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Internet Scrapings etc.

Cracked.com: 6 Lies About the Human Body You Learned in Kindergarten.

Cracked.com: Why 'Psychics' Need to Stop Pretending They Can Solve Crimes.

On a related note: The lies I told as a psychic - Mortifying Disclosures.

Diver Snaps First Photo of Fish Using Tools.

I, for one, welcome our new fish overlords.

Pictured: one billion pixel camera.

A 43-year-old woman died after suffering a massive allergic reaction brought on after she had sex with a dog in Limerick, Ireland. The woman, a mother of four children, suffered the reaction to the dog’s semen after willingly engaging in sex acts with an Alsatian.

White supremacist heckles, threatens black man at a bar, picks a fight. The black man so happened to be a boxing champion. Pictured: Result of the fight, which consisted of just one punch.

Naked woman found dead after getting into a fight with a church statue.

It's a crappy way to travel but it beats going through the TSA
Headline by Fark.

Indian elephants from a Hindu temple in Kerala are to be sent on month-long holiday package complete with massages and bath oils as they recover from their arduous labour.

Three words: Taiwanese funeral strippers.

Pakistani woman chops off ex-husband`s genitals.

25% of Car Accidents Linked to Gadget Use.

Why you're paying more to breathe: how drug companies turned a well-meaning environmental regulation into an opportunity to suck billions from consumers.

Prescription Drug Deaths Soar In Michigan - In Michigan, more residents now die from prescription drug abuse than from heroin and cocaine combined, a federal registry shows.

Drunk 15-year-old caught driving car with drunk mum in backseat.

Lunatic Michelle Bachmann signs pledge stating that black people were better off under slavery. Then says she didn't bother reading it before she signed it.
Quick: what's worse, the fact that she signed this pledge, or the fact that she wants to run for president with a habit of not reading legal documents she signs?

Clinic Michele Bachmann founded with her husband performs "ex-gay therapy," reports say. The clinic has received thousands in taxpayer funds.

The News of the World wasn't the only Rupert Murdoch-owned paper hacking the voicemails of families of crime victims and relatives of dead soldiers.

Rupert Murdoch's "News of the World" tried to pay a New York City police officer for private phone records of 9/11 victims.

Campaign to boycott Rupert Murdoch is gathering pace.

Sacked News of the World staff appear to have fired a parting shot at their former editor Rebekah Brooks, disguising mocking messages in the crossword of the tabloid’s final edition.

Jellyfish, With Numbers Increasing From Warming Waters and Pollution, Force Shutdown of Three Power Plants Worldwide.

Women And Children First: Technology And Moral Panic.
“If you electrify homes you will make women and children and vulnerable. Predators will be able to tell if they are home because the light will be on, and you will be able to see them. So electricity is going to make women vulnerable. Oh and children will be visible too and it will be predators, who seem to be lurking everywhere, who will attack. There was some wonderful stuff about [railway trains] too in the U.S., that women’s bodies were not designed to go at 50 miles an hour. Our uteruses would fly out of our bodies as they were accelerated to that speed... “The first push-back is going to be about kids. Is it making our children vulnerable? To predators? To other forms of danger? We will immediately then regulate access. I don’t want to seem cynical because there is a reason why we worry about children, but I do think you can tell that’s where it’s going to start.”

Cracked.com: 6 Pro-Gay Marriage Arguments for Fighting With Crazy People.

Actual headline: Banana at Large After Attacking Gorilla in Strongsville.

Facebook Helps Israel Blacklist Air Travellers.
"Pprotesters have been stopped in their tracks after Facebook aided Israel in cracking down on the group of activists from the UK, France, and Belgium who planned their event using the popular social networking site. Facebook allowed government agents to track the activists activities and then create a black-list of people who participated in the planning of the protests. The black-listed group was then forwarded to airlines with instructions to prevent the activists from boarding air flights to Israel. Over 200 activists were prevented from flying after being added to the airlines terrorism watch list, according the the AP report. Was Julian Assange correct, when he warned that Facebook was a giant, 'appalling spy machine'?"

Iraq vet loses two legs in the war, survives, comes home, is killed by rollercoaster.

Woman plants vegetables in her garden, now faces jail time over it.

New Delhi hospital invaded by monkeys who figured out how to use the motion-sensing automatic doors.

Two Tunisian prisoners attempting to escape by setting their mattresses on fire succeed. Kind of

Travelling salesman becomes real-life George Clooney by clocking up a record breaking 10million air miles.

If you're gonna let your toddler drink beer, at least have him do it *inside* your trailer

Man loses stomach in barfight.
"Gutierrez was stabbed in the abdomen and lost his stomach: "Mr. Gutierrez's stomach actually fell out of his body cavity. One of our crime scene officers found it, collected it and it was taken to Parkview Medical Center, but the doctors said there's no way they could attach it."

Superbug strain of Gonorrhea discovered, is resistant to all antibiotics.

"Neighbors checked on Mendoza's son after they noticed the father acting nervously and fleeing from his east Bakersfield apartment in his wheelchair. Inside, they found little Angelo naked and bleeding; the boy had numerous bites to his hands and his eyes were swollen shut. The boy told them, "My daddy ate my eyes out." The father was found in the backyard, where he chained himself to a tree and began hacking at his leg with a pickax while yelling incoherently."

Native American family beaten up by Neo-Nazis, one of whom brags that his dad is a cop. Cops take statements from the Neo-Nazis, not from the family; then arrest a family member for an unpaid ticket. Cops release attackers and hours later they brag about it on Facebook. The FBI is investigating.

Anonymous Releases 90,000 Military E-Mail Accounts on Pirate Bay. They obtained the emails while hacking government contracting and consulting firm Booz Allen Hamilton.

Bear-safety lecture in Yellowstone interrupted by bear.

Marine uses YouTube to invite Mila Kunis to be his date at Corps Ball. She says yes.

16-Pound Baby Boy Born in Texas.

Reagan: So inspiring.

How the Religious Right is at the root of the budget mess in Washington.

Russian zombie parade, in pics.

Suspected crash landing turns out to just be a pilot stopping off mid-flight at a strip club.

The Copyright Lobby Absolutely Loves Child Pornography.
One of my more insanely paranoid theories proven true.

Man kills 4-year-old on assumption that he is gay.
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Internet Scrapings, Offbeat News and Other Bizarre Oddities

Cracked.com: 7 'Ancient' Forms of Mysticism That Are Recent Inventions.

The 7 Sleaziest Mating Rituals in the Animal Kingdom.

An American goes to work at an Indian call center.

Woman gets pregnant, then gets pregnant while already pregnant.

Yo dawg...

Why Do the Police Have Tanks? The Strange and Dangerous Militarization of the US Police Force.

News of the World to close after 168 years in wake of multiple despicable phone hacking scandals.

Listen to a Thunderstorm on Saturn.

Bjork Releases The First Ever "iPad Album". All of the songs on her album will have their own custom-designed app, that allow users to manipulate the songs on the device.

Female judge in Florida runs into another judge's chambers after taking cellphone pics of men at urinals, then bites cop after insisting no laws were broken.

Man believed he would be raptured on May 21 as Harold Camping said. Co-workers bring on the lulz from May 22 onwards. Man shoots co-workers. God works in mysterious ways etc.

A couple is recovering after discovering they were being eaten alive by tiny worms with teeth - or as they call it there in Australia, Thursday.

Anonymous protests Florida arresting people for feeding the homeless, so Orlando police take message from Anonymous as threat against mayor.

Man wrongfully jailed for five days for cashing Chase check at Chase bank, has car towed and sold off, all because he didn't "look" like he was about to buy a house.

Here's hoping he sues the absolute crap out of them.

12-year-old girl commits suicide so that she can donate her eyes to her father, and her kidneys to her sick brother, and also save her family the burden of dowry. If this wasn't tragic enough, the family discovered her suicide note AFTER they had cremated her.
Multiple layers of FUBAR: Let's not even get into the factors that donating eyes isn't that straightforward (the sizes don't always match between donors and recipients) and that the girl poisoned herself, which would render her kidneys useless for donation anyway :(

A group called "The Christian Left" is trying to bring Christians together on Facebook to do what they're supposed to do: support progressive causes and candidates and fight for human rights, including those of LGBT people. Their ad was pulled due to "negative user feedback."

Wife shocks husband with demand for divorce. So husband decides to shock wife with homemade electric chair.

When your neighbor gets hold of illegal fireworks labelled “If found please report to the U.S. government” and lights them up at close range, you can bet it won't end well.
"“He went over into the middle of the street, and within 10 seconds of us talking to him, he lit it and all we saw was a cloud of smoke, a bang... When I walked up to his body, it was nothing but his shoulders down.”

Suspected crash landing turns out to just be a pilot stopping off mid-flight at a strip club.

Senator Chuck Grassley questioned why the Department of Justice did not take action against "an admitted serial viewer of pornography" who served as an Assistant United States Attorney, even after the department’s Inspector General found at least one image of child porn on his work computer.

NYC pet store bans drunk people from buying puppies.

Sulfur pollution from 1998 to 2008 counteracted climate change, defying decades-long trend. This is sometimes cited as evidence to deny global warming.

Vivid Entertainment, an adult-entertainment company, dangled an offer to Casey Anthony to star in a porno and then withdrew it, citing the “overwhelmingly negative response” from the public.

Kim Kardashian, whose daddy helped OJ get off, weighs in on the Casey Anthony verdict on Twitter, and gets e-bitch slapped.

Man with HIV raped 6-month-old infant.

72-year-old woman named Adolph eaten by bears.

The U.S. capitalizes on prisons. Prisoners work for slave wages at 23 cents an hour producing at large military equipment and arms. The condition of work is dangerous, toxic and unprotected. The U.S. population of prisoners is larger than any in the world.

Founder of eHarmony recommends not getting married.
"If marriage didn't exist, would you invent it?" - Doug Stanhope.

Police serve warrant to photograph victim's penis.

Pfizer’s quit smoking drug raises heart risks by 72 percent: study.

Climate Denier Paul Gosar Blames Arizona Wildfires On ‘Extreme Environmental Groups’.

"Officer of the Year" charged with selling meth.

The first and only Swedish astronaut tries to commit suicide with homeopathic medicine, in order to prove that it dosen't work at all.

Apocalyptic Sign: Shia LaBeouf Befriends Marilyn Manson and Plans to Direct.

NY Times under attack from gas industry for its negative fracking coverage.

Too bad CEO pay only jumped 23% last year.

Florida Police Refuse to Take Action Against Mortgage Company That Illegally Ransacked and Burgled Man's Home.

In 2005, a psychologist and an economist taught a group of capuchin monkeys the concept of currency. In no too long, the first monkey prostitute was born.

California lawmakers pass bill to teach gay history.

Woman attacked by werewolf, apparently.

Michael Bay presents - The Lance Armstrong Story.

Women in the US military are more likely to be raped by a fellow soldier than killed by enemy fire: More than 19,000 women servicemembers were raped or sexually assaulted in 2010, whereas less than 1,000 men and women servicemembers died in combat in 2010 (infographic)

Weighing in on evolution...

Clean your room before selling anything on Ebay.

Study shows pigeons can recognize the faces of the humans who mistreated them.


Fun fact: All of the genealogy websites are run by Mormons and they are converting all your dead relatives.

Religion and scientific progress.

Vietnam Era Weapon, Agent Orange, Being Used to Clear the Amazon.

Fracking Fluids poison Monongahela National Forest, West Viginia.

Scientists drag light by slowing it to speed of sound.

The final nail in the supply side coffin: taxes are low, interest rates are low, corporations are sitting on $2 trillion in cash - but nothing "trickles down."

Meanwhile, in NYC: Woman takes a shower. On a subway train.

Woman Kicked Off Airplane, Deemed "Security Risk" for Taking Cell Phone Pic of Rude Employee.

$22 billion in gold, jewels found beneath Indian temple.

PC Magazine:Are Hacker Attacks Government Operation To Push Internet Censorship Laws?
From the cover of DUH Magazine.

"TSA warns of possible airline threat involving surgically implanted bombs."
My bullshit detector is screaming off the scale.

"Rise of the hacker journalist": Gizmodo tries to equate Wikileaks' exposure of the truth to The News of the World's hacking of a missing and dead 13-year-old girl's voicemail. Classy, no?

Company Fined €25,000 For Altering Wikipedia.

France preparing itself to pass a decree that would let ministers remove internet content that they think threatens "public order" without a court order.
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Internet Scrapings, Offbeat News and Other Bizarre Oddities

Cracked.com: 5 Acts of Nature That Rearranged the Face of the Planet.

Cracked.com: The 6 Most Amazing Military Raids of All-Time.

Endangered monkey steals wildlife photographer's camera, takes loads of pics of himself in various poses, expressions.

Fox News' Twitter hacked, posts that Obama had been assassinated. No one really notices.

Journalists at Rupert Murdoch-owned tabloid News of the World hacked the voicemail of a high-profile missing teenage girl, giving false hope to her family that she was alive when she had in fact been murdered. This is the latest in an ongoing scandal of journalists hacking the phones of celebrities and other people in the news.


Daily Mail blames freak natural accident on striking teachers.

A two-year-old Chinese girl survived a fall from a 10th-floor window thanks to a passer-by who raced to catch the toddler, state media reported Sunday.

Ten (real) most dangerous doctors of all time.

Motorcyclist dies after hitting head on pavement during protest against helmet laws.

It's like rain, on your wedding day.

DIY internet spreading through Middle East and Africa: "Just $60 of everyday items such as wood, cans, plastic tubs, wires and car batteries can provide internet service for hundreds of people. It's like the "telephone" of your youth and the best MacGyver episode ever, all rolled up into one."

Fun fact: Four U.S. presidents were male cheerleaders in college.

JFK airport invaded by turtles.

Also: Man stung by scorpion in airline flight.

16-year-old kid survives his SECOND plane crash. First one killed his mom, brother, and sister. Second one killed his dad and step-mom. He has no family left.

NASA suing astronaut Edgar Mitchell, sixth human to walk on the moon, for selling off a camera used on the surface of the moon. He argues that astronauts of his era were permitted to keep mementos from their missions, and that had he not kept the camera, it would have been destroyed by NASA. He decided to sell the camera because of financial problems.

5 Civil War reenactors struck by lightning.

Mystery woman drives by a burning building; gets out of car; runs into building and rescues child and then disappears.

Three US psychiatrists at Harvard Medical School and Massachusetts General Hospital, responsible for trailblazing the use of antipsychotic drugs in children, are facing sanctions for their failure to declare their acceptance of millions of dollars from pharmaceutical companies between 2000 and 2007.

A couple who say they were driven out of their family farm by the "nightmare" hum of wind turbines have mounted a ground-breaking £2.5 million compensation bid in London's High Court.

Fox News photoshops man into claymation-esque freak to make him appear untrustworthy.

Australian TV bans a satirised furniture maker's advert, the satire showing the company's real logging policy. Link includes ad.

Tea Party Nation endorses anti-gay bullying: "This is not bullying. It is peer pressure and is healthy."

India offers prizes to those who volunteer to be sterilized.

Cops mistook mentally challenged teenager's speech impediment for disrespect, so they Tasered, pepper-sprayed and beat him and called for backup after he rode his bike home to ask his mother to help him communicate with cops.

American Dad points out the advantage to getting your kids fat on fast food.

North Korea claims soccer players were struck by lightning after loss to U.S. Not TheOnion.

Vietnam Vet has his $10 000 lotto winnings confiscated because he was on welfare.

U.S. Navy bought 59,000 microchips that turned out to be fakes from China. Wired reports the chips had been made with a "back-door" and could have been remotely shut down at any time.

Woman Arrested After Allegedly Spraying Deputies With Breast Milk.

Police serve warrant to photograph victim's penis.

Annual cost of air conditioning for US war soldiers greater than NASA budget.

Just a video of a seal, snoring.

A Miami Beach police officer who authorities say struck two people with his department ATV Sunday morning on the sands of South Beach was allegedly drinking on the job and joyriding with a woman at the time of the crash.

China really, really interested in owning Facebook.

It's class warfare when Obama wants to tax corporate jets. But it's not class warfare when Republicans want to cut Medicare, unemployment and union rights. Everybody got that?

California man creates fake army unit, cons Chinese immigrants into enlisting.

Woman dies in swimming pool, no one notices for two days.

So it's like Weekend at Bernie's, except with a dead baby in a stroller and a shopping spree for mommy.

Woman gets into argument with another woman on tram, picks up her own baby and uses it as a baseball bat and goes swinging.

German police vulture apparently really sucks at his job.

"No, no, no, officer, I didn't rape her. I thought she was dead, you see..."

Ceremonies to celebrate divorces increase in Japan in the wake of disaster. Also, apparently divorces are celebrated in Japan.

Man who kept 24 king cobra snakes as pets, and photographed himself kissing them, dies when... oh, go on, guess

Man drives truck into lake, escapes, survives. Then jumps back in lake to retrieve belongings, Darwins.

Hundreds of Columbian women withhold sex from their partners until road gets fixed.

World Testicle & Aphrodisiac Cooking Championships have revealed they will dedicate their dishes to Britain's Prince William and Duchess Catherine.

"The resident doctor incorrectly placed a needle with a local anesthetic "directly into Jose's eye instead of behind the eye as was proper. Then, failing to recognize her error, she proceeded to inject so much anesthetic, so quickly, that Jose's eye literally exploded."

"The driver told the deputy that he didn't realize there was a dead pedestrian, severed leg, and shattered windshield in his passenger seat." Why, yes, alcohol was a factor, why do you ask?

From the Goddamn it all to Hell Dept.:

Believing in fairy tales can engender false memories, says scientific study.

Father of year candidate burns his son's hand because the boy touched his Bible and he thought he might be possessed. Bonus: Dad still lives with his parents

Professor hands out test paper with a question referring to a boy named Mohammed. So two Muslims chop off his hand for insulting the prophet of the religion of peace (tm).

American evangelist with "healing powers" visits Australia, gets shitfaced drunk, crashes car. Judge declares him a "person of good character" under a lot of "ministerial pressure", lets him go free with no jail time or fine. Preacher adds that God has forgiven him.

Christians persecute Pagan bookshop using Christian pamphlets, literature, harassment. You know, because it's all about sharing the unconditional, accepting love of Jesus.

Man believed he would be raptured on May 21 as Harold Camping said. Co-workers bring on the lulz from May 22 onwards. Man shoots co-workers. God works in mysterious ways etc.

From The Internet is at War Dept.:

Australia's internet industry claimed that 80-90% of Australians would have their internet connections filtered for child pornography this year.

Hollywood Force ISP To Use Child Abuse Filter Against File-Sharing Site.

US, UK Targeting Piracy Websites Outside Their Borders.

How anything you've EVER said on the internet could be seen by employers as Feds approve firm that dishes dirt on applicants.

LEAKED: UK copyright lobby holds closed-door meetings with gov't to discuss national Web-censorship regime.

Stating the obvious: LulzSec, Anonymous Reason For PROTECT IP Act, Says RIAA.

Hacker allegedly breaches Florida voting database to prove how easy electronic voting can be tampered with.

Microsoft May Add Eavesdropping To Skype: patent application from 2009 describes 'recording agents' to legally intercept VoIP phone calls, is comprehensive enough to make you think twice about VoIP audio and video communications.

Google chairman warns of censorship after Arab Spring: The use of the web by Arab democracy movements could lead to some states cracking down harder on internet freedoms, Google's chairman says.

From The Earth Will Kill Us All Dept.:

Swarms of venomous jelly fish and poisonous algae are migrating into British waters due to changes in the ocean temperatures, a major new study has revealed.

In other news, unusually large jellyfish populations shut down nuclear power plant in UK.

Climate sceptic Willie Soon received $1m from oil companies, papers show.

The State of Illinois is spending taxpayer money to distribute misleading information about coal to schoolchildren and teachers.

Sahara may be seeing the end of hundreds of years of drought. Turning green in some areas.

Drought in East Africa the Result of Climate Change and Conflict.

One of the world's most prominent scientific figures to be sceptical about climate change has admitted to being paid more than $1m in the past decade by major US oil and coal companies.

Climate models are creating a false sense of security, or at least insufficient terror.

Climate scientists targeted by unrelenting harassment campaign.
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Internet Scrapings, Offbeat News and Other Bizarre Oddities

Cracked.com: 5 Ways Methamphetamine Can Make You a New Person.

Gay marriage passes NY senate.

Quite possibly the worst tattoo(s) in sports.

Man robs bank for $1 so he could be arrested and sent to jail for free medical health care.

Teenager fined $100 for slapping highly endangered seal.

Couple who prayed instead of taking their baby to hospital when she looked like this, have been sentenced to jail.

A self-styled Taiwanese 'prophet' has been convicted of 'spreading rumours' when he said a monster earthquake would destroy the island last month and fined TW$40,000 ($1,708).

Meanwhile, Harold Camping was fined a grand total of zero.

Dutchman Builds Massive Ark to Save the Netherlands From Drowning.

They must be smoking some killer weed up there.

A simple image that accurately explains much of what's wrong with the world today.

Found via Reddit.

Mexican druglords building their own tanks, to add to their homemade narco subs. What next, their own air force?

The Brazilian government has confirmed the existence of a previously unknown group of so-called uncontacted people who have remained isolated from industrial society.

Man to ship himself across country from Arkansas to Oregon inside a crate while playing Lord of the Rings Online.

1,325 MPG Hypermiling Car Piloted by 11-Year-Old Girl.

Six Seriously Strange Animal Adaptations.

J-awesome operation: Twelve-pound tumor removed from woman's mouth in Germany.

78 Photography Rules for Complete Idiots.

Dog dies after cops arrest owner for being drunk in public and ignore his pleas to release it from his car; owner now being charged with dog's death.

The most depressing news story for this week: 15-year-old girl runs away with beloved pet dog to save it from being put to sleep, crashes family minivan, killing herself and her dog.

Wikileaks exposes US profiteering after Haiti earthquake.

Cops on bicycles chase down criminal on a bicycle.

The New York Fed is refusing to tell investigators how many billions of dollars it shipped to Iraq during the early days of the US invasion there.

Renowned horse trainer arrested for driving naked while smoking meth to "relieve the stress" of being arrested for child molestation. This guy doesn't sound stable [Dumbass]
Headline by Fark.

"A female patron of the festival walked into a portable toilet and told police she noticed that something was moving inside the tank when she lifted the lid... The supervisor tried to detain the suspect, but he ran away, covered in feces."

Eye-popping excitement: "Police say one of the men allegedly beat the other with a sledgehammer, dislodging his right eyeball from the socket."

Man went to court wearing jacket he was accused of stealing.

Bear cub put down for being 'too friendly'.

Bono's wandering cock annoys neighbours.

Woman films cops doing a traffic stop from her front yard, gets arrested for it.

Follow up: Supporters of woman arrested for filming cops at traffic stop have been harassed by cops through selective enforcing of parking laws.
"During a neighborhood meeting in support of Ms Good, Rochester Police came out with a ruler and measured the parking-distance of the attendees' cars. Cars that were more than 12 inches from the curb (even by half an inch) were ticketed. Needless to say, the 12 inch ordinance isn't normally enforced with this kind of vigor."

Australian ISPs To Start Filtering the Internet.

Woman Wakes Up at Her Own Funeral, Has a Heart Attack, and Dies.
"A 49 year old woman, Fagilyu Mukhametzyanov, declared dead and prepared for burial in her coffin, woke up with mourners praying for her soul, started screaming, and died of shock within twelve minutes."

Blogger criticizes restaurant, goes to jail for it.

Hacked emails from security contractor HBGary Federal reveal a disturbing public-private partnership to spy on web users.

Data mining of prescription drug records for marketing purposes is protected under free speech says Supreme Court [PDF]

Pioneering Rawandan woman shatters the old sexist myth that girls are no good at genocide [Sad]
Headline by Fark.

Man goes 37 years without a bath, because his priest told him it would help him have a son.

Anti-gay therapy drove gay man to suicide.

Cop arrests cop for DUI.

GE’s ironic new slogan: ‘Natural gas. It’s hot stuff.’

Redefining the Language of War: Nine Words With New Meanings.

"Intimate piercing" earns Melbourne soccer player red card.

Woman abandons children at gas station, then runs into woods half-naked to save the world.

Mom tries to end argument with teenage daughter by trying to bite off her nose, later claims she did so accidentally.

Man dies trying to amputate own legs with hacksaw.

Firefighter who was honored for responding to the most fire calls is arrested - for setting fires.

Actual Florida headline: Meanwhile in Florida: Guy Fowlkes Arrested in Gunpowder Plot.

Old and busted: Delta losing your luggage. New hotness: Delta bouncing around your lost luggage for four days, then pissing all over it.

Fired IT Worker Replaces CEO's Presentation With Porn.

Mayor Unveils Brilliant Plan to Solve Financial Crisis: 3 Days of Fasting and Prayer.

Not news: Daughter stabs man threatening to kill her mother. News: Daughter is 9. WTF: Not the first time she's had to do it

Man gets drunk and naked, decides to perform surgery on pet doberman.

Times Square invaded by Yoga class.

A Melbourne church youth leader claimed his rape of an unconscious 14-year-old girl, who he later tried to kill by burning her alive with petrol, was prompted by his "sexual demons".

Party bus attendee opens emergency roof hatch, sticks head out through roof as bus goes under low overpass, Darwins.

Man arrested in love triangle involving 3 dogs and 1 horse.

Jewish court sentences dog to death by stoning.

Atheists raise funds for vandalized churches.

And now: sleepovers at the zoo.

The World's Wealthiest People Now Richer than Before the Credit Crunch.

Drunken tow boat captain rescued stranded sailors, then drove around in circles for hours.

Hacked emails from security contractor HBGary Federal reveal a disturbing public-private partnership to spy on web users.

Where donuts come from.

After charging two men with raping a teenage tourist in Dubai, the government charges her with having 'sexual urges'.
Ah, Dubai.

Unemployed man facing jail for not having child support money burns himself alive in front of courthouse.

India's war on farmers.

Five More Arrested For Feeding The Homeless In Florida.

North Atlantic Fish Stocks: They're not depleted, they're GONE.

Giant rats eat two babies in South Africa townships in separate attacks.

IEA says World Crude Oil Production Peaked in 2006 and we need 4 new Saudi Arabias.
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What the fuck

Cyclist and bike shop owner training for triathlon hit by car. Car stops, driver gets out, yells at her, runs over her again. She's was in a coma for nearly a month and has only started speaking yesterday, and speaks briefly like a stoned three-year-old. The DA refuses to press charges against the driver and apparently, that's just that.

"Last month, a dear friend of mine named Jan Morgan was hit while riding her bicycle training for an Ironman. It was a straight road (no turns or hills) and the sun could not have been in the driver's eyes. The car hit them from behind at full speed. At first glance you might think this was an accident. BUT Robbie Norton, the woman who hit Jan, got out of the car, looked at Jan, yelled at her for cycling in the road, got back in her car and ran Jan over again. There were multiple witnesses who stopped Robbie Norton by dragging her out of the car.

Reddit, the problem is, we've just learned they do not intend on pressing charges. Reason? The District Attorney, Forrest Allgood, says there are no laws in Mississippi to protect cyclists from this."

Infuriating. Unbelievable.
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Writer's Block: See you on the other side

If you could find out what happens after you die, would you want to know?

SPOILER ALERT: Nothing happens after you die, except you become worm food. It's irrelevant. What's really important is what you do with your life before that happens.

I have seen no evidence or argument that's pro-afterlife that makes any sense, aside from it being an imaginary idea that people have concocted up because they're too scared of death to face reality. Not only is there no scientific proof of there being an afterlife of any kind, the very idea is ludicrous on its face. It's like a child asking you check for monsters under the bed or in the closet, and then demanding proof that said monsters do not exist, and claiming victory when you can't prove that said monsters do not exist.

Why should there be an afterlife of any kind, good or bad? What purpose would this serve? Do whales, dolphins, apes, elephants, cats and dogs also go to heaven? Why not? What about intelligent invertibrates like octopuses and cuttlefish? What about hell? And if so, is this restricted only to intelligent animals? What about rats and cockroaches? What about bacteria and viruses? Why are they unimportant? Who decides which lifeforms have a soul? What IS a soul? Can it even be defined? Is intelligence or sentient intelligence the defining factor here?

What if you're brain-dead? No brain activity whatsoever, no hope of recovery; but your body is still technically alive and breathing. Where's your soul then? What if you're mentally retarded and have the IQ of a goldfish? What if you're a child? What if you were aborted? Stillborn?

And what would you do in the afterlife? Exactly how would it not be terminally, mind-numbingly boring? What is the afterlife for? What function would it serve? What's the point?

Let's not even get into the whole idea of hell. I find it hilarious that so many people think there's life after death in some form, but reject the idea of hell. At least that's been my experience: "yeah, there must be something after this life, but I don't think hell is real." Well, why not? You believe in heaven, why not hell? You want the good, but not the bad?

What if you're a mass murderer? Is Jeffrey Dahmer chilling out in heaven with all the young boys he raped, tortured, murdered and ate? Technically he should be, because he apparently genuinely repented and accepted Christ as his savior just days before he was shanked in prison. The afterlife must be mighty awkward for him, I imagine.

Not to mention that the only real function of heaven and hell appears to be the carrot and the stick. "Be good and you'll go to heaven, but be bad and you'll burn in hell for eternity." It's like Christmas and Santa Claus making his list and checking it twice. You know, if you're a good little boy or girl you get gifts. Be bad and you get a lump of coal.

Except you grow out of that phase. With religion what you get is people being actively encouraged to ruin their lives because after all, this life is just a blink of an eye in the face of this supposed eternal bliss. God will reward you for all the fun you didn't have by not throwing you into hell.

Makes you wonder why one would WANT to spend eternity with a guy like that. Even my parents would never psychologically manipulate me like that, even if it really was for my own good. So if there was a heaven, would I really WANT to go there? Sounds odd that God would create me in his own image and whatnot, give me free will, and then punish me for using that free will. So it's a choice to follow or reject God, yes, in the same way that a rape victim with a gun to her forehead has a choice to disobey the rapist. Argue all you want whether rape or a bullet to the head (or both) is better, but don't try to tell me that victim is "free to choose."

Anyway, life is precious specifically because it's finite and the only one we have. I don't have a problem with this, because I'd rather live a full but short life than a long but empty, boring one, wouldn't you? The clock is ticking. Do something. Live. You're going to die anyway, what do you have to lose?