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m e g a n

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June 9th, 2007
So I heard paris was writing a book after she gets out of jail.... I got the prereleased copy....

"Jail was so not hot."

March 29th, 2007
Dear Pittsburgh Pa I'm comming home!

Yeah yeah!

April 20 to 29

Let's hang out!

March 10th, 2007
I'm so happy with me.

I love me.

March 8th, 2007
Holy oinker

Today I ate...

Special K bar
Chicken salad
Half a butterfinger
Chicken with veggies and pasta
Peanut butter and special k sandwich.

Yes I'm serious. And I was hungry so I wasn't eating like I was bored. Something is weoh with me. One day I can't eat anythingn or I throw most everything up and the next day I can't have enough.

Omg you love it. Haha

February 27th, 2007
what a fucking idot.
mat is a fucking idot.
he is currently in jail.



When will he fucking grow up?? Him and that stupid fucking gun. He is never going to see clayden again. He chose that fucking gun over his son.

I want to cry because I feel so bad for his son who had to see that. Clayden actually called the cops. He doesnt deserve to see Clayden ever again.


February 23rd, 2007
I'm on the way to the keys!
Party party all weekend on a boat! Hi I'm excited :)

Dear key west are you ready for us? I don't think so!

Have a fabulous weekend everyone!

hi my girls are good. [Saturday
February 10th, 2007

February 9th, 2007
So I was talking to jeanie about my birthday and how I wanted a watch and I said... maybe Mat will get me the watch I want....but its 400 bucks... and you know what jeanie said... she said so, you're worth it


i am.

and that made my day.

February 7th, 2007
So my favorite cousin said this to me and I love it:

You're glamorous and hes..... redneck. "


But last night he was wearing the clothes I bought him... and he was glamglam too! love it!

February 7th, 2007
So I was talking to Krystal last night and she gave me some good insight with some good analogies.

Then Mat came over and we slept.. again, it was pretty gosh darn cute.
I defiantly feel like we are back to normal now which is awesome. I was telling him about next Tuesday night and how its my birthday and how Im going over Gams and how cute Gam is and hes like "I want to meet her, Grandmas love me" and I was excited because I want him to meet my family because hes fabulous. Anyway I was telling him about Tuesday night at gams house to eat dinner with the family, I didn't invite him, but I want him to come because I want them to meet him first and then meet him and his son.... but he said "Thanks for inviting me" and I said "You're more than welcome to come with me" and he said "I want to come, if I don't have to work then I'll come" Im pretty much really happy seeing so Kristen told me not to rush into meeting family, but what the heck I don't care, my family is such a big part of my life, and plus he introduced me to Clayden like a week after I met him. So whatever haters.

So pretty much, I love being with him.

Oh and ew p.s. Carlos texted me last night, asking me what I was doing and I answered 4 hours later saying sleeping. Im so glad I have Mat, because Carlos makes me wanna vomvom.

February 6th, 2007
Mat slept over last night.
It was cute because we just slept.
It was nice.
For some reason, I love how every night he says good night and every morning he says good morning. I know its stupid but so many people dont do it, so its nice to hear it.
Its a little weird still between us. I dont know, I guess we'll see come my birthday. Ok. Yeah.

A mi a me gusta mucho.

Oh yeah, I woke up at 4 A.M. and started speaking spanish to Mat... I was spanish sleep talking.

February 5th, 2007
so Mat and I made up after not talking for 4 effin days. Its seriously rediculous, I saw him last night and im like i wanted to talk to you about the other night and hes like... why there is nothing to talk about, im over it, why are we going to re-open this and talk about it... and im like ummm because you cant not talk to me for 4 days and think thats ok, because its not. Hes like well if you wouldve let me go I wouldve called you the next day and im like thats not the point dude... and this is what he says... are you ready for this.....

"Well, now we know for the furture, and I dont think its going to happen again, because I think you learned your lesson...."


MY LESSON!?!?!?!?!

I dont even know, but I dont care enough to fight with him, I was just like ok well lets not go 4 days without talking because thats not good. ok. ok.

Anyway, we made up... but it still feels kinda weird between us... I dont know... Im hoping things will get back to normal before my family party because I want him to come over Gams house. I might see him tonight, maybe he'll stay over. Sorry if you dont want to know, but we had the most awesome sex last night.

In other news, Im still pretty sick, I dont know when I am going to get better... I mean everytime I eat something I throw it up, and this has been going on for 3 weeks now.... its not good times. I think Im going to have to go to the doctor because Kathy said it might be a parasite. EW.

Hopefully I can drink some tonight so I can be a little loose when it all goes.... DOWN. hahahahahhaha. Im kinda nervous.

Anyway, back to work.

January 31st, 2007
So last night was cute. Mat took Kathy and I out to Olive Garden, it sucked because Kathys date dipped out before he even got there. I felt horrible. But we still had fun. I really like Mat a lot. I mean, I really do. He's such a great guy and I want to hug him all the time, he looked so nice last night all dressed up... loved it. Anyway he working tonight and then Im going to make him dinner...

Does anyone have any ideas pn what I should make??!

oh yeah.
we're gangster.
and pretty effin cute.

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

January 29th, 2007
this past week has been so good.
I've seen Mat pretty much everyday. Which is nice because hes so freaking awesome. I will be taking a break the next few days though I have some stuff I have to do. I guess we're... "together". I dont know, Im not pushing it, because Im happy with whatever it is that we have.
Him and I had dinner at my moms last night, and then I cut his hair... he looks like an army guy... G.I. Mat. Love it.
Him and I got into a spat last night, over nothing, it was a definate nothing fight. He said sorry and so did I. We are so cute. Check out my myspace to see our grillz that we made. GANGSTER. www.myspace.com/megafuckingmazing

i like him lots.

Ok well, everyone have a so fab Monday.

January 26th, 2007
last night I hit my breaking point.
my whole world just came tumbling down.
from work and dance and school and everything else pretty much hit me last night. Im seriously exhausted. I have serious anxiety that I'm throwing up. I sleep and I study in my free time. I'm making myself sick; something has got to give.
Kristen is the best, she really helped me last night. She is such an amazing person and Im so happy to have her as a roommate, she sat with me and hepled me realize that its ok to not be able to do everything. Its ok to be 20.
Mat came over and he was wonderful. He just held me, like no one else has ever. Im so lucky to have him.

January 19th, 2007
I'm only pretty sure that I can't take anymore
Before you take a swing
I wonder, what are we fighting for
When I say out loud
I want to get out of this
I wonder, is there anything I'm gonna miss

I wonder
How's it gonna be
When you don't know me
How's it gonna be
When you're sure I'm not there
How's it gonna be
When there's no one there to talk to you
Between you and me
'Cause I don't care
How's it gonna be
How's it gonna be

Where we used to laugh
There's a shouting match
Sharp as a thumbnail scratch
A silence I can't ignore
Like the hammock by the doorway we spent time in
Swings empty
I don't see lightning like last fall
When it was always about to hit me

I wonder
How's it gonna be
When it goes down
How's it gonna be
When you're not around
How's it gonna be
When you found out there was nothing
Between you and me
'Cause I don't care
How's it gonna be

How's it gonna be
When you don't know me any more
And how's it gonna be

Want to get myself back in again
The soft dive of oblivion
I want to taste the salt of your skin
The soft dive of oblivion, oblivion

How's it gonna be
When you don't know me any more
How's it gonna be

January 11th, 2007
So. I have a boyfriend.

I finally got through to Carlos. I stood my ground. I pretty much told him, youre either with me or your not. And he picked with me. Im happy about it.

Although, it doesnt feel any different. It feels like it did a year ago. It took me over a year but I got him. haha. I mean there isnt really any difference. Just, he cant be with anyone else. And I cant be with anyone else.

which I was going to call him last night again to apologize, but then Kristen made me realize that I didnt do anything wrong.... seriously. I didnt. At all. so again HEY MAT KICK FUCKING ROCKS!

Ok, but anyway Im happy.

January 9th, 2007
"Love is like a role that we play"

Im so upset.

Mat and I got into a fight last night, and I told him to leave and he said "Well fuck you too then", and I called him and he hit the "f you" button. :( and then I called him like 3 more times, and he didnt answer so I just left him a message.

My stomach hurts.
Really bad.
I couldnt even sleep.
What is so wrong with me? I want to ask him that, what am I not pretty enough for you?!?!?! Boys are fucking rediculous.

Then I woke up at 3 a.m. to have 2 texts and a phone call from Carlos.
It went as follows:

2:34 a.m. So, we are over?
2:36 a.m. No answer?
2:38 a.m. 1 missed Call.

So I answered in a text at 3 a.m.

"I wrote you that e-mail and left it up to you"

I'm so over this place. I want to move back home.

I am so resilient, I recover quickly

December 31st, 2006
heather and I had super cute times last night!


OK... everyone have a safe new year.

December 21st, 2006
So last night was super cute.

Mat slept over. and we slept. just slept. It was the best night.

Hes comming to my moms christmas eve and im so excited.

He had some kickin heartburn and has a stomach virus and so I went at 3 a.m. to CVS to get him Tums and Pepto Bismol. I'm way nice to him.

He even said, you're a nice girl, and thats why I like you.

We hugged all night and it was so nice to have that again.

Im still guarding my heart. But this whiteboy makes me happy.

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