Tags: work

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Fun at work

So i was transcribing the latest TWiT (This Week in Tech) podcast for work. They're talking about Microsoft co-founder Paul Allen, nd a guest says the following:

"I think it was Bill Gates’ wedding. There was a bunch of Richie Riches that brought their yachts to the harbor on Lanai where Bill Gates got married. And all the yachts were lined up. And apparently, someone else’s yacht was a foot and a half longer than Paul Allen’s. He put it into drydock and added three feet."

If I ever get really, really rich and start doing stuff like that, I expect you guys to come find me, and shoot me in the head.
word can help write your suicide note

(no subject)

So I'm getting the giant LG laptop on Saturday! w00t!

I shall call her Leviathan.

This is for lack of a feminine sounding name that means "really freaking gigantic." If you can come up with a girly name reflecting that this laptop is the size of a small car, then suggest away, Leviathan isn't final just yet. It's slightly less ugly sounding than Behemoth or whatnot.

I was explaining to aoitenshi that she's a girl because she runs a Microsoft OS, therefore will behave erratically and unpredictably whenever it feels like just for the fun/sadism of it.

/obligatory etc

The stats:

19 inch screen, 1440 x 900 rez.
Pentium Core 2 Duo 1.8 or 2.0 Ghz
250 or 320 GB HDD, 2 to 4 GB of RAM (I'll aim for at least 3)
Vista Home Premium, no option to switch to XP although I;ll beg / bribe / perform sexual favors on / etc the salesman to see if there's any options there.
Promotional 5 year full warranty for free, which is freakin unheard of.
Weight: 7 kilos, or about 15 pounds.
And all the usual, Bluetooth, WiFi etc.
I'm not sure if she comes with her own wheelbarrow, but I'll ask :D

Sauce etc on the LG India homepag


Along with this I'll probably be buying Kim a new phone. I haven't bought her anything recently and we haven't done anything fun / romantic / etc in ages, and there's a very good reason for that. It's because I suck. No, it's terrible. The problem also is that she's so stoic and easygoing so she won't say anything or complain ever. In all honesty I doubt she minds but I do, because she's awesome and deserves better. So maybe a date or something, let's see.

Meanwhile, in other news, working from home. It's way better than I thought it would be, although my laid back chill out bamboo furniture doesn't lend itself to this kind of work, more like lazing back watching TV as opposed to sitting upright and alert, editing financial transcripts all night. If possible I may buy a new actual computer desk and proper chair rather than this bohemian bamboo nonsense, but let's see if the money allows it. It's gonna be a tight month and whatnot.

Well, back to work I go. Laters etc.
word can help write your suicide note

(no subject)

So my office is hiring in North East India, in Guwahati to be exact, tapping into an as-yet untappped talent pool over there.

As you probably know, the job is essentially editing, proofreading and a little research. The primary requirement is excellent English, because the rest of the stuff you can learn.

However there are people with lousy English who try out anyway, and then there's a realm of epic failure so hilarious it kind of wins. As part of the testing process, applicants were asked to write out a paragraph or two on any topic to demonstrate their grasp of English.

Hilarity ensued. Two particular samples sent to us by our friends running the new branch there had us in splits at the start of tonight's shift:

Exhibit one:

"Geography: geography is a important subject of all student. Geography means "geo" means earth and "graphy" means study. So it is called study of earth. There are seven country and five ocean in the earth. The seven country are---Asia, Eurup, North america, South America, Asteliya, Affica, and North Pole. Asia is the biggest country of the world. Our India is situated in Asia country."

LOLLERZ. On to Exhibit two:

"Sex: sex is fellings of mind. There is two type of sex in the world. i.e. one is male and one is female. Basically the male person are more interested on female. In another words we all are depends on opposite sex. Less no. of person can live without sex. Less no. person has sex. They are called Hijira. They are most unhappy person."

Note: It's actually Hijra, not Hijira, and the term referrs to traditional Indian eunuchs. Warning: link goes to Wikipedia article featuring a terrifying pic of a horribly unconvincing ex-man in a sari.

Anyway, I suggested that a real interview test for a potential editor would be to edit the above samples (especially the second one) into something coherent and perfectly readable by Wall Street analysts, who are basically the guys that end up reading our transcripts. Oh, and you'd have to do it in less than three times the length of time it took you to read it.

Good times, good times.
word can help write your suicide note

(no subject)

Via BoingBoing: Russian office worker completely loses it, goes nuts, wrecks shit up.

http://view.break.com/513310 - Watch more free videos

This is a real-life "the Office" outrage caught by security camera. There is a follow up video clip (with audio) to this caught via cell phone by one of the employees on the scene, which shows the outraged worker eventually got tazed. Not clear exactly where it happened, but some people wrote in that this happened in Russia. I guess the corporate world can drive people to the brink of insanity anywhere in the world."

Real or fake? I don't know.

Another link with a second video, with sound.

In my job in Faridabad working for a so-called Christian ministry / charity, there wasn't a day after the first three weeks that I didn't want to do exactly this. There were key moments when I did flip out, cry, punch a hole in a wall, but nothing even close to this guy. In retrospect I wish I had but oh well.

Inexplicably, this guy is my new hero o.O