Tags: suicide

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Repost: Not-so-famous last words.

"You must pardon me, gentlemen, for being a most unconscionable time a-dying."
Who: Charles II, King of England, 1685

"Take a step forward lads - it'll be easier that way."
Who: Robert Erskine Childers, to his firing squad, Irish Civil War 1922

"In keeping with Channel 40's policy of bringing you the latest in blood and guts and in living color, you are going to see another first -- attempted suicide."
Who: 30-year-old anchorwoman Christine Chubbuck, who, on July 15, 1974 during a live newscast, said these words before producing a revolver and shooting herself in the head. While she drew the gun on camera, the technicians quickly cut the video feed, but the gunshot could be clearly heard. She was pronounced dead in hospital fourteen hours later.

"It's better to burn out than to fade away."
Who: Kurt Cobain, suicide note.

"More Weight."
Who: Giles Corey, while being slowly crushed to death under massive boulders during the Salem Witch Trials because he would not answer the court.

"Where is my clock?"
Who: Salvador Dalí.

"Hurrah for anarchy! This is the happiest moment of my life."
Who: George Engel, anarchist, union activist, shouted before his execution at the gallows.

"I've had a hell of a lot of fun and I've enjoyed every minute of it."
Who: Errol Flynn.

"Kiss my ass."
Who: John Wayne Gacy, just before being executed by lethal injection.

"It's stopped."
Who: Joseph Henry Green, upon checking his own pulse.

"I know you are here to kill me. Shoot, coward, you are only going to kill a man."
Who: Che Guevara to his assassin.

"Everything is an illusion."
Who: Mata Hari, spoken to a visitor before she faced a firing squad. The words reflect the Eastern mysticism which had long fascinated her.

"Goodbye Bill. I die like a true blue rebel. Don't waste any time in mourning. Organize."
Who: Joe Hill, in a letter to Bill Haywood, leader of the Industrial Workers of the World, before he was led to his execution by firing squad. It should be noted, however, that after he heard the words of the executioner, "Ready... aim..." Hill shouted out his actual final word as a command: Fire!

"Don't worry…it's not loaded."
Who: Terry Kath, rock musician in the band Chicago, as he put the gun he was cleaning to his head and pulled the trigger. Though the gun had no magazine in it, Kath was unaware that a bullet was already in the chamber; he was killed instantly.

"The bastards got me, but they won't get everybody."
Who: Alexander Litvinenko, whistleblowing former Russian spy was poisoned with a radioactive isotope in a London sushi bar. Said in an interview on November 23, 2006, hours before his death. (The Times, November 24, 2006)

"Die, my dear? Why, that's the last thing I'll do!"
Who: Groucho Marx.

"Don't make a mess of it - shoot straight, you bastards."
Who: Harry Morant to his firing squad.

"Is it safe?"
Who: William Palmer, before stepping on the gallows trap.

"Adesso (or ora) vi faccio vedere come muore un italiano!"
Translation: "Now I will show you how an Italian dies!"
Who: Fabrizio Quattrocchi, Italian security officer taken hostage in Iraq early in the Iraq War. When his captors came to execute him he rose from his knees, refused to kneel back down, and said these words.

"Yes...A bullet-proof vest."
Who: James W. Rodgers, when asked if he has any last requests before facing a firing squad.

"I'd like to be in hell in time for dinner."
Who: Edward H. Ruloff, a convicted serial killer and last person to be executed by hanging in the State of New York.

"They couldn't hit an elephant at this distance."
These were among the final words of General John Sedgwick, Union Commander in the U.S. Civil War, who was hit by sniper fire a few minutes after saying them, at the battle of Spotsylvania, on May 9, 1864.

"Dying is easy, comedy is hard."
Who: George Bernard Shaw on his death bed.

"Relax — This won't hurt."
Who: Hunter S. Thompson (the final sentence on his suicide note).

"The sadness will last forever."
Who: Vincent van Gogh, from his suicide note.

"I have offended God and mankind because my work did not reach the quality it should have."
Who: Leonardo da Vinci.

Sauce: Wikiquote and Wikipedia.
word can help write your suicide note

Internet scrapings and offbeat news

Scientists ecstatic at capturing video and actual sample of a whale shark taking a dump.

Michael Jackson is being sued in court by a Bahraini prince for reneging on a deal to record an album and write his autobiography, after the prince floated him cash to help him through his financial troubles.

A man left paralyzed after a vicious attack by Neo Nazis is planning a trip to Switzerland to commit suicide; while a famous disabled journalist pleads with him to choose life instead.

Supermarket gives back to the community, poisons discarded food to get homeless bums out of its garbage.

Also from Sweden: Man wins right to be legally named Madeline.

Islamic theologian hired for outreach to Muslims declares Mohammed probably never existed. Awkward? Fatwah in 3... 2... 1...

Hundreds of Indonesians protest anti-porn law, declaring it a threat to religious freedom.

Barclays avoids shareholder revolt by axing executive bonuses and revamping their payment plan.

Italian Air Force holding public name contest to come up with a less boring generic name for its new fighter jet. First price is a free ride in it.

Speaking of fighter jets, a Mig 29 could be yours for the low, low price of US $544,734.67 from this Russian military equipment webstore.

The word "meh" enters dictionary.

A gallery of the most extreme conditions ever recorded on the face of the Earth.

A visual guide to the financial crisis for the rest of us.

Five gadgets that were killed by the cellphone.

How to spot a fake Rolex.

As usual, more offbeat news over at fivethreenews and 53news.blogspot.com :D
word can help write your suicide note

Internet scrapings etc.

This cartoon book named "Book of Bunny Suicides: Little Fluffy Rabbits Who Just Don't Want To Live Anymore" is being pulled from the shelves in China after a 12 year old committed suicide and four other kids attempted to kill themselves.
The book is filled with cartoons of a cute bunny trying to kill itself in bizarre and often improbable ways, and is more morbid humor than kid's book. "The cartoon bunny's attempts to commit suicide are ridiculous. They're obviously meant to be funny. The pressures those poor children face come from reality, not a comic book," said the book publisher's marketing director.

Drunk guy arrested for humping a Chevy Blazer.

Kevin Smith's movie poster gets censored by the MPAA, replaced with stick figures, becomes more awesome.

Hubble finds "something" in previously empty region in space, and no one has even the faintest clue what the hell it is.

Bird's Nest Architects' Latest Unveiling: A vertigo-inducing Jenga apartment tower in NYC.

And now, high heels for babies.

23 Muslims were killed in a stampede of thousands in Indonesia trying to receive a cash handout for the holy month of Ramadan worth £2.36 each from a rich family.

Activist poledancers demand Olympic recognition.

Epic fail as streaker knocks self unconscious during game.

Vegetarians are six times more likely to have shrinking brains.

Satanists kill and eat four teenagers in Russia.

Babysitter sticks five month old in clothes dryer, turned it on and walked off because she was frustrated with him.

Prosecutors can’t use secret videotapes of a Watertown minister having sex with his comatose wife while she was in a nursing home because of what looks like a legal loophole. His lawyer called the case "tragic," arguing that he had a reasonable expectation of privacy, and that he "visited her daily, reading to her, praying with her."

Teacher gives lecture on photography to high school class using laptop and projector, gives them an assignment to start working on, starts looking at S&M porn on laptop, forgets that the projector is still running with the class of high schoolers watching the same thing he is. Hilarity ensues.

Fourth grader suspended for using a broken pencil sharpener.

Ten years of messages from Osama Bin Laden leaked onto Wikileaks. One message includes bin Laden's denial of having anything to do with the September 11, 2001 attacks in New York City, Washington DC, and Pennsylvania.

Star Trek's George Takei marries his partner in a Buddhist ceremony in Los Angeles.

Dog dials 911.

A fantastically horrible 1946 Disney film about menstruation, "The Story of Menstruation."

1,253 babies in China have gotten sick from drinking powered milk that had been intentionally spiked with melamine, a chemical used to make plastic tableware.

Meanwhile authorities in Naples are warning people not to buy bread made by the Mafia, as it is baked with carcinogenic wood.

Iraeli city to use DNA testing on dog poop to punish / reward dog owners.

Peugeot bringing a hybrid to Le Mans.
word can help write your suicide note

Internet scrapings and offbeat news

LOL, Cockburg.

Happy birthday, Mike The Headless Chicken!

Socotra Island: The most bizarre, alien looking place on planet earth.
Geographically isolated from mainland Africa for the last 6 or 7 million years, like the Galapagos Islands, this island is teeming with 700 extremely rare species of flora and fauna, a full 1/3 of which are endemic, i.e. found nowhere else on Earth.

Tardigrades or water bears, uber tough tiny bugs that can survive temperatures above 300 degrees Fahrenheit and below minus 240 degrees Fahrenheit, survive open space.
Microbiologists from the Institute of Aerospace Medicine sent tardigrades into orbit last September and exposed them to the cosmic radiation and deep vacuum of space. They returned alive. Once in orbit, the tardigrade box popped open. Some were exposed to low-level cosmic radiation, and others to both cosmic and unfiltered solar radiation. All were exposed to the frigid vacuum of space. Just how the invertebrate astronauts protected themselves "remains a mystery," wrote the researchers.

BME: Discussing the idea that employers should reconsider their dress codes now that so many people are tattooed and pierced today that it's reached a "critical mass" type of effect.
As Ozzy Osbourne himself said, "if you really want to be different, DON'T get a tatto, because everyone and their mum's already got one."

Neatorama: Ten things about the Large Hadron Collider you wanted to know but were afraid to ask.
Including the fact that the inside is colder than outer space.

Also, a 16 year old girl in India committed suicide by swallowing weedkiller because she thought the LHC would destroy the earth. The obvious question is why she would choose to kill herself in such a painful manner rather than be painlessly obliterated in an instant, but whatever.

Eleven colorful optical illusions that will make you literally not believe your eyes.
With explanations of how they work. Amazing.

About the small but growing movement of tiny homes, defined as homes smaller than 1,000 square feet, often smaller than even 100 square feet.

Cracked: Seven real college scholarships that require absolutely no talent.
I agree with an art school friend of mine that argued that there should also be a scholarship for normal, healthy, straight, right-handed white males, since they've got a scholarship for every other possible demographic you can think of.

Also from Cracked: Nine of the most terrifying, messed up restaurants in the world.
Including a highly exclusive one where you f*ck an animal and then eat it, apparently. Ten more unusual restaurants.

Beehive truck gets into accident in China, triggering a massive swarm of pissed off bees.
Six people were killed.

Obnoxious CVS clerk calls HIV+ patient a "fucking AIDS freak" while his boss looks on.

Tonya Harding Shot JFK dot com. Enough said.

Quebec man changes name to dodge relentless airport screening. The disturbing thing is that it worked for him, therefore it could theoretically work for any terrorist too, right?

Also: House burns down because Homeland Security shut off the sprinklers to fight terrorism. Apparently a lot of other houses may have no water in their sprinkler systems because of Homeland Security.

Also also: Man gets investigated by Homeland Security over bean plant.

On the 7th anniversary of 9/11, Cameron O'Reilly asks: "Assuming there really is a guy called Osama Bin Laden, has he won? Here’s some questions to ask yourself:
1. Is America’s reputation abroad stronger or weaker today than it was pre-9/11?
2. Is America’s economy stronger or weaker today than it was pre-9/11?
3. Is America’s internal political climate more or less divisive today than it was pre-9/11?
4. Does America have more or less enemies today than it did pre-9/11?
5. What would most Americans say the reason for the 9/11 attacks was?
I’m guessing a poll would show most think “they hate our freedom” is the answer. FAIL. I suspect most Americans have learned nothing from the last six years.
...I submit to you that if bin Laden’s objective was to hurt America, he has already won."

Fourth grader suspended for two days for using a broken pencil sharpener. The boy -- a fourth-grader described as a well-behaved and good student -- cried during the meeting with his mom, the deputy and the school's assistant principal. He had no criminal intent in having the blade at school, the sheriff's report stated, but was suspended for at least two days and could face further disciplinary action.

Newspaper sales have fallen a record $3 billion in just six months.

Hummer dealership in Las Vegas to stop selling Hummers and sell smartcars and mopeds instead.

How to escape a hurricane by car.

Italian comedienne arrested for blasphemy, may get upto five years.

Hot rumors are circulating that HP is secretly working on switching completely to their own customized Linux OS to combat consumer dislike and bitching about Vista's bullshit, and then compete with Apple. Makes perfect sense. What good is the best hardware when your OS is a pile of dogshit?

Neighbors keep pissing on the all-glass roof of a trendy bar and nightclub in New York's SoHo.

Israeli jailed after forbidding a pregnant woman in labor past a checkpoint, leading to her giving birth right there, and her baby was stillborn.

MASA plans to put a nuclear reactor on the moon.

Also, Interplanetary internet tested in space.

And now, a cellphone charger for your bicycle, powered by your pedalling.

YouTube bans terrorist training videos.

An Australian politician lost his job after getting drunk and dancing in his underpants at a staff party.

Police closed down a Berlin sweet shop after discovering the owner was selling chocolates and lollipops laced with hallucinogenic mushrooms and marijuana.

Women are more prone to nightmares and have more intensely emotional dreams than men, according to a recent study.

Australian authorities are on the hunt for a teenager who kicked and punched a confused kangaroo to the ground while his friend videotaped and laughed. Bizarre, because I thought kangaroos could be surprisingly quite aggressive.

The RSPCA has asked clergymen to pray for pets.

Orthodox rabbis blacklist popular music. Yawn. Look up Hells Bells.

Japan leads the world in broadband.

Mom who microwaved her baby to death gets life in prison.

New Zealand's national airline needs bald people to tattoo advertisments onto in a new campaign.

Madonna dedicates her song "Like a Virgin" to Pope Benedict XVI. I'm surprised it wasn't Like A Prayer instead.

A group in a tiny overwhelmingly Christian town in Alabama is ready to pay $50,000 for Jews to move there. DOTHAN, Ala. — Larry Blumberg is looking for a few good Jews to move to his corner of the Bible Belt. Blumberg is chairman of an organization offering Jewish families as much as $50,000 to relocate to Dothan, an overwhelmingly Christian town of 58,000 that calls itself the Peanut Capital of the World. Get involved at Temple Emanu-El and stay at least five years, the group’s leaders say, and the money doesn’t have to be repaid. Via Friendly Atheist.

Saudi Arabia's top judiciary official has issued a religious decree saying it is permissible to kill the owners of satellite TV networks that broadcast immoral content.

Top fifteen most disgusting, repulsive food dishes in the world in clear, large pics, so be warned. Includes duck fetus, bee larvae, maggots, scorpions, dogs and ox penis. I personally know several people who have eaten dog and cat meat, and one American woman who had the duck fetus thing mentioned during a missionary trip to the Philippines.
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Six legged, two tailed mutant deer gets attacked by dogs, has second tail amputated. Darwin fails.

Handcuffed man dies after being Tasered by cop 9 times. He stopped twitching after the seventh 50,000 volt zap. The medical examiner says he was most probably already dead at that point and has ruled it a homicide.

Drug smugglers use Hurricane Dolly as cover.

Police allegedly marched a rape victim who had been found crying in the street at 1am to a cab firm, and then made her pay the fare home. The woman, said to be an executive who earns £70,000 a year, had been at a party on a Thames boat and was spotted by passers-by, slumped on a south London pavement. To top it off, she had to share a cab with a strange man.

Canine pornstars up for adoption.

Thanks in part to suicide guides, sites and clubs on the internet, Japan is in the midst of a suicide epidemic. Hundreds of Japanese have killed themselves this year by mixing ordinary household chemicals into a lethal cloud of poison gas that often injures others and forces the evacuation of entire apartment blocks.
The 517 self-inflicted deaths by hydrogen sulfide poisoning this year are part of a bigger, grimmer story: Nearly 34,000 Japanese killed themselves last year, according to the Japanese national police. That's the second-highest toll ever in a country where the suicide rate is ninth highest in the world and more than double that of the USA, the World Health Organization says.

Suicidal man on fifth story ledge finally decides not to jump, but then while trying to get down, slips and falls to concrete. He's in critical condition.

Protester superglues himself to British Prime Minister Gordon Brown. Video.

Actual headline: Men sentenced for setting friend's crotch ablaze. Yes, alcohol was involved.

Dumbest. Generation. Ever.

Golfers hide under a tree during thunderstorm, you can guess what happened next. They couldn't recall what year it was, but one of them could still remember the golf score.

Beijing setting up designated protest zones for Olympics.

Man takes up a dare to play chicken with freeway traffic in his underwear. And loses.
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Red Lobster Exec commits suicide, attempts to frame it as a murder, possibly inspired by an episode of CSI.

"Thomas Hickman drove through New Mexico, police say, until his Jeep Grand Cherokee Laredo ran out of gas. Then the 55-year-old North Richland Hills man walked into a field, tied helium balloons to a gun, covered his mouth with duct tape, and shot himself in the back of the head, according to New Mexico State Police."

As Poirot once put it: "Not a murder made to look like a suicide, but a suicide made to look like a murder."

Editorial cartoonists: A dying breed, apparently.

Mom doesn't bother reporting her five year old daughter missing because "she was doing her own investigation."
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(no subject)

Today in history:

On this day in 1974, Christine Chubbuck became the first and only newscaster in history to commit suicide on live television.

She was doing the news live as usual, covered four news stories, and then looking right into the camera, said:

"In keeping with Channel 40's policy of bringing you the latest in blood and guts, and in living color, you are going to see another first: an attempted suicide."

She then pulled out a gun and shot herself in the head, behind her ear. She fell forward onto her desk. The camerawoman thought she had pulled off an elaborate prank at first.

Wikipedia: Christine Chubbuck.

Also today in history:

* A decree from Emperor Norton I of San Francisco, Emperor of the United States and Protector of Mexico, dissolves the United States of America.

* AOL Time Warner disbands Netscape Communications. Meanwhile at the same time, the Mozilla Foundation is born.

* Andrew Cunanan guns down fashion designer Gianni Versace outside his home.

Sauce: Dailyrotten and Wikipedia.
word can help write your suicide note

(no subject)

word can help write your suicide note

(no subject)

And now, the latest threat to the Beijing Olympics: Seaweed.

Ayveq, the (in)famous masturbating walrus at the New York Aquarium, has died. :(

In Papua New Guinea, village women are swapping sex for unwanted canned fish. "Since the company's establishment on our land they have given little back in terms of service and as a result the women are now trading sex for fish. Before the company came we were able to make ends meet just by supplying the town with fish. This has changed."

Suicides in National Parks on the rise.

San Francisco voting to possibly "honor" President Bush by renaming a sewage treatment plant after him. Sponsors of the ballot measure say it’s a fitting tribute to a president who made a big mess. The commission, which apparently hatched the idea one night over beers, has collected 8,500 signatures — 1,300 more than the 7,168 needed to get a measure on the November ballot. If officials verify that those signatures are from registered city voters, proposition rename-the-sewage-plant is a go.

Australian kid arrested for offensive behavior for wearing a T-shirt that said "Jesus is a Cunt." The phrase is a Cradle of Filth song. A few months ago, BoingBoing reported a guy not being allowed to board a plane because his T-shirt had a drawing of a Manga robot armed with a sci-fi gun on it. A few years back, an Arab American high school student was suspended for wearing a shirt with a picture of Bush with the slogan "International Terrorist" under it. The student went to a high school whose population was about half Arab Americans and the other half various minorities. And meanwhile, a T-shirt consiting solely of the names of various soldiers killed in the Iraq War in very fine print (done with permission from the soldiers' families) had been banned in multiple states. I didn't know T-shirts were such a threat to public safety.

Woman tries to steal manure, fails, falls into dung tank, flees naked.

NASA says that Martian soil is so similar to Earth soil that asparagus could grow in it.

Ten incredibly bizarre looking, rare cloud types.

There's a very good chance that there will be no ice at the North Pole this summer.

Ironically, Finding Nemo has caused clownfish to become critically endangered.
Demand of the fish as pets from children who loved the film increased sharply after the film's release, leading to over-harvesting of the coral reefs for these tiny clownfish. Facepalm. Not only that, but clownfish are marine fish, which any aquarist will tell you requires pretty freaking advanced fishkeeping skills. It's no goldfish in a goldfish bowl that a kid can take care of.