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Oh, I have lived for ages, I'm a thousand turns of tide Below are the 10 most recent journal entries recorded in the "Jagged vacances, thick with ice" journal:

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June 12th, 2015
08:05 am


Putting this here for safe-keeping
Essence: Your vulnerable color, your version of white, a skin tone that harmonizes the colors in the palm of your hand
Romantic: Your passion color, your version of red found by gently pinching a fingertip—or the color of when you blush
Dramatic: Your “look at me” color, your version of blue, found in the color of the veins in your wrist
Energy: The color that supports you when you need a pick me up, taken from the darkest part of your iris (but not the ring around the iris)
Tranquil: Your peaceful color, taken from the lightest part of your iris

First base, formal, your version of black, taken from the ring around your iris
Second base, less formal but still serious, your version of brown, taken from the darkest part of your hair [tips in the book for where else to look if you color your hair]
Third base, casual, your version of khaki, taken from the lightest part of your hair (tips in the book for where else to look if you color your hair)

From David Zyla's Color Your Style

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April 11th, 2015
09:37 pm


"Art thou troubled?" text set by Handel
Art thou troubled? Music will calm thee.
Art thou weary? Rest shall be thine.
Music, source of all gladness,
Heals thy sadness at her shrine.
Music, music ever divine.
Music, music calleth with voice divine.

When the welcome spring is smiling,
All the earth with flow'rs beguiling
After winter's dreary reign,
Sweetest music doth attend her,
Heavenly harmonies doth lend her,
Chanting praises in her train.

Art thou troubled? Music will calm thee.
Art thou weary? Rest shall be thine.
Music, source of all gladness,
Heals thy sadness at her shrine.
Music, music ever divine.
Music, music calleth with voice divine.

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January 21st, 2015
11:07 pm


36 questions guaranteed to make you fall in love with anyone
Set I

1. Given the choice of anyone in the world, whom would you want as a dinner guest?

2. Would you like to be famous? In what way?

3. Before making a telephone call, do you ever rehearse what you are going to say? Why?

4. What would constitute a “perfect” day for you?

5. When did you last sing to yourself? To someone else?

6. If you were able to live to the age of 90 and retain either the mind or body of a 30-year-old for the last 60 years of your life, which would you want?

7. Do you have a secret hunch about how you will die?

Modern Love
A series of weekly reader-submitted essays that explore the joys and tribulations of love.
How I Came to Live in a Chair Emporium JAN 15
To Fall in Love With Anyone, Do This JAN 9
A Craigslist ‘Missed Connection’ Lure JAN 2
I Will Be Your Mother Figure DEC 26
The 10 Best Modern Love Columns Ever DEC 19
See More »

8. Name three things you and your partner appear to have in common.

9. For what in your life do you feel most grateful?

10. If you could change anything about the way you were raised, what would it be?

11. Take four minutes and tell your partner your life story in as much detail as possible.

12. If you could wake up tomorrow having gained any one quality or ability, what would it be?

Set II

13. If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about yourself, your life, the future or anything else, what would you want to know?

14. Is there something that you’ve dreamed of doing for a long time? Why haven’t you done it?

15. What is the greatest accomplishment of your life?

16. What do you value most in a friendship?

17. What is your most treasured memory?

18. What is your most terrible memory?

19. If you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living? Why?

20. What does friendship mean to you?

21. What roles do love and affection play in your life?

22. Alternate sharing something you consider a positive characteristic of your partner. Share a total of five items.

23. How close and warm is your family? Do you feel your childhood was happier than most other people’s?

24. How do you feel about your relationship with your mother?


25. Make three true “we” statements each. For instance, “We are both in this room feeling ... “

26. Complete this sentence: “I wish I had someone with whom I could share ... “

27. If you were going to become a close friend with your partner, please share what would be important for him or her to know.

28. Tell your partner what you like about them; be very honest this time, saying things that you might not say to someone you’ve just met.

29. Share with your partner an embarrassing moment in your life.

30. When did you last cry in front of another person? By yourself?

31. Tell your partner something that you like about them already.

32. What, if anything, is too serious to be joked about?

33. If you were to die this evening with no opportunity to communicate with anyone, what would you most regret not having told someone? Why haven’t you told them yet?

34. Your house, containing everything you own, catches fire. After saving your loved ones and pets, you have time to safely make a final dash to save any one item. What would it be? Why?

35. Of all the people in your family, whose death would you find most disturbing? Why?

36. Share a personal problem and ask your partner’s advice on how he or she might handle it. Also, ask your partner to reflect back to you how you seem to be feeling about the problem you have chosen.



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September 5th, 2014
09:46 pm


I know probably every mother feels this way, but I really think my baby is pretty much the most incredible being in the world.

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January 17th, 2014
03:03 pm


Baby stuff update
All that needs to be purchased for the short-term is the stroller, diaper pail, and some crib bedding. Oh, and extra Pack N Play and bassinet bedding. I'm going to buy these on Amazon, it'll be easy peasy, I just gotta sit down and get it all out in one swoop so I can use my completion discount.

I already know what stroller I'm getting.
I'm getting a fancy diaper pail. Don't judge, it's the ONLY nursery item I've bought based on style alone. Everything else has either been a gift, or bought based on economy/function. Besides, it's stylish enough that it can double as a regular trash can once we're done with diapers.
I just saw someone bought my crib skirt and one of the cute crib sheets on my Amazon registry! That's another one I was debating about because we already have a couple plain white crib sheets...I know we need a few more and I was wondering if I should splurge for the cute ones or not. I think one more (cute) crib sheet should cut it. We'll have 2 boring and 2 cute, and I've heard that 4 should be enough. It's nice having the crib skirt out of the way--not necessary, but it'll add a nice touch of style, and maybe it will help hide a stash of diapers or other baby supplies under the crib.

Selected and confirmed with a doula, and set up our first prenatal appointment. Nervous/excited. Can't wait to get this first meeting under way (I've already met with her once in person, but this is our first official appointment).

Yesterday I made a speech (out loud! in public! no notes!) to Jubilate thanking them for the MASSIVE surprise baby shower they threw for me. I was surprisingly articulate and engaging.

This weekend's plans: pack hospital bag (need to buy some things as well--travel toiletries, etc.), install car seat bases, and practice with the car seat. And clean out my car.

Still left to do:
-Continue organizing/going through the explosion of presents
-Do something about the explosion that is my desk, since right now baby's room and my office are one and the same
-Finish reading The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding (embarrassingly old-fashioned name, but content is quite current and relevant) so I can give it to my friend Destiny who had her baby almost a month ago; rip the baby music CDs someone gave me so I can bring them over to Destiny as well; also, visit Destiny!
-I'm sure there's lots more, but that's enough for now
-More long-term: Learn how to use the breast pump, make sure we have all the supplies we need for that (bottles, nipples, gel packs, etc.); look more closely at when I plan on returning to work, child care needs, etc.

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January 11th, 2014
01:57 pm


Sylvia is the custodian at St. John's. I loved her from the moment I saw her, because she looks like my grandma. Short gray hair, jeans, t-shirt. And she works like my grandpa, stomping around the church in her false teeth, making things right. She gets the biggest ovation every year at the school awards ceremony, which says something about her--and the school. You gotta love a school that has a rousing standing ovation that goes on for full minutes for the custodian. She gets recognized after the principal, she's so popular.

Jubilate (the 80+ voice of mostly "gray hairs" that I accompany at St. John's) threw me a surprise baby shower on Thursday. It was completely overwhelming. I knew they were planning on getting me a few big things, car seat, high chair. But when they led me into dining room, I couldn't believe it--there must have been 50-60 individual gifts, as well as the big stuff people had pitched in to get me. There were so many presents that I opened for an hour (going from table to table, there were about 10-12 tables with at least 3 presents on each), and couldn't even finish. I've been spending the afternoon going through them. Most are typical shower gifts--handmade blankets in pastel colors from sweet grandmas, random toys from the sweet old men who have no idea how to "do" a baby shower, lots of pajamas, lots of bath stuff, some useful things, some cute things, some things I'll put in the closet in a "give/donate" pile.

And one gift that stood out with its stylish wrapping: warm yellow paper with a fancy pink and green plaid bow. Very striking. And the card, small, neat, understated. It's from Sylvia.

People are so layered. The gift is a lamb stuffed animal with a lavender and flax seed insert that can be heated or chilled. Such a thoughtful, appropriate gift from someone who isn't even IN the choir. It's so neat and pretty and gentle, so not how we see Sylvia at work (although she is always gentle, she is never neat or pretty).

I love Sylvia.

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January 8th, 2014
07:59 pm


Mexican chicken surprise
Putting this recipe here for safe-keeping. It was totally a case of throwing together whatever I happened to have in the kitchen, but it turned out delicious!

Heat up some coconut oil in a large pan (use refined for higher temperatures).
Dump a large handful of frozen corn. Cook for a bit.
Dump a can of rinsed beans. I used garbanzo because that's all I had in the pantry--Jared says they didn't work but I actually really liked them. I had planned to use pinto beans though, or black beans would be nice too. Cook for a bit longer.
Dump some leftover shredded chicken from that rotisserie chicken you bought earlier in the week, and need to use up. Cook for a bit longer.
Add more coconut oil if needed.
Sprinkle a medium amount of onion powder, because you thought you had an onion but it turns out you didn't. Sprinkle a smaller amount of garlic powder for the same reason. Think about adding some cumin (I didn't). Cook a bit more.
Dump the rest of your opened jar of salsa. It should be about 2/3 of a jar, but more wouldn't hurt. Cook for a bit more.

Serve over rice (I had white basmati rice in the rice cooker with homemade broth, real salt, and butter--so yummy). Or use it for tacos, burritos, enchiladas, taco salads, whatever.

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07:44 pm


This is so important

1. Go to bed at the same time
2. Cultivate common interests
3. Walk hand in hand or side by side
4. Make trust and forgiveness your default mode
5. Focus more on what your partner does right than what he or she does wrong
6. Hug each other as soon as you see each other after work
7. Say “I love you” and “Have a good day” every morning
8. Say “Good night” every night, regardless of how you feel
9. Do a “weather” check during the day
10. Be proud to be seen with your partner

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December 29th, 2013
03:09 pm


On Not Finding Out
The ones who have done it before are thrilled when they hear. "Oh, you will LOVE it, you will be so glad," they say, if they are my generation. The older ones, who didn't find out because it wasn't done at the time they were having babies, will say "good for you" with a proud twinkle in their eyes.

But there are a few people who get...angry? Defensive? Not as many as I expected, but still there are some. Sometimes they counter with, "Well, what color are you going to paint the nursery?!" as if I hadn't already thought of it. As if painting the nursery a color is integral to the whole process of having a baby. As if there are only two colors of paint in the whole world, and now I can't use either of them. Or they say with a smirk, "I hope you like yellow/green/brown."

I like yellow, green, and brown as much as I like pink and blue. Which is to say, not that much. I more prefer reds, oranges, and grays. Which, incidentally, are actually quite gender neutral.

We are not painting the nursery. Why. What is wrong with white walls? I mean, yeah, a color might be nice, but I would never paint the walls pink or blue...or yellow or green. Maybe a nice soft neutral...but honestly, the white is nice with the neutral carpet, and I REALLY don't want to have to repaint when we move out of here. Seriously, who does that to themselves?

And baby has received a lot of beautiful blankets, some handmade, some store-bought, none matching but all will be deeply loved, I'm sure. All I want for the crib is functional--seriously due to sleep safety, you don't want anything else near the crib anyways. We have yet to get a dresser, but when we do, at least for the first long while it will have the changing pad on top anyways, so nothing to do there. Maybe a few cute wall hangings, but I'm not going to bother with curtains or anything--again, why bother installing something when you're renting and not sure how long you'll be in one place anyways? We'll have a beautiful wooden rocking chair which will need some pillows and blankets--again, we've got pillows and blankets to spare, none matching but all completely functional.

We'll be fine. Baby will be the most beautiful part of the room anyways.

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December 17th, 2013
10:37 pm


The Apologizing Lady
I have very little patience for Apologizing Ladies. There is one I am currently working with, and it's so hard for me to stay civil to her. She is nothing but perfectly warm and kind and genuine, but ugh, I just cannot handle all the apologizing!

A few weeks ago during an outdoor gig, I asked if she could sit by me to keep an eye on my pages in case they blew in the wind. Then when it turned out that she was sitting in the double bassist's spot, and there were actually 2 double bassists (who weren't playing during my pieces) plus the other pianist who was right behind me, PLUS the director asked if she could go help out during the performance with some sound board issues, and I told her that she didn't have to worry about my pages, one of the guys (double bassists/pianist) could do it for me. I'm Sorry!! She begged. ...for what? For abandoning you... Um, no, I TOLD you to go take care of the sound board because that is infinitely more important than my pages potentially blowing in the evening breeze. So she prayed over my pages that they would stay put.

And then earlier this week, she showed up early for a rehearsal. Making small talk, I mentioned that I was just getting some things together and then I was going to go pick up the girls choir from the school and walk them to the music room, and from there we would all go over to the sanctuary. Since the director was not there yet, it would mean that she would be sitting alone in the music room for about 5 minutes. I assured her that she had several minutes before rehearsal actually started, so she went to the bathroom. While she was gone, the director showed up. We discussed the upcoming rehearsal and decided it would be better if I finished what I was doing in the music room while the director herself went to pick up the girls and walk them straight to the sanctuary, and I would meet them over there. So when Apologizing Lady emerged from the bathroom 1 minute later, I explained the change in plans. Oh I'm Sorry if I threw everything off.... ...um...for showing up to a rehearsal 5 minutes early? For excusing yourself to the bathroom when there was plenty of time before we needed you anyways?

Everything is not about you!!

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