Tags: internet scrapings

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Internet Scrapings, etc.

Cracked.com: 6 Companies That Are Clearly Catering to Supervillains.

The Weirdest World Championships Ever.

America today: Heartbreaking Pictures From New Jersey's Homeless 'Tent City'.

Hooray for capitalism, God only helps those who help themselves, what recession? etc. etc.

How to grow your own bridge.

Mad science of the now: genetically engineered glow-in-the-dark cats are helping us find the cure for AIDS.

Arctic Sea Ice Sets New Record Low in 2011, Lowest Ever Recorded.

Sinking Pacific island Kiribati considers moving to a man-made alternative, contemplating relocating the entire population to man-made islands resembling giant oil rigs."

But remember, kids: Climate Change is a Liberal myth perpetrated by Al Gore.

Tropical Storm Lee blew in oily residues, thick tar mats, and tar balls onto the shore from Florida to Louisiana, confirming fears that the crude from BP's historic Gulf oil leak is far from gone.

How many days has it been since a prominent homophobe was caught in a gay scandal? Find out here!

Kepler Spacecraft discovers "invisible" planet.


St. Matthew Island: A must-read comic illustrating why we're all doomed.

"Why are you hostile towards religion? Why can't you just let people have their beliefs?" [nifty comic]

The War Against Christianity [another nifty comic].

Death industry reaps grim profit as Japan dies.

Pregnant teenager kills self and unborn child by sticking meth inside her vagina.
"They had got pulled over and she stuffed a quarter ounce insider her and when they got here they were going to take it back out, but there wasn't anything left but a bag."

The Last of the Aryans: "Nobody knows of their real origin or if they are indeed Aryans. But, regarded as long-lost members of a purebred ‘Master Race’ settled in the Himalayas, Brokpas attract curious visitors, some of who try to satisfy their fantasy of having pure Aryan babies"

Americans flee north to Canada for economic opportunity.
"Canadian officials say the number of Americans applying for temporary work visas doubled between 2008 and 2010... Americans make up the second-largest group of temporary workers in Canada, behind only Filipinos, most of whom work as nannies. Canada was one of the few to escape the 2008 financial meltdown relatively unscathed, a turn of events largely attributed to Ottawa’s long-standing refusal to deregulate the banking sector."

Mugshot of the now.

​Actual headline: "Gordon Ramsay Porn Dwarf Dead In Badger Lair"

Man shoots self while trying to shoot snake.
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Internet Scrapings is back, baby

This is NOT a painting, but an untouched photograph. Seriously. [Slideshow]

"Many artists paint models, but Alexa Meade takes it to a whole new level. She applies paint directly onto living models, then photographs them in a way that tricks you into wondering: Is it art? Or is it real?"

iOS 5, the latest operating system for Apple's iPhones, includes early earthquake notification feature for Japanese users.

Astrophysicist at Fermi Lab figures out the fastest way to get passengers boarded and seated on an airliner, confirmed by tests.

Man beats ankle monitor by removing fake leg.

City Sues HIV/AIDS Nonprofit Which Allegedly Used Grant to Build Strip Club.

Fuck the Police.

"KOB Eyewitness News 4 has obtained surveillance pictures of a State Police officer having sex with a woman on the hood of a car in broad daylight.... KOB has blurred out the woman's image, but you can see it's during daylight hours and the officer is still wearing his utility belt."

Cuban man aptly nicknamed "24" by his friends for his fully functioning polydactyly.

San Diego police say a boy throwing rocks at vehicles was struck in the abdomen by a crossbow bolt fired by a passenger in small sport utility vehicle.

Man goes for first airplane ride, flies over his own home, where he spots it being burglarized, calls 911. Thieves arrested.

Eight tiny things that stopped suicides.

Dead baby found under dead babysitter.

Two girls killed in crash on Purgatory Road while visiting grave of a vampire.

Woman walking dog killed by cows.

Man settles argument with his wife by setting fire to the trailer of his SUV, then looping steel cord around his neck, tying it around a tree, then hopping into his SUV and speeding off, decapitating himself in front of responding police.

Man accused of having sex with pool raft had also violated inflatable pumpkin.

Actor Steven Seagal Sued for Driving Tank into Arizona Home, Killing Puppy.

Life imitates art etc.: Belgian chemistry student goes all Breaking Bad, busted for running meth lab in student housing of Ivy League school.

In many German cities, Muslim arbiters, or "peace judges," are settling criminal cases before law enforcement can bring the cases to court. That is undermining Germany's rule of law, according to a new book.

Florida Pastor Doesn’t Get Why Atheists Aren’t Registered Like Sex Offenders.

RI Governor who instituted welfare drug test requirement is the co-founder of a company that provides drug tests.

Anonymous leaks a few gigabytes of emails from Texas police forces. Racism, homophobia, bigotry in abundance.

A U.S. diplomatic cable made public by WikiLeaks suggests that U.S. troops executed at least 10 Iraqi civilians, including a woman in her 70s and a 5-month-old infant, then called in an airstrike to destroy the evidence.

Arizona cop Tasers retarded man.

One of Taiwan's best regarded hospitals mistakenly transplanted HIV-infected organs into five patients after a hospital staffer misheard the donor's test results by telephone.

Mother receives damages from hospital after being sent stillborn son's remains in envelope.

Beaten and curb stomped for being gay, with splinters of bone in his brain, SLC man asks bystanders not to call an ambulance because he "didn't have any money for a doctor."

Wood you like a new iPad?
Headline by Reddit.

Three Charts To Email To Your Right-Wing Brother-In-Law.

Juror sentenced to community service for trying to 'friend' defendant on Facebook.

Artist paints an image of a bank building going up in flames. LAPD asked if he was a terrorist and was he going to follow through and do what he was painting.

Flight returns to gate because a black passenger was reading a book about airplanes.

To save €2.4bn a year, Spain's socialist government has passed a law forcing doctors and pharmacies to prescribe generic drugs rather than the more expensive brand names sold by pharmaceutical companies.

Marriage, according to the Bible.

Julia Tymosjenko suddenly falls victim to mysterious disease, just like the last head of the political opposition in Ukraine.

Two guys chat on Facebook about a riot. Riot never takes place. Guys get prison sentences and will serve more time than if they actually did take part in / incite a riot.

You are NOT "big boned", just big.

Infographic about boobies. NSFW.

Teacher fired for pumping breast milk at work.

Naked sword fight lands Florida lawyer in jail - After an argument about his drinking, he emerged from a shower, handed a sheathed sword to his girlfriend and said, “You’re going to need this...because I’m going to kill you”.

North Carolina mom with breast cancer loses custody of kids because "children who have a parent with cancer need more contact with the non-ill parent".

Professor Leaves Christian College After Suggesting That Science May Exist.

A Christian Plot for Domination? Michele Bachmann and Rick Perry aren't just devout -- both have deep ties to a fringe fundamentalist movement known as Dominionism, which says Christians should rule the world.

From the Department of Wikipedia madness:

Mars Bluff, South Carolina
"is an unincorporated community in Florence County, South Carolina, United States that bears the distinction of having been inadvertently bombed with a nuclear weapon by the United States Air Force."

Salish Sea human foot discoveries.

"Since August 2007, eleven detached human feet have been discovered on the coasts of the Salish Sea in British Columbia (Canada) and Washington (United States)."
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Internet Scrapings, Offbeat News and Other Bizarre Oddities

Cracked.com: 8 WTF Aircraft Designs That Actually Caught Air.

Lifeboat crew rescue horse swimming half a mile off Kent coast.

Headline of the day.

Malaysia's only openly gay pastor is urging homosexuals in the mainly Muslim country to "keep coming out" to help battlehomophobia, as he gets set to tie the knot with his American partner.

Mysterious notebook fuels Ohio drilling feud - A memo coaching buyers of oil & gas drilling leases to use deceptive tactics on unsuspecting landowners has provoked a state investigation & debate in rural Ohio, the latest frontier in America’s quest for new energy.

These Guys Will Stop You From Killing Your Boss: Inside the growing business of protecting the superrich from the pitchforks and torches.

Neo-Nazis tricked by T-shirt that changed message after it was washed.

"The t-shirts originally read “hardcore rebels” and sported a skull and nationalist flags. However, once the garment had been washed, the shirt revealed a new message that offered to help far-right extremists break away from the neo-Nazi scene. The message reads: “If your t-shirt can do it, you can do it too — we’ll help you get away from right-wing extremism.”"

‘Anonymous’ threatens to ‘kill’ Facebook.

Squatters on the skyline.

"The “Tower of David,” a 45-story uncompleted skyscraper located in downtown Caracas, Venezuela, is one of Latin America’s tallest skyscrapers. It is also home to more than 2,500 squatters."

Forget TopGear: our entire media is biased against renewables.

8 Years In Prison for a Harmless Prank? Handcuffed for Doodling? The Increasing Criminalization of Students.

World's first cybernetic athlete to compete against un-augmented peers in South Africa.

Inmate commits suicide despite being on suicide watch at the time.

Shark found dead in woods.

Turkish Imam's wife finds out he's been sleeping around, Bobbits him in a jealous rage.

Authorities in Iran arrested 17 boys and girls who took part in a water pistol fight at a seaside park. They could face charges of publicly committing “haram” – a forbidden act – after they splashed water on each other.

Journalists Kicked out of ALEC Conference, Threatened With Arrest: At the Koch-funded American Legislative Exchange Council, only corporate media are allowed, it seems.

Big Pharma Testing Drugs on India’s Poor: Pharmaceutical companies are exploiting the country’s vast number of illiterate and poor people who are willing to become guinea pigs.

How many days can you be held by cops without a charge?

A man doused himself with a bucket of liquid human waste and hid in a portable toilet after plowing his Jeep into a carport at a Longview riverfront condominium Tuesday afternoon, police said.

Italian mourner killed by lightning while scattering brother's ashes.

A man who police say had "a history of lying in the road" was killed when he was hit by a pickup.

An Indian farmer and father of two had a hysterectomy after doctors discovered a "full female reproductive system" in his lower abdomen.

U.N. report: Niger Delta oil spills will take 30 years, $1 billion to clean up.

A religious court official in Indonesia has blamed social networking site Facebook for a rise in teenage pregnancies and under-age marriages, a report said Thursday.

Man with breast cancer can't get medicaid coverage because he's a man.

In late July, a mystery investor or hedge fund made a nearly $1 Billion bet that the US would lose their AAA+ credit rating, that investor now stands to make a return of 1000%.

Mystery company that gave Mitt Romney a $1 million donation dissolves only months after it was formed, leaving few clues.

NYPD officers owe $1 million for unpaid parking tickets.

Two guys in a boat think they find cocaine: one brother snorts it; goes insane and dies.

Elderly Woman Dies From Heat After A/C Stolen.

Obama Turns 50 Despite Republican Opposition.

Massachusetts study finds that one in four gay high schoolers is homeless.

Scientist not satisfied with the amount of assholes in the world, creates more.

Police to man: Stop wearing that bunny suit.

A gift from Congress.

Man allegedly urinates on 11-year-old girl during flight.

Some website called "MySpace" went down, internet doesn't notice.

Cow leaps three foot fence and squashes car.

Teens Stretch Plastic Wrap Across Highway.

Inside Angola: Faith-Based Slavery in a Louisiana Prison.
"The country's largest maximum security prison features a private golf course, an evangelical Christian warden, and has been compared to a slave plantation."

New Zealand man 'decapitated' by home-made hovercraft.

Police: Aurora officers heading to funeral were drunk in police car.

Man sacked from art gallery job for washing himself with his own urine for what he says are therapeutic reasons... although they had no problem with him doing it for 23 years.

The mystery of the ghost BMW dealership, with everything kept intact and perfectly preserved for almost a decade.

Florida woman lost three fingers early Sunday when she tried to wake up her boyfriend with fireworks. Surprisingly, alcohol was involved.

Just a video of a cat cuddling with an iguana.

The Internet is dying Dept.:

British PM suggests quelling riots by disconnecting social media.
"In a move that calls to mind the start of the most serious unrest in nations across the Middle East over the last year, David Cameron, Britain's prime minister, told Parliament Thursday that authorities may shut down social media websites like Facebook and Twitter, in hopes that it would return calm to their streets."

Also, actual headline: How much are Twitter and BlackBerry to blame for British riots?

UK teen arrested for sending BBM text, social media crackdown gains steam.

BART, a rail transit provider in the United States, disabled mobile phone services to prevent a planned protest on Thursday, attracting criticism and unflattering comparisons to crackdowns on dissent in the Middle East.

Porn, Privacy, and BitTorrent: the case of a legally blind man accused of illegally downloading adult flicks.

How the new ‘Protecting Children’ bill puts you at risk: “The bill is mislabeled,” said Rep. John Conyers, “.. is not protecting children from Internet pornography. It’s creating a database for everybody in this country for a lot of other purposes.”

Bahrain protests to Qatar over al-Jazeera film: Doha-based news channel under fire over documentary showing how Facebook was used to target pro-democracy activists.

Germany challenges Facebook on facial recognition, citing EU privacy laws.
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Internet Scrapings, late late late edition thanks to lack of internets

Cracked.com: 6 Insane Holidays You'll Wish You Celebrated.

Cracked.com: 6 Technologies Conspicuously Absent from Sci-Fi Movies.

Cracked.com: 7 Creepy Video Game Easter Eggs You'll Wish Were Never Found.

TheOatmeal: The State of the Internet.

Presenting the world's first functioning 3-D printed airplane.

He's well dressed, well spoken, apparently well educated, and not homeless or crazy, but mystery man has spent three weeks in a UT jail on a minor trespassing charge because he refuses to identify himself to authorities.

Artist Training Fungi to Slowly Devour Her.

"Artist Jae Rhim Lee wants people to rethink the way they approach death... Like most people who contemplate such issues, Lee inevitably arrived at the conclusion that she should train mushrooms to consume her body. And wear a specially-designed suit (pictured above) for that purpose."

Like-for-like photos of life in Mumbai and NYC.

Man hurls toilet at house when beer run takes too long.

what is this i dont even

For sale: town in South Dakota for $0.8M.

PayPal boycott chops $1 billion off eBay stock value in mere hours.

The toughest plane ever.

Don't know if want: Hustler offers Casey Anthony $500K to pose nude.

If you just gave birth five days ago, it might not be the best time to audition at a strip club... and leave the kid in the car

Headline by Fark.

Man gets stuck head-first in storm drain.

Couple Sells Their Kids For Online Gaming Money.

A teenager in the US has survived being speared through the neck with a large bamboo spike while he was pretending to be a ninja.

Apple now has more money than the United States Treasury.

How not to perform self-surgery: by stabbing yourself with a butter knife and sticking a lit cigarette into the wound to treat a hernia.

Chinese teenagers fool around with huge, sharp sword when somehow-- somehow-- it all goes horribly wrong and ends with one of them stabbed in the forehead.

"The mother was pushing her infant son in his stroller when, by surprise, Hubbard unbelted the child and grabbed him by the leg. Witnesses said Hubbard then swung the baby over her head and slammed him into a metal rail of a nearby truck... She later said she was trying to break the baby's arm off "so she could eat it."

Amy Winehouse may have died from a LACK of alcohol. No, seriously.
"Amy Winehouse's family reportedly believe the singer died due to her body not being able to handle withdrawal symptoms from alcohol... They believe she died from a seizure due to her tiny body not being able to handle the shock of a drastically reduced intake of liquor."

Nice to know that Amy Winehouse's record company not letting a minor setback like her death get in the way of releasing new music from her. Profit!

And now, a glow in the dark dog.

Serial ass slasher on the loose in Virginia.

Man shot in head while helping the homeless in Oakland.

The Wu-Tang clan seeks intern.

A South Carolina jury will decide if truck nuts are obscene or not.Former inmate to become future inmate for his consulting work while an inmate
Headline by Fark.

Taiwan city offers to turn dog poo into gold.

Lesbian Couple Took Break From Destroying Society’s Morals to Help Save Norway Masscare Victims.

But remember, kids: Global Warming is a Liberal conspiracy created by Al Gore.

Not news: your ride gets repossessed. News: you're the crown prince of Thailand. Fark: your ride is a Boeing 737 [Amusing]

A former vocational school teacher and the former school principal are facing misdemeanor charges and are accused of buying cold medicine to cook meth on school property... Turley told state police during an investigation that they used meth in the school's main office.

School shut after teacher, Principal caught smoking METH in the Principal's office.

Black Hole Holds Universe's Biggest Water Supply.

Some people try to incorporate the teachings of the Bible into their everyday lives, like this man, who attacked a military helicopter with an axe

Indian kid goes for polydactylty highscore at 34 fingers and toes.

Police secretly kept organs of 100 murder victims for decades and didn't tell the families.

California woman goes for crazy cat lady high score at 70 feral and abandoned cats.

Fun fact: 150 human-animal hybrids have been grown in UK labs.

Ousted EMI boss: pirates are our best customers, suing is bad for business.

Man released from morgue after condition upgraded to "not dead."

We all love to hate on cops, but sometimes...

The Global Economy: Speeding Toward a Fiery Crash.

When I hear a Christian say something like "praise God for answering my prayers, I now have a new car / promotion / [other stupid trivial shit]", I can't help but think about news articles like this one.

Jesus versus Batman.

Sorry about your mom's skydiving accident.

Idiot parents refuse to vaccinate child. Child gets exposed to measles while on vacation in Europe. Returns home to California, triggers measles outbreak.

F-22 pilots have anti-freeze in their blood and the USAF doesn’t know why.

Mexican cyclists, tired of their city's indifference, decide to build their own bike lane.

Bachmann Says Unexplained Blackouts From Which She Wakes Up Covered In Blood Won't Affect Ability To Lead.

21 Continental flights cancelled after too many pilots call in sick at the same time.

How to build a house out of two shipping containers [pics]

Is Ireland divorcing from the Catholic Church? "There are now calls to remove the Catholic Church from every element of Irish public life, and this is supported by a growing secularist movement."

14-year-old found guilty of beheading four people.

So about that Norwegian mass-murderer… will he go to Heaven when he dies?

Just as Jesus commanded in Matthew 18:8-9, man convinced he's a false prophet, so he slices off his own tongue and flushes it down the toilet so it would prevent him from sinning. Funny how well religious / spiritual ideas and mental illness mingle so easily.

Kid's Bracelet - $20

Cops get drunk at the bar with a bachelorette party and then runs over beach goers.

UK Bans Make-Up Advertisements for being Misleading.

Man takes up TWO handicapped spaces in his car (with no placard or plate), then assaults handicapped guy trying to film the car, breaking camera phone, flashed a badge too (NOT police). What did his attorney say? The other guy was out to frame him.

November 9, 2011.

The state of American education [infographic].

So I decided to join The KKK... [r/Atheism]

15 year old girl had a drivers license and social security number handed to her by the government saying she was 20. Starred in a porn movie and now the guy who fucked her might be going to jail for statutory rape even though the government fucked up big time.

This is why there's a hivemind: Scientists at Rensselaer Polytechnic Institute have found that when just 10 percent of the population holds an unshakable belief, their belief will always be adopted by the majority of the society.

Bank ‘Activity’ Required For Wisconsin Voter ID.
"In the state of Wisconsin, you may be denied the ability to vote for lack of sufficient recent “bank activity”. A woman surreptitiously filmed the interactions as her 18-year-old son leaps through hurdle after hurdle in an attempt to get a constitutionally-guaranteed state ID so that he could vote. At the DMV, the pair is told that voter IDs were not issued when voters’ bank accounts did not show enough “activity.” The clerk had no answer when asked what would happen in the case of a resident who was homeless or unemployed, or too poor to maintain the minimum balance required for a checking account."

Heathrow To Install Facial Recognition Scanners.

Quote of the day.

The Internet Is Dying Dept:

House Panel Approves Bill Forcing ISPs To Log Users Under the guise of fighting child pornography.

ISP ordered by British High Court to block a website that provides links to pirated content, setting a dangerous precedent.

A group of Senators are meeting in secret today [er, yesterday], while most people are focused on the 'debt ceiling' issue, in order to try to rush through a renewal of the FISA Amendments Act, which expressly allowed warrantless wiretapping in the U.S.

Estonia is planning to bolster monitoring of the Internet to track potential extremist plots in the wake of last week's massacre in Norway.

Rights group Amnesty International said on Monday that its website has been blocked in Saudi Arabia after the group criticised a draft Saudi anti-terrorism law.

HOW TO: Remove yourself from ALL background check websites.

Pakistan Tries To Ban Encryption.

iPad Hacker Gears Up For Prison, Foresees Revolution.
word can help write your suicide note

Internet Scrapings, etc.

Cracked.com: 6 Famous People Whose Identities We Still Don't Know.

Sheikh has workers toil for weeks to have his name carved into the desert so it's visible from space.

Waterfalls flow upwards in extreme winds (southern Australia). Insert your own upside-down joke here.

Swiss man tries to 9/11 his estranged mom's house with a light aircraft after calling her and saying "are you home? I'm just about to drop by." Mom survives because she happened to be in the basement.

Meanwhile, in Copenhagen: Spermcycles.

"The 'sperm bike' is used to carry donor samples to fertility clinics around Copenhagen in an environmentally-friendly way, and it also serves as an attention-grabbing advertisement for the sperm bank."

Reformed Nazi Twin Singers: “Cannabis Saved My Life”

“I can’t bear other woman falling in love with you. Kill me, let’s go to hell,” said his ex-girlfriend, handing him the knife she had just used to slice off his penis.

You might want to find a new career if you're training to be a zookeeper and accidentally kill a giraffe on one of your first days.

Cops interrupt wedding in Ireland because it appears fake. And by fake they mean interracial.

Runs in the family: Mom and daughter get DUIs an hour apart.

A malnourished monkey caused panic among Chinese villagers who mistook him for a creature from outer space.

Horse rescued from basement after falling through window well.

Meanwhile, in Australia: Dog bites shark.

Two 14-year-olds moon their friends for a laugh, end up on the sex offenders registry.

North Korea and Iran are jointly working on weapons programmes designed to build a long-range missile capable of carrying a nuclear warhead.

"British scientists are calling for a new agency to oversee the mixing of human and animal DNA, which is progressing at a rate most may not be aware of..."

A handy well-illustrated guide on how Dexter does his job, or how Blood Spatter Analysis works.

Shanghai university teacher: if you cannot afford an iPad, you are not qualified to be my student.

Poll: Only 52% of Americans approve of Almighty God’s performance.

"Every centimeter increase in penis size accounted for a 5 to 7 percent reduction in economic growth... The study also showed that overall GDP was at its highest in countries with average-sized penises with GDP falling at the extremes of penis length."

Bond girl commits suicide by drinking acid.

"If I can't be a District Judge and use my penis pump at the same time, I'll just drive around and get wasted" [Followup]

Bill Gates to reinvent toilets. Probably still won't be as shitty as Windows Vista.

How to make cheating dice.

Warren Buffett visits a hot dog food truck, likes it so much, offers to buy it. The owner (unclear whether he recognized Buffett) tells him he doesn't have enough money.

Coal-Themed Sculpture Annoys Lawmakers.

Rush Limbaugh: The Killer 116° Heat Index is ‘Manufactured by the Government’

Intelligent Design, by the Founding Fathers.

One can, one condom: fighting AIDS in Africa using Coke bottles.

A convert to Muslim was pinned down and lashed 40 times for drinking alcohol, in accordance with Sharia law, in rural Pakistan. Oh wait, sorry, I mean: in Sydney, Australia.

Pot-smoking diabetic woman receives $125,000 settlement after police arrested her, confiscated her blood testing kit, refused to let her check her blood sugar or self-administer insulin. She ended up in hospital, her blood sugar three times higher than normal level.

Rabbi lures Israeli man under the pretense of collaborating on a book about the Talmud. The Rabbi then handcuffed, blindfolded and robbed the man, beat him up while wearing a cowboy hat, showed him a body bag and threatened to bury him alive if he didn't grant his wife a divorce.

Study shows voter turnout can be increased with simple word change.

Annual Deaths from Obesity vs. Anorexia.
Sources: http://www.surgeongeneral.gov/news/testimony/obesity07162003.htm http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/11513012

Cop claims his wife gave birth to seven-headed snake because she worships the Devil. She has since quit, but now vomits liters blood, live worms, fish, and spiders. Don't know what they're smoking down there in Swaziland but it sounds like some strong shit.

Ohio Homeland Security fired its Muslim liaison officer because he objected to its use of tax dollars to create programs "asserting that all Central Ohio Muslims and Arabs were terrorists or terrorism sympathizers" and included a picture of him as an example of a terrorist sympathizer.

Drunk driver hits woman and her three kids, his third hit-and-run. The mother convicted of vehicular homicide, gets 36 months, because they weren't crossing on a crosswalk. The driver gets 6 months.

India’s First ‘Slut Walk’ Takes Place in Bhopal; about 50 men and women came, despite nearly 5,000 registrations on its Facebook page. more than half were males.

Suppressed Report Found Busted Pirate Site Users Were Good Consumers: some pirate site users treat these services as a preview to buy more DVDs, visit the cinema more often and on average spend more than their ‘honest’ counterparts at the box office.

Teen kills parents, hides bodies during house party.

"A court has rejected a 60-year-old man’s attempt to invoke the ancient right to trial by combat, rather than pay a £25 fine for a minor motoring offence."

Seriously freaking unsafe sex: Couple has sex in mosque, get caught.

Son of Medicis CEO Jonah Shacknai dies, days after dad's girlfriend found hanging dead at mansion.

Bangladeshi police have said they were investigating the case of a man forced to parade naked through his village with a brick tied to his penis as punishment for kidnapping and marrying a minor.

Monkey bites off baby boy's testicle.

Dog saved from death row after singing Happy Birthday.

Deputies: Man burned while siphoning gas with leaf blower, narrowly misses Darwin Award.

A woman opened fire on a puppy that had threatened children, but wound up shooting and killing her husband.

Fun fact: In 2004, Fox News argued before Florida courts that a news organization has no legal obligation to tell the truth in their newscasts... and won.

Internal Fox news emails show concerted efforts to mislead about and undermine the Obama administration.

Wild Parrot parents teach their young a distinct series of sounds used to recognize a specific individual. In short, they give them names.

Not news: woman groped by TSA agent. News: woman gropes TSA agent back.

Straight Man Who ‘Appears to Be’ Gay Rejected by Blood Center.

During this morning’s Senate DOMA hearings, Sen. Al Franken (D-MN) destroyed Focus on the Family’s Tom Minnery’s argument that children are better off with opposite-sex parents by demonstrating how Minnery misrepresented an HHS study. The study — which Minnery cited to oppose marriage equality — actually found that children do best in two-parent households, regardless of the parents’ gender.

DHS Video Characterizes White Americans as Most Likely Terrorists.

City hires 600 goats.

Two men arrested for pretending to get arrested.
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Internet Scrapings mini-post

George Clooney's Satellites Capture Piles of Bodies, Mass Graves in Sudan.

Man is walking 1,000 miles to marry Proclaimers-loving girlfriend.

In case of Big Brother, drill here (X)

"Does the US Secret Police not approve of your art? Are you a media artist who has gotten on the bad side of a private multinational corporation? Perhaps your government does not approve of the open source co-working tool that you host? Or maybe, you are simply just a troublemaker? Any which way, when Big Brother comes a-knockin’ on your door wanting to steal your computer, you need a contingency plan."
word can help write your suicide note

Internet Scrapings etc.

The new "Let them eat cake!" 10 shocking, illuminating moments that prove just how out of touch the powerful really are.


Related: Weep for the rich, for they are truly suffering.

Legal loophole means accused child rapist gets to watch child porn while in jail, legally.

"Alleged child molester Weldon Marc Gilbert of Washington state, accused of raping young boys, will watch hundreds of child pornography videos this week while he sits in jail –- the same police footage found in his home -- because he's acting as his own defense attorney."

The Oatmeal: How commercial airplanes SHOULD be laid out.

"But the tables were turned dramatically when he found himself overcome by owner Olga Zajac, 28, who happened to be a black belt in karate. She allegedly floored the would-be robber with a single kick. Zajac dragged the semi-conscious Jasinski to a back room of the salon and tied him up with a hair dryer cable... She allegedly stripped him naked and, for the next three days, used him as a sex slave to teach him a lesson while force feeding him Viagra."

Man arrested for burglary, forgery and receiving stolen property, wins mugshot of the year award.

An Austrian atheist has won the right to be shown on his driving-licence photo wearing a pasta strainer as "religious headgear".

"A self-confessed atheist, Mr Alm says he belongs to the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, a light-hearted, US-based faith whose members call themselves pastafarians. The group's website states that "the only dogma allowed in the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster is the rejection of dogma".

British Columbia man faces six months in jail for growing his own food.

Also: Woman plants vegetables in her garden, now faces jail time over it.

An exotic-animal owner who made headlines last summer when one of his bears mauled a woman to death has died after apparently choking on a sex toy, authorities said.

Accused of being gay, Spanish priest challenges Church to measure his anus.

Man forced to sell beloved Camaro on eBay, offers amusing and lengthy comparison of car with soon-to-be ex-wife, complete with chart.

Pakistani woman chops off ex-husband's penis.

Woman chops off husband's penis, throws it in the trash, said he deserved it.

Castration cult blamed in 2001 killing, mutilation of man: "Moross likely was a victim of a bizarre sexual cult operating in a home in Rochester, where men were mutilated and tortured in the basement of the home in the 400 block of 6th Street."

The true cost of gasoline: $13 a gallon.

Harry Potter versus Twilight.

In Sweden, an Appreciation for Heavy Metal Music Is Considered a Disability.
"Roger Tullgren of Hässleholm, Sweden needs to listen to heavy metal music while he works. Mind you, that’s not wants to, but needs to. It’s such an essential part of his life that it’s been classified as a disability, entitling him to special dispensation by employers."

Bill Gates to reinvent the toilet, hopefully create something less shitty than Windows Vista.

College offers full scholarship for best tweet.

"Pelham also published successful dog books, though Douglas-Boyd's affection for dogs waned after an accident when mowing the lawn barefoot: he sliced off his big toe, and before he could retrieve it, his spaniel, Jess, darted in and swallowed it."

Prosecutors said Wednesday they will not file charges against a New Mexico football player who was arrested after wearing saggy pants on a plane at San Francisco airport.

Bob Lutz, former Vice Chairman of General Motors: To get the U.S. economy growing again, we need to fire the M.B.A.s and let engineers run the show.

In a Cable Released by WikiLeaks, State Department Officials Encourage Canada to Spin News Coverage of Tar Sands Pipeline.

Fox News: There Were No Terrorist Attacks On America During Dubya's Terms.

Newscorp paid negative $4.5 billion in taxes last year, while making $10 billion in profit.

Cyclist hit by car while en route to support bike lanes.

A beautiful sunset.

Mom arrested after refusing TSA search of daughter, also not allowed to record video of incident.

To all that hate the TSA, and security theater, check out this new startup.
"PlaneRed is an all-you-can-eat flight subscription launching around September 1st 2011 that will fly just below the TSA’s radar – using 9-person planes to dodge under their screening of any plane carrying over 10 passengers. The subscriptions will work as such – passengers will pay around $150 a month for access to a booking system much like a city bus, able to book on popular routes on the east coast, serving Atlantic City, New York, Philadelphia, Washington D.C.. They hope to expand quickly to Boston, and then open up new runs in Texas, California, and the Midwest. Eyerly sees it as a ‘win-win’ for customers – 14-passenger planes organized in a luxury set-up to make the journey just a little bit more pleasant."

Spaniards come up with novel ideal of forming human chains around homes that are threatened with foreclosure from debt-laden Spanish banks by flash-mobbing.

One-armed man arrested for clapping in Belarus. Clapping has become a form of protest, and a brutal crackdown has been unleashed amidst a collapsing economy.

Disinherited widow: Brain tumour turned my husband into a transvestite and made him change his will.

US Solution to Oil Crisis Simulation: Drill More.

Florida Statute Allows Man To Get Away With Bigamy.

Flying Cars ruled street legal in Florida. What could possibly go wrong?
Meanwhile, feeding the homeless is still illegal in Florida.

The “War On Drugs” Is A $2.5 Trillion Racket: How Big Banks, Private Military Companies And The Prison Industry Cash In.

[WtF] “In 1985, [...] the wealthiest 5%, had net worth of $8 trillion [...] Today, after serial bubble after serial bubble, the top 5% have net worth of $40 trillion; the top 5% have gained more wealth than the whole human race had created prior to 1980” - David Stockman ‘10

Man gets into accident, begs ambulance crew not to take him to hospital because he doesn't have insurance. Checks himself out against doctor's orders, now owes $40,000 for care he didn't want. Capitalism is awesome, yo

Jealous ex-boyfriend breaks in, shaves woman’s head "so she won't be attractive to other men," while high on methamphetamine, methadone, Xanax and Abilify at the same time.
Sounds like someone needs to review their taste in men.

"I said no such thing! And then I died."

Girl with no legs, no arms says she received unfair marks in the "jumps/kicks category" during her cheerleading tryout, claims discrimination.

Dad gets involved in road rage incident, gets shot in the head, survives to get sued by his own daughter for getting shot in the head.

Dolphins kept vigil on Irishman's body.
"A GRIEVING mother said yesterday that she drew comfort at her son’s funeral yesterday after learning that a pod of dolphins had kept a vigil on his body after his fatal accident in Australia... “We’ve learnt that a few hours after the accident when divers went to retrieve his body, they saw a big pod of dolphins swimming around him, and there was one dolphin that was using its nose to try to lift the body up to the surface, but it wasn’t able to do so because the body was caught up in the scaffolding.”

Man whose father was struck by lightning and killed walks away from family barbecue saying "don't worry, guys, lightning never strikes twice lol" just before being struck by lightning and killed.

Fun fact: people this insane are allowed to drive and vote.

In 2004 Fox News argued before Florida courts that a news organization has no legal obligation to tell the truth in their newscasts... and WON.

From the Nominees for Parents of the Year 2011 dept.:

Parents of the year nominees share a pic of their precious snowflake.

Mother leaves one-year-old and four-year-old in car on hot day. Good Samaritan comes along to try to rescue them, gets beaten up by mom. Bonus: Mom blames good Samaritan for loss of job and kids (in that order).

"My little angle."

Man arrested for having four kids in a van. Well, the ten kilos of coke played a part, too.

From the Bad Cop No Donut Dept.:

Motorbikers who ride to support each other's drug and alcohol addictions, go on ride to attend funeral of fellow biker, get hit by cop who was driving drunk, two bikers killed.

Police officer throws young woman face-first into street outside Orlando library, breaking her teeth - she calls 911 to report assault/request ambulance - they send more police to arrest her instead. (video)

An Adams County Sheriff's deputy punched a restrained teenager in the mouth, breaking his jaw,Morrow is facing criminal charges of child abuse, second-degree assault, tampering with a witness and official oppression.

Police Capt. Dumas: "Nothing suspicious" about body found in burning car.

From the This Week(ish) in God dept.:

Creationists stepping up their game: Workers' cars at the Florida Museum of Natural History are being vandalized; it started small with Darwin Fish and pro-evolution bumper stickers being removed; then notes containing prayers were left on cars; now it has escalated into driving large nails into tires.

God bless our glorious 50cal.

Tased by a cop and return the favor by tasing her back? You can still get out of jail every weekend....to preach at your church.

Michele Bachmann’s church says the Pope is ‘the antichrist’.

Michelle Bachmann claimed ex-nun, lesbian tried to abduct her over gay rights.

God's Lobbyists: The Hidden Realm of Religious Influence.

Rabbi Avraham Rabinowich busted By estranged wife for hiring prostitutes... that too, on the Sabbath (with NSFW Video)

God instructs obedient follower to rape and murder a lesbian couple: "I was there and I was told by my God, the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob, to attack my enemies, and I did so."

Indian Yogi Levitation Trick Revealed.

From the Internet warfare dept.:

Anonymous hacks Monsanto computers; posts employee info.

The Day Comcast’s Data Cap Policy Killed My Internet for One Year'.

Seattle geek gets banned from Comcast for a year for using too much data, using cloud services such as Amazon's new music service. But he's not going quietly, arguing Comcast is abusing its monopoly in Seattle.Mark Zuckerberg shuts off access to his Google+ account over privacy concerns.

It's official: Pentagon Declares the Internet a Domain of War.
word can help write your suicide note

Internet Scrapings etc.

Cracked.com: 6 Lies About the Human Body You Learned in Kindergarten.

Cracked.com: Why 'Psychics' Need to Stop Pretending They Can Solve Crimes.

On a related note: The lies I told as a psychic - Mortifying Disclosures.

Diver Snaps First Photo of Fish Using Tools.

I, for one, welcome our new fish overlords.

Pictured: one billion pixel camera.

A 43-year-old woman died after suffering a massive allergic reaction brought on after she had sex with a dog in Limerick, Ireland. The woman, a mother of four children, suffered the reaction to the dog’s semen after willingly engaging in sex acts with an Alsatian.

White supremacist heckles, threatens black man at a bar, picks a fight. The black man so happened to be a boxing champion. Pictured: Result of the fight, which consisted of just one punch.

Naked woman found dead after getting into a fight with a church statue.

It's a crappy way to travel but it beats going through the TSA
Headline by Fark.

Indian elephants from a Hindu temple in Kerala are to be sent on month-long holiday package complete with massages and bath oils as they recover from their arduous labour.

Three words: Taiwanese funeral strippers.

Pakistani woman chops off ex-husband`s genitals.

25% of Car Accidents Linked to Gadget Use.

Why you're paying more to breathe: how drug companies turned a well-meaning environmental regulation into an opportunity to suck billions from consumers.

Prescription Drug Deaths Soar In Michigan - In Michigan, more residents now die from prescription drug abuse than from heroin and cocaine combined, a federal registry shows.

Drunk 15-year-old caught driving car with drunk mum in backseat.

Lunatic Michelle Bachmann signs pledge stating that black people were better off under slavery. Then says she didn't bother reading it before she signed it.
Quick: what's worse, the fact that she signed this pledge, or the fact that she wants to run for president with a habit of not reading legal documents she signs?

Clinic Michele Bachmann founded with her husband performs "ex-gay therapy," reports say. The clinic has received thousands in taxpayer funds.

The News of the World wasn't the only Rupert Murdoch-owned paper hacking the voicemails of families of crime victims and relatives of dead soldiers.

Rupert Murdoch's "News of the World" tried to pay a New York City police officer for private phone records of 9/11 victims.

Campaign to boycott Rupert Murdoch is gathering pace.

Sacked News of the World staff appear to have fired a parting shot at their former editor Rebekah Brooks, disguising mocking messages in the crossword of the tabloid’s final edition.

Jellyfish, With Numbers Increasing From Warming Waters and Pollution, Force Shutdown of Three Power Plants Worldwide.

Women And Children First: Technology And Moral Panic.
“If you electrify homes you will make women and children and vulnerable. Predators will be able to tell if they are home because the light will be on, and you will be able to see them. So electricity is going to make women vulnerable. Oh and children will be visible too and it will be predators, who seem to be lurking everywhere, who will attack. There was some wonderful stuff about [railway trains] too in the U.S., that women’s bodies were not designed to go at 50 miles an hour. Our uteruses would fly out of our bodies as they were accelerated to that speed... “The first push-back is going to be about kids. Is it making our children vulnerable? To predators? To other forms of danger? We will immediately then regulate access. I don’t want to seem cynical because there is a reason why we worry about children, but I do think you can tell that’s where it’s going to start.”

Cracked.com: 6 Pro-Gay Marriage Arguments for Fighting With Crazy People.

Actual headline: Banana at Large After Attacking Gorilla in Strongsville.

Facebook Helps Israel Blacklist Air Travellers.
"Pprotesters have been stopped in their tracks after Facebook aided Israel in cracking down on the group of activists from the UK, France, and Belgium who planned their event using the popular social networking site. Facebook allowed government agents to track the activists activities and then create a black-list of people who participated in the planning of the protests. The black-listed group was then forwarded to airlines with instructions to prevent the activists from boarding air flights to Israel. Over 200 activists were prevented from flying after being added to the airlines terrorism watch list, according the the AP report. Was Julian Assange correct, when he warned that Facebook was a giant, 'appalling spy machine'?"

Iraq vet loses two legs in the war, survives, comes home, is killed by rollercoaster.

Woman plants vegetables in her garden, now faces jail time over it.

New Delhi hospital invaded by monkeys who figured out how to use the motion-sensing automatic doors.

Two Tunisian prisoners attempting to escape by setting their mattresses on fire succeed. Kind of

Travelling salesman becomes real-life George Clooney by clocking up a record breaking 10million air miles.

If you're gonna let your toddler drink beer, at least have him do it *inside* your trailer

Man loses stomach in barfight.
"Gutierrez was stabbed in the abdomen and lost his stomach: "Mr. Gutierrez's stomach actually fell out of his body cavity. One of our crime scene officers found it, collected it and it was taken to Parkview Medical Center, but the doctors said there's no way they could attach it."

Superbug strain of Gonorrhea discovered, is resistant to all antibiotics.

"Neighbors checked on Mendoza's son after they noticed the father acting nervously and fleeing from his east Bakersfield apartment in his wheelchair. Inside, they found little Angelo naked and bleeding; the boy had numerous bites to his hands and his eyes were swollen shut. The boy told them, "My daddy ate my eyes out." The father was found in the backyard, where he chained himself to a tree and began hacking at his leg with a pickax while yelling incoherently."

Native American family beaten up by Neo-Nazis, one of whom brags that his dad is a cop. Cops take statements from the Neo-Nazis, not from the family; then arrest a family member for an unpaid ticket. Cops release attackers and hours later they brag about it on Facebook. The FBI is investigating.

Anonymous Releases 90,000 Military E-Mail Accounts on Pirate Bay. They obtained the emails while hacking government contracting and consulting firm Booz Allen Hamilton.

Bear-safety lecture in Yellowstone interrupted by bear.

Marine uses YouTube to invite Mila Kunis to be his date at Corps Ball. She says yes.

16-Pound Baby Boy Born in Texas.

Reagan: So inspiring.

How the Religious Right is at the root of the budget mess in Washington.

Russian zombie parade, in pics.

Suspected crash landing turns out to just be a pilot stopping off mid-flight at a strip club.

The Copyright Lobby Absolutely Loves Child Pornography.
One of my more insanely paranoid theories proven true.

Man kills 4-year-old on assumption that he is gay.
word can help write your suicide note

Internet Scrapings, Offbeat News and Other Bizarre Oddities

Cracked.com: 7 'Ancient' Forms of Mysticism That Are Recent Inventions.

The 7 Sleaziest Mating Rituals in the Animal Kingdom.

An American goes to work at an Indian call center.

Woman gets pregnant, then gets pregnant while already pregnant.

Yo dawg...

Why Do the Police Have Tanks? The Strange and Dangerous Militarization of the US Police Force.

News of the World to close after 168 years in wake of multiple despicable phone hacking scandals.

Listen to a Thunderstorm on Saturn.

Bjork Releases The First Ever "iPad Album". All of the songs on her album will have their own custom-designed app, that allow users to manipulate the songs on the device.

Female judge in Florida runs into another judge's chambers after taking cellphone pics of men at urinals, then bites cop after insisting no laws were broken.

Man believed he would be raptured on May 21 as Harold Camping said. Co-workers bring on the lulz from May 22 onwards. Man shoots co-workers. God works in mysterious ways etc.

A couple is recovering after discovering they were being eaten alive by tiny worms with teeth - or as they call it there in Australia, Thursday.

Anonymous protests Florida arresting people for feeding the homeless, so Orlando police take message from Anonymous as threat against mayor.

Man wrongfully jailed for five days for cashing Chase check at Chase bank, has car towed and sold off, all because he didn't "look" like he was about to buy a house.

Here's hoping he sues the absolute crap out of them.

12-year-old girl commits suicide so that she can donate her eyes to her father, and her kidneys to her sick brother, and also save her family the burden of dowry. If this wasn't tragic enough, the family discovered her suicide note AFTER they had cremated her.
Multiple layers of FUBAR: Let's not even get into the factors that donating eyes isn't that straightforward (the sizes don't always match between donors and recipients) and that the girl poisoned herself, which would render her kidneys useless for donation anyway :(

A group called "The Christian Left" is trying to bring Christians together on Facebook to do what they're supposed to do: support progressive causes and candidates and fight for human rights, including those of LGBT people. Their ad was pulled due to "negative user feedback."

Wife shocks husband with demand for divorce. So husband decides to shock wife with homemade electric chair.

When your neighbor gets hold of illegal fireworks labelled “If found please report to the U.S. government” and lights them up at close range, you can bet it won't end well.
"“He went over into the middle of the street, and within 10 seconds of us talking to him, he lit it and all we saw was a cloud of smoke, a bang... When I walked up to his body, it was nothing but his shoulders down.”

Suspected crash landing turns out to just be a pilot stopping off mid-flight at a strip club.

Senator Chuck Grassley questioned why the Department of Justice did not take action against "an admitted serial viewer of pornography" who served as an Assistant United States Attorney, even after the department’s Inspector General found at least one image of child porn on his work computer.

NYC pet store bans drunk people from buying puppies.

Sulfur pollution from 1998 to 2008 counteracted climate change, defying decades-long trend. This is sometimes cited as evidence to deny global warming.

Vivid Entertainment, an adult-entertainment company, dangled an offer to Casey Anthony to star in a porno and then withdrew it, citing the “overwhelmingly negative response” from the public.

Kim Kardashian, whose daddy helped OJ get off, weighs in on the Casey Anthony verdict on Twitter, and gets e-bitch slapped.

Man with HIV raped 6-month-old infant.

72-year-old woman named Adolph eaten by bears.

The U.S. capitalizes on prisons. Prisoners work for slave wages at 23 cents an hour producing at large military equipment and arms. The condition of work is dangerous, toxic and unprotected. The U.S. population of prisoners is larger than any in the world.

Founder of eHarmony recommends not getting married.
"If marriage didn't exist, would you invent it?" - Doug Stanhope.

Police serve warrant to photograph victim's penis.

Pfizer’s quit smoking drug raises heart risks by 72 percent: study.

Climate Denier Paul Gosar Blames Arizona Wildfires On ‘Extreme Environmental Groups’.

"Officer of the Year" charged with selling meth.

The first and only Swedish astronaut tries to commit suicide with homeopathic medicine, in order to prove that it dosen't work at all.

Apocalyptic Sign: Shia LaBeouf Befriends Marilyn Manson and Plans to Direct.

NY Times under attack from gas industry for its negative fracking coverage.

Too bad CEO pay only jumped 23% last year.

Florida Police Refuse to Take Action Against Mortgage Company That Illegally Ransacked and Burgled Man's Home.

In 2005, a psychologist and an economist taught a group of capuchin monkeys the concept of currency. In no too long, the first monkey prostitute was born.

California lawmakers pass bill to teach gay history.

Woman attacked by werewolf, apparently.

Michael Bay presents - The Lance Armstrong Story.

Women in the US military are more likely to be raped by a fellow soldier than killed by enemy fire: More than 19,000 women servicemembers were raped or sexually assaulted in 2010, whereas less than 1,000 men and women servicemembers died in combat in 2010 (infographic)

Weighing in on evolution...

Clean your room before selling anything on Ebay.

Study shows pigeons can recognize the faces of the humans who mistreated them.


Fun fact: All of the genealogy websites are run by Mormons and they are converting all your dead relatives.

Religion and scientific progress.

Vietnam Era Weapon, Agent Orange, Being Used to Clear the Amazon.

Fracking Fluids poison Monongahela National Forest, West Viginia.

Scientists drag light by slowing it to speed of sound.

The final nail in the supply side coffin: taxes are low, interest rates are low, corporations are sitting on $2 trillion in cash - but nothing "trickles down."

Meanwhile, in NYC: Woman takes a shower. On a subway train.

Woman Kicked Off Airplane, Deemed "Security Risk" for Taking Cell Phone Pic of Rude Employee.

$22 billion in gold, jewels found beneath Indian temple.

PC Magazine:Are Hacker Attacks Government Operation To Push Internet Censorship Laws?
From the cover of DUH Magazine.

"TSA warns of possible airline threat involving surgically implanted bombs."
My bullshit detector is screaming off the scale.

"Rise of the hacker journalist": Gizmodo tries to equate Wikileaks' exposure of the truth to The News of the World's hacking of a missing and dead 13-year-old girl's voicemail. Classy, no?

Company Fined €25,000 For Altering Wikipedia.

France preparing itself to pass a decree that would let ministers remove internet content that they think threatens "public order" without a court order.
word can help write your suicide note

Internet Scrapings, Offbeat News and Other Bizarre Oddities

Cracked.com: 5 Acts of Nature That Rearranged the Face of the Planet.

Cracked.com: The 6 Most Amazing Military Raids of All-Time.

Endangered monkey steals wildlife photographer's camera, takes loads of pics of himself in various poses, expressions.

Fox News' Twitter hacked, posts that Obama had been assassinated. No one really notices.

Journalists at Rupert Murdoch-owned tabloid News of the World hacked the voicemail of a high-profile missing teenage girl, giving false hope to her family that she was alive when she had in fact been murdered. This is the latest in an ongoing scandal of journalists hacking the phones of celebrities and other people in the news.


Daily Mail blames freak natural accident on striking teachers.

A two-year-old Chinese girl survived a fall from a 10th-floor window thanks to a passer-by who raced to catch the toddler, state media reported Sunday.

Ten (real) most dangerous doctors of all time.

Motorcyclist dies after hitting head on pavement during protest against helmet laws.

It's like rain, on your wedding day.

DIY internet spreading through Middle East and Africa: "Just $60 of everyday items such as wood, cans, plastic tubs, wires and car batteries can provide internet service for hundreds of people. It's like the "telephone" of your youth and the best MacGyver episode ever, all rolled up into one."

Fun fact: Four U.S. presidents were male cheerleaders in college.

JFK airport invaded by turtles.

Also: Man stung by scorpion in airline flight.

16-year-old kid survives his SECOND plane crash. First one killed his mom, brother, and sister. Second one killed his dad and step-mom. He has no family left.

NASA suing astronaut Edgar Mitchell, sixth human to walk on the moon, for selling off a camera used on the surface of the moon. He argues that astronauts of his era were permitted to keep mementos from their missions, and that had he not kept the camera, it would have been destroyed by NASA. He decided to sell the camera because of financial problems.

5 Civil War reenactors struck by lightning.

Mystery woman drives by a burning building; gets out of car; runs into building and rescues child and then disappears.

Three US psychiatrists at Harvard Medical School and Massachusetts General Hospital, responsible for trailblazing the use of antipsychotic drugs in children, are facing sanctions for their failure to declare their acceptance of millions of dollars from pharmaceutical companies between 2000 and 2007.

A couple who say they were driven out of their family farm by the "nightmare" hum of wind turbines have mounted a ground-breaking £2.5 million compensation bid in London's High Court.

Fox News photoshops man into claymation-esque freak to make him appear untrustworthy.

Australian TV bans a satirised furniture maker's advert, the satire showing the company's real logging policy. Link includes ad.

Tea Party Nation endorses anti-gay bullying: "This is not bullying. It is peer pressure and is healthy."

India offers prizes to those who volunteer to be sterilized.

Cops mistook mentally challenged teenager's speech impediment for disrespect, so they Tasered, pepper-sprayed and beat him and called for backup after he rode his bike home to ask his mother to help him communicate with cops.

American Dad points out the advantage to getting your kids fat on fast food.

North Korea claims soccer players were struck by lightning after loss to U.S. Not TheOnion.

Vietnam Vet has his $10 000 lotto winnings confiscated because he was on welfare.

U.S. Navy bought 59,000 microchips that turned out to be fakes from China. Wired reports the chips had been made with a "back-door" and could have been remotely shut down at any time.

Woman Arrested After Allegedly Spraying Deputies With Breast Milk.

Police serve warrant to photograph victim's penis.

Annual cost of air conditioning for US war soldiers greater than NASA budget.

Just a video of a seal, snoring.

A Miami Beach police officer who authorities say struck two people with his department ATV Sunday morning on the sands of South Beach was allegedly drinking on the job and joyriding with a woman at the time of the crash.

China really, really interested in owning Facebook.

It's class warfare when Obama wants to tax corporate jets. But it's not class warfare when Republicans want to cut Medicare, unemployment and union rights. Everybody got that?

California man creates fake army unit, cons Chinese immigrants into enlisting.

Woman dies in swimming pool, no one notices for two days.

So it's like Weekend at Bernie's, except with a dead baby in a stroller and a shopping spree for mommy.

Woman gets into argument with another woman on tram, picks up her own baby and uses it as a baseball bat and goes swinging.

German police vulture apparently really sucks at his job.

"No, no, no, officer, I didn't rape her. I thought she was dead, you see..."

Ceremonies to celebrate divorces increase in Japan in the wake of disaster. Also, apparently divorces are celebrated in Japan.

Man who kept 24 king cobra snakes as pets, and photographed himself kissing them, dies when... oh, go on, guess

Man drives truck into lake, escapes, survives. Then jumps back in lake to retrieve belongings, Darwins.

Hundreds of Columbian women withhold sex from their partners until road gets fixed.

World Testicle & Aphrodisiac Cooking Championships have revealed they will dedicate their dishes to Britain's Prince William and Duchess Catherine.

"The resident doctor incorrectly placed a needle with a local anesthetic "directly into Jose's eye instead of behind the eye as was proper. Then, failing to recognize her error, she proceeded to inject so much anesthetic, so quickly, that Jose's eye literally exploded."

"The driver told the deputy that he didn't realize there was a dead pedestrian, severed leg, and shattered windshield in his passenger seat." Why, yes, alcohol was a factor, why do you ask?

From the Goddamn it all to Hell Dept.:

Believing in fairy tales can engender false memories, says scientific study.

Father of year candidate burns his son's hand because the boy touched his Bible and he thought he might be possessed. Bonus: Dad still lives with his parents

Professor hands out test paper with a question referring to a boy named Mohammed. So two Muslims chop off his hand for insulting the prophet of the religion of peace (tm).

American evangelist with "healing powers" visits Australia, gets shitfaced drunk, crashes car. Judge declares him a "person of good character" under a lot of "ministerial pressure", lets him go free with no jail time or fine. Preacher adds that God has forgiven him.

Christians persecute Pagan bookshop using Christian pamphlets, literature, harassment. You know, because it's all about sharing the unconditional, accepting love of Jesus.

Man believed he would be raptured on May 21 as Harold Camping said. Co-workers bring on the lulz from May 22 onwards. Man shoots co-workers. God works in mysterious ways etc.

From The Internet is at War Dept.:

Australia's internet industry claimed that 80-90% of Australians would have their internet connections filtered for child pornography this year.

Hollywood Force ISP To Use Child Abuse Filter Against File-Sharing Site.

US, UK Targeting Piracy Websites Outside Their Borders.

How anything you've EVER said on the internet could be seen by employers as Feds approve firm that dishes dirt on applicants.

LEAKED: UK copyright lobby holds closed-door meetings with gov't to discuss national Web-censorship regime.

Stating the obvious: LulzSec, Anonymous Reason For PROTECT IP Act, Says RIAA.

Hacker allegedly breaches Florida voting database to prove how easy electronic voting can be tampered with.

Microsoft May Add Eavesdropping To Skype: patent application from 2009 describes 'recording agents' to legally intercept VoIP phone calls, is comprehensive enough to make you think twice about VoIP audio and video communications.

Google chairman warns of censorship after Arab Spring: The use of the web by Arab democracy movements could lead to some states cracking down harder on internet freedoms, Google's chairman says.

From The Earth Will Kill Us All Dept.:

Swarms of venomous jelly fish and poisonous algae are migrating into British waters due to changes in the ocean temperatures, a major new study has revealed.

In other news, unusually large jellyfish populations shut down nuclear power plant in UK.

Climate sceptic Willie Soon received $1m from oil companies, papers show.

The State of Illinois is spending taxpayer money to distribute misleading information about coal to schoolchildren and teachers.

Sahara may be seeing the end of hundreds of years of drought. Turning green in some areas.

Drought in East Africa the Result of Climate Change and Conflict.

One of the world's most prominent scientific figures to be sceptical about climate change has admitted to being paid more than $1m in the past decade by major US oil and coal companies.

Climate models are creating a false sense of security, or at least insufficient terror.

Climate scientists targeted by unrelenting harassment campaign.