May 7th, 2011

word can help write your suicide note

Footage from Alaska's STOL (Short Take-off and Landing) Competition.

Footage from an STOL (short take-off and landing) competition in Alaska.

"Unlike other places where speed may dominate pilot discussions, up here it’s all about how slow you can go. It’s directly related to how quickly you can get off the ground and how little room you need to land... At the STOL competition in Valdez, takeoffs and landings are measured in tens of feet. Pilots pull up to a line and try to get off the ground with as little ground roll as possible. They also try to touch down as soon as they pass a line on the ground in the shortest possible distance."

Also, it took six fucking edits to get this post to work.
word can help write your suicide note

Internet Scrapings mega-post 5 Unexpected Downsides of High Intelligence. 9 Absurd Movie Premises That Actually Happened.

Green Army Men with PTSD.

"Inspired by the crime, misfortune and neglect experienced by a battalion of soldiers who'd returned from Iraq to Colorado Springs, the Dorothy arts collective created these molded plastic green army men and called it "Casualties of War.""

Man found nailed to cross with crown of thorns on head and wound in his side, between two wooden crosses and near a set of instructions on how to build wooden crosses and tools, in South Korea. Police don't know if it is a murder or suicide.

Quote of the day: Jon Stewart on the Bin Laden pics.

Florida cop searches suspicious woman, find knife in her vagina, as well as another knife and hundreds of pills hidden in her rolls of body fat.

Meanwhile, in Iran: Ahmadinejad allies charged with sorcery.

Africans prone to sex with demons, suggests Jacksonville City Council candidate, a pro-lifer who claims to have aborted "satan's baby." [not the Onion]

"I took my hand and put it over the lowest part of her stomach area and cursed the seed of Satan from her womb. By the authority of Jesus Christ, I performed a spiritual abortion and killed Satan's baby. Her body then fell limp as I called the spirit of Dracula out of her and broke the curse of the living dead off of her."---Kimberly Daniels, page 113, From A Mess To A Miracle, 2002, Creation House Press

Mouthless methhead busted for... wait, wat

Girl goes from being Britain's fattest teenager to dangerously anorexic after a gastric band operation intended to save her life.

Scotland now powered by whiskey.

"It is the spirit that powers the Scottish economy, and now whisky is to be used to create electricity for homes in a new bioenergy venture involving some of Scotland's best-known distilleries."

New York artist makes, sells cheese made from human breastmilk, because... why the hell not, right?

"The Lady Cheese Shop is a temporary art installation by Miriam Simun, a graduate student at New York University who hopes to use the craft of cheese-making to raise questions about the ethics of modern biotechnologies."

Mobility scooter races light against airplane.

Meet the five-year-old boy who sold 3,000 monster drawings to pay for his own cancer treatment.

"You must get a job, I want a new penis"

"Zaprian Lozanov, a Bulgarian man who had his penis chopped off by his best friend Lyubomir while he was demonstrating his martial arts skills, is to help him get a new job - so he can pay for a new manhood."

A former Chicago Bears football star committed suicide by shooting himself in the chest so that his brain could be later examined by researchers. Yesterday, researchers announced that his brain tissue showed undisputed evidence of the trauma disease that he believed he had.

Chrysler Introduces New Midsized Sedan For In-Home Use.

Man high on bath salts kill's neighbor's goat while wearing a bra and panties.

Mummified body of former Playboy playmate Yvette Vickers, star of "Attack of the 50-Foot Woman," found in her Benedict Canyon home. She had been dead for months.

Chinese teenager has carried friend to school on back for eight years.

Hummingbird-Sized Ants Once Roamed Wyoming.

Drug trafficker with twelve fingers identified by his hands.

A shipment of potentially infectious polio virus destined for a South African research centre is missing after the vehicle carrying it was hijacked in Johannesburg.

It's news stories like these that terrify me and make me wonder if movies like 28 Days Later and whatnot are prophecies.

Five More Inventors Killed By Their Own Creations.

Murderer Caught Because He Had the Murder Scene Tattooed on His Chest.

President of South Korea coughs up accupuncture needle.

Meanwhile, in Florida: Alligator attempts to eat police car. With video.

German mayor rescues man trapped in women's prison.

Wall Street Journal launches insecure Wikileaks clone, promises to sell you out.
"The Wall Street Journal launched a Wikileaks clone, Safehouse, today. The site itself is reportedly crude and insecure, and its terms of service say they will report you to the law or otherwise sell you out if it pleases them: "We reserve the right to disclose any information about you to law enforcement authorities or to a requesting third party, without notice, in order to comply with any applicable laws and/or requests under legal process, to operate our systems properly, to protect the property or rights of Dow Jones or any affiliated companies, and to safeguard the interests of others."

Australian Teen Charged over throwing eggs at Justin Bieber.

The three stages of a man's life.

How Could You Do This To Me? Or Why Marriages Fall To Pieces.
Includes several very NSFW pics.

Your wife or girlfriend really should read this.

Blackwater's new eithics chief is John Ashcroft. Not the Onion.

Just a pic of a bunch of little baby octopuses.

Why, where do you hide your bazooka?

Why people choose not to believe what scientists say.

Hackers steal unreleased songs using Wi-Fi in a car parked outside music studio .

How China recycles millions of cellphones each year.

When it comes to getting your nipple pierced, avoid the DIY route. Here's why.

"No proof of Bin Laden's death"

Cheerleader raped by basketball player, then gets kicked off the squad because she refuses to cheer for him by name. She takes it to court, loses, and now owes $45,00 in legal fees.

White supremacist shot and killed by own son.

The many names of Nicholas Cage.

Banksy visits Africa.

The 12 worst (and most powerful) Christian Right groups in the US. These groups raise more than three-quarters of a billion dollars annually, mostly tax-exempt, and are politically well connected.

The Xenotext is a poem that has been translated into DNA to be inserted into a bacterium.

Group of deaf, mute friends stabbed at bar after thug mistakes sign language for gang signs.

"The terrorists have won."

Alaska Bans the Ridiculous 'Sport' of Tasing Wildlife.

University sues over defective toilet paper.

Rollerblader ticketed after speed camera snaps him hitting 40mph in a 30mph zone.

Climate change is already reducing worldwide harvests.

The free world will sleep better tonight now that a 69-year-old man who grew two pot plants at his home to help his wife cope with breast cancer has been sentenced to 60-days behind bars [Asinine]

Need to relax? Enjoy this beautiful, calming video.

Mozilla tells DHS: we won't help you censor the Internet.

Swimmers could be kept warm by the heat from cremated bodies.
"The leisure and youth panel has been told that heat from the crematoriumâ s furnaces could be piped through to warm the lido and the indoor Aldershot Swimming Pools Complex to save money."

Because if a good ol' fashioned gang rape won't turn a lesbian straight, what the hell will?
Headline by Fark.

Blood-covered naked burglar caught eating raw chicken.

Oregon woman goes to the dentist, wakes up with British accent.

Meanwhile, in Sweden [NSFW]

Korea suffered it's worst "Yellow Dragon" sand storm this weekend. This is the direct result of desertification in China.

Top Climate Scientist On Killer Tornadoes: 'It Is Irresponsible Not To Mention Climate Change'

Food scarcity.

WikiLeaks founder Julian Assange: Facebook is the most appalling spy machine that has ever been invented.

Wikileaks: Police Arrested Movie Pirate As “A Personal Favor” To Movie Official.

Toddler shoots mom dead, boy's father tells Florida police.

Christian school administrator charged with 120 sex crimes, going for high score apparently.

Man Dressed as Cow Steals 26 Gallons of Milk.

500 years ago, European explorers transmitted leprosy to armadillos. Now the armadillos are returning the favor and passing it back to us.

1/2 Mile long webpage shows solar system to scale. Uranus is about half way [make Uranus joke].
"Unlike most models, which are compressed for viewing convenience, the planets here are also shown at their true-to-scale average distances from the Sun. That makes this page rather large - on an ordinary 72 dpi monitor it's just over half a mile wide, making it possibly one of the largest pages on the web."

Reporters witness a Christian pastor molesting women at "demon-banishing" service; pastor "plunged his fingers into her private parts and started moving his fingers inside her vagina" in front of crowd, including her husband.

Pat Robertson: Liberals Abort Their Babies to Be More Like Lesbians.

High school senior fakes pregnancy as school project to investigate how pregnant teenagers are treated and gives report during school assembly.

How climate science became the target of "the best-funded, best-organized smear campaign by the wealthiest industry the Earth has ever known."

Man sues Facebook... for $1.

Women invade England's Lakeside Shopping Center in nothing but bras, panties and high heels [you better believe there's pics].

Kentucky church protesting lack of gay marriage rights by refusing to sign marriage liscences until everyone has equal rights.

Prescription drug addiction now killing more people than crack cocaine in the 1980s and heroin in the 1970s combined.

Woman dies in the shittiest way possible.

Catholic Bishop returns from trip to Thailand, Indonesia and Malaysia, gets busted at airport with sex toys and child porn on his laptop. In court, requests to go to jail immediately.

Man calls computer repair shop after getting his laptop back with a new hard drive, to complain that the techs didn't copy all of his homemade child porn collection back onto his machine. With predictable results.

West Virginia man decides to find out what happens when you go get your hardcore child porn developed at Wal-Mart.

Emotionally crippled woman can keep physically crippled kangaroo
Headline by Fark.

Dubai woman sues ex-husband for £7.25m over alleged impotency.

New invention and the logical progression from this point onwards assures us that human beings will start going extinct very, very soon.

Naked patient hijacks ambulance.

From the Department of Wikipedia Madness:

The Euthanasia Coaster
"is a concept for a steel roller coaster designed to kill its passengers."

The word "blessing" comes from the word "bleodsain" which is the term for sprinkling blood in pagan rituals.