Tags: dilbert

word can help write your suicide note

why you should read Scott Adams' blog

If you are a registered voter in the United States, today you must choose between the Antichrist and the only guy that scares the piss out of the Antichrist. My strategy involves buying a wheelbarrow and waiting for the rapture. I understand there will be a lot of gold fillings and diamond earrings left for me and my homeys.

From http://dilbert.com/blog/entry/signs/ :D
word can help write your suicide note

(no subject)

Scott Adams, creator of Dilbert, has introduced a new character whose name is Jesus but pronounced Hay-soos, and has several interesting attributes.

With Easter around the corner, he shouldn't have been surprised when he reported in his blog that he recieved the following email:

Hello! Mr. Adams,
Mr. Adams I just want to tell you that I don’t really appreciate you making a mockery of my faith. I used to think that your comic strip was funny, now I think it is very disgusting and not funny at all. I have found your last comics strips in reference to my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ very offensive. There is a place for everything and there is a place for humor and humor has its limits, especially when it comes to those things and issues that some of us hold as sacred. I will pray for you and that some day you may come to know Jesus as your Lord and Savior. Otherwise you will find Him some day as your judge, and He will justly judge you for your sins and whether or not you believe in Hell that day you will believe and you will repent when you see Him face to face, but then it will be too late. Repent from your wicked ways and stop making fun of my Savior.

Thanks for your time.

Pastor (name deleted).
California


Scot Adams' response:

Thank you for taking time out from feeding the poor to complain about comic strips. I know Jesus would have played it the same way.

Scott


Brilliance.

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word can help write your suicide note

why you must read scott adams' dilbert blog

why you must read the dilbert blog. 

copy-pasted because i know no one will click on a "here, read this" link.



"Chinese Striptease Funeral


I read in the news that the Chinese police are cracking down on the practice of hiring strippers for funerals.

Seriously.

Strippers for funerals.

Villagers believe that the more people who attend the funeral, the more honored the dead person is. And naked women bring in the crowds. I can think of no better way to honor a dead grandmother than by hiring naked women to arouse her surviving husband while the in-laws watch.

Plus there’s a practical aspect to it. You want to make sure the guy in the casket is really dead and not just faking it. There’s probably an old Chinese saying that goes something like “If he gets a stiffy, he’s not a stiff.” And don’t get me started about raising the dead.

It’s hard to pick my favorite part of this story, but one of the contenders has to do with the name of the county where the police did the crack down: Donghai.

I suppose you could pronounce it Dong-hay. But it’s more deliciously ironic if it’s pronounced dong-high. If anyone knows it’s really pronounced Dong-hay, don’t ruin it for me.

I didn’t see in the news report why the Chinese police were suddenly cracking down on the strippers at funerals, but I have a theory. I think I speak for all men when I say that at the age of 14 I would have been willing to kill a cousin to look at a stripper. And remember that those small villages in China don’t have cable TV and high speed Internet. You pretty much have to choke someone to death just to generate any entertainment that doesn’t involve dragon costumes and tambourines.

The Chinese have given us gun powder, fireworks, chop sticks, and now this idea. I hope it starts catching on in the States. I don’t know what it would feel like to be sad and aroused at the same time, but I’m willing to give it a try.

Unfortunately, we ruin everything over here. We’ll probably start having mimes at funerals instead of strippers. But I have to admit it would be funny watching a mime do his impression of being trapped underground in a pine box."





read the dilbert blog here.  livejournal syndicated feed here.