Tags: creativity

word can help write your suicide note

Some quotes.

- "No volveré a venir a un pais que es mas surrealista que mis pinturas." - translated: "I will not return to a country that is more surrealistic than my paintings."

- I do not take drugs. I am drugs.

- Have no fear of perfection. You will never reach it.

- The difference between me and a madman is the madman thinks that he is sane. I know that I am mad. (as on the wall of the Dalí Universe Exhibition, London, 2006)

- What is a television apparatus to man, who has only to shut his eyes to see the most inaccessible regions of the seen and the never seen, who has only to imagine in order to pierce through walls and cause all the planetary Baghdads of his dreams to rise from the dust.

- The first man to compare the cheeks of a young woman to a rose was obviously a poet; the first to repeat it was possibly an idiot.

- Salvador Dali
word can help write your suicide note

Internet scrapings, offbeat news and other oddities.

Telescopic Text: I made Tea. Or, illustrating the importance of brevity in creative writing. Via Cynical C blog.

How many camels is your girlfriend worth? Find out with this handy calculator. According to this thing, Kim is worth 37 camels, 6 goats and 0 sheep :D

5 lies you were taught in history class.

Answering the question "If you aren't doing anything wrong, what do you have to hide?" concerning privacy versus security, or rather, liberty versus control.

Remember that priest proposing a beauty contest for nuns? Yeah, it's been cancelled.

Denver mint fails to levitate; 9/11 conspiracy theorist has screaming match with Michelle Malkin; Democratic National Congress otherwise unremarkable.

Mom attempts to hack up her two adopted Chinese girls to death with an ax, then attempts to stab self, fails. She was overwhelmed with financial pressures and incredible stress and sought help over fears that she would harm her girls.

How the Soviets drilled the deepest hole in the world.

How to pick out the perfect pet tarantula.

NJ puppy scares off three bears.

Father who ran off reunited with the son he left behind, after 22 years... both doing hard time in the same prison for sex offenses. Awww. Via Fark, of course.

Man spends $10,000 on bar mitzvah. For his dog.

Two brothers burn down their grandma's house trying to play a prank on their cousin, who wasn't even home at the time. Alcohol may have been involved.

The Catholic Church is under growing pressure to abandon the exhumation and reburial of the body of one its most famous cardinals in defiance of his wish to lie for eternity next to the man he loved. So much WTFery here if you really think about it. If the Catholic stance on homosexuality is that it is wrong, then how did this guy end up (and remain) a Cardinal in the first place? If he was buried next to his lover, it's hardly a secret. And what does exhuming his corpse and moving him prove by now? And by this measure, aren't there dozens or hundreds more worthy (?) prominent deceased figures in the Catholic Church's history that should be exhumed and "chastized" long before this guy?

Cows have the ability to remember and recognize human faces. Also, research using Google Earth images has proved that cows have a magnetic sense, like birds.

The Mona Lisa remixed by various prominent modern artists. Hilarity ensues.
word can help write your suicide note

(no subject)

whune rants about comics.

Comics are the tree falling in the forest with no one to hear it. Not enough know or people give a flying crap how great comics really are.

It's the ultimate starving artists' artform: misunderstood, mocked, marginalized, shit on. Even when they win the Pulitzer Prize or make multi-million dollar blockbuster movies. Oh well.
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Winner: Fantasy Fiction
"Toads of glory, slugs of joy," sang Groin the dwarf as he trotted jovially down the path before a great dragon ate him because the author knew that this story was a train wreck after he typed the first few words.
- Alex Hall, Greeley, CO

The winner (and runners up) of the award for worst writing of 2008, named the Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest, have been announced.

I'm giggling like a mental patient and making an ass of myself here at work reading these. Also, don't read this drinking Pepsi or you'll need a new monitor.
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(no subject)

From this post by accomplished comic book writer and lesser god in the making warren_ellis:

I can’t tell you how many new hopeful comics writers I meet who have never finished anything in their lives because their intended first project is a hundred-episode epic that creates a whole new universe or three. And I tell them all the same thing: you’re screwed. No-one will want it. Not until you’ve written something short, capable
of being produced on a budget, and finished. Your epic may be worldchanging, but no-one will ever know because no publisher will gamble that kind of money on an unknown. And that’s before you get to the vagaries of the attention economy.


word can help write your suicide note

(no subject)

This was emailed to me by my friend Luke, who usually never emails me forwarded nonsense. But this was hilarious:

Here's a prime example of the whole 'Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus' thing offered up by an English professor from the University of Colorado (supposedly) for an actual class assignment.

The professor told his class one day: 'Today we will experiment with a new form called the tandem story. The process is simple. Each person will pair off with the person sitting to his or her immediate right. As homework tonight, one of you will write the first paragraph of a short story. You will e-mail your partner that paragraph and send another copy to me. The partner will read the first paragraph and then add another paragraph to the story and send it back, also sending another copy to me. The first person will then add a third paragraph, and so on back-and-forth.

Remember to re-read what has been written each time in order to keep the story coherent. There is to be absolutely NO talking outside of the e-mails and anything you wish to say must be written in the e-mail. The story is over when both agree a conclusion has been reached.'

The following was turned in by two of his students, Rebecca and Gary.

THE STORY: (first paragraph by Rebecca)

At first, Jennifer couldn't decide which kind of tea she wanted. The chamomile, which used to be her favorite for lazy evenings at home, now reminded her too much of Carl, who once said, in happier times, that he liked chamomile. But she felt she must now, at all costs, keep her mind off Carl. His possessiveness was suffocating, and if she thought about him too much her asthma started acting up again. So chamomile was out of the question.

(second paragraph by Gary)

Meanwhile, Advance Sergeant Carl Harris, leader of the attack squadron now in orbit over Skylon 4, had more important things to think about than the neuroses of an air-headed asthmatic bimbo named Jennifer with whom he had spent one sweaty night over a year ago. 'A.S. Harris to Geostation 17,' he said into his transgalactic communicator. 'Polar orbit established. No sign of resistance so far...' But before he could sign off a bluish particle beam flashed out of nowhere and blasted a hole through his ship's cargo bay. The jolt from the direct hit sent him flying out of his seat and across the cockpit.


He bumped his head and died almost immediately, but not before he felt one last pang of regret for psychically brutalizing the one woman who had ever had feelings for him. Soon afterwards, Earth stopped its pointless hostilities towards the peaceful farmers of Skylon 4. 'Congress Passes Law Permanently Abolishing War and Space Travel', Jennifer read in her newspaper one morning. The news simultaneously excited her and bored her. She stared out the window, dreaming of her youth, when the days had passed unhurriedly and carefree, with no newspaper to read, no television to distract her from her sense of innocent wonder at all the beautiful things around her. 'Why must one lose one's innocence to become a woman?' she pondered wistfully.


Little did she know, but she had less than 10 seconds to live. Thousands of miles above the city, the Anudrian mothership launched the first of its lithium fusion missiles. The dim-witted wimpy peaceniks who pushed the Unilateral Aerospace Disarmament Treaty through the Congress had left Earth a defenseless target for the hostile alien empires who were determined to destroy the human race. Within two hours after the passage of the treaty the Anudrian ships were on course for Earth, carrying enough firepower to pulverize the entire planet. With no one to stop them, they swiftly initiated their diabolical plan. The lithium fusion missile entered the atmosphere unimpeded. The President, in his top-secret mobile submarine headquarters on the ocean floor off the coast of Guam, felt the inconceivably massive explosion, which vaporized poor, stupid Jennifer.


This is absurd. I refuse to continue this mockery of literature. My writing partner is a violent, chauvinistic semi-literate adolescent.


Yeah? Well, my writing partner is a self-centered tedious neurotic whose attempts at writing are the literary equivalent of V@lium. 'Oh, shall I have chamomile tea? Or shall I have some other sort of F****** TEA??? Oh no, what am I to do? I'm such an air-headed bimbo who reads too many Danielle Steele novels!'








In your dreams, Ho. Go drink some tea.


A+ - I really liked this one.
word can help write your suicide note

(no subject)

word can help write your suicide note

(no subject)

"This is old Russian lady from Ukraine. You can see her in the middle on the photo above. She had a life full of hardships but overcame all of them, then settled in a small village in Ukraine. Her grown-up son was beating her constantly demanding to sell all her things and furniture and give all the money to him. Eventually he got into a jail and the lady was left all by herself in this house. And once she tried to draw something on the wall when she had nothing to do. She liked so much this that she went on and on and finally all her retirement money she spent on the paint to turn all her house into an art gallery. Just take a look."

English Russia blog: Old Lady's House

On the delicious English Russia blog ("just because something cool happens daily on 1/6 of the Earth surface").
word can help write your suicide note

I shall look up so my tears don't fall: Sukiyaki and Japan Airlines Flight 123.

Ue o muite arukō is a song you probably have heard a lot of times as covers, usually named "Sukiyaki" in English-speaking countries. It's the one that usually begins as "It's all because of you / I'm feeling sad and blue."

The original song was performed by a Japanese singer named Kyu Sakamoto and was a hit in his native country in 1961 before also hitting number one in the United States in 1963.

It is in fact the only completely Japanese language song to top the American charts to date.

The song was first loosely translated into English by A Touch of Honey in 1981, and most recently by 4PM in 1995, and by a myriad of artists ranging from Bob Dylan to Snoop Dogg have covered or sampled it in between. There is even a Spanish version by Hispanic diva Selena. Several versions have topped the charts worldwide at various different times.

The translation is very loose: ..."A Taste of Honey's Janice Marie Johnson is quoted as saying that when she translated the original Japanese lyrics into English, she found out that the lyrics could be interpreted in three ways: as a man on his way to his execution, as someone trying to be optimistic despite life's trials, or as the story of an ended love affair. "Me being the hopeless romantic that I am," she explained, "I decided to write about a love gone bad." Thus, the English version featured lyrics like: "In reality/You and I will never be/'Cause you took your love away from me." (Wikipedia article)

However, the original song and title translate more accurately as:

"I shall look up / so my tears don't fall."

The verses of the song go on to describe him doing this through the seasons of the year.

On August 12, 1985, Kyu Sakamoto, the original singer of this haunting song, boarded Japan Airlines Flight 123. Twelve minutes into the flight, the vertical stabilizer (the tail) literally fell off the aircraft, a Boeing 747 jumbo jet with 519 passengers and 15 cabin crew.

While this is in itself a fatal wound, as a plane without a tail is nearly uncontrollable, the tail also ripped off all four hydraulic systems, meaning the pilots had no surface control systems (flaps, slats, all those flappy things on the wings) of any kind. The massive aircraft began porpoising, flipping up and down randomly, in what is called a Phugoid cycle, typical behavior for a paralyzed plane in the air.

For the next thirty two minutes of sheer unimaginable terror for everyone on board, the pilots bravely struggled to keep the crippled aircraft in the air using what little control they had, which came in the form of innovatively manipulating the engine thrust. But it was still clearly hopeless. With no tail, no hydraulics and control surfaces at all, the aircraft was simply doomed. It was just a matter of time.

The passengers began writing farewell notes to their loved ones. Kyu Sakamoto wrote a letter to his wife.

Some had no access to writing instruments and cut themselves to write their farewell notes in their own blood.

At six minutes past seven pm, the giant aircraft plunged through dark skies towards a remote, mountainous area near a quiet village named Ueno in Japan.

It slammed into a mountain, flipped over once, and came to rest upside down in flames.

The screams and moans of survivors amidst the wreckage slowly quietened one by one as the hours of the night bled by slowly and help did not come.

Hampered by the remote location and terrain, rescue teams arrived over twelve hours after the crash. They found only four survivors.

Japan Airlines Flight 123 still stands as the worst air disaster involving a single aircraft. 520 passengers perished.

The ensuing investigtion into the cause of the crash revealed a rushed maintenance job by the ground crew. Their failure to follow procedure to Boeing's instructions perfectly had caused the rear bulkhead to weaken and fail in flight, bursting open and tearing the tail off, which also severed all hydraulic lines in the process.

In the aftermath, Japan Air's passengers dropped by a third. Its president resigned, and one of the ground crew maintenance managers committed suicide as an "apology" to the victims and their grieving loved ones. Without admitting liability, JAL paid 780 million yen to the families of the victims of Flight 123.

Among the many grieving families were Catherine Bayly of England and her unborn child. Her husband was a banker named Akihisa Yukawa. One month after the crash, Catherine Bayly gave birth to Diana Yukawa.

At the age of 5, Diana mastered the violin, clearly a musical prodigy.

At a memorial service for Flight 123 victims, young Diana performed "Sukiyaki" on her violin in memory of her father whom she never got to know. She also played another piece, Elegy, that was composed by a man whose wife and child perished in the crash.

The performance made her a media sensation for her phenomenal talent and led to her eventual success while still a teenager.

Shortly before the Japanese release of her CD, she returned to the site of the crash with her violin for another performance of Sukiyaki, as a gift and message to her father.


YouTube of the original Sukiyaki song, Ue o muite arukō, by Kyu Sakamoto, 1963.

YouTube of the popular cover, Sukiyaki, by 4 PM, 1995.

"The anniversary happens to fall during the holiday of Obon, when the souls of the dead are said to return home. Crowds of mourners scale this mountain on this day every year to remember the disaster. They all fall silent as Diana Yukawa, 15, picks up her violin. She shuts her eyes and plays a tune by the singer Kyu Sakamoto, who also died in the crash. The song topped charts around the world in 1963 (in the U.S., it was called Sukiyaki) and is popular again in Japan thanks to the plaintive rendition Diana plays in sold-out concerts and on a best-selling debut CD, which is dedicated to her father and other victims of the crash. When she finishes, she walks calmly into a log cabin and bursts into tears." - Time article.