Making a list of things I watched as a kid/teen that I definitely want my kidlet to watch, as opposed to the crap on tv now.
Lamb Chop's Playalong
the Magic School Bus
Chip 'n' Dale Rescue Rangers
Bill Nye the Science Guy
Everything ever shown on OLD Nickelodeon
What am I missing?
I was woke up at 6am this morning because the cats were going crazy. The cats were going crazy because, somehow, a black cat had made it's way into our kitchen. Don't ask me how it even got it, I don't know. Peeka was hissing and growling at it so much it couldn't move. Kian was just curious and trying to get a little closer, and Boo just didn't care. So I threw my leather jacket over it (in case it decided to freak and scratch, which it didn't) and let it out front. A few minutes later it was still sitting on my porch. So I went outside, petted her a bit. She was a lot more friendly than I thought she would be. She had a collar and tags. I was going to wait until at least the sun came up before calling the number on it and let her owner know where she was. But before I could do that, the neighbors across the street came out to start their car. The cat (named Bella, by the way) ran off to meet them. Apparently she lives there. So next time I see her, I know where to return her if she makes it into my kitchen again.
Is it October yet? I mean, really, is it? I'm quite done with this semi-constant not-quite-puking-nauseous feeling and just want to have the thing. Alright, if it can't be October, can it at least be May? For my birthday, I want the ultra sound technician to look at me and say "Congratulations, you're having a girl." Can I have that? Pretty please? Better yet, "Congratulations, you're having a healthy baby girl," or even "Congratulations, you're having a beautiful baby girl." I would almost take "You're having a sea monkey" over "You're having a boy." Honestly, I'd be happy about either one, but I honestly don't know what I'd do with a boy. What do you do with them? You can't put them in dresses and braid their hair. Well, you can, but other mommies and daddies would look at you weird, and who wants that? Ok, so like I would care, but still. I just know, down in the pit of my stomach, that if I had a boy he would be gay. Not that there's anything wrong with that, duh. But I just know he would be. Don't ask me how I know, I just do. And not one of the jock types either. No. He'd be the outgoing, flamboyant, very effeminate gay who wears makeup and probably goes to drag shows, or even participates in them. And I'm just fine with that. But where was I? Oh, right. I want a girl. I know what to do with those. And they're generally easier to deal with at a young age. Less destructive and crazy. I hope.
I'm finding it very hard to be happy about the next seven months and beyond. Right now it's nothing but stress and frustration. We have less than seven months for Justin to find a job that pays more than pizza deliver and to get a place for the three of us to live. It doesn't help that I've been off my meds for a very long time. I don't want to take them until I see my doctor and can find out if they're safe right now. That and the way I've just been feeling so disgustingly unwell and unhappy make it very hard for me to even want a job for now, much less even start looking. Hormones mixed with anxiety and stress are just no fun. I'm supposed to be happy, right?
Last night was the first night I couldn't sleep the whole way through. I woke up sometime in the early morning because the cramping was so bad, but it didn't last long. It's becoming more difficult for me to sleep on my stomach because my boobs get really sore when I do. :(
I'm pregnant. I can't really say I'm surprised, but I certainly hadn't planned it. On the brightside, it is with someone I love and someone I could stand to be with for a very, very long time. I'm hoping for a girl. He (and mom) wants a boy. After all these years of telling my mom hells no, I'm not making babies, she's a bit excited about being a grandmother, even if she'll only be 45 which she says is "too young". Psh, whatever. Between me and her, this kid will not have one piece of store bought clothing for at least the first year. Unless you count hand-me-downs.
I don't think it's really sunk in yet. And it probaly won't until I start getting bigger.
Getting a place somewhere in Indy with Justin. Not the most recent Justin, but the one from two years ago. The trucker one, who will henceforth be referred to as Justin M.
Should be getting a car soon.
Should also be getting a part time job at Comic Carnival, though I can't remember if it was the one on the East or West side.
I think that's all.
Cake. There was cake yesterday. Lots and lots of lovely, yummy cake. Four flavors! Chocolate, white, yellow, and strawberry. I went with Lindsay and Eby to the opening of Erin's cake shop. So much sugar.
My sister spent the night in the hospital, so I brought some home for her. Andrew was awesome enough to give me a ride to bring her some things to keep her occupied. And we stopped by Justin's on the way back and talked for a bit. Hopefully I'll see him tomorrow.
She's home now. It seems to have been an infection, but they wanted to keep her overnight on an antibiotic iv.
Ugh. Still no job. It's been a month now. But, it's not entirely my fault, either. I have to work around everyone else's schedule to even go get applicatios, and that often leaves me home doing nothing. That, and I've been spending a lot of that time with Justin. For being a non-relationship, we sure do spend a lot of time together. That boy confuses me. But once he's got his job thing secured and a new place, we'll have a chance to evaluate just what he wants right now. I already know what I want, and so does he. Thing is, I think he wants to same thing. But the past isn't all that far gone just yet. Old wounds and all that. So I understand his hesitance for starting on something new. But I wish he could see that I'm not like her. I'm not as demanding as she seems to be. I'm really laid back as far as dating goes. In fact, that way we've been over the last month is pretty much exactly how I'd be if we were dating. No need to fancy things and special occasions. Just being in the same room with him is good enough for me.
Sometime between two and three this morning we had to put our cat Pumpkin to sleep...