*AnGeLiNa* (_beautiful1_) wrote,

I finished one of the greatest books I ever read before. Sometimes reading can set my mind into another transformation, This quote I took from the book really shooked my nerves, in a good upbeat kind of way.
"I guess we are who we are for alot of reasons. And maybe we'll never know most of them. But even if we don't have the power to choose where we come from, we can still choose where we go from there. We can still do things. And we can try to to feel ok about them."

The stuff we read, we intake, and sometimes we can make sense of what the author is trying to come across, even if it isn't the same meaning, sometimes it can help up revise ourself portrits. I want to grasp everything I read now, and let it help influence my life, I want to work towards building up my future instead of causing more turmoil for it. I just really now have my heart set on what I want to do. I am however a little sketchy about moving to Indiana where I know absolutley no one. And as of right now, I dont want to stay in florida because I dont want to be attracted to my past-memoires. which already is eating at me somewhat. I'm not in love with anyone, this i've told everyone so far, but the love that I share inside with others, is not the exact love that can keep the fire burning. The love is from my past being shared with these special people, and I dont want that again. I know this for certian now, after the time Ive spend revising this all in my head. I want just a friendship, without emotional up-roars. I dont want to be close and passionate to those. just friends.
I want to live my life accourding to my own delicacy. I'm not hear for a love game that causes drama or break peace within my family. Love is not my most prominent priority, my family and education is.
I'm choosing a different step in life now. Something Ive never really though I could do before. Well I've made 360*degree turns in alot of sisuations, i can still keep on that roll.
I am sorry if you might have thought things could overcome, but my personal reflection doesn't see you in my life like that. I'm to overloaded to have a minor dragging me down. I am not speaking in tounge. and my games are not games, they are decisions that I have finally made loud and clear.
A friendship is my only desire to endure those in. and thats including all.

I am shaken will I think about college, only being an 11th grader graduating, but it shows massive improvements over the couple months Ive been away. I dont want to loose that. Leaving for indiana, I know I will become homesick, and miss my family, my dear friends, and I am somewhat scared that I will be alone, and unable to make it. But I will work through it to achieve my goals. Indiana is the only place I wanted to go, so why give that up now. I will be fine, and that is my decision. My family see's this as a big committment, and they are terrifyed for my sakes to go up there. But I am determined and ready.

"The cup is half way full"
"Not half way empty"

Thats how I have to keep strutting

night =D
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