"Once I thought you were right here with me, so maybe I'll take two or three, until I believe that what I have seen is really happening."
I have not felt very good this week. I hope I'm not getting sick. I assume that I'm just feeling run down from a lack of decent sleep and no real down time lately. Unfortunately, one of my coworkers said she was feeling very similar to how I feel, so I fear it may be a cold or something.
My mom stopped by on her way somewhere today. Brought me like a week's worth of food. Two gallons of apple juice, a gallon of orange juice, a loaf of bread, some corned beef lunch meat, feta, and some pitas. I think she felt bad that I've been feeling crappy, so she brought me all that juice. Granted, I told her that all I drink is water and coffee and I eat tons of fruit, but she said I should still drink more juice.
I've had a hyperactive social life, lately. Very strange. Pretty much booked up every night this week. Thursday may be my only free night all week, actually. Certainly not going to get much done on my new quilt if people keep demanding to hang out with me! It's going to be weird when school starts back up and there's actually people in town to hang out with again. This week was just a fluke. My summer has been pretty bland.
Still listening to Hurt. Pretty much can't stop. I need a Hurt icon.
I haven't watched X-Files in a couple weeks. Need to get back to that. I've been watching a lot of Buffy, though. Maybe I'll watch "Fight the Future" tomorrow. ^__^
"When my emotions are wounded, her motions and movements chase the ghosts from me."
[Edit]: Now I have a Hurt icon. w00t.
40 squares down, 142 to go. Luckily, only 51 more of the complicated blocks. The other 91 are fast.
Quilting. *rolls eyes*
"Do you do what you do for the love of it?"
I really don't want to go to work tomorrow. I wish I could have figured out a way to get PB the keys so I could sleep in. After spending my entire weekend out there, I'm ready for a day off. Granted, my "day off" is going to revolve around cleaning, laundry, grocery shopping, and cooking. w00t.
"Was I enough?"
Sometimes, I'm so tempted to post my "private" entries as "public".
"Searching for something I could never give you."
Wow, my weekend was boring.
Didn't end up going to Indy yesterday. Mom sent me a text telling me not to bother, so I stayed home. Had an exciting two days of playing Sims and watching X-Files. Mixed it up this afternoon with some cooking and Buffy, though.
Honestly, I was glad to stay home. I wasn't in the mood for the drive, nor do I have the money to spend on gas. Having a hard enough time this month. However, she said she's coming down on Tuesday with one of our friend's child to see the farm. That should be a much better time than the weekend would have been. Plus, no extra driving for me! I'm so bad.
*bangs head on desk* Big plans. *sigh*
Random fireworks all night long in my neighbor hood are wearing my nerves thin. I'm good with a little festive fun, but right now I can't wait until they run out of explosives.
I love Third Eye Blind, but I'm certain I've expressed that before.
Going back and reading my subjects always makes me smile. I do so love to use lyrics to say things without actually saying them myself. Lyrics are so convenient that way.
No other exciting news to report. Not that I'm implying that any of that was exciting. Night.
After my rather intense outburst last entry, I've had a couple days to think about everything. I still passionately hate my major. That's a given. So, I've put some serious thought into what I'm going to do to make my life better.
Starting now, I'm going to put back as much money as I can. The first thing I need to make anything possible is land, so I need to save money for a down payment on that. I'm only looking for 10-15 acres. Depending on how things go in the next two years, I'm seriously considering going overseas either summer '10 or '11 to make more money so I can build a barn. If my funds do not allow me to build a small house at that time, I'll build an apartment in the hay barn.
I did find some land that I'm very interested in. If I can save up $1000 by Christmas and it's still available, I'll talk to my dad about it. I figure I can rent it out to a local farmer and make enough to pay the property taxes. If I do end up buying that land, I'll just have to bump my hours back to 15 hours a semester (which isn't a problem) and get a damn job. But, if it will get me what I want, then I'll do it. Better than waiting around for life to find me.
My goal is to build the hay barn, house, and a shed to get started with. I would probably buy 4 gelded males that first year. Guess all I need now is to think of a name.
"Now I stand..."
Not too much else going on. Just trying to straighten up my apartment a little, then I'm driving up to Indy for the evening. I was told there would be free beer, so I guess we'll see how that goes.
"I hope you found what you were lookin' for."
I had a pretty decent weekend. Worked on Saturday, hung out with my aunt and cousin, worked on my tan (or rather impressive burn), went to the grocery, and made food for the week. Nothing exciting, but it was nice enough.
I really like making the food for the week on Sunday. I wanted to do that before I started college, but I've never been together enough to do it. But, since I work so much throughout the week, I really don't feel like cooking, so either I cook on Sunday or I don't eat. So, I cook on Sunday. This week I'll be eating fish with rice, hummus, chickpea salad, chili, and cantaloupe.
Looks like I need to scrape together $200 to join a local food co-op in my area, called Terre Foods. I'm thinking it would certainly be worth it. The co-op would be a fantastic thing for the White Violet Center, because they would be able to sell food there on top of what we sell at our farmer's market on Wednesdays. I love that there are 81 members/families in this co-op and I know at least 5 of them at a glance. It's a little scary how much I know about this community just by living here for 3 years. I'm a very strange people-hater.
For reference, organic peanut butter is really very good. Keep in mind that you have to keep it refrigerated, because it lacks preservatives.
Oh, my sunburn is cool. I look like a fucking candy cane. Everything but my face and arms was pasty white, so I've been laying out. Well, today it caught up with me. So, I'm a lovely shade of red up against white. Very festive for the 4th, I guess. Hopefully it turns tan before then! Probably have to lay off with the tanning for a couple days. Lame.
I want to buy more books.
"Does it matter that it wasn't your idea?"
When I close my eyes, I see alpaca faces. It cracks me up. I love their silly noses.
I fell asleep so early last night. Like, 9 o'clock early. I woke up a few times to text, but that was about it. Of course, then when I actually had a conversation at 1 o'clock, it took me forever to go back to sleep. My sleep patterns are so crazy.
Supposed to go out to dinner with my grandmother tonight. Her husband is out of town, so she's bored. That should be exciting. At least I get to pick where we're going. She's not going to be thrilled that the AC in my car isn't so great when it's this hot.
I'm kind of lonely here. Some days are better than others, I guess. I always get a little down when I'm exhausted. I wish I had a cat.
*sigh* Big plans.
I'm currently sitting on my balcony. It's about 80 degrees with impressive humidity, but a nice breeze. I'm drinking a Leinie Honey Weiss and eating shell peas straight from the pod. I'm chatting with friends via AIM on my laptop and texting with my newly replaced phone.
This is an awesome way to spend an evening.
"At times I almost dream. I too have spent a life the sage's way. And tread once more familiar paths. Perchance I've perished in an arrogant self-reliance an age ago, and in that act of prayer for one more chance went up so earnest, so... Instinct with better light let in by death that life was blotted out not so completely, but scattered wrecks, enough of it to remain dim memories. As now, one seems once more... the goal in sight again."
"I was here. As were you. This is the field where I watched you die."
"Your eyes may have changed shade, but it cannot colour the soul behind them. We've come together in this life, this time, only to meet in passing. It is so heartbreaking to wait... I miss you."
"The souls come back together. Different, but always together. Again and again to learn."
"She doesn't know. She doesn't know that I'm waiting for her. That we will live again. We will live again."
I want to believe.