We gotten closer and under much resistance grew an inevitable connection with said PLI (potential love interest)
which some may consider foolish, considering how my last relationship resulted in
(cowardly lion roaring about how we are meant to be, things got intense, he disappeared without a word or a clue)
I guess since my suicide attempt I haven't so much felt like myself, I grew a chemical dependency more than ever before.
New years wasn't something I looked forward to, so much unnecessary drama and the ending of friendships
in which i somewhat enjoyed, but im used to it, but im getting off topic.
my PLI pretty much cut me off, I think out of fright whenever he opened up to me while being
on a decent amount of opiate. regretted it, felt very shameful, lost hope and told me he wanted to end his life.
It devastated me because I had hope for us, but is that all life is, enforcing myself to feel hope so I can move on for another day?
I need to find it within myself before believing in someone else.
I also need to trust my gut.
Infection: Avoid the Unhappy and Unlucky
You can die from someone else’s misery – emotional states are as infectious as disease. You may feel you are helping the drowning man but you are only precipitating your own disaster. The unfortunate sometimes draw misfortune on themselves; they will also draw it on you. Associate with the happy and fortunate instead.
never truer words spoken, oh robert green.
but a part of me says its an excuse, he will get on with his life, but that was a shitty way of telling me to piss off.
I'm stronger than this.
But I still miss him, I felt myself having some what of a craving for him tonight..
I'm planning to drop acid, but I'm kind of nervous about it, hulligentics aren't really my cup of tea but I'm very curious to try it.
lets see how it unfolds.
I some how got hired to be a server at gold corral within 4 days of unemployment, Boss Sergeio gave me a glowing recommendation despite the fact I basically quit and gave them the finger (MIDDLE SKEWL STYLE YALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)
but a good worker is a good worker..
I've also decided my career path.
For a while I wanted to become a psychiatrist, but in most recent events I've been talking to people from all walks of life
and I realized something - I would rather be a therapist, all in all I want to help people,
make them realize things
and give them advice and devices to get them through their life,
or even through the day when handling
a copious amount of stressors, rather then being a psychiatrist and handing out pills to
temporary fix to something permanent.
I'm very much set on this, people recommend me to go into cosmetology school but I found it to be more of a leisure than a career path, plus id be making much more decent coin, this is my passion yall!
I'm really set on this, wish me luck!
( Collapse )