June 7th, 2005

(no subject)


Where do we go at the cut-off? What becomes of our existence when we leave one place and appear in another? What is it like to die, and be reborn again in the course of a day? If we have the ability to change our entire lives in one simple decision, humans must imagine that they have far greater capabilities with nothing more than travel. If there is nothing stopping us from stepping off a plane and changing our entire identities in order to erase a past we are unsatisfied with, what is stopping us from using similar methods of solution to solve our everyday problems?

We can delete ourselves. We can improve ourselves. We have the mental technology to die in a day and be reborn while carrying all our knowledge through reincarnation. Our mistakes turn into lectures we were tested on back in high school and passed, every A+ shining like a scar on our skin. Our regrets turn into stories we hear in the music we fall asleep to at night. All the wrong paths we took suddenly meet at the same place, and the road is paved perfectly straight again, all forks familiar so we can go the right directions this time around.

I have realized that humans have an incredible advantage when it comes to their own personalities, and their abilities to choose. We can grow in one place until our brains have a general idea of what we want to be. And when we know what we want to be, we can become it. We can show up in a place where nobody knows the identity attached to the name we grew by, and we can start over, being everything we spent years deciding we wanted to be. We can grow up being products of our mistakes, gaining knowledge towards those ultimate shoes we wish to fill. And then we can fill them.

As of July 5th, my name will no longer be Rachel. The alphabet will start again at A and find itself at Z much slower and steadier. Past vices will be retired and I can carry with me only the things I don't regret being associated with. I can make up my own history; choose my own adventure and pick different options this time. I can erase these years that have tagged me with my reputation, and I can pretend that I know no such places as the ones I have secretly spent my whole life populating. Some may say this is an escape route; a lie. But I say that it is simply using the past as a tool to perfect the future. On July 5th, all those that know me now can consider me dead. All those on the other side of this life can consider me the New Mylo Severance: A Brilliance born yesterday.