April 1st, 2006

(no subject)

Today was the best April Fool's Day ever.

Since we're not normally celebrator's of this usually overlooked holliday, we decided to go all out this year and have ourselves a fool-packed April Fool's Day, as fools should on every first day of April. Since I lack the ability to fool people convincingly without cracking up, I left most of the fooling to Bunny, who could really only hold herself in five seconds longer than I could. We began the trek through the long list of Bunny's phone book, and commensed the foolage.

Bunny's mother was doomed with the truth every mother hates to hear from their crying daughter on the other end of the line: "Mom, I don't want you to freak out, but I'm pregnant."

..."April Fools!"

And then it was Bob, who was bored in the Chicago airport waiting for his flight to board while he got some bad news from Bunny himself: "Bob, I got my test results back today from the clinic, and I just think you should know... I'm HIV positive."

..."April Fools!"

The laughter didn't seize, as we continued through the never ending list of close friends and possible ways we could scare the shit out of them with blatant cries of the immature wolf.

"Shane, we've known each other a long time now and I think there's something you really outta know about me. I'm really a man." Shane's response was a laughing, "Oh, really."

"Steve, I know how much you loved Alucard so I thought I would call to tell you. Um... Alucard fell out the window and got run over by the garbage truck." Steve's response, which we figured would be such considering his ridiculous obsession with our cat, was near tears and any kind of comforting words he could think of when he himself was on the verge of emotional breakdown.

Denis we tricked with the same HIV prank, but executed it so perfectly that we practically tore a chunk out of his soul and left him confused and melancholy for the rest of the day even after the revealing of our practical joke.

There were others. Bob called us with his monotone voice in the phone: "My plane doesn't have landing gear!" This began a series of phone calls to Bob over the period of his flight ever five minutes with new and more ridiculous lies.
"Bob, I don't love you! April Fools!"
"Bob, I tripped over the curb and broke my nose! April Fools!"
"Bob, a group of bikers came and stole the cat! April Fools!"
"Bob, they turned the UPS store down the street into a Hooters! April Fools!"
"Bob, I got the cat back but then this big dog came along and ate her! April Fools!"

Finally, to complete our wonderfully executed first day of April, Bob and I came home from our lovely sushi dinner to a note on the door:

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