August 5th, 2008

word can help write your suicide note

Writer's Block: Reality TV Your Way

If you could make your own reality show, what would it be about and who would be on it?

I'd do a reality show on the church / ministry I worked for in Faridabad. It would reveal everything that really goes on behind the scenes of the church business (and make no mistake, it is a business), the manipulation, the lies, the hypocrisy, the abject and utter evil.

It would cover all the porn-watching, booze and sex that takes place in secret during the week while we preach living a holy and pure life and making churchgoers feel guilty for being naturally horny while they have no clue what really goes on behind the scenes.

It would cover church employees - working 18 hours a day, seven days a week, too poor to feed their family or buy their kids new clothes, living in shitty houses with no running water and sporadic electricity - being told by our boss (the senior pastor and reverend) about how as Christians we're all called to be humble and pious, making sacrifices as acts of worship to God, reminding us of how simply Jesus lived.... before he runs off in his chauffeur driven, Italian-leather-upholstered luxury car to his gigantic mansion-like house.

It would cover the ministry giving tours to very rich, well meaning, soft-hearted, generous American and European Christians who have never comprehended poverty at the magnitude you see it here in India - showing them people living in carboard boxes eating shit from garbage dumps, naked because they're too poor to even clothe themselves - causing said rich white visitors to openly sob like kids at their plight, understandably heartbroken... and then happily accepting their five and six figure donation checks and money orders so that they can continue building huge churches and buildings, get bigger houses, buy ipods and expensive laptops and suits that cost more than their church employees' earnings in a year, upgrade their cars to the next luxury vehicle fresh off the assembly lines, and fly to other countries on first class or business class tickets to give slideshows of starving people in India to even more rich people with soft hearts in other countries so they can generate more donations and then call it "God's provision." Also, see above about the state of church employees while they're doing all this.

Church leaders ass-kissing naiive and rich church members, while treating church employees slightly worse than a bowl of fresh dogshit.

Run a "bible college" for recent converts out of the villages, many of whom have hardly reached sixth grade, telling them they'll get "hands-on ministry training and experience" and then literally using them as slave labor for free, to do everything from cleaning the church toilets to moving heavy equipment to outeach programs and whatnot. Mention that recently one of them committed suicide and another had a nervous breakdown and had to be put into a psych ward.

I think it'd be... interesting to watch, to say the least.
word can help write your suicide note

Tonight's scrapings of offbeat news and oddities.

Ohio inmate says he's too fat for execution. Only in America, I swear. via wtf_inc.

About the apalling prejudice and hatred faced by Flat Earthers (people who insist the Earth is flat) who continue to challenge the conspiracy duping the masses into believing that the Earth is round.
The NASA picture is an obvious fake, according to Flat Earthers. No comment from that Time Cube guy.

Love is blind: Man arrested for chasing garbage truck while naked and fondling himself.

Germany hails 'bulletproof bra' for policewomen.

Superbugs, or how popping pills and antibiotics and vaccines and whatnot are actually making diseases evolve into stronger, drug resistant strains and may kill us all off one day.

Argentinian President pushing for decriminalization of drugs.

Nutcase mods, creates world's lowest low-riding VW camper van.

About a girl who collapses into paralasys everytime she laughs.

Yet another foot has washed ashore on the Canadian coast.

Dad teaches 15 year old son how to do drugs, son overdoses and dies.

SWAT team raid town mayor's house over delivery of a box of marijuana, shoot and kill his dogs. Note that one of the dogs was shot from behind while running away.

Woman accused in 1 million pound fraud case claims voodoo caused her to do it, offers severed fingers as evidence, gets convicted.

Cops discover 11 feral children in remote, rural home, fighting over food. "The first girl could write her name and date of birth," said Capt. Parker, who handed out a pad and pens to the kids in order to get their information. "The second girl couldn't figure it out, and it just started going downhill from there."

Sexual assault in military 'jaw-dropping,' lawmaker says