Tags: writing

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Rabbit Hole Day 2009: Just passing it on

Via the terrible and almighty warren_ellis:

http://crisper.livejournal.com/26562.html

Let’s face it. You’re in a blog rut.

Most of the time, you write about more of the same kinda stuff that you usually write about.

Maybe it’s your day-to-day life, the stuff you did. Maybe it’s topical news response. Maybe it’s short fiction. Maybe it’s re-linking random stuff you see on the internet. Maybe it’s LOLCAT porn. (I hope it’s not LOLCAT porn.) Maybe it’s here on LiveJournal, or it’s over on Vox, or Blogspot or Blogger or Blogblog or Postablogablowablog, or WordPress or Facebook or FacePress or FacePlant or maybe it’s just your Twitter account. It’s what you’re comfortable with, I know, I know…

…but why not try doing something different, just for a day?

Two weeks from today, Tuesday January 27th, is Lewis Carroll’s 177th birthday. Carroll, you’ll recall, wrote about a girl who fell down a rabbit hole and found herself in a place where all the rules had changed. In two weeks, on Lewis Carroll’s 177th birthday, you should do the same.

That’s right: the 5th Annual Rabbit Hole Day is coming.

When you wake up on the 27th, instead of writing about your usual work and school and politics and friends and news and stuff, experience life down the Rabbit Hole and write about the work, the school, the politics, the friends, the news, the stuff that you find there instead. Travel through time. Turn into an animal. Flee from assassins. Talk to your goldfish. Conquer Greenland. Sprout some extra limbs. Learn how to walk on water. Marry an insect.

Take a break from the Every Day and write about your Rabbit Hole Day. Your normal life will be waiting for you when you get back.
word can help write your suicide note

Internet scrapings, offbeat news and other oddities.

Telescopic Text: I made Tea. Or, illustrating the importance of brevity in creative writing. Via Cynical C blog.

How many camels is your girlfriend worth? Find out with this handy calculator. According to this thing, Kim is worth 37 camels, 6 goats and 0 sheep :D

5 lies you were taught in history class.

Answering the question "If you aren't doing anything wrong, what do you have to hide?" concerning privacy versus security, or rather, liberty versus control.

Remember that priest proposing a beauty contest for nuns? Yeah, it's been cancelled.

Denver mint fails to levitate; 9/11 conspiracy theorist has screaming match with Michelle Malkin; Democratic National Congress otherwise unremarkable.

Mom attempts to hack up her two adopted Chinese girls to death with an ax, then attempts to stab self, fails. She was overwhelmed with financial pressures and incredible stress and sought help over fears that she would harm her girls.

How the Soviets drilled the deepest hole in the world.

How to pick out the perfect pet tarantula.

NJ puppy scares off three bears.

Father who ran off reunited with the son he left behind, after 22 years... both doing hard time in the same prison for sex offenses. Awww. Via Fark, of course.

Man spends $10,000 on bar mitzvah. For his dog.

Two brothers burn down their grandma's house trying to play a prank on their cousin, who wasn't even home at the time. Alcohol may have been involved.

The Catholic Church is under growing pressure to abandon the exhumation and reburial of the body of one its most famous cardinals in defiance of his wish to lie for eternity next to the man he loved. So much WTFery here if you really think about it. If the Catholic stance on homosexuality is that it is wrong, then how did this guy end up (and remain) a Cardinal in the first place? If he was buried next to his lover, it's hardly a secret. And what does exhuming his corpse and moving him prove by now? And by this measure, aren't there dozens or hundreds more worthy (?) prominent deceased figures in the Catholic Church's history that should be exhumed and "chastized" long before this guy?

Cows have the ability to remember and recognize human faces. Also, research using Google Earth images has proved that cows have a magnetic sense, like birds.

The Mona Lisa remixed by various prominent modern artists. Hilarity ensues.
word can help write your suicide note

(no subject)

From this post by accomplished comic book writer and lesser god in the making warren_ellis:

I can’t tell you how many new hopeful comics writers I meet who have never finished anything in their lives because their intended first project is a hundred-episode epic that creates a whole new universe or three. And I tell them all the same thing: you’re screwed. No-one will want it. Not until you’ve written something short, capable
of being produced on a budget, and finished. Your epic may be worldchanging, but no-one will ever know because no publisher will gamble that kind of money on an unknown. And that’s before you get to the vagaries of the attention economy.


http://warren-ellis.livejournal.com/188976.html

LISTEN TO THIS MAN YOU IDIOTS, HE IS WISE.
word can help write your suicide note

(no subject)

This was emailed to me by my friend Luke, who usually never emails me forwarded nonsense. But this was hilarious:



Here's a prime example of the whole 'Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus' thing offered up by an English professor from the University of Colorado (supposedly) for an actual class assignment.

The professor told his class one day: 'Today we will experiment with a new form called the tandem story. The process is simple. Each person will pair off with the person sitting to his or her immediate right. As homework tonight, one of you will write the first paragraph of a short story. You will e-mail your partner that paragraph and send another copy to me. The partner will read the first paragraph and then add another paragraph to the story and send it back, also sending another copy to me. The first person will then add a third paragraph, and so on back-and-forth.

Remember to re-read what has been written each time in order to keep the story coherent. There is to be absolutely NO talking outside of the e-mails and anything you wish to say must be written in the e-mail. The story is over when both agree a conclusion has been reached.'

The following was turned in by two of his students, Rebecca and Gary.


THE STORY: (first paragraph by Rebecca)

At first, Jennifer couldn't decide which kind of tea she wanted. The chamomile, which used to be her favorite for lazy evenings at home, now reminded her too much of Carl, who once said, in happier times, that he liked chamomile. But she felt she must now, at all costs, keep her mind off Carl. His possessiveness was suffocating, and if she thought about him too much her asthma started acting up again. So chamomile was out of the question.

(second paragraph by Gary)

Meanwhile, Advance Sergeant Carl Harris, leader of the attack squadron now in orbit over Skylon 4, had more important things to think about than the neuroses of an air-headed asthmatic bimbo named Jennifer with whom he had spent one sweaty night over a year ago. 'A.S. Harris to Geostation 17,' he said into his transgalactic communicator. 'Polar orbit established. No sign of resistance so far...' But before he could sign off a bluish particle beam flashed out of nowhere and blasted a hole through his ship's cargo bay. The jolt from the direct hit sent him flying out of his seat and across the cockpit.

(Rebecca)

He bumped his head and died almost immediately, but not before he felt one last pang of regret for psychically brutalizing the one woman who had ever had feelings for him. Soon afterwards, Earth stopped its pointless hostilities towards the peaceful farmers of Skylon 4. 'Congress Passes Law Permanently Abolishing War and Space Travel', Jennifer read in her newspaper one morning. The news simultaneously excited her and bored her. She stared out the window, dreaming of her youth, when the days had passed unhurriedly and carefree, with no newspaper to read, no television to distract her from her sense of innocent wonder at all the beautiful things around her. 'Why must one lose one's innocence to become a woman?' she pondered wistfully.

(Gary)

Little did she know, but she had less than 10 seconds to live. Thousands of miles above the city, the Anudrian mothership launched the first of its lithium fusion missiles. The dim-witted wimpy peaceniks who pushed the Unilateral Aerospace Disarmament Treaty through the Congress had left Earth a defenseless target for the hostile alien empires who were determined to destroy the human race. Within two hours after the passage of the treaty the Anudrian ships were on course for Earth, carrying enough firepower to pulverize the entire planet. With no one to stop them, they swiftly initiated their diabolical plan. The lithium fusion missile entered the atmosphere unimpeded. The President, in his top-secret mobile submarine headquarters on the ocean floor off the coast of Guam, felt the inconceivably massive explosion, which vaporized poor, stupid Jennifer.

(Rebecca)

This is absurd. I refuse to continue this mockery of literature. My writing partner is a violent, chauvinistic semi-literate adolescent.

(Gary)

Yeah? Well, my writing partner is a self-centered tedious neurotic whose attempts at writing are the literary equivalent of V@lium. 'Oh, shall I have chamomile tea? Or shall I have some other sort of F****** TEA??? Oh no, what am I to do? I'm such an air-headed bimbo who reads too many Danielle Steele novels!'

(Rebecca)

A$$hole.

(Gary)

B****!

(Rebecca)

F*** YOU - YOU NEANDERTHAL!!

(Gary)

In your dreams, Ho. Go drink some tea.

(TEACHER)

A+ - I really liked this one.