using it to fuck her boyfriend. ...How the hell did she get accepted back into the group? I guess I'll figure it out once we get there. It's slow-going at this point, though. I feel like I've been watching season three for, like a month now.
Willow and Oz finally doooo ittttt. ♥ Anya has feelings for the first time, and they're for Xander. ♥
I hate that Wesley says, "you can't turn your back on the council." Since when did the Council ever help out at all? They never did anything for anyone, besides get in the way. Annnd then Faith got stabbed. End part one.
"Guess who our commencement speaker is?" -Xander
"One of the tigers?" -Willow
Graduation Day- Pt 2 [s3, e22]
It's kind of awful that Buffy isn't awake to defend poor Angel. She kind of forced him to drink, he really didn't want to, but getting defensive isn't really going to help his case much. It's sucky that everyone's anti-Angel again.
Faith made her Little Miss Muffet reference, which is a reference to Dawn coming. Even though she doesn't show up til the beginning of season five. Just part of the genius that is Joss.
I know it's pretty terrifying, knowing what's going on [the whole ascension deal] but imagine what the rest of the graduating class must've been thinking when the Mayor changed into a giant snake. And goodbye, Snyder.
That's like, two high schools that Buffy has blown up now. It's a wonder that a college even allowed her on campus. I guess we're kinda done with season three. I didn't really have too much to say about that episode, huh? It would have been a good ending to the series, if it had to end, though. Goodbye, Angel. See you on your own show. [and in your guest spots in seasons four, five and seven.]
"I demand an explanation." -Cordelia
"For what?" -Xander
"Uhh. Inbreeding?" -Xander
Season four, coming soon to an LJ near you.