May 24th, 2005

(no subject)

Fighting you is like fighting myself. Fighting you is like gutting my own twin; my younger sister, and you are the hardest and the most passionate to hate. When I hate you, it's no normal hate. It's aggressive and hot blooded and blistering. It burns every inch of me, heating through my fingertips and fuming through my nostrils. When I hate you, it's what hate is supposed to be.

It's because everything you have done with yourself has been inspired by me. Everything you have become is a miniature of me. Everything you are is a lesser version of me, because I have always been your role model, your stimulation, your big sister and best friend. Every idea you've ever had has already been mine, and everything you say is originally stirred by me. You, my little friend, are a product of my brilliance, and you have never been shy of flaunting that. You never had to give credit where credit was worth, because everybody already knew all you wanted to be was me.

And getting into a smack-down battle of words with you is guarunteed to be fierce. You do everything that hits me the deepest below my skin, and it hurts only because I avenge with the same attack. You obviously picked up my methods of strike and assault somewhere along the line, and I can see you paid close attention because your hits hurt. It all hurts. The things you say to your little crowd and the way they listen and hang on every word. The way you hold yourself and the way you know when people are looking at you, and the way you rub it in everyone's face. The things you do regardless of everything wrong with it. It all hurts, because it's like watching myself act like a total bitch. I hate myself for teaching you such methods, but I hate you more for not acting upon them in a more attractive manner. I hate myself for being progressive enough to inspire you, but I hate you more for posing, and even more so for doing a poor job.

I hate you, little twin. I hate you, my little mini-me. It's a good hate, a bad hate, and a burning hate. I'll admit that your attacks hurt, but that really only makes retaliation feel that much better.