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Thursday, August 17th, 2006

Subject:Summer days are gone too soon...
Time:2:11 am.
Mood: nostalgic.
I leave for college in 8 days.

And I just started to get suuuuuper excited.

But I'm kind of scared at the same time...

Lauren, Danah and KTB all leave the same day...biggest blow everrrr.

But I guess on the brightside itll give me time to get everything done next week. And actually see my family, whom I've barely seen all summer.

I think I learned a lot this summer.

Kind of weird how within one year how much relationships can change. How you can be extremely close with someone and then feel as though you barely know them. Or vice verca.

But I guess it all works out in the end

This summer was prettttttty awesome.

But I think I'm finally ready...

Or at least I hope that I am.

I need to write one of those AHHHHTHISISWHATIDIDTHISSUMMER lists

why is facebook so addicting?

Why am I suddenly nocturnal?

I'm so tiiiired.

I don't think I'm making any sense in this entry

The end I'm going to sleeep
1 Brokeaway Make a wish

Friday, June 23rd, 2006

Time:8:37 pm.

everyone is invited so COOOMMMMEEE!!!!!!!
Starts at 12pm, 54 Monahan Lane, and it's a pool party (don't worry, it'll be heated) so bring ya trunks!

Make a wish

Monday, April 24th, 2006

Subject:HI QUESTIONN!!!!
Time:4:38 pm.

for rooming arrangements next year...I can opt for an all girl's floor or a mixed-sex floor (INCLUDING bathrooms)

Any advice as to which one I should go with?
13 Brokeaway Make a wish

Monday, April 10th, 2006

Subject:HOKAY so.
Time:8:57 pm.
Mood: relieved.
I am officially going to Brandeis next year.
And i am officially excited.
And i most def have some official "gut-feelings" about this.
And now I am done being official.

I feel like I just had a 457842694287 lb weight lifted off my chest
And mannn does it feel goood :0)

Thank you soooo much to everyone who comforted/helped/dealt with me over the past 8 months
Especially this past week when I pretty much hit rock bottom (or is it bottem?)

Debra Messing went to Brandeis. Zat is pretty sweet you might say.

Summer is in no less than 46 days (including weekends and vacation)
Thaaannnnnkkkkk Gaaaawwwwwwddd.
Seriously, I could NOT repeat this past year again.
If for some reason there was a 13th grade, I would most likely drop out.
Whoever said that junior year is the hardest obviously had some serious misconceptions (or just didn't apply to college or take calculus..)
High School was fun. It was wonderful, marvelous, amazing, unforgettable fun.
And now it needs to END

Mmmm we have a bigo meeto tomorrow. I must run fast, for once.
as well as some sleep!
Bye! :)
3 Brokeaway Make a wish

Wednesday, April 5th, 2006

Subject:wicked cool-ness
Time:10:37 pm.
Mood: aggravated.
Dear Brianna,

The Admissions Committee has carefully considered your application for admission for the Fall 2006 Semester. At this time, your current academic record is not strong enough to grant full admission to American University. We do believe, however, in your commitment to succeed at American and therefore would like to extend an invitation to you to begin your enrollment at American as a non-degree student.

Enrollment as a non-degree student will provide you with personalized advising, participation in our New Student Orientation and the opportunity to live on campus. You will register for regular academic courses and up to 30 semester hours of undergraduate course work taken in non-degree status may be applied toward a degree. After successful completion of at least 24 semester hours, we will reconsider your enrollment status.

If you wish to accept our offer to enroll as a non-degree student beginning in the Fall 2006 Semester, please complete the enclosed Enrollment Agreement and Housing Application Form and return it in the envelope provided along with the required deposit. We look forward to having you at American University and hope you will take advantage of this opportunity to further your educated goals.


This freakin school. First a “YEAH WE'LL GET YOU IN FREE RIDE, NO PROBLEMO!”. Then a rejection letter. Then an acceptance letter. Then a HA-sorry-we-take-back-the-acceptance-letter-and-now-you're-deferred letter. And now this. Hmm.

So first off...wtf is a non-degree student?! Isn't the point of attending college to get a degree? And I would still be paying...for classes..that don't even directly count towards a degree?...Does anyone else see anything weird about this?!

And friggin American...ok maybe if you were a freakin Ivy League hidiho or something, ok, my grades aren't that amazing, I understand. But I was CLEARLY ABOVE QUALIFIED for your freakin school. And somehow Brandeis managed to let me in. Annnnd you suck.

Ok aannnnnd ending the ventage ----> NOW.
5 Brokeaway Make a wish

Tuesday, April 4th, 2006

Time:10:03 pm.
If I get into American, I think I still want to go there. If not, I think I'll be at Brandeis.

I failed Calc this term...like failed failed. Like a 58. Literally.

umm I kinda suck at life right now.

I had a good work out today yay.

My head hurts from all this stress-acheage.

I have 122 new emails in my box. Maybe I should go read them...

Or not. I hate college.

Emilya left me a voicemail. I think I'll go listen to it.

Can I sleep now?

NO i need to write a psych paper. Yeah, that one that was due last Friday.

I ate icecream today. boo.

I haven't watched mean girls in a while..I miss it.

WHy didn't I get into AU the FIRST time I applied like I was supposed to?!?!?!


51 dayssss

friends i missss youuu

summer i neeed youu

hokay gnight.
4 Brokeaway Make a wish

Sunday, April 2nd, 2006

Subject:For Emilya (and my mental well being)
Time:11:01 pm.

cost (One Year, On-Campus)= $40,428 - $12,000 = $28,428
small (3000ish undergrads)

+very reputable school
-very jewish
+/- DIII program, no direct scholarship $ available, but would allow me to do other things besides just track.
+ the other schools in their competing league are all over the country from California to Chicago to New York. Which means traveling.
+ Coach Evans coaches his wife who competes nationally for Ireland and runs extremely fast. Which means that he knows what he's doing.
+ And he's just really nice. And seems to actually want me there.
+ I'd be training with a girl that I've run against (with pretty much the same times) for the past few years so I know we'd be able to push each other
+ I wouldn't be the fastest one on the team but I wouldn't be the slowest either.
+ right next to train/hourly shuttle into Boston
+/- pretty close to home
+/- not a very big party school
+ pretty good/open theatre/music stuff


cost (One Year, On-Campus)= $31,714 - $3,000 = 28714
medium (8000ish undergrads)

+ really, really pretty
+/- big party school
+ everyone seems really nice
- - COLLLDDD!!! Like colder-than-Boston cold
+/- 3 ½ hrs away...
+/- really big team..all seemed really nice. But I might get frustrated and then lost and blah
- i think I'd get reeeealllly distracted...
+ emilya's there! :)
+ from what I hear, theatre program is good
- track practice at 7AM every morning.

well first off, I'm waitlisted...but hypothetically speaking if I got in...

cost (One Year, On-Campus)= $37,830 (financial aid?)
big (14000ish undergrads)

+++ In Boston
+ 5yr program (with direct internships)
+/- great journalism school..but do I really want to go into journalism?
+ has pretty much every major I would ever consider. Ever.
+ so much to do in the city
- the coach never replied to my emails...and the UML coach called me and told me that the Northeastern coach had recommended me to him..and that Northeastern wouldn't recruit me solely because they only wanted kids from cities. And that's weird.
+/- Big team, really good. Might get lost/distracted


cost (One Year, On-Campus)= $36,830 (financial aid?)
medium (6000ish)

+ really pretty campus
- kinda in the middle of nowhere
+ awesome English/journalism/broadcast/theatre programs
+ really cool program with internships in California for a semester..
+/- DIII school
- team isn't really that good...
+ Coach is really nice

College hurts my head. A lot. And I love how FASFA seems to think I can afford $30,000 a year. No, I'm sorry, I cannot. And this deciison-ness is making me sick. Literally. And I don't think I am spelling decision right but yeah. I will probably add to this later. As in tomorrow. After I sleep. If I can sleep. Smeh.
3 Brokeaway Make a wish

Time:8:52 pm.
I think that i am going to go to Brandeis next (well, this) year.
I intended on writing an entire plus/cons thingy to all my college choices but im suddenly not in the mood
Maybe later?
Make a wish

Tuesday, March 21st, 2006

Subject:i just ate an entire bag of milano cookies.
Time:8:49 pm.
this is not cool
Obsession = bad stuff
I really need to stop this.
Before I get really sick. or die or something.
just kidding i dont think i could get that extreme
i hope not
but seriously
i need to balance out this self control issue
this is sickening

my head hurrrts

perhaps this will help.

i hate food

emilya is freakin twenty. how insane is that

there is no friggin celery in this house. why does my mother insist on buying icecream 3163jifjosdl761783178

i have issues thinking about the future

I really don't know what I'm going to do about college.
It's so damn expensive.
And as much as I've tried forcing myself into phys. therapy or something that will actually earn me money..
I can't do it.
I feel like I just need to perform in some way and if i don't I'm just selling myself short.
"Perform" sounds so corny. But I don't know how else to describe it.
I have no idea what I want to do.
I can't imagine living without music or racing.
They seem like such polar opposites..but it's funny how similar they really are.
But do I really want to go to school focusing on stuff I like, where there's pretty much NO monetary guarentee, only to come out with a 120,000+ loan and have to slave away to pay it back?
Should I find something that will actually get me money and suck it up and not be happy?
But then, what's the point of saving up for someday when today's here..
does that make any sense?
I just want to travel, perform, live, laugh, love and be happy.
Wow, that sounds so cliche.
But it's true
And I am ridiculously unrealistic
But what's realism worth anyway?
What's the use in playing it safe
Kait Brook's entry is pretty much the man.

I feel so confused
Like I have to make all these life decisions today.
Like I'm running out of time.


i love my friends.
and sleep.
3 Brokeaway Make a wish

Thursday, March 16th, 2006

Subject:i need the smell of summer...need its noises in my ears
Time:7:37 pm.
72 days aka 10 weeks (including weekends, days off and vacations). no more high school, please?

oh. but then there's college. ha, jk i'm not going

whoever said that junior year is the hardest is the biggest liar ever.

i hate senior year. i kinda sorta already had mine last year. this year feels pointless and just draaaggggsss onnnn.

kinda like these sentences.

spring track starts next week yaaayayayayayy

ew i need to stop eating

why did i ever think id be able to pass calculus 2nd semester senior year?

Dear nice-weather, I NEEEEEED YOUUUUUU!!!!

and i need the bahamas too. now.

and i miss people

and some people are really not cool

and some people i love more than life like whoaa.

and if you see me even reaching for anything besides celery you should punch me and tell me to go run, k? k.

i am soo tired.

and did i mention that i'm never going to college?


april vacation is in 4 weeks <333

im really going to fail calc. this is bad.

diana is giving me her notebook and i love her.

my ankle hurts

i want to go to the beach. right now.

lowell, stop calling me i don't want to come to your school.

american i haate you why cant you accept meee dammnittt


i miss lizmicale. a lot.

i think i'm going to throw up.

or sleep.

i need to run fast this year.

missing out on scholarship $$$ because youre 2seconds above the required time because you've been freakin injured forever is really not cool.

i'm not going to college.

I saw roxibabby at panera the other day for the first time in about 31673561873 years.

she is pretty much the bombette.

why are you reading all of this?

gahhh lauren pick up your phone

i miss singing

and ballet

and jazz

and shows

and spin-the-bottle-slow-dance-style at crook's 6th grade bash <333

i can't even start my scholarship apps because they all ask which school you want to go to

i really need to break 2:20. at least.

and 120. ya89dyahsudy89adhiad

i just cleaned my room and you can actually see the floor. for the first time in years

no joke.

Allie Zahka i miss youu.

emilya's coming home and i miss her <33

and then she's going to be 20

we're all getting so old..

this is making my head hurt and i smell so shower time bye!
7 Brokeaway Make a wish

Monday, January 2nd, 2006

Subject:HOKAY. So.
Time:9:47 pm.
The BU Deadline is tomorrow. heelllpp mee pleeease. this needs to be out by midnight. Any suggestions/sense of direction and I will love you forever

We would like to know, in no more than 500 words, what experiences have led you to select your professional field and objective (Journalism)

They say that curiosity killed the cat. If this is true, I am in for one wild ride.

As a child, I was what any exhausted mother would classify as their worst nightmare: the interrogator. “Why” was my first word, my mother painfully likes to recount. As years flew by, my obsessions switched from “Curious George” to “Harriet the Spy”, and before she knew it, my mother was bombarded with phone calls from aggravated neighbors begging her to keep her “sneaky kid and her notebooks out of their bushes”. Eventually I was forced to retire the spy gear out of courtesy and the sad realization that fourteen year olds peeking through windows and writing what they saw was seen as slightly more than creepy. Yet my hunger for knowledge was not extinguished.

You should help me so I can be done and finally update this thing for REAL and not college in it. Ok bye <3!
3 Brokeaway Make a wish

Saturday, December 24th, 2005

Time:12:12 am.
Mood: blah.
So I didn't get in to American.
And I guess that being told that you'll get in/a free ride at a school means nothing.
And I guess I'm just too gullible.
And I have less than a week to find somewhere else to go.
Except I don't want to go anywhere else.
I really wanted DC and telecommunications and track.
Why did I open that stupid letter.
And why did they send it to me the day before Christmas.
Why is this getting to me this badly.
Why can't I stop whining.
Bah humbug I hate you.
And this really really really hurts.

Everything happens for a reason?

Merry Christmas.
3 Brokeaway Make a wish

Thursday, December 22nd, 2005

Time:11:08 pm.
Mood: dizzy.
I just speed-wrote an essay in exactly an hour. I don't care how much it sucks. And I don't care if it's a little less than 4 pages. IT IS FREAKIN DONE AND NOW I CAN HAVE VAAAACAAAATIONNN YAYYYY!!!!

um this is my essay. it's weird.Collapse )

So I love winter and I love track and I love having my friends in the same zip code again and I love how in 9 days I will (possibly) be done with colleging fo ev aaaar and I love how I AM DONE WITH ALL FORMS OF SCHOOL WORK FOR AT LEAST 5 DAYS and I love how I am so unbelievably overtired right now and I love how I am babbling and I love christmas and Ralphie and his Red Ryder, carbine action, two-hundred shot range model air rifle and how he shoots his eye out and ohmygodineedsleep?!

ok BYE!
Make a wish

Sunday, December 11th, 2005

Subject:haha i am just way too cool
Time:10:02 pm.
You Are Dancer

Carefree and fun, you always find reasons to do a happy dance.

Why You're Naughty: That dark stint you had as Santa's private dancer.

Why You're Nice: You're friendly. Very friendly.
2 Brokeaway Make a wish

Monday, November 28th, 2005

Subject:my life in bullets:
Time:9:55 pm.
Mood: distressed.
scratch that, no bullets - stars because they're prettier:

* the past 2 weekends were prettty sweet. I love friends a lot. I miss having them within the same zip code all the time. Especially trackstaas - I miss having friendly people to suffer with everday. Wow I'm a selfisho , jeebus let them move on, Brianna.

* everyone's moving on in their collegelands. Which is really awesome. I'm kinda sick of Mansfield. Ready set let me move on too?

* Oh and we can move on as much as we want but we are never ever losing touch. ever. <3

* Admissions for UVM are available online now. But my login isn't working. Boo computer and boo suspense.

* I reallly hope I get money to American. Actually, I should really hope I get in too. Because I'm starting to realize that it won't be easy to get out of my ED contract if I can't afford it. baahhh

* I'm going for an overnight at Brandeis this weekend. Which will probably be super awkward. And I don't even really like the school, I just liked the coach. And he was super nice to me and I don't want to let him down without giving the school a try.

* Note to self: Consider not going to college and living as a professional icecream taster?

* I got invited to run for NE at "Down Under International Games" in Australia this summer. And I want to go super super baddd.

* Oh but wait, I have to pay $90374892346289746274 for college.

* But Australiiaa? that's once in a lifetime, right?

* I got in my first car accident this weekend (well, not counting my little hit-and-run incident in the bank parking lot...) Everyone escaped with their lives, although my bank account probably won't

* Winter Track started today. Yayyy I love winter. And I love track.

* Christmas is SUPER SOOOONNN!!!!!!! and time goes by reeeeeallly fast.

* hmmm I love my friends.

* I lost my train of thought. and now I'm rambling.

* The school show this year is Fiddler On the Roof. Haaa I'm not really sure what to think of this...

* When/if you have kids, you should seriously consider naming it Brea or Breo. Seriosuly.

* There's a place in California named BREA. Maybe I should live there?

* I am truly sleep deprived.

* I still have an english paper to write.

* mmmm ending rant now. goodbye.
4 Brokeaway Make a wish

Wednesday, November 16th, 2005

Subject:Would you not like to be sitting on top of the world with your legs hanging free?
Time:8:16 pm.
Mood: chipper.
Man, I wish I said cool quotes like dave mathhews.

Today I chopped off 6 inches of my hair.


ok bye!
1 Brokeaway Make a wish

Sunday, October 30th, 2005

Time:6:40 pm.
oh yeah, and did I mention that this friday I turn 18?
2 Brokeaway Make a wish

Subject:Hi LivejournalLand.
Time:5:55 pm.
Mood: pulling out my hair.
Hi my name is Brea and I am unbelievably stressed out CAN YOU TELL?!


This is what I have for senior memories so far:

“And we laugh till we cry, always so hard to say goodbye and we all sit round here in our home town its so good like this these are times we'll miss The memories I hope will never fade” D,M,N <3 thanks for everything LB – "I'm for best friends, long drives and smiles” mbuds, champs, mattel, hotpink, #18, sharox, danceparties, motel8, SKL, chingada, pinkladies, quebec04, Senioritas, beast <3 cult, dawsoning, trackstaas, prancing sillies, prom05, firepits, scavghunts, SNOML, waterfire, opX “Im only this far and only tomorrow leads my way..”

I'm not getting really personal with initials and stuff because A) I'll probably forget some awesome people and B) it hurts my head to read all the shorthand and there's no chance that I'll understand any of it in 50 years. I think that's less than 500 characters and I can use 700, so if you have any suggestions on anything I left out telll me!

OK. so.
I am in crunch time. Therefore, if I bitch, snap, or randomly start bawling my eyes out at you at any point over this next week, please don't take it personally. I am finishing ALLL of this college shit and mailing it ALLL out no later than November 15th. THE END. ANDTHENICANKINDARELAXANDLIFEWILLBEGOODWOO. So please just A)ignore me, B)help me, C) hug me, or D)give me chocolate.

This is what I have for my common app essay so far...it's first rough draft, so yeah. I know it sucks. But please don't tell me that or I may have to turn Carrie on you and kill you after all the stress it's given me. And I exaggerated some parts a bit (ie. Hover didn't really make us run THAT many miles and I still eat a lot of cookies) and the ending is currently non-existant but yes. PLEASE give me ANY suggestions that you have and HELP ME!!!Collapse )
6 Brokeaway Make a wish

Wednesday, October 26th, 2005

Subject:for shits and giggles :)
Time:10:46 pm.
Post an ANONYMOUS comment with the following:
1. One secret
2. One compliment to me
3. One piece of advice for me.
4. One love note, but it does not have to be for me-- but it could be
5. Lyrics to a song
6. How old you are
7. How long we've been friends
8. And a hint to who you are
9. After you do it for me, put it in your LJ and see who does it for you
8 Brokeaway Make a wish

Tuesday, October 25th, 2005

Time:9:55 pm.
Mood: stressed.
remember that time when I finished all my applications and actually had a life again?

Make a wish

LiveJournal for B.

View:User Info.
You're looking at the latest 20 entries. Missed some entries? Then simply jump back 20 entries.