Man told by doctors that he's dying of cancer and has six weeks left to live. Man gives away all his money, pays for own funeral, waits for death. One year later, the doctors tell him they were wrong and he's not really dying of cancer. Oops.
Actual headline: Giant penis man needs 're-chalkers'.
Thumbdrive with sensetive military data on it discovered on the floor of a nightclub. This is the 120th time data of this nature has been lost this way by the Ministry of Defence, apparently.
Solar car repeatedly pulled over by cops coz it looks like a UFO.
Actual headline: Man blames bad driving on spilled beer. Well, at least he's not lying?
Lebanese chef finds 26 pearls in a single oyster.
SWAT team peacefully ends eight-hour standoff with an empty house. You'd be surprised but I've seen variations of this headline a few times before.
Darwin award misses three Chinese idiots and their attempt to smuggle and sell depleted uranium, which by the way is highly radioactive. The fact that it literally glowed in the dark didn't seem to preturb them much.
Verizon tech busted for using customer lines to make $220,000 worth of calls to sex lines.
Seth McFarlane, creator of Family Guy, opens online cartoon site, Seth MacFarlane's Cavalcade of Cartoon Comedy.
Stripper to stand trial for sexual assault for shoving a vibrator up the butt of the best man during a wild bachelor party.
Man makes a naughty cellphone video of himself intended for his fiance, accidentally sends it to the wrong number, ends up on the sex offender registry.
A computer game in which players control an American soldier sent to “wipe out the Muslim race” has been condemned as offensive and tasteless by British Muslim groups. The goal of Muslim Massacre, which can be downloaded for free, is to “ensure that no Muslim man or woman is left alive”, according to the game’s creator. Players control an “American Hero” armed with a machine gun and rocket launcher who is parachuted into the Middle East. By slaughtering all the Arabs that appear on screen – some dressed as terrorists, some apparently civilians - players progress to later levels where they take on Osama bin Laden, Mohammed and finally Allah.
Footnote: A Facebook for the deceased.