Tags: 911

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Internet scrapings and offbeat news



LOL, Cockburg.




Happy birthday, Mike The Headless Chicken!




Socotra Island: The most bizarre, alien looking place on planet earth.
Geographically isolated from mainland Africa for the last 6 or 7 million years, like the Galapagos Islands, this island is teeming with 700 extremely rare species of flora and fauna, a full 1/3 of which are endemic, i.e. found nowhere else on Earth.



Tardigrades or water bears, uber tough tiny bugs that can survive temperatures above 300 degrees Fahrenheit and below minus 240 degrees Fahrenheit, survive open space.
Microbiologists from the Institute of Aerospace Medicine sent tardigrades into orbit last September and exposed them to the cosmic radiation and deep vacuum of space. They returned alive. Once in orbit, the tardigrade box popped open. Some were exposed to low-level cosmic radiation, and others to both cosmic and unfiltered solar radiation. All were exposed to the frigid vacuum of space. Just how the invertebrate astronauts protected themselves "remains a mystery," wrote the researchers.



BME: Discussing the idea that employers should reconsider their dress codes now that so many people are tattooed and pierced today that it's reached a "critical mass" type of effect.
As Ozzy Osbourne himself said, "if you really want to be different, DON'T get a tatto, because everyone and their mum's already got one."



Neatorama: Ten things about the Large Hadron Collider you wanted to know but were afraid to ask.
Including the fact that the inside is colder than outer space.

Also, a 16 year old girl in India committed suicide by swallowing weedkiller because she thought the LHC would destroy the earth. The obvious question is why she would choose to kill herself in such a painful manner rather than be painlessly obliterated in an instant, but whatever.



Eleven colorful optical illusions that will make you literally not believe your eyes.
With explanations of how they work. Amazing.



About the small but growing movement of tiny homes, defined as homes smaller than 1,000 square feet, often smaller than even 100 square feet.




Cracked: Seven real college scholarships that require absolutely no talent.
I agree with an art school friend of mine that argued that there should also be a scholarship for normal, healthy, straight, right-handed white males, since they've got a scholarship for every other possible demographic you can think of.



http://cdn-i.dmdentertainment.com/funpages/cms_content/16632/dinner_sky.gif>
Also from Cracked: Nine of the most terrifying, messed up restaurants in the world.
Including a highly exclusive one where you f*ck an animal and then eat it, apparently. Ten more unusual restaurants.



Beehive truck gets into accident in China, triggering a massive swarm of pissed off bees.
Six people were killed.


Obnoxious CVS clerk calls HIV+ patient a "fucking AIDS freak" while his boss looks on.

Tonya Harding Shot JFK dot com. Enough said.

Quebec man changes name to dodge relentless airport screening. The disturbing thing is that it worked for him, therefore it could theoretically work for any terrorist too, right?

Also: House burns down because Homeland Security shut off the sprinklers to fight terrorism. Apparently a lot of other houses may have no water in their sprinkler systems because of Homeland Security.

Also also: Man gets investigated by Homeland Security over bean plant.

On the 7th anniversary of 9/11, Cameron O'Reilly asks: "Assuming there really is a guy called Osama Bin Laden, has he won? Here’s some questions to ask yourself:
1. Is America’s reputation abroad stronger or weaker today than it was pre-9/11?
2. Is America’s economy stronger or weaker today than it was pre-9/11?
3. Is America’s internal political climate more or less divisive today than it was pre-9/11?
4. Does America have more or less enemies today than it did pre-9/11?
BONUS QUESTION:
5. What would most Americans say the reason for the 9/11 attacks was?
I’m guessing a poll would show most think “they hate our freedom” is the answer. FAIL. I suspect most Americans have learned nothing from the last six years.
...I submit to you that if bin Laden’s objective was to hurt America, he has already won."


Fourth grader suspended for two days for using a broken pencil sharpener. The boy -- a fourth-grader described as a well-behaved and good student -- cried during the meeting with his mom, the deputy and the school's assistant principal. He had no criminal intent in having the blade at school, the sheriff's report stated, but was suspended for at least two days and could face further disciplinary action.

Newspaper sales have fallen a record $3 billion in just six months.


Hummer dealership in Las Vegas to stop selling Hummers and sell smartcars and mopeds instead.


How to escape a hurricane by car.

Italian comedienne arrested for blasphemy, may get upto five years.

Hot rumors are circulating that HP is secretly working on switching completely to their own customized Linux OS to combat consumer dislike and bitching about Vista's bullshit, and then compete with Apple. Makes perfect sense. What good is the best hardware when your OS is a pile of dogshit?

Neighbors keep pissing on the all-glass roof of a trendy bar and nightclub in New York's SoHo.

Israeli jailed after forbidding a pregnant woman in labor past a checkpoint, leading to her giving birth right there, and her baby was stillborn.

MASA plans to put a nuclear reactor on the moon.

Also, Interplanetary internet tested in space.

And now, a cellphone charger for your bicycle, powered by your pedalling.

YouTube bans terrorist training videos.

An Australian politician lost his job after getting drunk and dancing in his underpants at a staff party.

Police closed down a Berlin sweet shop after discovering the owner was selling chocolates and lollipops laced with hallucinogenic mushrooms and marijuana.

Women are more prone to nightmares and have more intensely emotional dreams than men, according to a recent study.

Australian authorities are on the hunt for a teenager who kicked and punched a confused kangaroo to the ground while his friend videotaped and laughed. Bizarre, because I thought kangaroos could be surprisingly quite aggressive.

The RSPCA has asked clergymen to pray for pets.

Orthodox rabbis blacklist popular music. Yawn. Look up Hells Bells.

Japan leads the world in broadband.

Mom who microwaved her baby to death gets life in prison.

New Zealand's national airline needs bald people to tattoo advertisments onto in a new campaign.

Madonna dedicates her song "Like a Virgin" to Pope Benedict XVI. I'm surprised it wasn't Like A Prayer instead.

A group in a tiny overwhelmingly Christian town in Alabama is ready to pay $50,000 for Jews to move there. DOTHAN, Ala. — Larry Blumberg is looking for a few good Jews to move to his corner of the Bible Belt. Blumberg is chairman of an organization offering Jewish families as much as $50,000 to relocate to Dothan, an overwhelmingly Christian town of 58,000 that calls itself the Peanut Capital of the World. Get involved at Temple Emanu-El and stay at least five years, the group’s leaders say, and the money doesn’t have to be repaid. Via Friendly Atheist.

Saudi Arabia's top judiciary official has issued a religious decree saying it is permissible to kill the owners of satellite TV networks that broadcast immoral content.

Top fifteen most disgusting, repulsive food dishes in the world in clear, large pics, so be warned. Includes duck fetus, bee larvae, maggots, scorpions, dogs and ox penis. I personally know several people who have eaten dog and cat meat, and one American woman who had the duck fetus thing mentioned during a missionary trip to the Philippines.
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The Onion at its finest, again

The Onion: Cheney Waits Until Last Minute Again To Buy Sept. 11 Gifts



WASHINGTON—Busy dealing with important paperwork and other vice presidential duties in recent weeks, Dick Cheney was forced to put off until the last minute a cherished annual tradition: gift-shopping for his favorite holiday, 9/11.

"I looked at the calendar yesterday, and I couldn't believe my eyes—9/11 is almost here!" a rosy-cheeked Cheney said upon returning to the White House Sunday with two giant bags overflowing with gift-wrapped boxes and big red bows. "It's the most wonderful time of the year."

While Cheney is known by many to be cold and taciturn for the other 11 months of the year, those close to the vice president say there is something about the 9/11 season that puts a smile on his face and a spring in his step. Each Sept. 11 morning since 2001, Cheney has come to work donning a fireman costume and handed out small, thoughtful gifts to all White House staffers. In addition, at his home on 9/11 Eve, Cheney lays out large piles of presents for his children and grandchildren underneath the colorfully lit, six-foot-tall 9/11 towers that he sets up by the fireplace.

According to Cheney, Sept. 11 is a time to reflect and give thanks for all the benefits and blessings 9/11 has given him in the past.



...But amid all the decorating and gift-giving, Vice President Cheney is careful not to let all the 9/11 festivities distract him from the deeper significance the day holds.

"Sometimes, in all the hustle and bustle of the season, it's easy to forget the true meaning of Sept. 11," Cheney said. "Sept. 11 is not about fancy 9/11 parades, or big 9/11 office parties. In fact, it's not even just about two buildings crumbling to the ground and leaving thousands of innocent people dead."

"No," Cheney continued. "No, 9/11 is about the warm feeling you get when you help an elderly woman cross the street and then whisper to her that the terrorists can strike at any moment. 9/11 is about the satisfaction of telling people to do things and then them doing it—not because they want to, but because they are afraid to do otherwise. 9/11 is about removing Saddam Hussein from power. But most of all, 9/11 is about love."


http://www.theonion.com/content/news/cheney_waits_until_last_minute