VIVA LA JOY. (_bulldoze) wrote,

This is Drunkie's Cab.

The scrawny kid with brown pants followed me to the yellow cab I had just pulled over and had every intention of getting into and riding home to the other side of the city. I noticed he was following me from the corner of the street that he had initially stumbled over to and looked at me awkwardly from, and I turned around and said, "I don't know where you're going, but I'm getting in this cab and I'm paying with a card." Regardless, he got in the cab with me and immediately slumped his head, relaxed his lips, and closed his eyes. The cab driver looked over his shoulder at Drunkie sitting in his seat next to me and I just kind of hunched my shoulders at his curious glance.

"I'm going to 4th and Bryant, but I don't know about this guy," I said.

"You guys are together?" the driver asked.


"Yes," the scrawny boy interrupted.

"No. We're not," I finished.

The cab driver looked confused for a second until the light turned green and he then said, "Well then he needs to get out of my cab." Fairly certain that Drunkie here didn't even have the fare for a cab, I planned on keeping the cab I had so patiently pulled over and waiting for the boy to crawl out of the door he'd practically crawled through and wait on the corner for his own turn. But it soon became apparent that he was too drunk to function, as he made no move to open the door, despite the cab driver continuing to order him as he was holding up traffic at the light. Eventually, the driver got out of the car and went over the other door to pull the kid out, but at that point he started to talk.

"We're going to the same place!" he yelled. Sure, he was adorable, but such things were simply not true.

"No we're not," I laughed again, fairly entertained by the entire situation even though my friendly cab driver was freaking out on the other side of the car. "I'm gonna get out and wait for another. Take this kid," I finished.

Drunkie looked at me with his eyes like bloody slits perfectly symmetrical on his nicely structured face. Unfortunately, he was to such a point with his inebriation that it was virtually impossible for me to picture or imagine what this guy was like without twice his weight in alcohol sloshing in his stomach. He kept his eyes fixated on me for as long as he could before they closed again and he raised his finger and moved his point between the two of us, motioning our so-called connection beyond the black leather seat of the taxicab. "I thought there was a..." But he sunk his head and relaxed his lips again before he had the energy or sobriety to finish his sentence, with the cab driver still yanking at his sleeve with the door open and the traffic waiting.

A what? A thing? A connection? A bond? An attraction? A seduction? A mood? A fling? A request? A magic trick? A giraffe? A dollar? An armrest? Because I may have liked to see it if you weren't looking so drunk that you might-

And at that moment, he pushed the cab driver out of the way of the crack between the door and the pavement and threw up an entire waterfall of alcohol all over the ground, just avoiding the steel-toed boots of the cab driver. I swore I had never witnessed this amount of vomit come from anybody's mouth in my entire life of drinking like a fish, and before I even though to say another word, I jumped out of the cab through the other door, threw myself to the curb, watched Drunkie fall from the cab and onto the opposite curb, and the cab driver careen around the corners of the cab, into his seat again, and drive away through two red lights as fast as he could, with a trail of seven or eight cars still honking behind him. I covered my mouth as I laughed uncontrollably at Drunkie on the other side of the street that had become so drunk that he had officially forgotten about the girl in the cab that he'd shared something with, something still unknown to me. I laughed so hard completely by myself that my eyes started to water, at which point a friendly homeless woman came up to me and said she had hailed a yellow cab for me on the other side of the street, which I promptly hopped into with an eager, "4th and Bryant, please."

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