Welllll... I have an interview tomorrow morning at 11am! For a JOB! :D! For those of you that are new, I was spectacularly booted from my last job
in February by my conniving, backstabbing supervisor (who has since backstabbed the other guy I worked with and continues to be shady on the whole) and have been living off of a decent unemployment check since then. I've been having a hard time finding something for a number of reasons:
1. I'm under qualified
2. I'm qualified, but it's so far away that with gas prices being what they are, I'd be lucky to break even every month, if that.
3. I send out my resume, but no one ever gets back to me (been doing a LOT of CraigsList searching)
4. Literally 50 other people are applying for these jobs since unemployment in Cali is super high.
5. It involves heavy lifting of some sort. Now, I'm one of those dykes who's like, "I CAN LIFT IT I DON'T NEED A MAN!" and did so when I worked at a movie theater, lifting 40-50 pound boxes above my head, sometimes daily. I think 3 years of said work fucked me up, and now I have a sciatica problem that -- when it flares up -- can knock me on my ass. Literally. I had a manual labor job in college that was events set up and break down and... limping to my dorm and collapsing on my bed in pain = not something I'd look forward to.
And I should mention that I'm not just chillin' at my parents home. I rent a townhome with my girlfriend/partner/wife and my best friend, we pay rent, need food monies, pay utilities... So money is a need. Luckily my unemployment has been perfect for covering my portion of expenses, and luckily my girlfriend still has her kick-ass job and has a decent amount of extra money every month (I gots a sugar momma!), but I don't like the idea of leeching off her, financially.
Last Friday I stumbled across a CraigsList ad that was two weeks old, but it was PERFECT! PERFECT I TELL YOU!! I met every requirement and knew I could totally do the job. I'm not ambitious in the least, and I like a HUGE line drawn between home life and work -- I want to clock in my hours and get the hell out -- so when I found a really no-pressure sounding customer service job that involves answering customer inquires VIA EMAIL for a web-based company, I shat myself and sent my resumé out with an email begging them to look it over. The pay isn't as high as I'd like, but it'd at least cover my expenses, and with the job market being what it is, uh, I'll take just about anything. The next day after submitting my pleading email, THEY CALLED ME FOR AN INTERVIEW! :D!!! *knock on wood* And I normally do pretty good on interviews, so I'm hopeful.
I'm honestly more concerned about self-image than the interview itself. I hate having the feeling that I'll walk in and they be like, "oh GOD. Look at the lazy fat chick. I BET she wants to sit in front of a computer." I've been obsessing over my body, I know I'm at a heavy-for-me point right now, and I'm conscious of it every second I'm out of the house, the whole, "people are looking at me and judging me because of my weight" thing. And today didn't helped when I tried on my nice trousers for the interview... Last time I wore them (at the height of my diet and exercise gig) they were very loose around the thighs and hanging off my ass. Tonight? A snug fit. And they did FIT, but snugly
. I promptly went out and walked/jogged a mile. We've been doing good, though. Over the past 3 weeks we've been eating in a LOT more -- cutting eating out to weekends, whereas for the few months before that it was, like, everyday >.>! We've also been walking a mile 5 times a week, and have incorporated jogging parts of it over the last week.
But after tonight, I've decided I need to seriously get back into calorie counting. I hopped back on a couple months ago and then fell right off. And while I'm eating a lot healthier right now, I'm not accounting for it all, which can easily lead to excess. On top of that, I wanna move our cheap knock-off Gazelle into the bedroom. It's currently in the garage, which is too hot to exercise in, so I want to bring it in and really cardio my ass off at least 3 times a week and maybe do some weight training twice a week.
See, I KNOW what my problem is and what I need to do: I am a lazy ass and I eat too poorly, too often. Cure? Exercise more, eat better, portion control. (not to a crazy degree. I shoot for 1300 cals per day when I'm dieting, more if I burn more exercise calories, just as long as I'm eating 500 fewer calories than I burn a day *thumbs up*). And I have to remind myself that the strict eating habits are temporary. Once I get to a goal weight I can bump up to, like, 1700-1800 cals a day and maintain. And that is NOT a ludicrous number.
It's just getting to the point where I'm having anxiety about seeing people, especially people who haven't seen me in a while, and it shouldn't be that way -- I shouldn't LET it be that way.
In other news, I've learned a couple of Japanese dishes and have even made bento
for Roomie and Girlfriend -- with success! (and once I get a job, I can make my own bento!) I made tamagoyaki
and bought some REALLY filling Japanese brown rice and learned how to make it Japanese-style <3 Next, I wanna make sushi rice and attempt tofu sushi ^^U
OH. And Nagini fell today >.> We have a two-story unit with vaulted ceilings, and a... display shelf that runs high along the living room perimeter. Nagini was up there chasing a spider and she slipped and fell on hard tile -- and didn't land on her feet. She was having a hard time sitting, and was walking with a bit of a limp, but she ran up the stairs ok, jumped on and off the bed, and the little chub was yelling at us for food, which I figured were good signs. But her tail is still down and she seems to be sitting down fine... 80% of the time. We're just gonna watch her over the next couple of days and see how she's doing.
Alright, it's almost 3:30am and I have that interview tomorrow. ACK! WHAT AM I GONNA DO WITH MY HAIR!?!? It's ass-length... do I go über professional and opt for a bun? Maybe a ponytail and a long braid -- business in front, party in back? *snort* Maybe a ponytail with curls would be good... it's like, "I take the time to groom myself and be presentable, but I'm not afraid of being young and energetic."
Yes... that would be best... Why don't I own nice earrings? *sweatdrop* I'm such a fucking lesbian sometimes... at least I don't own flannel X_x