Ouch... but inevitable.

There is no such thing as a writer without a rejection letter. Anyone claiming to be one without that requisite letter is not a true writer. As such, today i join the ranks of those seeking to see their name in print; i am officially a writer... which, of course, means that yesterday i received my first rejection letter.

Perhaps i was a bit optimistic to send my weaker story to such a huge magazine, (F&SF has a circulation around 50,000). i was clearly wrong not to send one of my better stories, because the Assistant Editor who read "the Golden Choker" didnt seem too enthusiastic about it.
...then again, i got a personalized response (vs a form rejection letter), which was nice. next time i submit to them i will definitely send to the guy who wrote me. that should help me a bit, i think.

anyway, yay for becoming official. and heres hoping i dont get too much more official :P

a writer!

fun times.... grr.

now listen.

you're not worth my effort,
you're not worth my words,
you're not worth my time --
of this i am sure.
you're not worth the heartache,
the pleasure's too pained
you're not worth what little
enjoyment i've gained.
in your heart all too gloomy,
or your soul full of hate,
you're not worth the turmoil
attached to one date.

and so in your moment of passionate need
i remember your coldness, deny you.

bitch please.

been that kind of time lately... sorta.

not quite so angry any more,
  • Current Mood
    cynical cynical

almost a sonnet... almost

As you see him I you, and this I fear
for fear hath not the power to draw near
and nearer you would make my problems well,
but well or not thine eyes mine never draw.
To draw thy likeness true I lack the skill
but skill hath not the love that moves my quill.
What quill, what ink, what smooth or beautious lines
line thy face that my love cannot define?
Is his face that you note more fair than mine?
Or is his verse more lyric or more fine?
My arms embrace as warm, my words as dear,
my eyes reflect as pure as his unclear,
my lustless heart would love more than his blind;
yet only when between thee I you find.

  • Current Mood
    quixotic playful

late night 7

i dream so my mind escapes
this plane and this body so
dull, dim, obscure, shallow, young
in favor of something true
or more true or honest or
at least believable, or
at most less blatantly false.

i dream so my mind won't fade
or worry and crumble, null,
destroyed, void, to the winds flung
and missed not a moment too
soon; so my body lives or
my soul can survive, thrive, or
take one more step in life's waltz.


gotta love creative writing!

my Style class brings out the most interesting things in me...

I'm running and they're chasing
and i know it's going poor-
ly and the sirens blaring
tell me not to stop just once
and i don't think to stop or
quit or slow or even breathe
and that's just how they want it
but i cannot stop can't stop
until my legs too tired to
run quit on me and i know
they will eventually but
not now not right now no please
not now just two or three more--

yay... now i dont know what else to say.



well, just saw the movie Closer, and two things are very obvious to me now. First, Natalie Portman is a goddess. Second, love and relationships SUCK, especially in todays world. here is one quote from the movie that i think embodies all that ive noticed recently. in fact, ill give the quote and then a poem i wrote that was somewhat similar in nature. here:

Where is this "love"? I can't see it, I can't touch it. I can't feel it. I can hear it. I can hear some words, but I can't do anything with your easy words.


What does that even mean to you?
When you say it, does it ring untrue?
Or is that the only thing I hear
And you don't? Can words just disappear?
Vanish in time with the moment lost,
Down the spiral of empty words, no cost
To speak of. What emotion? Why
Should those words, when heard, make dry eyes cry?
So tell me, what does it mean to you?
When you say it, should I love you, too?
Or instead should I merely and meekly reply
That I love you, even if it's a lie?

so, yeah. there we go. that is about it for now. night...

  • Current Mood
    contemplative contemplative

Spring Break

well, its that time of year again.
i have a week off school to do whatever, and guess what im doing? schoolwork, sleeping, eating, work work, and... uhm... more schoolwork. the most fun ive had lately has been when i got to put some time away and read Catch-22, which is a truly fantastic novel. it's cynical, but the writing is just so good i cannot help but love it.

progress is slow but steady with regards to Zaniel III, but i have a lot planned for it, and the first two turned out so well i cannot help but think this one will also. i just need to devote more time to it... to do that, i probably need to finish my HW though. meh. why must my school always (try to) take priority? maybe because thats what im doing right now with my life. soon, soon i will be through with it (sorta) and moving on to full English and writing immersion!
...and that sounded so geeky, haha. oh well, i cannot hide my true colors ;)

hope yall are having fun, whoever you are.

  • Current Mood
    okay okay

questions from philosophy class

because i thought it was an interesting (and very controversial topic), i felt like raising it here.

warning: these questions all deal with the abortion issue.
you have been warned.
please, lets try not to start a flame war, too...

notice: all questions should be answered with either a "YES" or a "NO," though further explanation of those responses is also acceptable.

1) Do you believe abortion is morally permissible?
2) Do you believe abortion should be legally permissible?
3) Do you believe questions 1 and 2 ask the same thing?
4) Do you believe in the right to life?
5) Do you believe in a woman's right to choose what happens to her body?
6) Do you believe in a man's right to choose what happens to his body?
7) Do you consider yourself pro-life?
8) Do you consider yourself pro-choice?
9) Do you consider yourself anti-choice?
10) Do you consider yourself anti-life?
11) Do you believe questions 7 and 8 ask the same thing?
12) Do you believe questions 7 and 9 ask the same thing?
13) Do you believe everyone should believe as you do?
14) Do you believe everyone should believe as you do regarding abortion?
15) Regarding question 14, if people do not believe as you do, should they be forced to?

16) Do you believe capital punishment is morally permissible?
17) Do you believe abortion is morally permissible?
18) Do you believe question 16 deals with the "right to life?"
19) Do you believe question 17 deals with the "right to life?"
20) Do you believe questions 16 and 17 deal with the same "right to life?"

Did you find these questions biased toward one side of the issue?
In which direction?

  • Current Mood
    curious curious

because i can...

this is stolen from... well, quite a few people.
so, just follow the pattern in comments, and dont take it too seriously.
unless you want to. o_O

If you woke up and I was in bed with you, what would be your first thought?

(Now post this in your LJ and find out what mine would be)

< ahem >

  • Current Mood
    amused amused

Is This Justice?


At the trial,
they smiled and clapped
their hands and hugged
each other with tears in their
eyes and they thanked
God that justice would be done

Have you come to your decision?

no one looks at you the same
everywhere you go you see it
they know
you know
and they don’t hide it
it is your fault

We have your honor.

Time passes
you think
until tired is
more than a way of being
it is your state of mind
waiting blurs everything
accept the truth

We find the defendant.

they hide behind the glass
waiting like I wait
except not
they still smile
I think
I will soon
they will weep and clap
their hands and hug
again with tears
and thank God
that justice would be done


I will rise above all this and see
them nevermore
I thank God
that I don’t see
their faces contort with glee
jubilation and celebration
and I die.

Is this justice?

  • Current Music
    Green Day - Good Riddance (Time of Your Life)