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19 December 2008 @ 01:44 am

Nine gigantic hearts seen from above.

Pictured: The tiny half-kilometer island of Galesnjak in Croatia.



Cracked: Eight Guinness world record attempts that went wrong, hilariously.




Meet Summer, the owner of the world's longest tail for a horse.




Judge's daughter sues truck driver she rear-ended and 15 other defendants for negligence in the death of her boyfriend, despite the fact she was drunk and tested three times the legal limit after the accident.

Shelton, her family and the family of the boyfriend who was killed are suing for $20,000 for the destruction of the Lexus SUV she was driving and an undetermined amount for mental anguish, pain and suffering.

Plainclothes cops beat up 12-year-old honor student outside her own home, then arrest her 3 weeks later for fighting back that day.

Zoo apologizes for farting gorillas.
Zoo managers have taken Brussels sprouts off the Christmas menu after the vegetable caused an attack of flatulence in their gorillas. The staff at Chessington Zoo fed the giant apes on the seasonal favourite as they are filled with nutritional goodness. However, they hadn't reckoned with the gassy qualities of the tiny veggies. Now the zoo has issued an apology after guests at the zoo expressed their horror at the potent smell that started emanating from the gorillas' enclosure.

14 habits that make you fat.

After Top Gear's rather unflattering review of the all-electric Tesla Roadster sportscar, Tesla has a lot to say in response to the review.

Miss World, a Russian, photographed holding up her country's flag upside down... again. How do you say FAIL in Russian?

Drillers in Hawaii accidentally stumble upon undisturbed magma chamber, delighting scientists.

Would anyone like a used Space Shuttle?

Volvo has been fined 200,000 Euros for an accident where the brakes on a teacher's Volvo failed, causing her to run over three schoolchildren on their way to school, killing two and seriously injuring the third. The court ruled that Vovlo was aware of the defect but did not issue a recall.

A big gallery of the 2008 Greek riots, triggered after Greek cops shot a 15 year old.

Chrysler has shut down all production, at least for the next 30 days.

Man issues a cheque made out of toilet paper to pay for parking ticket, ends up in court, causes hilarity.

1,500 parakeets rescued from two-room apartment. Is that a new record?

Woman spent hours on a roller-coaster ride, unaware she was pregnant and about to give birth. She gave birth the next day.
In other news: People this stupid are actually breeding. I swear, the movie Idiocracy is a prophecy.

Shark commits suicide by leaping out of tank and into waterslide meant for humans.

Plane hits cow during emergency landing.

Cracked photoshop contest: The Worst Christmas Ever.

The granddaughter of the world's richest man cannot afford insurance or cable TV.

Chief Justice serves filet mignon to homeless.

Wife suspects husband of cheating, demands that he let her smell his penis. Husband beats up wife. Florida.

Human-sized heart left at car wash.

Over one half of the entire population of the town of Wilmington, Ohio have lost their jobs. 7,500 out of the town's 13,000 residents were laid off from DHL and ABX Air.

Why the $100,000 a year job of lighthouse keeping isn't nearly as awesome as it sounds.

Heroic pit bull with a broken leg in a plaster cast chases burglars out of home while her owners were out.

Why you shouldn't download child porn onto your laptop and leave it in your police patrol car.

About America's cheapest family, an Arizona family of seven that lives happily on a budget of $44,000 a year, debt free.

The year 2008 summed up in 40 gorgeous pics.
 
 
Current Mood: accomplished
 
 
_53
15 December 2008 @ 10:59 pm

Dubai to build world's first outdoor refrigerated beach.
The world's first refrigerated beach is to be built at a luxury hotel in Dubai so the filthy rich holidaymakers don't burn their feet on the scalding hot sand. The revolutionary beach will sit next to the new Palazzo Versace hotel and will include a system of heat-absorbing pipes built under the sand and giant wind blowers, designed to keep tourists cool in the searing 40-50C heat. The hotel, which is due to open late next year or early 2010, will be controlled by thermostats linked up to computers and feature a cooled swimming pool. However, the plans have been criticised by campaigners who are infuriated by the potential impact on climate change... the city's continued expansion will also add to its huge carbon footprint. Each person living in Dubai has a carbon footprint of more than 44 tons of CO2 a year.



Dubai to outdo itself after its manmade World Islands, plan to add Universe-themed manmade islands to them.
Dubai’s largest developer, Nakheel, recently revealed plans for an entire archipelago of universe-themed islands at a $20 million dollar opening party for the Atlantis Resort. The cosmic string of strands will feature a sun, stars, and planets, and will be situated inshore of the already constructed World Islands.



U.S. citizen allegedly tortured in the United Arab Emirates.



An image gallery of life in Dubai.


Sources: Twitter Dubai feed and Twitter: Secret Dubai.

For those of you that don't know, I was born and raised in Dubai. I moved out of Dubai for good in 1997.
 
 
 
 
 
_53
15 December 2008 @ 07:31 pm

Iraqi journalist flings his shoes at Bush.
A man identified as an Iraqi journalist threw shoes at -- but missed -- President Bush during a news conference Sunday evening in Baghdad, where Bush was making a farewell visit. The shoe-thrower -- identified as Muntadhar al-Zaidi, an Iraqi journalist with Egypt-based al-Baghdadia television network -- could be heard yelling in Arabic: "This is a farewell ... you dog!" While pinned on the ground by security personnel, he screamed: "You killed the Iraqis!" Al-Zaidi was dragged away. Hurling shoes at someone, or sitting so that the bottom of a shoe faces another person, is considered an insult among Muslims.
I'm reminded of that famous footage of Iraqis assaulting that statue of Saddam with their sandals back when Iraq was first "liberated" from under his rule.


The Center for Media Democracy announce the winners of the 2008 Falsies Awards: In Memory of the First Casualty. The Falsies are our attempt to shine an unflattering light on those responsible for polluting the information environment over the past year. Learn about:
* PR industry tricks such as the ”third party technique” and how the Pentagon has been using it to dupe American citizens;
* Which PR firms are taking dirty coal money to try to dupe people into thinking ‘clean coal’ is anything more than a line of spin;
* Which PR firm took China’s money to try to make them look better during the Olympics - and failed miserably.

Via G'Day World.

A Christian leader has been forced to resign because of his liberal views on homosexuality and our responsibility to the environment.

An Italian came very close to being the first man to row solo across the Pacific Ocean, needing to be rescued from stormy waters just 120 kilometers short of the finish line.

A bomb at a bank in Oregon has killed a cop and injured a police chief and a bomb technician.

Pizza delivery guy successfully uses pizza as a defensive weapon against armed thugs who shot at him.

Scientists baffled at acorn shortage.

Banks face huge losses from $50 billion scam.
 
 
 
 
_53
13 December 2008 @ 10:22 am

Cracked: Seven bullshit rumors that caused real world catastrophies.




Apple MAY be working on a 3-D desktop according to its latest patents.




Also:
The Federal Reserve refused a request by Bloomberg News to disclose the recipients of more than $2 trillion of emergency loans from U.S. taxpayers and the assets the central bank is accepting as collateral.

Wired Exclusive: Pentagon pro-troop group misspent millions, report says. A Defense Department project, supposedly designed to support U.S. troops, was used instead to channel millions of dollars to personal friends and allies of its chief. The "America Supports You," or ASY, program was led in a "questionable and unregulated manner," according to a Department of Defense Inspector General report, obtained by Danger Room.
 
 
Current Mood: accomplished
 
 
 
_53
13 December 2008 @ 08:55 am

High school senior loses virginity on class trip, accidently texts her dad about it, class trip immediately over.
Pictured: pic of her iPhone, which is now making the rounds all over the interbutt.



Eleven year old finds out it's not a great idea to be shot in the eye and through the head with an arrow.
The arrow was only stopped by the back of his skull and missed his brain entirely.



The eight most horrifying body modifications of all time.
Not that horrifying if you frequent BME.



Zimbabwe hyperinflation in pictures.
Also, Zimbabwe has just released a Z$ 500 million note. $500 million Zimbabwe dollars is equal to $8 U.S., enough to buy eight loaves of bread. Clearly, Zimbabwe's problems are all solved.



The Ghosts of Antarctica: a picture gallery of abandoned stations and huts and shipwrecks in the most remote, sparsely populated land on the Earth's surface.




Six wheeled sportscar heading into production.




A woman described as "the perfect mother" apparently killed her five kids by slitting their throats while dad was away.

High school autopsy field trips cancelled after kids end up watching an autopsy of possible classmate. WAT

Dubai prince gifts island to F1 racing legend Michael Schumacher.

Who prays more: Republicans or Democrats? The more religious you are, the more likely you are to be at the far ends of the spectrum — on both sides.

How the world's most precious resource is a curse for Nigerians. Trash litters its cities. Electricity is sporadic at best. There is no clean water. Medical and educational services are limited. Basic infrastructure is severely lacking. These are not conditions that should plague one of the richest oil states in the world. Hundreds of billions of dollars has been made from the Niger Delta's oil reserves and many people have gotten very rich. Conversely, the average Nigerian has suffered as a result of the country's oil prosperity. The United States Agency for International Development says more than 70 percent of the country lives on less than a dollar a day -- the population is among the 20 poorest in the world...

Cops buttrape tattoo artist in subway.

Bush relaxes laws protecting endangered species. Also, the world's coral reefs are vanishing.

Ericsson and Intel developing remote kill switch with GPS locator for stolen laptops.

What makes a car 'American?'

Water vapor detected on extrasolar planet.

Girlfriend gets stabby after boyfriend refuses her some morning sex.

Man tries to outrun train, loses.

The Westboro Baptist Church would like you to celebrate this Christmas knowing that Santa Claus will take you to hell. "You'd better watch out, get ready to cry, You'd better go hide, I'm telling you why 'cuz Santa Claus will take you to hell. He is your favorite idol, you worship at his feet, but when you stand before your God He won't help you take the heat. So get this fact straight: you're feeling God's hate, Santa's to blame for the economy's fate, Santa Claus will take you to hell."

Cracked: Five government programs that backfired horrifically.

New Japanese trailer for Terminator: Salvation starring Christian Bale.

10,000 charred human remains found in mass grave in Argentina.

A man angry with a 5-year-old girl grabbed her kitten, threw it off a balcony and then stomped it to death, according to police. He apparently lost it when he realized his roommate’s daughter, the owner of the 4-month-old cat named Pucci, had scribbled her name and her mother’s name on the bathroom door.

Man fights back against teenage toilet paper vandals using night vision goggles and a squirt gun filled with fox urine. I wish my neighborhood was this interesting.

Eleven year old shoots his 8 year old brother in the chest while playing with his aunt's handgun at their grandmother's place.

Pedophile stabbed to death by angry drunk mob.

71 year old German farmer loses girlfriend after he fingered a chicken to orgasm on a game show on TV. The show also faces the wrath of PETA.

After driving around for hours, man decides to shoot wife rather than face telling her that they've been evicted from their home.

Actor slashes throat on stage with real knife instead of blunt prop; audience applauds until they realize it's all real as the actor staggered off stage, blood pouring. Cops are investigating if this was a clever attack on the actor or a simple accident.

Actual headline: Dog feces sends rapist to prison.
 
 
Current Mood: accomplished
 
 
 
_53
10 December 2008 @ 11:33 pm

TV channel to broadcast assisted suicide of terminally ill patient.




Legally speaking, one third of teen boys and one quarter of teen girls are technically pedophiles.




Girls working at KFC find out why it was a bad idea for stripping and having a bath in a restaurant sink used for cleaning dishes, taking pictures of the whole thing and posting them on Myspace.



Papua New Guinea has been hit by massive tidal waves.

About a bowling alley in Antarctica. By mananath, an employee at McMurdo Station, Antarctica.

A woman has been convicted of smuggling charges after getting on a plane with a sedated monkey hidden under her shirt.

Scientists have confirmed the long held suspicion that there is a massive black hole in the center of our galaxy.

Man holds up gas station, gets pulled over later, flees cops by running into police academy.

Teenagers attempt to steal occupied police car.

Woman's hair stolen at shopping mall. A Chinese woman who had not cut her hair for ten years called police to report that it had been stolen... In the past she had been offered the equivalent of £300 for her hair but had refused to sell it.

Man goes on rampage at car dealership, causes $5,000 in damage, urinates on cars, drinks champaigne once done, all for no reason anyone can figure out.

AIG just lost $10 billion. American International Group, once the world's largest insurer, owes around $10 billion to other financial services firms for trades that have gone sour, the Wall Street Journal reported in its online edition on Tuesday. The report, citing people familiar with the matter, says the trades have not been explicitly disclosed before, and are not covered by terms of a current $150 billion U.S. government rescue package.

Now that the banks and the car makers are getting bailouts, there's talk that the U.S. airline industry may also kind of ask for a bailout. The chief executive of American Airlines says any federal plan to boost the economy should include help for the aviation industry, including more spending on runways and a better air traffic control system, but not necessarily direct aid to the carriers themselves. "The airline industry should be certainly at the top of the list of industries that are deserving of economic stimulus as it relates to infrastructure because we have let the infrastructure in aviation deteriorate," Gerard Arpey said.

Ontario Liquor Control Board recalling Italian wine that turned out to be tapwater. "I guess someone was waiting for Jesus to turn it into wine," he joked. GROAN

The man whose wife, mother and daughter were all killed when a jet fighter crashed into his home, has said he doesn't blame the pilot and has asked people to pray for said pilot.

A third of passengers on a German cruise have gotten sick with diarrhea inducing nonovirus.


Epic logo fail.
Via Fark.

About a San Fransisco couple whose home was burglarized, motorbike was stolen and recovered totaled, and finally, their Honda Civic was crushed by a suicidal, drunk, AIDS infected naked man. Oh, and the insurance isn't covering it either.

Yemeni pirates attempt to hijack German cruise ship being escorted by German navy frigate, hilarity ensues.

Man forces his wife to strip and run around the yard so he can use her as target practice.

Environmentalists call cops on illegal logging in nature reserve, only to discover the culprits were local beavers.

Australian town under attack from caterpillars.

Pilots complain that the Airbus A-380 is so quiet they can't sleep. In case you didn't know, long flights usually have two flight crews, so one crew flies the plane while the other sleeps, and then they trade places.
 
 
 
 
 
_53
08 December 2008 @ 11:38 pm

FSM Nativity scene.




Detroit churches get busy praying for a bailout.




The home of Dean Kamen, the father of the Segway, is now completely "off the grid" - meaning power independant - after an overhaul of ultra efficient LED lighting and solar and wind generation.
The father of the Segway and 'Luke' cyborg arm has taken North Dumpling Island—his private Bond villain hideaway off the Connecticut coast—entirely off the grid with a complete (and badass) LED lighting overhaul. By letting his friends at Philips Color Kinetics take the reigns ol' North Dumpling is now fitted with energy sipping LED lighting inside and out. This resulted in in-house energy consumption dropping by 70%, and ensures his on-site replica of stonehenge gets the dramatic splash of nighttime green and purple it so clearly deserves (total energy reduction was to 50% when all of the new colored outside lighting is factored in). Still, it was enough to take the island entirely off the grid; Kamen produces all of his own juice with wind and solar power.



A gun designed for arthritic people has been officially classed as a medical device.




The graves of 500 Muslim war veterans have been vandalized in Northern France, spray painted with swastikas and anti-Islamic slogans.



Wednesday is The Day Without A Gay, the day you get to call in Gay to work, since being gay is a disease of course.

Anti-retroviral drugs used to treat HIV/Aids are being bought and smoked by teenagers in South Africa to get high.

Bettie Page has been hospitalized after suffering a heart attack.

A drunk driver was at over twice the legal limit and masturbating while driving his Audi Q7 at over 120 miles per hour (about 200 kmph) when he crashed into a Fiat, killing a father and son. Immediately after the crash he got out and threatened to kill a cashier at a gas station.

Climate change protest shuts down runway, delays flights.

Unusual and legal ways to make money.

Where the jobs are: The economy continues to recede, leaving massive job losses in its wake. But while layoffs are widespread, they are not across the board. Some industries are thriving -- and hiring.

Taliban hold a permanent presence in 72 percent of Afghanistan. Insert snarky war joke here.

The CBC and Radio Canada examined 41 randomly picked Tasers out of 7 randomly picked police stations to find that four of them threw way higher voltages than they were supposed to, upto 50% higher than normal and three didn't work at all. This may explain why as many as a third of people zapped with a Taser need medical attention afterwards.

Cargo ship outruns pirates off the coast of Tanzania.

Riots erupt across Greek cities after cops shot and killed a teenager.

Thousands protest Canadian Prime Minister Stephen Harper in Toronto.

Police chief asks the public to please not steal to buy gifts this Christmas.

Amsterdam cutting down on number of brothel windows and cannabis sales in an ongoing attempt to "clean up" its image. ;_;

Ten ways scientists predict the world will most likely end.

Pollution declares war on all male creatures, including male humans. "A host of common chemicals is feminizing males of every class of vertebrate animals, from fish to mammals, including people. Many have been identified as 'endocrine disruptors' or gender-benders because they interfere with hormones. Communities heavily polluted with gender-benders in Canada, Russia, and Italy have given birth to twice as many girls as boys, which may offer a clue to the mysterious shift in sex ratios worldwide. And a study at Rotterdam's Erasmus University showed that boys whose mothers had been exposed to PCBs grew up wanting to play with dolls and tea sets rather than with traditionally male toys. It also follows hard on the heels of new American research which shows that baby boys born to women exposed to widespread chemicals in pregnancy are born with smaller penises and feminized genitals. It is calculated that 250,000 babies who would have been boys have been born as girls instead in the US and Japan alone. And sperm counts are dropping precipitously. Studies in more than 20 countries have shown that they have dropped from 150 million per milliliter of sperm fluid to 60 million over 50 years."

British ISPs censor Wikipedia over a Scorpions album cover's child-porn-ish image, cause massive shitstorm.

Chinese farmer builds robot army.

Man attacks speed camera with pickax.

Woman arrested after asking state trooper if it's okay for her to smoke and then lighting up a marijuana joint.

Muggers beat up elderly woman, flee by hopping into a police car.

Conviction upheld for lawyer who bit cop and stripped naked after being pulled over.

Suspect in Dunkin' Donuts robberies barks like a dog at Judge.

After hearing that a female police officer had been buying gifts for homeless children, the SWAT team barricades her house in tense standoff.

Blood alcohol tester pulled over for drunk driving on her way to test suspect's blood alcohol content.

Mom bans 8 year old son from playing Nintendo Scrabble game because she doesn't want him to learn of the word "tits".

Cops call in chopper, police dogs to clear up a bar brawl of 600 people.

Man helps cops subdue two shoplifters, ends up fined 60 pounds for littering because he dropped his cigarette in the process.
 
 
 
 
 
 
_53
06 December 2008 @ 12:24 am

Presenting Mat and KMS, the first teddy bears to go into space.
It's not often that Britain can claim a win in the space race. But these teddy bears drifting nearly 20 miles above Earth have become the first soft toys to take part in extra-vehicular activity (to use correct NASA jargon) at such an altitude. The soft toys MAT and KMS were named after the first initials of the pupils who helped make their space suits. Along with their two intrepid colleagues, they were strapped to a beam attached to a foam-padded box containing instrumentation and cameras on Monday. After rising to an altitude of around 100,000ft, a webcam caught their 'space-walk' for posterity before the helium balloon burst. They then fell to Earth before a parachute opened automatically to provide a soft landing.



Some of the most disturbing creatures on Earth you've probably never heard of.
Pictured: The flying snake. "Chrysopelea is the scientific term for the Flying Snake. But don’t worry, that’s just a dramatic name – these snakes don’t actually fly. That would be ridiculous! They really just glide for great distances."



The ten most bizarre things you can plug into your computer's USB ports.




Solar car travels the world, finishes trip at UN climate change talks in Poland.




Frenchman creates real life Mario Kart.



Man refuses to give up karaoke machine at karaoke bar, gets stabbed to death.

Ten of the most useless real college degrees.

Man dies of heart attack in porno booth. Or as my friend Sid once put it: "I'm coming! I'm coming! Oh shit, I'm going!" *dies*

Nine year old boy writes book on how to talk to women.

Florida GOP Congresswoman hangs up on Obama twice.


O. J. Simpson has been sentenced to 15 years in prison.


Rick Warren, Christian author of The Purpose Driven Life, has kind of backed the assassination of foreign leaders.

Japan is obsessed with blood types.

Woman takes antibiotics, loses 75% of her skin.

Guitar legend Joe Satriani is suing Coldplay, claiming they stole one of his riffs in a song.

In an attempt to improve margins during tough times, American Airlines will now charge fees to non-passengers, The Onion reports. (The Onion is a humor / satire website, just to be clear.)
 
 
Current Mood: accomplished
 
 
_53
05 December 2008 @ 06:46 am

Armless woman earns pilot's license.
She uses her feet for everything.



Teenager crashes Audi S6 through McDonald's drive-thru window.
Quote: ""I hope I get it [his license] back soon,” he added. “I am a car mechanic and need my licence for test drives."



The four insane ways right wingers think Obama will kill the world.




Five cosmic events that could kill you before lunch.



Couple bite, beat one year old baby with hammer to get rid of demons, pawn possessions to pay for exorcism after the baby had died.

One of Saturn's moons may have water.

A Scientology church security guard shot and killed a man on the grounds of a Hollywood building owned by the Scientology church.

Cruise ship carrying 122 people has run aground after striking ice off the coast of Antarctica.

While the world focuses on piracy off the coast of Somalia, the Red Cross is trying to bring attention to the threat of massive famine in the area.

Man armed with candy cane wins fight against attacker armed with a knife.

82 year old takes Viagra, scares his wife, who then called the cops on him.

Teenager gets attacked by hippopotamus, surgeon amputates arm and shoulder via text messaging.

Police say they have found a woman's skeletonized remains inside a home that was occupied by 26 cats, three opossums, raccoon and the woman's adult son.

Fifteen cops busted for moonlighting as bodyguards for drug dealers and overseeing security at high profile drug deals.

Cop pulls over car driving in breakdown lane with hazard lights on during rush hour traffic, finds man with pregnant wife in labor inside. Tells them to get out of the breakdown lane and fines them $100.

Printer has a paper jam. Owner opens it up to find a snake coiled up and relaxing inside.

Baby abandoned in church nativity scene.

When performing a breathalyzer test while under suspicion for a DUI manslaughter, don't giggle through it like this woman did.

IBM now offering Microsoft-free desktops.

Logitech make the world's one billionth computer mouse.

The American recession as explained by a Canadian.
 
 
Current Mood: accomplished