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the girl who couldn't deal

[ website | xanga. ]
[ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ]
[ calendar | livejournal calendar ]

[30 Jun 2004|09:17pm]
[ mood | bored ]

i think i'm gonna dump this journal.


8 screamed|look at me

[29 Jun 2004|02:18pm]
ah, well today's what.. tuesday? hum. kinda chatting with michelle ha right now. she said that i should come to that big fireworks thing on july 3rd at garcia bend park. eh. she told me lots of people from school were going. i suppose i'd like to see greg again. ^^ i wish i'd have someone to go with, though. michelle told me that i could hang out with her group though, haha.

it'd be nice to get out of the house, though. since my mom got layed off from her job now or something, she's tried to start fighting with my dad again and crying all the time. it's really annoying. i wanna go to a friend's house really badly. and my dad doesn't have to go to work today either. so there are many more possible fights that will happen today. god. i wish one of my parents would just leave already. they'd be much happier. of course, it's probably not the "chinese way" or some other crap.

gah. i want my new glasses already. my dad said that i could go myself and pick them up, but only if i had company. i asked mei, but she said no because she was "too tired" or something. and like i'd ask sendy or sabrina to come with. sendy said that she would call me on the saturday after school ended to talk about summer plans and stuff. look, it's been over 2 weeks. hah. i'd probably end up calling one of 'em anyways. -_-
2 screamed|look at me

[28 Jun 2004|11:29pm]
[ mood | depressed ]

i think i'm on the verge of tears, right now.

i want someone to talk about this to, but i can't because no one's online. i was talking to greg a bit ago, but then he signed off. and isabela's never on this late either. even if i had someone to talk to, i couldn't, because i'd just choke on my words and not be able to say or do anything.

i want to just spill everything to someone, even though i'm not sure what that everything is.

my mind keeps going back to isabela too. i do wonder how i'm so open with greg, even though i've been friends with him for just a couple of weeks, while i've known isabela for nearly a whole school year. isabela.. i just can't seem to talk about these sort of personal things with her, on the phone and online. with greg, it's so strange. it's.. indescribable. gah.

i really need greg online right now. ;_;

look at me

[27 Jun 2004|04:04pm]
sunday. boredom. again. i was talking to mel and janette a bit ago. mel and i are planning to go shopping on wednesday or thursday. janette wants me to run over to chad's house to demand for my age of empires cd. haha.

isabela's not home! grr. she must be at that.. party.. thing. i have to call her to ask if she'd want to come along with mel and i. if she can't come, i guess it's okay. we're either going to the downtown plaza or arden. either way, it'll be fun. ^^ we shall sneak into various movies after we've seen.. err.. a movie. then go shopping. i still wanna go to hot topic and check out their hair dye prices. i just hope plans work out and stuff. along with the parents.

hum, well.. oh yeah, i talked to liz shigetoshi last night. she's pretty cool. haha. "grr school." how dumb was i. haha.

man, i wanna go to the library so much. just ride my bike there along with an empty backpack to put the books in when i check them out. i'll secretly bring along two dollars also, to renew my library card because i lost it ages ago. man, what an adventure.

i think i'll go use my newly inspired urge to write fabulous stories from janette now.
look at me

[26 Jun 2004|07:20pm]
[ mood | bored ]

today's been a bad day.

well, i wanted to go to arden mall with mei. but then she said there wouldn't be enough time, but she still wanted to go to albertson's for that coinstar thing so she could exchange all of her change into bills. i suggested that we take the bus to greg's house too, but then he wasn't home. when i called, his dad said that he went with derek soohoo to meet a group of kids, including a girl named liz shigetoshi. so, eh.

so then, we went to downtown plaza instead. i also wanted to go see if i could go pick up my glasses, but then when we got there, the place was closed on the weekend. damn. -_- oh well, i'd just have to get them on monday then, with my stupid father. damn again.

for stores, we went to only a couple. forever21 was the first, and oh my god, it was horrible. i just hated everything in there, except for this one plain black tank top, and this really cool black jacket, which i thought was awesome because it was like the character cassandra's outfit from saved! when they all went to prom. hahah.

i want to go to the library right now.. and to isabela's house. my dad can always drive me in the morning there, but who would drive me home?

eh. nothing ever works out. -_-

i think i might call isabela now.

1 screamed|look at me

[25 Jun 2004|12:53pm]
[ mood | happy ]

well.. another day. and greg, i finally read greg's comment too-dae. why too-dae? he told me he didn't want me to read it while i was online talking to him. dumb him, haha. and yes, i love you too, greg! you're an awesome friend, and i'm sorry that i was too stupid and intimidated to just walk up and start talking to you :/

i feel so strange. i feel so.. love-y right now. so i'll name off people that i love. i love isabela, of course. you're an awesome friend, and i'm sorry i was.. so.. stupid and overreactive during the year. i love you very much, isabela! (even though you're still a complete preppie-poo-head :P)

and mel-ah-nee. i know in elementary school, we didn't get off to that great of a start when we met each other. *cough cough* but i love you very much also, and i also love you very much for.. well, trying to understand me during elem. school, because i know that i was ohsostrange and a bit like a sad , bitchy little emo kid, even though i listened to linkin park, haha! XP

so yeah. i don't know who else i love. i guess if i didn't put you on there or something, we must not be at that stage yet, or i just hate you.

i'll update more later today..

and guess what? i think i can truthfully say that my mood is happy for once. :)

note: if you are going to comment.. i am mostly into updating my xanga now.. but i'm still updating lj, for some reason.. i'm rather attached to it. XP

4 screamed|look at me

[24 Jun 2004|02:59pm]
i love gone by switchfoot.. it's such a poppy sort of song.. the chorus is just.. cool. ^^ if you wanna hear it, just go to the playlist above *points*. erm, can anyone tell me who the mEaH!!! person in the chatterbox is? just plain curiosity.. anyways..

hmm. y'know what. for high school. i was talking to greg last night, and i kind of realized that i didn't really want to go to ckm. i mean, look at mei chin.. she's a completely preppy airhead, practically, now. that scares me, really. i don't want to go to burbank, which is the local high school. full of ghetto people. eck. so the only other option is kennedy. i kinda want to go there, since there, they'll be brannan people that i can recognize/are familiar with. i guess i'll ask my dad about it.

hum. i feeeel like going shopping. izziebelah dear, when you get your allowance, we shall purchase items! whoo! :D

y'know what. i feel like letting my hair grow out to long again. ah. i really like annie kan's hair in her xanga picture, haha! her bangs are super cool. i haven't had bangs like that in ages! but then, i'll just have to wait my hair to grow out. gah, that'll just take ages. on the light brown-ish parts of my hair, i see bits of root coming out already. gah. i regret bleaching my hair and dying that bang blue now. i miss my black hair. :( last year, i still had my longer layered BLACK hair, like a normal asian. i feel so different now.


and you're raising the dead in me..
2 screamed|look at me

[23 Jun 2004|08:15pm]
What Would You Do If..
I cried:
I asked you to help:
I was becoming suicidal:
I killed myself:
I died from natural causes:
I said I liked you:
I kissed you:
I started smoking:
I stole something:
I was hospitalized:
I ran away from home:
I got in a fight and you were there:

Would You..
..be my friend:
..tell me the truth, no matter what:
..lie to make me feel better:
..spread rumors about me:
..keep a secret if I told you one:
..loan me some cash:
..hold my hand:
..take a bullet for me:
..keep in touch:
..try and solve my problems:
..love me:
..kiss me:

fill out, submit as a comment, and make me feel special. ♥
3 screamed|look at me

[23 Jun 2004|07:40pm]
[ mood | bored ]

strange.. i feel more biased towards xanga now. i dunno, i guess the option of a playlist and a chatterbox is cool, or something. ^^" still updating lj, though.

i really wanna see harry potter.. i think ron is shexay. <3 hahaha! i really wanna go shopping for some clothes, too.. i haven't gone in ages! mei said that she wanted to know the next time my mom was going to old navy, so she could tag along and buy some flip-flops, she says. haha.

haha, i'm watching seinfield right now. some dude stole jerry's car. kramer presents the idea to just.. CALL the car phone. he just plain asks him why he stole his car.. "i didn't know it was YOUR car." XD oh my god, i love this show, even though it's super -old and these are just re-runs. eh.

well, what did i do today. i went to costco with mother. we got yummy stuff. yay. FUDGE ICE CREAM BARS. <3

hum. anyways. erm. updates later. good-bye. :)

5 screamed|look at me

[22 Jun 2004|08:15pm]
[ mood | bored ]

today, i painted all of my left hand fingers except for the </b>thumb</b>, black. gah, it's been nearly 2 weeks since school was let out, yet it's felt like f o r e v e r . . . and i have to go through another 2 months of this crap, every single day.. when will it end?

i don't think it ever will..

sigh. well, for xanga, i'm taking on dear bela's idea and updating both journals, but with the same entries.. i'm just too lazy to make different entries for both journals.

well, what did i do today.. basically nothing.. i phoned greg a couple of hours ago.. well, i think he got.. really annoyed by me. i never really got to have an actual conversation with that chan person, so yeah..

11 screamed|look at me

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