Tags: bullshit

word can help write your suicide note

What the fuck

Cyclist and bike shop owner training for triathlon hit by car. Car stops, driver gets out, yells at her, runs over her again. She's was in a coma for nearly a month and has only started speaking yesterday, and speaks briefly like a stoned three-year-old. The DA refuses to press charges against the driver and apparently, that's just that.

"Last month, a dear friend of mine named Jan Morgan was hit while riding her bicycle training for an Ironman. It was a straight road (no turns or hills) and the sun could not have been in the driver's eyes. The car hit them from behind at full speed. At first glance you might think this was an accident. BUT Robbie Norton, the woman who hit Jan, got out of the car, looked at Jan, yelled at her for cycling in the road, got back in her car and ran Jan over again. There were multiple witnesses who stopped Robbie Norton by dragging her out of the car.

Reddit, the problem is, we've just learned they do not intend on pressing charges. Reason? The District Attorney, Forrest Allgood, says there are no laws in Mississippi to protect cyclists from this."

Infuriating. Unbelievable.
word can help write your suicide note

Church of Pope's pedofile advisor hit with priest sex scandal.

Catholic Priest arrested after asking a Moroccan drug dealer for young boys to rape. Bonus: Priest's boss is the advisor to the Pope on what to do about pedofile priests.

"(GENOA) — The latest sex-abuse case to rock the Catholic Church is unfolding in the archdiocese of an influential Italian Cardinal who has been working with Pope Benedict XVI on reforms to respond to prior scandals of pedophile priests.

Father Riccardo Seppia, a 51-year-old parish priest in the village of Sastri Ponente, near Genoa, was arrested last Friday, May 13, on pedophilia and drug charges. Investigators say that in tapped mobile-phone conversations, Seppia asked a Moroccan drug dealer to arrange sexual encounters with young and vulnerable boys. "I do not want 16-year-old boys but younger. Fourteen-year-olds are O.K. Look for needy boys who have family issues," he allegedly said. Genoa Archbishop Angelo Bagnasco, who is the head of the Italian Bishops Conference, had been working with Benedict to establish a tough new worldwide policy, released this week, on how bishops should handle accusations of priestly sex abuse."

Update: Italian media is reporting that he's also HIV positive.

But remember, kids: It's all evil godless society's fault, according to the Catholic church.
word can help write your suicide note

A fun game to play on May 22

Via Reddit, of course.

Edit: I do not post this as an attack on Christianity as such; I know many of you reading my LiveJournal are Christians. I'm posting this out of anger at these assholes that have either not read their Bible / cherry-picked it, or are deliberately manipulating and screwing with naiive but essentially decent, God-fearing people who have already shitty enough lives facing recession and joblessness, that the end of the world comes to them as fantastic news. Don't forget that there are people who have quit their jobs, blown their life savings, put their pets to sleep, sold everything they have, in preparation for a rapture that most of us (including Christians) could bet their house won't happen. I'm predicting suicides as a result. Perhaps some atheists think this is funny, but I'm willing to bet most of them are appalled at this gross heartless manipulation, knowing that those responsible will escape all accountability though basically what's represented in the image above.

word can help write your suicide note

Why Marcus does not own a TV

So today, I watched an episode of "Keeping up with the Kardashians."

Not by choice, you see. I was having dinner at my fiance's place and her little sister was watching it. By choice, I mean.

After only the second minute in, I found myself trying not to weep for the state of mankind, that we, as a species, have devolved to where enough of us voluntarily watch this show.

After the third minute, I completely understood why so many people hate the Kardashians, and realized that my respect for the movie Idiocracy had deepened exponentially.

After the ninth minute, I had run out of ways to think up scenarios where they could all be slowly tortured to gruesome and inhumane deaths.

After the tenth minute, I realized I was enjoying the commercial break slightly more than I enjoy sex.

After the eleventh minute, I had run out of ways to think up ways to commit suicide, and thereby be finally free of any and all memories associated with this show.

After the thirteenth minute, my internal organs began to fail and breathing was difficult. My pulse became impossible to measure, my nose bled and I was experiencing vivid hallucinations of hell, complete with the weeping and gnashing of teeth. I realized there was indeed no God to save us all, and all hope was lost.

I passed out around the fourteenth minute. I still feel ill even now. Maybe I will be okay, one day.

word can help write your suicide note

How I marked Earth Hour

How did I mark Earth Hour? By watching episodes of Top Gear on my computer with my A/C on.

Why? Because I had to suffer through a six-hour powercut earlier that day. Also, my entire house is lit with a single CFL light bulb, the water that goes down my bathroom sink fills a bucket that is recycled by flushing my toilet, and I ride a bicycle whenever possible. Here's the really funny part: I save huge amounts of water, but I don't actually pay a water bill, so technically I'm not even saving any money by doing it.

So it was kind of anti-climatic. I also find it funny that my country makes such a big deal out of Earth Hour when almost every single one of us suffers powercuts regularly all year round, some of us daily, forcing us to sit around sweating by candelight while waiting helplessly for the power to come back on. What's so special about doing this voluntarily?

If Indians really gave a shit about the environment they'd stop littering, shitting and pissing on the streets, and stop worshipping cars and motorcycles and start walking / cycling more.

What a load of hypocritical bullshit.

End rant.
word can help write your suicide note

Woman refused entry into Harrods for mohawk

Hairdresser with charity mohican barred from Harrods.

A hairdresser who had a mohican hairstyle to raise money in honour of a friend's dead grandson has been banned from upmarket department store Harrods. Security guards at the store, owned by Mohamed Al Fayed, told Lisa Mansour she would not be allowed in because her haircut was 'offensive'. The 40-year-old had the distinctive style cut in memory of the eight-year old grandson of a neighbour, who died of a brain tumour.

So... is it outrageous because the mohawk was for a good cause? What if she chose a mohawk because she chose a mohawk and that was that? Would it then be more acceptable for her to be booted out of a store? Oh well.

</ shit-faced hungover crankiness >
word can help write your suicide note

Writer's Block: Prophecy or Fallacy?

Happy birthday, Nostradamus. Many people consider the prophecies of Nostradamus to be uncannily accurate, while others remain skeptical. Do you think it's possible to predict the future?


For example, I predict that tomorrow the sun will rise.

There, see how easy it is?

From The Rotten Library: How Nostradamus is the literary version of a Rorschach test.:

"...Suffice to say, it's wise to take the Prophecies of Nostradamus with a grain of salt... or maybe a whole shaker.

Especially if those prophecies seem to pertain to 9/11. One quatrain was circulated with great hysteria in the immediate aftermath of al Qaeda's attack on the United States on September 11, 2001, destroying the twin towers of the World Trade Center and damaging the Pentagon. It read:

In the City of God there will be a great thunder,
Two brothers torn apart by Chaos,
While the fortress endures, the great leader will succumb,
The third big war will begin when the big city is burning.

Theoretically, the "City of God" is New York City. Why is that? Fuck it, who cares. Maybe it's Washington, D.C., which is only slightly less godless than the Big Apple. Put that aside. The "two brothers" would then be the "twin towers," the fortress is the Pentagon, etc.

If you got this passage in an e-mail forward, you might have noticed that it was dated to 1654. This presents a problem since that date is nearly 100 years after Nostradamus died. Whoops! Turns out the "quatrain" was written by Neil Marshall, a college student, in a paper entitled "A Critical Analysis of Nostradamus."

The point of the fake quatrain was -- you guessed it -- to demonstrate how Nostradamus-style writing can be twisted around to mean just about anything.

Read the whole article: The Rotten Library: How Nostradamus is the literary version of a Rorschach test.

This is why idiots find images of The Virgin Mary in the shitstains of their underwear and whatnot. Because we want to see it and our brain is really well wired to find patterns in randomity, and because our subconscious is a powerful force ever at work in the background in all our minds. This is also why astrology is a multi billion dollar business, even though people who read their own horoscopes laugh and admit it's all in good fun.

tl;dr this is why skepticism is a very, very good thing.