someone save me if you will *

one month until molly brittany & i see shinedown!*
i can't wait for halloween, we are going to dress up & go to renos =)...if they'll let us
i'm gonna be 'nurse betty' lol..but i gotta find a date =/...which will basically be impossible for me..oh well..
things are getting better i guess,..i'm kinda happy you could say?
humm..cosmetology sucked today, it was freakin hot & we didn't get to go on break plus my sugar dropped so i had another headache..shew
i'm getting my hair cut, maybe this week? i dunno but i'm's so frizzy i hope gettin it cut will help ..
-i really like someone..
i'm goin to the mall saturday
i like the band..- panic! at the disco =)
i'm hungry.
i can't wait for prom..
i can get my tongue pierced if i make all A's this six weeks...finally
shew i need to talk to molly...where are you!!!!
well anyways, i'm gonna go lay down..*

love -
  • Current Music
    panic! at the disco

ugh* usual things suck ...not much to talk about..
i'm trying to get my parents to move..anywhere...because i'm so sick of pound & my friends..and everything..nothing is the same..i just want things to be the way they used to be when we were so innocent..nothing got in the way of our friendships..but i guess i'll just have to accept the fact that we're growing up..and boys/drugs/& anything else can ruin friendships...or make them stronger it's just who wants to forgive & forget..but i just don't know how things are going right seems like i'm alone..and i have no friends..okay that's totally wrong..i have tasha louie sydney angela...but things with me molly & brittany haven't been goin so well lately..i don't know if they know how i feel about things or not..i feel left out from their conversations or when they hang out on weekends..i'm not invited..i mean they can go out together they don't have to invite me..BUT they try to hide it from me? i don't understand it's like they don't wanna share their lives with me? they are my best friends...and are/were the only ppl i trust(ed) for a while...but i dunno...i'm just so ready to move right now..FAR away...

i don't think i'll be writing in this much more..i'm gettin sick of w/e*

the gift -- seether *

Hold me now I need to feel relief
Like I never wanted anything
I suppose I'll let this go and find a reason I'll hold on to
I'm so ashamed of defeat
And I'm out of reason to believe in me
I'm out of trying to get by

I'm so afraid of the gift you give me
I don't belong here and I'm not well
I'm so ashamed of the lie I'm living
Right on the wrong side of it all

I can't face myself when I wake up
And look inside a mirror
I'm so ashamed of that thing
I suppose I'll let it go
Untill I have something more to say for me
I'm so afraid of defeat
And I'm out of reason to believe in me
I'm out of trying to defy

I'm so afraid of the gift you give me
I don't belong here and I'm not well
I'm so ashamed of the lie I'm living
Right on the wrong side of it all

Hold me now I need to feel complete
Like I matter to the one I need

I'm so afraid of the gift you give me
I don't belong here and I'm not well
I'm so ashamed of the lie I'm living
Right on the wrong side of it all

Now I'm ashamed of this
I am so ashamed of this
Now I'm so ashamed of this
I am so ashamed of me...
  • Current Music
    --the gift // seether *

..learning how to love *

well i've been i thought i'd update about my last couple of weeks...
last friday went to the game with molly & brittany then they came to my house..& we snuck out went to a party ,...i got drunk ..went to nicks passed out in the floor..woke up at like 4 & left to my caught which equals my grounding..but it wasn't bad..haha...saturday & sunday didn't do anything...monday was fun i guess...the rest of the week was fun..cosmetology is awesome!!..we've been fixin each others hair and stuff,..we learned how to wash hair..and french braid..and we got to curl/straighten hair..woot,...i love it..
yesterday. me & molly went to britts..snuck out to nicks..just hung out for a while..they brought us back. and we went to bed around 4? i dunno...
today. went to wal-mart bought a straightener and a blow dryer..some other stuff & now i'm sittin here...just bored as usual watchin fuse..yay =)
i straightened my hair and it is sooooooooooo long...

well...i guess that's all for now...
  • Current Music
    -- i caught fire // the used <3 *

(no subject)

well i figured it was time for a 'real' update...
i dunno what's goin on with me lately, i've just been so depressed..=( & i really don't know why either? it's very strange..well is okay , although very boring...US & VA history is kinda fun..i guess ..but biology 2 is SOOO FREAKIN BORING..i hate that class cept i sit beside britt so we can talk...cosmetology is only fun cause i have laurisa...they moved britt & molly out of my class. so i don't really know anyone in i feel soo lost without moo & britt.. =/ but i have a couple new friends..yay...we are learnin how to perm's interesting & frustrating..cause i usually have a headache in that class and can't i get pissed off easily, i guess i'm just too impatient..
- humm well i don't really have much to write life is so boring..i have lost most of my close relationships with my friends ,..maybe that's why i'm so depressed? i just wanna be happy again..i would do anything to be happy..shew =/

* randoms *
- molly & brittany are coming up's gonna be fun =)
- i'm extremely bored
- i did my nails , & i think they look perdy =) .
- the game/dance is gonna be fun..i hope..
- my room looks like shit..i need to clean before moo&britt come
- i don't think i like anyone now
- guys suck
- my foots asleep
- i've had a headache for about 3 days
- i don't eat much anymore
- i don't feel pretty
- my hair looked pretty good today for once yay
- i need to lose weight
- i love the song burning bright by shinedown
- i quit bass lessons
- i need to learn how to play my guitar
- i'm painting my room next month
- i'm hangin my bed from the ceiling..yesssss
- i get to take the drivin part of drivers ed this/or next week...yay..
- i get my license in january

okay thats plenty...
<3 me *
  • Current Music
    --EVERYtHiNG SUCkS // MxPx *


i drift away to a place
another kind of life
take away the pain
i create my paradise.

everything i've held has hit the wall
what used to be yours, isn't yours at all.

falling apart and all that i'm asking
is it a crime, am i over reacting?

0h, he's under my skin
just give me something to get rid of him
i got a reason now to bury this alive
another little white lie

summer has come and passed the innocent can never last
wake me up when september ends
like my fathers come to pass seven years has gone so fast
wake me up when september ends
here comes the rain again falling from the stars
drenched in my pain again becoming who we are
AS MY MEM0RY ( r e s t s ),..BUt NEVER f0RGEtS WHAt i ( l o s t ) * ... Collapse )
  • Current Music
    --instant star *

-in my heart it's raining *

gahh, i don't know where to start...we have 2 full days left before school starts.. where did summer go? lol i don't feel like i've done anything...although i think this year is gonna be good/easy
here's my schedule =)

1st semester*
- us & va history
- biology 2
- cosmetology =)

2nd semester*
- english 11
- algebra 2
- cosmetology

yay, cept i have english with mrs. gilmer...AHHH =( *

this week has been very

WEdNESdAY * we got our schedules changed...* went to nicks...blah the

tHURSdAY * all i remember is i went to britts then nick came up was fun ;)

fRidAY * umm can't remember, but hell yea it was

SAtURdAY * uhh, me & britt went shoppin again...i bought a webcam..& britt bought nick a shirt but he wouldn't take it..anybody want it? lol it's cute.. smile then i came home..& watched the andy milonakis show..talked and stuff..woot

SUNdAY * (that's the day, it all went down ;) - went out to get gas in britts car, bought some energy drinks....went to britts waited for nick to get home...about 6 went to nicks...ummmmmm i got to meet gray...and got to know him a little more than i expected okay A LOT more than i expected...;)
-chewy, micheal hicks, & pudgy were also there..but i didn't get to talk to jk ..haha -went back to britts, i spent the night..we took 347 pictures with my we'll post some one day lol...

t0dAY * boring day....* britt & nick are fightin...she's gonna beat the shit out of him..naww i's just shittin we are sittin here at my house...BORED AS HELL as nathaniel always says..=) i love that boy..

kay, good enough i hope...if not fuck ya' jk ..( lol if your wonderin thats from the andy milonakis show..=).. )

[Edit*] (( WARNiNG!!..there are a lot..teehee ))
*fiNE AS A SUPERM0dEl, bUilt liKE A c0KE b0ttlE*Collapse )
  • Current Music
    --tHE ANdY Mil0NAKiS SH0W <3333*