Tags: english

word can help write your suicide note

Internet scrapings and offbeat news

Scientists ecstatic at capturing video and actual sample of a whale shark taking a dump.

Michael Jackson is being sued in court by a Bahraini prince for reneging on a deal to record an album and write his autobiography, after the prince floated him cash to help him through his financial troubles.

A man left paralyzed after a vicious attack by Neo Nazis is planning a trip to Switzerland to commit suicide; while a famous disabled journalist pleads with him to choose life instead.

Supermarket gives back to the community, poisons discarded food to get homeless bums out of its garbage.

Also from Sweden: Man wins right to be legally named Madeline.

Islamic theologian hired for outreach to Muslims declares Mohammed probably never existed. Awkward? Fatwah in 3... 2... 1...

Hundreds of Indonesians protest anti-porn law, declaring it a threat to religious freedom.

Barclays avoids shareholder revolt by axing executive bonuses and revamping their payment plan.

Italian Air Force holding public name contest to come up with a less boring generic name for its new fighter jet. First price is a free ride in it.

Speaking of fighter jets, a Mig 29 could be yours for the low, low price of US $544,734.67 from this Russian military equipment webstore.

The word "meh" enters dictionary.

A gallery of the most extreme conditions ever recorded on the face of the Earth.

A visual guide to the financial crisis for the rest of us.

Five gadgets that were killed by the cellphone.

How to spot a fake Rolex.

As usual, more offbeat news over at fivethreenews and 53news.blogspot.com :D
word can help write your suicide note

Internet scrapings, offbeat news and various oddities.

Norway knights a penguin.

You too can look like a terrifying anime character come to life with extra-large pupil contact lenses and give people like me nightmares.

15 images you won't believe aren't actually photoshopped.

Megachurch televangelist preacher Joel Osteen's wife is being sued for going nuts and physically attacking a flight attendant over a stain on her seat's armrest.

Gana, a gorilla in a German zoo, has been photographed grieving over the loss of her baby, showing a strength of emotion rarely witnessed in the animal world and bringing visitors to tears. In the wild, a gorilla mother may hold on to a dead baby for weeks.

Aston Martin unseats the Veyron as the world's most expensive car, with the handmade One-77 priced at $2.3 million. Only 77 will be made.

7 eccentric geniuses who were clearly just insane. Includes the awesome Nikola Tesla.

Delhi's cycle rickshaws get a mention in the blogs of Wired, complete with pic.

A teenaged finalist in the LG Text Messaging Championships and one of the fastest SMS texters in the world insists on typing in perfect English with full spellings, punctuation and no abbreviations.

Ten words you probably mispronounce and sound like an idiot doing so.

Singapore's floating football pitch. At a tiny 700 square kilometers, Singapore is the tiniest nation in Asia and one of the three smallest true city-states in the world.

Drunk man finds out why they have crocodiles in zoos behind fences, but not in petting zoos. Quote: The man was dragged into the water by one of the crocs after he leaned over a rail to stroke it. The others then tore him to pieces in the attack. He was not able to be identified.

Elderly woman neglected and left to die slowly by her son and daughter in law. How neglected? Quote: Barker and the commonwealth say the Donohues ignored Leiben's needs, allowing small bedsores to become open festering wounds and deep necrotic patches of dead tissue that were feasted on by maggots. Infection from those sores and the massive ulcerations that were the result of Leiben's being left to lie in her own waste finally killed the woman, Barker said.

18 year old woman arrested for stripped naked on a highway, running into a cow pasture and flinging mud and feces at police officers.
word can help write your suicide note

(no subject)

So my office is hiring in North East India, in Guwahati to be exact, tapping into an as-yet untappped talent pool over there.

As you probably know, the job is essentially editing, proofreading and a little research. The primary requirement is excellent English, because the rest of the stuff you can learn.

However there are people with lousy English who try out anyway, and then there's a realm of epic failure so hilarious it kind of wins. As part of the testing process, applicants were asked to write out a paragraph or two on any topic to demonstrate their grasp of English.

Hilarity ensued. Two particular samples sent to us by our friends running the new branch there had us in splits at the start of tonight's shift:

Exhibit one:

"Geography: geography is a important subject of all student. Geography means "geo" means earth and "graphy" means study. So it is called study of earth. There are seven country and five ocean in the earth. The seven country are---Asia, Eurup, North america, South America, Asteliya, Affica, and North Pole. Asia is the biggest country of the world. Our India is situated in Asia country."

LOLLERZ. On to Exhibit two:

"Sex: sex is fellings of mind. There is two type of sex in the world. i.e. one is male and one is female. Basically the male person are more interested on female. In another words we all are depends on opposite sex. Less no. of person can live without sex. Less no. person has sex. They are called Hijira. They are most unhappy person."

Note: It's actually Hijra, not Hijira, and the term referrs to traditional Indian eunuchs. Warning: link goes to Wikipedia article featuring a terrifying pic of a horribly unconvincing ex-man in a sari.

Anyway, I suggested that a real interview test for a potential editor would be to edit the above samples (especially the second one) into something coherent and perfectly readable by Wall Street analysts, who are basically the guys that end up reading our transcripts. Oh, and you'd have to do it in less than three times the length of time it took you to read it.

Good times, good times.