February 5th, 2005

:(

hmmm now im not in a good mood. My mum called and said she cant get the camera because its out of stock or something. which also means no camera for rammstein and my mums banned my sister from lending me hers as a 'punishment for losing yours' - i didnt lose the damn thing i gave it charlotte for the sole purpose that i didnt want to lose it and she had a bag and she lost it or it got stolen.
I also dont want to work the early shift tomorrow because jordan wont be working so its just me and if its really busy like last week im screwed. but i dont have a choice now. i need the money anyway.

And just to make things worse i was actually perfectly happy in a relationship way for once and then just as things are going fine i suddenly get alex on msn last night going into a big discussion for no reason about how he wished hed had a chance with me 2 years ago and then started reminissing on how we were - it was 2 years ago theres no reason to suddenly start talking about it now. Then about 10 minutes later ben starts texting me sayin he still loves me and wants to get back together sometime and went into a whole explanation about his thoughts on things which are scarily the same as mine were well kinda are but its too late now. and none of this paragraph is probably going to make sense to anyone but im posting it anyway.

My friend alix was back in town today. Apparently hed been sent to a mental institute which was why i havent seen him in ages. Hes not a good friend just one i talk to in town occaisionally. But then he started asking about me an kd an then said something about oh yeah kd cheats on you like every other week or something which i really dont beleive but i guess it could be true. He doesnt really know kd anyway an yeah alix is weird an well yeah i just dont beleive some stuff he says. But hey he said hed keep an eye on kd for me when im not there and that hed buy me drinks next time im out so its not all bad.

i cant go out tonight :( i cant beleive this ive been out of the house once in the past week apart from school. i wanna go out next saturday but charlotte wants me to go to the bleeding through gig but she hasnt got tickets yet. I havent been out at night in at least 2 weeks :( and im bored outta my mind. i should revise for the exams on monday perhaps since im busy all tomorrow.
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