December 27th, 2005

The Do's and Don'ts of Friends and Enemies.

So allow me to tell you a kinda funny story. First lets start by introducing you to two people: there's this girl that I do get along with and there's this girl that I don't get along with, and that's all you really need to know about my relationship with either. For whatever reason, out of my control, the girl that I don't get along with decided that she really coulnd't stand a single atom in my body because a year ago her main man Jon had made out with me, they'd since broken up, and, in her own words, I became a "dirty whore that tried to boost my ego by wearing way too much makeup," which is funny actually because I don't wear makeup. At all.

AAAANYWAY, so you must understand that there are significant similarities in the physical looks of the girl that I do get along with and the girl that I don't get along with, and upon seeing the girl that I don't get along with, I will often mistake her for the girl that I do get along with, until of course the girl that I do get along with shows up and I make the necessary corrections in my perception of the two. Now, also note that because the girl that I don't get along with hates me to such a great extent, I tend to stay out of her hair since realizing that friendship with this fiery one was virtually impossible. Basically, she's not shy about not liking me, so I try to stay out of the way; not talk to her, not give her any reason to be up front about how she feels, because frankly, I don't think she thinks I'm worth the breath and I don't think she's worth the ear space.

So like I said, they look alike, and usually I can tell them apart when they're in the same room, but when the girl I don't get along with is there without the girl that I do get along with, it takes me a couple of minutes to remember exactly who I'm dealing with. But then, of couse, after I've got a couple beers in me, or maybe a couple 40s, those couple minutes turn into a couple hours and a couple mishaps to recall the difference between the two. And when I spent the whole night before partying with the girl that I do get along with, and the next night the girl that I don't get along with shows up and I think for the whole night that she's the girl I do get along with and therefore act all buddy-buddy with her all night and don't bother to take note of the fact that she's completely ignoring me, it takes me a while to realize the idiotic move I've just made. Later in the night when the girl I do get along with actually did show up in a cute little orange jacket and the girl I don't get along with had long since left the festivities, I told the girl I do get along with about the mistake I'd made and how dumb I'd felt when I'd realized how I'd fucked up all night and she found it quite funny, never really noting the similarities between the two of them until I was absent-minded enough to point it out. I was the idiot of this story, plagued by embarassment and guilt for thinking that the girl that I don't get along with was actually the girl that I do get along with, and acting accordingly.