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13 September 2008 @ 02:45 am


LOL, Cockburg.




Happy birthday, Mike The Headless Chicken!




Socotra Island: The most bizarre, alien looking place on planet earth.
Geographically isolated from mainland Africa for the last 6 or 7 million years, like the Galapagos Islands, this island is teeming with 700 extremely rare species of flora and fauna, a full 1/3 of which are endemic, i.e. found nowhere else on Earth.



Tardigrades or water bears, uber tough tiny bugs that can survive temperatures above 300 degrees Fahrenheit and below minus 240 degrees Fahrenheit, survive open space.
Microbiologists from the Institute of Aerospace Medicine sent tardigrades into orbit last September and exposed them to the cosmic radiation and deep vacuum of space. They returned alive. Once in orbit, the tardigrade box popped open. Some were exposed to low-level cosmic radiation, and others to both cosmic and unfiltered solar radiation. All were exposed to the frigid vacuum of space. Just how the invertebrate astronauts protected themselves "remains a mystery," wrote the researchers.



BME: Discussing the idea that employers should reconsider their dress codes now that so many people are tattooed and pierced today that it's reached a "critical mass" type of effect.
As Ozzy Osbourne himself said, "if you really want to be different, DON'T get a tatto, because everyone and their mum's already got one."



Neatorama: Ten things about the Large Hadron Collider you wanted to know but were afraid to ask.
Including the fact that the inside is colder than outer space.

Also, a 16 year old girl in India committed suicide by swallowing weedkiller because she thought the LHC would destroy the earth. The obvious question is why she would choose to kill herself in such a painful manner rather than be painlessly obliterated in an instant, but whatever.



Eleven colorful optical illusions that will make you literally not believe your eyes.
With explanations of how they work. Amazing.



About the small but growing movement of tiny homes, defined as homes smaller than 1,000 square feet, often smaller than even 100 square feet.




Cracked: Seven real college scholarships that require absolutely no talent.
I agree with an art school friend of mine that argued that there should also be a scholarship for normal, healthy, straight, right-handed white males, since they've got a scholarship for every other possible demographic you can think of.



http://cdn-i.dmdentertainment.com/funpages/cms_content/16632/dinner_sky.gif>
Also from Cracked: Nine of the most terrifying, messed up restaurants in the world.
Including a highly exclusive one where you f*ck an animal and then eat it, apparently. Ten more unusual restaurants.



Beehive truck gets into accident in China, triggering a massive swarm of pissed off bees.
Six people were killed.


Obnoxious CVS clerk calls HIV+ patient a "fucking AIDS freak" while his boss looks on.

Tonya Harding Shot JFK dot com. Enough said.

Quebec man changes name to dodge relentless airport screening. The disturbing thing is that it worked for him, therefore it could theoretically work for any terrorist too, right?

Also: House burns down because Homeland Security shut off the sprinklers to fight terrorism. Apparently a lot of other houses may have no water in their sprinkler systems because of Homeland Security.

Also also: Man gets investigated by Homeland Security over bean plant.

On the 7th anniversary of 9/11, Cameron O'Reilly asks: "Assuming there really is a guy called Osama Bin Laden, has he won? Here’s some questions to ask yourself:
1. Is America’s reputation abroad stronger or weaker today than it was pre-9/11?
2. Is America’s economy stronger or weaker today than it was pre-9/11?
3. Is America’s internal political climate more or less divisive today than it was pre-9/11?
4. Does America have more or less enemies today than it did pre-9/11?
BONUS QUESTION:
5. What would most Americans say the reason for the 9/11 attacks was?
I’m guessing a poll would show most think “they hate our freedom” is the answer. FAIL. I suspect most Americans have learned nothing from the last six years.
...I submit to you that if bin Laden’s objective was to hurt America, he has already won."


Fourth grader suspended for two days for using a broken pencil sharpener. The boy -- a fourth-grader described as a well-behaved and good student -- cried during the meeting with his mom, the deputy and the school's assistant principal. He had no criminal intent in having the blade at school, the sheriff's report stated, but was suspended for at least two days and could face further disciplinary action.

Newspaper sales have fallen a record $3 billion in just six months.


Hummer dealership in Las Vegas to stop selling Hummers and sell smartcars and mopeds instead.


How to escape a hurricane by car.

Italian comedienne arrested for blasphemy, may get upto five years.

Hot rumors are circulating that HP is secretly working on switching completely to their own customized Linux OS to combat consumer dislike and bitching about Vista's bullshit, and then compete with Apple. Makes perfect sense. What good is the best hardware when your OS is a pile of dogshit?

Neighbors keep pissing on the all-glass roof of a trendy bar and nightclub in New York's SoHo.

Israeli jailed after forbidding a pregnant woman in labor past a checkpoint, leading to her giving birth right there, and her baby was stillborn.

MASA plans to put a nuclear reactor on the moon.

Also, Interplanetary internet tested in space.

And now, a cellphone charger for your bicycle, powered by your pedalling.

YouTube bans terrorist training videos.

An Australian politician lost his job after getting drunk and dancing in his underpants at a staff party.

Police closed down a Berlin sweet shop after discovering the owner was selling chocolates and lollipops laced with hallucinogenic mushrooms and marijuana.

Women are more prone to nightmares and have more intensely emotional dreams than men, according to a recent study.

Australian authorities are on the hunt for a teenager who kicked and punched a confused kangaroo to the ground while his friend videotaped and laughed. Bizarre, because I thought kangaroos could be surprisingly quite aggressive.

The RSPCA has asked clergymen to pray for pets.

Orthodox rabbis blacklist popular music. Yawn. Look up Hells Bells.

Japan leads the world in broadband.

Mom who microwaved her baby to death gets life in prison.

New Zealand's national airline needs bald people to tattoo advertisments onto in a new campaign.

Madonna dedicates her song "Like a Virgin" to Pope Benedict XVI. I'm surprised it wasn't Like A Prayer instead.

A group in a tiny overwhelmingly Christian town in Alabama is ready to pay $50,000 for Jews to move there. DOTHAN, Ala. — Larry Blumberg is looking for a few good Jews to move to his corner of the Bible Belt. Blumberg is chairman of an organization offering Jewish families as much as $50,000 to relocate to Dothan, an overwhelmingly Christian town of 58,000 that calls itself the Peanut Capital of the World. Get involved at Temple Emanu-El and stay at least five years, the group’s leaders say, and the money doesn’t have to be repaid. Via Friendly Atheist.

Saudi Arabia's top judiciary official has issued a religious decree saying it is permissible to kill the owners of satellite TV networks that broadcast immoral content.

Top fifteen most disgusting, repulsive food dishes in the world in clear, large pics, so be warned. Includes duck fetus, bee larvae, maggots, scorpions, dogs and ox penis. I personally know several people who have eaten dog and cat meat, and one American woman who had the duck fetus thing mentioned during a missionary trip to the Philippines.
 
 
Current Mood: accomplished
 
 
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Vicar in jail after admitting to have 55,000 images of hardcore child pornography on his computer.


Photo gallery of YouTube's brand new office complex. It's very Google.

Malaysian welder gets penis stuck in metal nut, ends up in hospital. This is barely a week after another Malaysian got his penis stuck in a metal ring.

13 of the Biggest, Strangest, and Most Devastating Sinkholes on Earth.

Photos that changed the world dot com.

Gallery of bulldozers going OM NOM NOM on a beached yacht.

100 year forecast. Image. I LOL'd.

The ten filthiest things in your home, and how to clean them. Not surprisingly, computer keyboard and mouse are on the list. Great for your OCD.

Crime does pay: 6 criminals who lived very, very well.

Egyptian pop star Suzanne Tamim killed and beheaded by hitmen hired by a respected politician and lawmaker.

Man wins contest by gulping 11.5 pounds of chili in 10 minutes.

Meanwhile, a possibly insane Scottish woman has a dish made of SIX Naga Jolokia peppers (the world's hottest chilli peppers, a million times hotter than a jalapeno) and still demands more. She claims she fell in love with spicy food after eating a curry so spicy it made her temporarily deaf. To put this in perspective, the Naga Jolokia pepper is so hot, one pepper is enough to spice up a full meal for five Northeast Indians. Eating one raw would probably put most normal people in hospital. On a good day I can maybe finish up maybe one eighth of a Naga Jolokia (called the Raja mirchi here) with a full plate of pork and rice.

Insect causes four vehicle car crash.

Student sets Facebook status to [name]""is going to kill everyone in school, so don't go", and gets arrested.

American states with high numbers of bigfoot sightings also have high numbers of UFO sightings. Coincidence? Or Freakonomics?

About the largest to-scale model of the solar system. The Sun is the Stockholm Globe Arena in Sweden, the largest hemispherical building in the world at 110 m in diameter; and Pluto is 300 kilometers away and 12 centimeters in diameter.

The 8 most obnoxious internet commenter types.



For more nonsense, weirdness and general asshattery, follow my shared feed items on Google reader.
 
 
 
 
 
 
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Nigerian advises against having 86 wives like he did.
Uh, thanks for the heads up. Bonus: He's a Muslim preacher who credits God for giving him the strength to control them. Oh also, some of his wives are younger than some of his children. Speaking of which, none of them actually work including himself, and he claims God provides the food required to feed and support this massive family - although the article also says his kids beg on the streets for money. LULWUT


Cops drive 4,100 miles from Kentucky to California and back to arrest the wrong man, buy souvenirs on the way, finally realize they got the wrong man upon their return home. The guy they arrested then gave them free haircuts before the cops put him on a plane back. Okay: wat

German police confiscate the world's fastest office chair. It had a lawnmower engine and brakes and was spotted being tested on the streets.

Micropenis defense: The lawyers defending a doctor accused of flashing an undercover cop argue that he could not have actually flashed anyone because his junk is way too small to be plainly visible. Bonus: one of the lawyers' names is Dick.

How to un-Google yourself.

Why you shouldn't grow your weed right on your driveway.

Also, this is why you shouldn't have a fart-lighting contest next to cans of gasoline. Quote from responding fireman: "I think he may have won."

Woman decides to fight shotgun-armed, 6'5", 215-pound convenience store thief... and wins. She actually broke his shotgun during the fight.



Discovery of two-mouthed fish in Alberta fuels oil-sands pollution fears.
This hot on the heels of another Alberta woman who can literally set her tapwater on fire (with pic proof of water spouting a tall blue flame).
 
 
Current Mood: accomplished
 
 
 
_53
15 August 2008 @ 09:54 pm
Al Quaeda in Iraq has banned women from buying cucumbers because they're too phallic, and men from buying tomatoes because they're too feminine. Just my humble opinion, but I think that rules like this say more about the mentality of the people making and enforcing them, than of those made to obey it.

Ten things you didn't know about oil.

What will the suburbs be like in ten or twenty years?

German farmer gets double arm transplant.

Bum stabs bum in argument over who was better panhandler. via kimberlin.


"There were thousands of bodies piled high. I saw hearts that had been taken from live people in medical experiments... They said a wife of one of the SS officers saw a tattoo she liked on the arm of a prisoner, and had the skin made into a lampshade. I saw that."
James Hoyt, one of the four U.S. soldiers to first see Germany's Buchenwald concentration camp, has died at 83.



Flat Earthers still complain of prejudice from people everywhere for believing the earth is a flat disc surrounded all around by the icy ring of the South Pole (pictured).
Quote: "People are definitely prejudiced against flat-Earthers," society member John Davis tells the BBC. "Many use the term 'flat-Earther' as a term of abuse, and with connotations that imply blind faith, ignorance or even anti-intellectualism."


Actual headline: Court grants injunction to stop woman cutting off man's penis.



The White House has its own interrogation room.
...a disturbing case in Washington, D.C., where security officials detained and interrogated Usman Khosa, a Pakistani U.S. college graduate, because he was “fiddling” with his iPod near White House gates. Officials took Khosa to an interrogation room “beneath” the White House. “Usman Khosa is a Pakistani national in his early twenties, a graduate of Connecticut College now working for the International Monetary Fund,” Suskind notes...



More pics of the world's lowest low-riding van.




Introducing the world's smallest solar powered car.
 
 
Current Mood: accomplished
 
 
 
 
 
_53
20 May 2008 @ 03:09 am

Flying penis disrupts Russian press conference, chess grandmaster


Via wtf_inc.

I can't stop laughing.
 
 
Current Mood: amused
 
 
_53
06 June 2007 @ 02:12 am
Actual Headline: World's largest penis erected

Beijing - An amusement park in China has built what it claims is the world's largest penis.

(...) Shi Lixue, director of the China Folk Culture Association, backed the project, saying: "It symbolises our ancestors' pursuit of happiness and prosperity."


ORLY? (link goes to SFW pic)


Actual Headline #2: Drunk, Condom-Wearing Motorcyclist Killed after Night out in Karaoke Bar


Bonus: First Grade Teacher Accused Of Viewing Porn In Classroom


Source: Fark.
 
 
Current Mood: amused
 
 
 
_53
07 January 2007 @ 12:55 pm

naughtiest dilbert strip ever.



click here if you don't get it.
 
 
 
 
_53
04 October 2006 @ 01:05 am
The awesome unimag presents something everyone (especially women) must read:  A Guide To Erections.
"I'm sure many of you are sitting there thinking that erections are really uncomplicated things, and that only the most naive of people could possibly need a guide written for them. I'm also sure that every single one of the people thinking that are women, and that you're all wrong; none of you understand them.
 
Now, it's nothing to be ashamed of - there's plenty of things that men don't really understand about women. Like periods. And clothes-shopping. The key difference here is that we don't convince ourselves that we do understand those things. In fact, we generally go out of our way to avoid learning anything about them. Especially the shopping...

But I digress; my point is that those of you think you don't need to read this guide are undoubtedly the ones who will benefit from it the most...."

Read on...
 
 
Current Mood: amused