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"I do not feel well, pressed beneath this spell.
Polishing my social skills, with one more drink, and two more pills.
I do not feel good, I thought by now I would."
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October 18th, 2008 at 4:47pm]
I'm oh so lonely. And I'm tired of feeling this way. Like, I'm tired of these people I call friends. I feel as if they won't do shit for me. And won't look out for me. I just don't know. I'm PMSing I know that much. Just....ugh. It's one of those days, rainey and all that rot. Fuck. I need to start studying, picking out my sechedule, getting out there and meeting people...

But I'm just so damned depressed. And last night we went to the club. Ugh. I just feel so empty.

And I don't know. I'm tired of things. Tired of life. I need to get a job so I can throw myself in it because mindless work is always better than studying. And my roommate is just lying in bed. Got up and then went back to sleep. And my ac is on fucking 75. It's horrible. I'm hot as fuck.

Ugh. I'm just so lost. And I don't think I've ever been found. And why do people feel this way? Because there are too many that do.

Like my friend Julia.... how can I be her friend when she misses her "old" friends too much. She's living in the past too much and it drives me insane.

And I just watched a show where this boy's sister gets attacked and he's so sad... No one will ever feel that way about me. I can't stop crying. And I need to go to the gym. But I can't get out of bed. FUCK. I have to get out of bed...

here I go.
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April 16th, 2008 at 11:39am]
I've been feeling this way since the beginning of April, so it's safe to say it's a depression settled into these bones. I can't stop crying and I feel so so so weak.

I know its PMS and exams and failing Spanish but I feel so lonely. I have nothing and I can't get this feeling away.
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April 7th, 2008 at 10:27pm]
So there's 3 weeks left in my freshman year at college. It went by a lot quicker than I expected it to. I hope I had enough fun that I wanted to. I'm not too sure yet; I'm too burnt out on the classes. I'm failing my major-Spanish. It's so hard. I'm partying hard, but not as hard as I would like. I actually would never like to be sober... No lie.

Ugh, I'm just really stressed out. 3 weeks left means 3 weeks until finals. Ahh, I'm shitting bricks. And I took a sleeping pill 15 minutes ago and it hasn't kicked in yet. I'm pissed. I'm a bout to take another half. 15 is nothing though. I'm used to taking 20. Hahah.

But yes, I'm super stressed out. I want to do so well in college, but I rather have so much more fun. Hahah, but I have this....craving to do well.

I don't know if I even care anymore. It's just.... I'm PMSing because I sort of just want to be alone and whatnot. I don't want to talk to anyone and just read a good book in my bed. But I have so much to do....

Oh well. Love love love. Tomorrow Ill probably drink.
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August 21st, 2004 at 10:09pm]

Friends Only, Suckas.
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